Your 10 best tips to make friends when you're abroad

To get to know locals:

1. Learn the  language ASAP
2. Visit the local watering hole
3. Invite your neighbors for a drink and/or a meal
4. Visit local sports matches
5. If you have kids, invite kids their age over to play - you'll get to know their parents

To get to know other expats (if that's what you really want...)

1. Become a member of social clubs (your fellow countrymen might have a national club)
2. Once in the club, become a board member.
3. Find out where expats of your and other countries hang out and go there.
4. Become a member of business associations
5. Organize a international expat party in your place

People at work are often the first people you meet when you're abroad.  To make friends at work:

1. Invite your colleagues for a drink at the end of your probation period, and bring them a taste from your country

2. Play football (or any other game) after work

To know locals:

3. Learn the language and the local expressions. It helps to understand the local way of thinking.

4. Ask cultural-oriented questions. Compare with your culture, and learn to appreciate the difference. 

5. Be open minded to a different humour. You may not understand at the beginning,  you'll appreciate with time

6. Present yourself to your neighbors

If you have kids:

7. Gary's n°5 is perfect

If you're young, with not that much money:

8. Find a flatshare

In general:

9. Find yourself activities: participate to associations, play music in a band, practise sport ...

10. Go out as much as you can!

1. Have kids!
2. Join a theatre group.
3. Do some outdoor activity eg sports
4. Don't spend so much time on the internet!

;-)

Go to all the local village festivals in the summer.

I haven't got 10, at least without repeating what's already been posted...

If I could just add one, it would be to keep a good balance between the number of expat and local friends you have. Although it's inevitable that you will meet and click with other outsiders, it is worth making the extra effort and investing more in developing friendships with locals. Expats are transient, but the locals will always be there.

Find a group that is involved in some kind of activity you enjoy.

To add to the great lists already posted, be transparent and vulnerable:  ask your neighbors/colleagues how to do something, or where to find something.  If you go overseas with all the answers, why go?  Rely on the locals for a few things, and friendships develop very quickly when the locals can help you get around.

1. Get a dog (or volunteer to walk your neighbour's)
2. Join a toddler playgroup (preferably with your own toddler!)
3. Go to embassy social functions (you can also meet a lot of locals there surprisingly)
4. Volunteer
5. Smile more
6. Try and speak the local language, even badly (?)
7. Start a conversation by complimenting friendly looking strangers (this actually works for me! I've complimented people on things as mundane as their baby strollers, unique handbags, children's hairstyles, accent, asked what dishes people are sampling at the next table, etc)
8. Join or Start a club - based on your hobbies, interests
9. Go to church, mosque, temple, etc
10. Be yourself, but smile more (!)

One thing that has helped me is to be more open-minded about meeting people. I suppose this helps in meeting friends and new people in any situation, but it is more heightened in a completely new situation. Don't always try to find the same kinds of people you are friends with back home.

Also, while it is very rewarding to become friends with locals, other expats can offer a wealth of support to one another. Being in a common situation helps, and in my experience expats are very willing to help one another out, make introductions, recommend employment, etc.

My top 10 things in making new friends in a foreign land. For both locals and expats.

1. Smile often. Im letting them know that I am friendly and approachable. I want to show them good aura.

2. Start a small conversation. Whether it could be "Hi" or "Hello.." just as long as they will feel that you are trying to get along with them.

3. Expressing your interest. Should it be an expression of wanting to know the person or wanting to learn the culture, show it. It may really look awkward sometimes, but most of the times it works well. You may want to say some local language but your pronunciation is wrong, some local people will laugh at you. And if they do, laugh with them. I did that many times and it works well. Local people thinks that when a foreigner tries to immitate them (I mean, in a positive way) like speaking local language, they find it cute and amusing. Learn things from them that interests you.

4. Be visible. Always show up. Pay a courteous visit to a local friend or family. When invited, try to come, as possible as you can. And sometimes, if you can, invite them over to your place, or if not possible in your place, then at some other place. Mingle with the people. Don't be a loner.

5. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Learn their customs, ways, and traditions that are very important for them and if possible for you to do, learn to do it.

6. Show them what you've got. It may be the right time to showcase what you got. You may have some talent or ability that may amuse them. Speak your mind. Show the goodness in you.

7. Don't be (too) finicky. Be reasonable. Some locals may opt to eat on banana leaves and you wanted to eat on a china plate. Dont treat yourself as a VIP when hanging out with them. When you really can't eat what they call an "exotic" dish, tell them honestly BUT politely.

