Have had a disturbing incident this morning that almost got out of hand. The electricity in my apartment was cut so, being uncomfortably hot, my wife and I went out for coffee to get some air and found a relatively clean cafe.
Sitting by the roadside it was all quite pleasant until a taxi pulled up. The passenger got out and then the driver followed. Right in front of us, less than 3m away, he urinated against a tree.
Now I have to say that having been here for many years I always try to ignore the various aspects of what I consider to be unacceptable behaviour purely because it is their country after all and I choose to live here so in general I have no right to be offended by their actions. Urinating in the street is after all a common occurrence. However, perhaps rather stupidly, on this occasion given his close proximity to my wife I confronted him. A brief argument later I had him by his throat over the hood of his car. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, two passing traffic police intervened before I could rearrange his dental configuration. More arguments and general chaos followed as bystanders become involved and the general consensus was about 60/40 in the cab drivers favour. There were no other non Vietnamese present.
After things calmed down I was led off to a nearby tree and following a more rational discussion, examination of my visa etc etc and $50US 'on the spot' fine my wife and I returned to the apartment.
I guess I did something stupid and should have known better but whilst I enjoy being in Vietnam there are times when however tolerant I try to be it can get a little stressful here.
An unpleasant brush with the law.
Hahaha, good old racism at its finest.
colinoscapee wrote:Hahaha, good old racism at its finest.
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
Perhaps a longer stay here would inculcate one with virtues of discretion, tolerance and especially patience for a more pleasant life. Use your brain - you are ONLY a guest here!
Indices wrote:colinoscapee wrote:Hahaha, good old racism at its finest.
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
LSP123 wrote:Perhaps a longer stay here would inculcate one with virtues of discretion, tolerance and especially patience for a more pleasant life. Use your brain - you are ONLY a guest here!
I have a long history here going back to '73 and am well familiar with Vietnamese life. You are telling me you never loose your temper ? So, in a similar situation, you would do nothing and ignore both the sound and smell of someone urinating close to your wife without any response ?
Good for you.
colinoscapee wrote:Indices wrote:colinoscapee wrote:Hahaha, good old racism at its finest.
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Of course they will take advantage of any situation, especially the police but, being human unlike yourself, I do have a breaking point. As your tolerance in the same situation would obviously have not provoked a response from you then I bow to your superior attitude. Being somewhat inferior I reacted.
Indices wrote:colinoscapee wrote:Indices wrote:
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Of course they will take advantage of any situation, especially the police but, being human unlike yourself, I do have a breaking point. As your tolerance in the same situation would obviously have not provoked a response from you then I bow to your superior attitude. Being somewhat inferior I reacted.
Mr Vietnam falls at the hurdle.
Dude, stop talking crap and move on.
Going by your previous posts, you have to be about 70 years old. Its obvious you havent learnt anything from your vast years of residing here.
colinoscapee wrote:Indices wrote:colinoscapee wrote:
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Of course they will take advantage of any situation, especially the police but, being human unlike yourself, I do have a breaking point. As your tolerance in the same situation would obviously have not provoked a response from you then I bow to your superior attitude. Being somewhat inferior I reacted.
Mr Vietnam falls at the hurdle.
Dude, stop talking crap and move on.
Going by your previous posts, you have to be about 70 years old. Its obvious you havent learnt anything from your vast years of residing here.
67 actually.
As I already said, I congratulate your tolerance. Any man that can ignore the experience without reacting is well outside my ability. Personally I still have values, whatever country I am in. if yours no longer matter to you then I guess you are happy with that.
You instigated violence when there was no physical threat to you or your wife. On your own turf, maybe... but this aint your turf mate. You're lucky you didn't get a beating or worse.
I thought the saying goes : Discretion is the better part of valor". Or so I was taught..
colinoscapee wrote:Indices wrote:colinoscapee wrote:Hahaha, good old racism at its finest.
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:Indices wrote:
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
Brick23 wrote:You instigated violence when there was no physical threat to you or your wife. On your own turf, maybe... but this aint your turf mate. You're lucky you didn't get a beating or worse.
I respect any man that could have just sat there and ignored another man piss in front of his wife.
