I was looking over a menu posted on a stand outside Houlihan's Bar and Restaurant last night .. when a young guy sidled over towards me.
"Can you help me out?" he asked in English.
I don't encourage street begging .. and said to him, "I don't do this on the street."
The refusal didn't deter him. Nor did the fact that I was giving him zero eye contact and was still positioned to read at the menu stand.
"I don't want money," he said. "Just food."
"I already said no," I said in a low-key voice, still looking at the menu.
"You F&#"in' A%#&@#," he said in a North American accent, invoking the F-word and the A-word in his cursing. "Why don't you go back to the States!"
I glanced over at him to make sure there was no weapon at his disposal. There wasn't.
In a loud voice as I held my ground, I called out past the outdoor-area diners and toward the main section of the restaurant:
"¡Seguridad!"
Two seconds later, the mouthy cobarde slinked away. I didn't see him again.
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What if any mistakes did I make in the above encounter? What could I have done differently?
i thought about this and put a new strategy in place when I was next approached by aggressive beggars, which happened in another part of the city tonight.
cccmedia
Aggressive Panhandling
The first night's incident turned out as I would have hoped -- no physical confrontation, no engaging with the beggar once he started in with the cursing.
Still, there had been cursing and concern.
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Tonight, one night later, I was waiting at an outdoor table for take-out sushi I had ordered at a restaurant in a different part of the city.
Two women beggars approached and asked me something unintelligible in Spanish, clearly looking for a handout.
Instead of saying something to them that might seem like a bargaining position (such as the aforementioned "I don't do this on the street"), I simply responded, in a low-key voice, "no".
When this pair then revealed themselves as aggressive panhandlers by not moving on and still waiting for a handout, I employed a different strategy this time.
I stood up, backed away several feet at the outdoor table .. then headed directly into the restaurant, signaling my displeasure at the situation to the hostess .. with my facial expression.
The hostess gave the women a look .. and at that point they moved on.
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I much prefer the second strategy to what I did earlier.
It reduces the discussion to practically nothing .. and minimizes IMO the possibility of an escalation by aggressive beggars -- no cursing, no exposure to a potential weapon or assault, support if necessary from the restaurant staff, and physical distance between me and the intrusion.
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This thread invites your opinions and strategies for dealing with beggars who don't take your first 'no' for an answer.
cccmedia
Second reply was best. I have had similar situations, and after saying no I go on with my life like they don't exist, cannot hear another word they say.
You never know if the beggar is really in need or is just looking to get money for drugs or alcohol. Well, I guess the latter is a "need", too, but you hate to feed that need...
If I'm walking I just say no and keep moving. If you are somewhat cornered I like the second approach the same as mugtech.
I've been with members of my wife's family and sometimes we'll buy them food, for instance if we're already seated at a restaurant and someone approaches who is clearly in need - but almost never give them money. It's a judgement call, because there really are poor that are on the edge of starvation. There are at least as many though for whom this is a way of life, and personally I don't think it should be encouraged which is what giving them money ends up doing.
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