CHOCOLATE MALT : A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY ?

Various expat members have been devastated above all other events by the tragic loss of Chocolate Malts which seem to be mysteriously absent from Vietnam.
This delicacy once linked to clusters of UFO sightings around certain retailers and secret convoys to Area 51 has evaded detection in Vietnam despite the desperate search for a reliable source by those that are tragically addicted and in need of a fix to stave off a total mental and physical breakdown.
Evidence of these effects can be seen in their various posts.
Personally I detest the stuff but one has to have sympathy for it's devout followers. It is rumoured that a secretive cult, known only as the CMA, ( Chocolate Malts Addicts ), prowl the streets at night defying lock down in a desperate attempt to seek out and consume the elusive liquid. When I asked contacts whether they thought the government is hiding all available stocks for their own consumption they said “No, do not be so ridiculous, there are other more important matters now”.
But an inside source, who does not wish to be named for fear of retribution, said that the CMA are furious that such trivial matters as the Corona Virus, Global Warming, people in poverty etc are receiving more coverage when the real problem is the Chocolate Malts crisis.
So serious is this that some of the CMA are secretly importing a highly condensed form that can be injected or sucked up their nostrils.
Some historians also claim that the Knights Templar hid and protected this secret means of immortality and that the Arc of the Covenant was really a box containing the original recipe.
Who knows for sure. But one thing is certain, like or hate this liquid one cannot deny the seriousness of life in Vietnam without it.