I can't, beating or otherwise. I have not said at any time I was in the right, but presented with the same circumstances then I have to admit I would probably have acted in exactly the same way.
colinoscapee wrote:goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
come on now Colinoscapee, that link on pissing was dated 2018, dont seem to have worked now has it?? I just come back in from running my bike from the Central Post Office to my place & saw at least 2 Grab guys having a slash in open public. This morning on my daily walk there was a guy having a slash in the park man!!! 
Thing is its a proven fact that the average Asian is not that well endowed down there either!!! you would think they would be shy to show it off 
goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:Indices wrote:
Glad you found it funny, it wasn't.
And racism on whose part ?
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
Thanks for the support.
I admit to being surprised where tolerance ends by some expats. Most have said they would simply ignore what happened. Makes me wonder how they sleep nights. Yes of course bend your values, but to abandon them altogether for the sake of an easy life despite whatever the insult is something I would rather not do whatever the consequences. Some things are just unacceptable, no matter wherever you are in the world. To not show objection is the same as condoning them and things will never change.
goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:goodolboy wrote:
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
That's funny, my wife said exactly the same 
Indices wrote:I respect any man that could have just sat there and ignored another man piss in front of his wife.
I can't, beating or otherwise. I have not said at any time I was in the right, but presented with the same circumstances then I have to admit I would probably have acted in exactly the same way.
It's not all about you... In the unlikely event that you'd "rearranged his teeth" or however you put it, and somehow avoided getting stabbed on the spot, do you think the locals would have just let that slide? No repercussions?
You put your wife at risk with your bullshit machismo.
Indices wrote:I admit to being surprised where tolerance ends by some expats. Most have said they would simply ignore what happened. Makes me wonder how they sleep nights. Yes of course bend your values, but to abandon them altogether for the sake of an easy life despite whatever the insult is something I would rather not do whatever the consequences. Some things are just unacceptable, no matter wherever you are in the world. To not show objection is the same as condoning them and things will never change.
Ahahaha, Jesus Christ
To take things worse, what if you had gotten bashed up and ended in hospital? Would your darling wife appreciate what you had done 'for her'? In life we show love, sacrifice and consideration to those that matter to us ..
Indices wrote:goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:
You have told us about your long-term stay in VN, but still dont realise that they will lie and cheat you at every chance.
The racism part, well I thought you could have figured this out for the mere fact that you got fined, he got off. Pissing in public is an offence last time I looked.
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
Thanks for the support.
I admit to being surprised where tolerance ends by some expats. Most have said they would simply ignore what happened. Makes me wonder how they sleep nights. Yes of course bend your values, but to abandon them altogether for the sake of an easy life despite whatever the insult is something I would rather not do whatever the consequences. Some things are just unacceptable, no matter wherever you are in the world. To not show objection is the same as condoning them and things will never change.
well I for one dont accept any of that crap, jumping queue at bank, at supermarket, exiting bike park, I tell them straight f off & take your fn turn in the queue. If I see them spit or blow snot from their noses onto a coffee shop floor etc I tell them straight to their face they are dirty b***ards & they dont speak English but they know what I am on!!! letting their kids run riot & annoy me at a restaurant or in my apartment lobby etc I tell them straight, OK if they are young men covered in tattoos with skin head haircuts & great big gold chains with tiger claws round their necks I might just let discretion be the better part of valor right enough
It is generally a good idea, regardless where you are, to avoid beating the merry heck out of people for random not a lot.
I'm trying to think of a country in Asia where violence against someone for a trivial nothing is a good idea, but I've failed.
goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:goodolboy wrote:
Bit like prostitution its illegal as far as I know too but men pissing in public & prostitution, never seen anyone being arrested for it.
I,m with Indices on this one, no fn way I would have accepted that without confronting him & what if the wind was blowing towards where him & his wife were sitting!!!
Just because we are guests her does not mean we should just sit there & say f all in that situation, same like gobbing up flem & spitting on a restaurant floor right next to you when eating, WTF is that about??
Best you go back and read your post asking about anyone being done for pissing. My link was to show that in fact it is illegal. Do you want me to do a search on anyone being fined for this or can you handle it yourself.
Fred wrote:It is generally a good idea, regardless where you are, to avoid beating the merry heck out of people for random not a lot.
