I know there was a post on here a while back about info on visiting NZ, but stuffed if I can find it again, here's some latest info.
ADVICE FOR NORTH ISLANDERS (AND OTHER VISITORS FROM OVERSEAS)
Rules for visiting the South Island are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a Ute because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are sheep. That's why they smell like sheep. They represent wool & food to us. Get over it. Don't like it? SH1 goes north, find it
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $350,000 tractors that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the South waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and duck. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of duck season. It's a religious holiday, we will observe it!
9. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
11. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Watties Tomato sauce!
Oh, yeah We don't care what you folks in Ponsonby call that stuff you eat. IT isN'T REAL CHILI!!
12. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. High School Rugby is as important here as the All Blacks, the Highlanders and the Crusaders and a heap more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards it spooks the fish.
15. Turn down that bloody car stereo! That thumpity-thump cr@p isn't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Southerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!