I'm trying to think of a country in Asia where violence against someone for a trivial nothing is a good idea, but I've failed.
I personally don't think that someone taking his dick out & having a slash 3 meters from where a man & his wife are having a quiet coffee together is as you say " random not a lot" or "trivial nothing" all depends on where or how you are brought up I suppose! But where I come from the chances are you would be arrested under the public health laws for "urinating in a public place" or even worse "indecent exposure" especially if you continue to shake the drip off it for 5 minutes!
colinoscapee wrote:goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:
Best you go back and read your post asking about anyone being done for pissing. My link was to show that in fact it is illegal. Do you want me to do a search on anyone being fined for this or can you handle it yourself.
being a law & people adhering to that law is two different things, laws are in place to dissuade & enforce people doing unacceptable things, my point is that from what I see on a daily basis this law does not seem to have been taken on board in so far as men thinking........"oh no, I better not do this because if I get caught I will be in trouble" same as litter, there is a law against dropping litter in public places here but I dont see anyone giving a monkeys f**k about that either!
https://vietnamnews.vn/society/462834/h … ering.html
goodolboy wrote:colinoscapee wrote:goodolboy wrote:
Best you go back and read your post asking about anyone being done for pissing. My link was to show that in fact it is illegal. Do you want me to do a search on anyone being fined for this or can you handle it yourself.
being a law & people adhering to that law is two different things, laws are in place to dissuade & enforce people doing unacceptable things, my point is that from what I see on a daily basis this law does not seem to have been taken on board in so far as men thinking........"oh no, I better not do this because if I get caught I will be in trouble" same as litter, there is a law against dropping litter in public places here but I dont see anyone giving a monkeys f**k about that either!
https://vietnamnews.vn/society/462834/h … ering.html
No enforcement is the problem. If you can read Vietnamese, at a lot of major intersections there are signs stating the fines for running a red light. But you need cops to enforce the law and we all know what a great job the beige mafia does.
Sitting by the roadside automatically puts you in contact with the lowest classes of society (not to mention the natural elements as well as noise and air pollution) and is therefore best avoided.
Generally speaking, indoor seating with adult-sized furniture will provide more positive outcomes.
Well said, mate at least you know how to preserve your life in this lawless society!
LSP123 wrote:To take things worse, what if you had gotten bashed up and ended in hospital? Would your darling wife appreciate what you had done 'for her'? In life we show love, sacrifice and consideration to those that matter to us ..
I am happy you can live a peaceful and harmonious life without the need to protest against something that is at the very least somewhat disgusting. I guess that is why such incidents occur in the first place as there is no fear of reprisal.
Verbal assault is one thing, but when it becomes physical, things can get out of hand very quickly in Asia. If you were in Thailand, you would be in traction for the next month, as half the neighbourhood would have jumped you! I can understand your frustration though!
Brick23 wrote:Indices wrote:I respect any man that could have just sat there and ignored another man piss in front of his wife.
I can't, beating or otherwise. I have not said at any time I was in the right, but presented with the same circumstances then I have to admit I would probably have acted in exactly the same way.
It's not all about you... In the unlikely event that you'd "rearranged his teeth" or however you put it, and somehow avoided getting stabbed on the spot, do you think the locals would have just let that slide? No repercussions?
You put your wife at risk with your bullshit machismo.Indices wrote:I admit to being surprised where tolerance ends by some expats. Most have said they would simply ignore what happened. Makes me wonder how they sleep nights. Yes of course bend your values, but to abandon them altogether for the sake of an easy life despite whatever the insult is something I would rather not do whatever the consequences. Some things are just unacceptable, no matter wherever you are in the world. To not show objection is the same as condoning them and things will never change.
Ahahaha, Jesus Christ
It is curious how a simple post can attract an antagonistic response from those that claim that pissing in front of their wife would not create a reaction. I guess the anonymity of a forum provides a safety zone that allows those concerned to speak up whereas when faced with the incident itself they would bow their heads and pretend its ok and not respond. Terms like bullshit machismo define exactly your response.
I did not say my actions were right in your eyes or anyone elses, I only stated what happened.
Canman62 wrote:Verbal assault is one thing, but when it becomes physical, things can get out of hand very quickly in Asia. If you were in Thailand, you would be in traction for the next month, as half the neighbourhood would have jumped you! I can understand your frustration though!
You are perfectly correct.
I reacted when he tried to push me away which was a bit foolish of me but my response was an instant one.
In similar circumstances, although inadvisable and without time to think then I would almost certainly have responded in exactly the same way as I did.
I can understand, but getting into a violent altercation is never a good idea in Asia. I've seen some terrible beatings, and remember, the falang NEVER EVER comes out on the winning end. I'd hate to be watching over my back here. My temper is bad, but I would never let myself get into a situation like that.
Canman62 wrote:I can understand, but getting into a violent altercation is never a good idea in Asia. I've seen some terrible beatings, and remember, the falang NEVER EVER comes out on the winning end. I'd hate to be watching over my back here. My temper is bad, but I would never let myself get into a situation like that.
I agree totally and hope circumstances do not occur that initiate a response such as mine.
Indices wrote:Have had a disturbing incident this morning that almost got out of hand...
First of all, the situation as you described it DID get out of hand.
Having read all comments and your replies so far:
You do seem to have described "BS Machismo" so it doesn't need to be said as a judgement against you but rather an assessment based on your good writing skills.
There is a reason (ok, many reasons) why Vietnam is not a popular spot for a supermajority of returning visits.
Because you do have experience here going back to 1973, I'm frankly surprised that you became so outRAGED.
You do know you are describing rage and not simple anger?
Is your wife Vietnamese?
I can't recall if you ever mentioned that.
Anyway, based on breadcrumbs you've dropped in your previous posts, I'm wondering what your sponsor has to say (though I don't expect you to break that confidence).
If I took something like this to my sponsor, he'd first encourage me not to get intoxicated.
Then he would point out that just because I'm not intoxicated, idoesn't mean I'm sober.
I think some of us are trying to help you refrain from magnifying your rage/anger as you are seeking out like minds who would react in a similar manner.
I hope you get a good night's rest tonight.
OceanBeach92107 wrote:Indices wrote:Have had a disturbing incident this morning that almost got out of hand...
First of all, the situation as you described it DID get out of hand.
Having read all comments and your replies so far:
You do seem to have described "BS Machismo" so it doesn't need to be said as a judgement against you but rather an assessment based on your good writing skills.
There is a reason (ok, many reasons) why Vietnam is not a popular spot for a supermajority of returning visits.
Because you do have experience here going back to 1973, I'm frankly surprised that you became so outRAGED.
You do know you are describing rage and not simple anger?
Is your wife Vietnamese?
I can't recall if you ever mentioned that.
Anyway, based on breadcrumbs you've dropped in your previous posts, I'm wondering what your sponsor has to say (though I don't expect you to break that confidence).
If I took something like this to my sponsor, he'd first encourage me not to get intoxicated.
Then he would point out that just because I'm not intoxicated, idoesn't mean I'm sober.
I think some of us are trying to help you refrain from magnifying your rage/anger as you are seeking out like minds who would react in a similar manner.
I hope you get a good night's rest tonight.
Thanks for the comments.
I don't have a sponsor and am not usually easily provoked, I know and accept my place as a foreigner here. I simply relayed an incident that happened this morning without meaning to either justify or apologise for my actions. I guess there were many factors involved that prompted my response, the fact that my apartment yet again had no power, general irritations elsewhere and the fact that impolite and quite unacceptable behaviour can sometimes build without realising it.
I reacted when after protesting verbally the taxi driver pushed me away. The initiation of physical contact and my disgust at his actions when he could at the very least have moved a little further away was probably the ignition of what I have already admitted was my irresponsible response. Whilst I may regret the incident I cannot say with any honesty that, given the same circumstances, I would not react exactly the same again. In answer to your question my wife is Vietnamese and her 6yr old niece had just joined us for breakfast. I cannot claim however that their presence prompted my actions as they were purely responsive.
As for looking for support I have no interest in approval from expats or anyone else. What happened happened, I was simply reporting it. If that is not the point of a forum then I apologise for posting it and will refrain from further comment.
Thank you for your report. You posted it on a forum. There are still many kind souls around who after reading it, offer to sympathise or emphatise with you. Most are males and we offer comments and suggestions that you may be more cautious and aviod such rage behavior in future. Isn't that what humanity is all about? After all when its a case of 'locals vs foreigners' in Vietnam, guess who wins? 500 dongs for correct answer..
LSP123 wrote:Thank you for your report. You posted it on a forum. There are still many kind souls around who after reading it, offer to sympathise or emphatise with you. Most are males and we offer comments and suggestions that you may be more cautious and aviod such rage behavior in future. Isn't that what humanity is all about? After all when its a case of 'locals vs foreigners' in Vietnam, guess who wins? 500 dongs for correct answer..
As stated to OceanBeach I will refrain from further comments.
Indices wrote:LSP123 wrote:Thank you for your report. You posted it on a forum. There are still many kind souls around who after reading it, offer to sympathise or emphatise with you. Most are males and we offer comments and suggestions that you may be more cautious and aviod such rage behavior in future. Isn't that what humanity is all about? After all when its a case of 'locals vs foreigners' in Vietnam, guess who wins? 500 dongs for correct answer..
As stated to OceanBeach I will refrain from further comments.
I understand your frustration as this forum can turn into a trolls kingdom. Based on the comments, I just have a few responses:
1. No matter where you are in the world, any man urinating in public that close to my family, yes, I would have said something as well. Why? It is irrelevant that it is VN or common in VN, it is disgusting and extremely disrespectful and those who do it, know it (i.e., why there is a law against it, but not enforced).
2. If the person physically touched me, I would have done something similar and defended myself, period.
3. The nonsense of BS machismo is just that, BS. Any decent human being would defend his or her family, after getting physically assaulted, the question is to what extent is necessary. Those who don't, well, I don't have to say as we know. For example, I have VN brother in laws in VN and I have seen them respond much more forceful in similar situations and they were not even provoked.
4. The ignorant who claim "this is not your turf" is just that. You live in VN and it has been your home for a long time. Thus, this is your turf just as much as anybody else who makes VN their home. It would be no different if a VN family lived next door to me. I would never insult them and tell them "you can't do this because this is not your turf". They are not visitors, tourists etc., it is their home and where ever you make your home, it is your turf, period. See my comment above, even those who would state it is their turf, locals know it is wrong and defend their family.
5. Food for thought, maybe it is the inaction of people that explains why VN is still a 3rd world communist country.
vndreamer wrote:Indices wrote:LSP123 wrote:Thank you for your report. You posted it on a forum. There are still many kind souls around who after reading it, offer to sympathise or emphatise with you. Most are males and we offer comments and suggestions that you may be more cautious and aviod such rage behavior in future. Isn't that what humanity is all about? After all when its a case of 'locals vs foreigners' in Vietnam, guess who wins? 500 dongs for correct answer..
As stated to OceanBeach I will refrain from further comments.
I understand your frustration as this forum can turn into a trolls kingdom. Based on the comments, I just have a few responses:
1. No matter where you are in the world, any man urinating in public that close to my family, yes, I would have said something as well. Why? It is irrelevant that it is VN or common in VN, it is disgusting and extremely disrespectful and those who do it, know it (i.e., why there is a law against it, but not enforced).
2. If the person physically touched me, I would have done something similar and defended myself, period.
3. The nonsense of BS machismo is just that, BS. Any decent human being would defend his or her family, after getting physically assaulted, the question is to what extent is necessary. Those who don't, well, I don't have to say as we know. For example, I have VN brother in laws in VN and I have seen them respond much more forceful in similar situations and they were not even provoked.
4. The ignorant who claim "this is not your turf" is just that. You live in VN and it has been your home for a long time. Thus, this is your turf just as much as anybody else who makes VN their home. It would be no different if a VN family lived next door to me. I would never insult them and tell them "you can't do this because this is not your turf". They are not visitors, tourists etc., it is their home and where ever you make your home, it is your turf, period. See my comment above, even those who would state it is their turf, locals know it is wrong and defend their family.
5. Food for thought, maybe it is the inaction of people that explains why VN is still a 3rd world communist country.
I much appreciate your rational and honest response.
Here is another possible solution to the situation. Have your Vietnamese wife to speak to the owner of the coffee shop, threaten to never come back, and let the owner confront the taxi driver.
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