8. Hang out with them. Play some sports with them, have a night-out with them, drink with them, socialize with them.

9. Show them that you are an interesting and amusing person.  Let them know your strengths and weaknesses and vice versa. This way you can form an alliance to become friends.

10. Just be yourself. Nothing beats showing them who you really are--good and ill manners alike, and not in pretentious living.

Flickr is a good way to meet locals who obviously enjoy doing the same thing as you ... photography!

Nice tips! It takes time to get the hang in there!

Perhaps this is for younger people, but the best way to get to know people is to work in a bar for a while. Then bingo! instant social life.

Go to Church, either to an expat=in your language one, or to a local one = one in the language of the country you are living in ;-) I do both ;-) SY

In my country travelling in a bus or taxi also helps. you will surely sit next to somebody. then Look around for something (an event ect) to ceate a topic with. First present it in the form of a small joke. it will definitely be a starting point to more discussion. Be careful not to present yourself as belittling the other person because that on its own can ruin your entire day.

Hey see these tips to make a new friend....interesting...

1.Be always with pleasant smile, it attracts people and  they 
  come and approach you for all.
2.Try to speak in their local language (probably if you
  properly)
3.Invite your neighbors for lunch/dinner. If you not trained
  cook, then leave this idea ….it will get into problems.
4.Celebrate your birthday and with colleagues and neighbors
5.You get a friend easily when you help someone who's in trouble
6.For festivals, say wishes and send Greeting Cards.
7.Arrange for party at home or any restaurant
8.Join in Social Club, you will make lot of friend and spend
  time usefully
9.Keep your communication channels open. Don't sit back relax
  and expect lasting friendships to occur
10.Accept people the way they are. Unnecessary fault finding
  each and every individual will not work if you want to make   
  new friends.

My additions:

Be seen on as many local / regional events as you can manage.
Try to do this regular, specifically the ones that interest you (concerts, exhibitions...). You will start to be noticed and subsequently spoken to / with.

Markets are a great place, not just to buy local but to get known and talk to fellow customers. In rural areas they are as much market as they are an opportunity to meet.

If there are local services, like the bread van, gas man, fish monger, etc coming round, try to at least buy of them every now and than. Word travels fast and far....

Ask and/or observe your neighbors, how they go about things, where they shop, etc, etc.

I think it has been mentioned - throw a party - first 6 month or first year - pick a good time - here in Galicia Spain - tapa time about 7pm - works well, allows curious "vecinos" to drop in and stay or excuse themselves after a while. One more tip about a party: Mix local and your national or acquired dishes thus guests have a choice.

Martin

I suggest, choose an development activity that you can make yourself busy. In my case, I chose to learn Arabic language and lawn tennis, and I used to frequent in sports areas.

join a dance class....

Im living in brussels and it is very hard to make friends one because im not working i gave up my job and move here with my boyfriend and very hard to find and job when u dont speak one of the languages.

Hi There !!

Thanks for the great tips guys !

Blogging and forum posting in the blogs and forums of specific place will also help to get friends.


Thanks & Regards
Annete Duffel

In no specific order, these are the 10 tips that first came to my mind:

1. Go out! It is unlikely to get potential friends knocking on your door.

2. Be friendly (obvious)

3. Talk to people in the streets, in your office, at the shops, in the bus, you never know where a friend could be.

4. Join a club, dancing lessons, conversation groups, artcrafts courses, gym, sports team, church, etc.

5. Do volunteer job. There is always loads of possibilities around and it is a nice way to get to meet people and do something good for your community at the same time.

6. Learn the language and practice it. People tend to appreciate if you try to talk to them in the local language even if you're not very good.

7. When in Rome... Be considerate about the local customs and habits. People might not appreciate if you try to impose your own ways. Remember that you are the one seeking the international experience, not them. Having said this, don't try to hard, be yourself!

8. Find out if there are other expats or people from your home country around.

9. Introduce yourself to neighbors.

10. Take advantage of the internet: blogs, forums, tweeter.

Here are 10 tips....hope they help someone

1. Decide that you want to make friends
2. Keep an open mind to cultural differences and learning
3. Search your local newspapers for activities that interest you
4. Learn the language or lingo
5. If you are not working get a volunteer job
6. Search the internet for similar minded groups
7. Find expat groups in the local papers or on the internet
8. Remember that others want friends to so you are not alone
9.Join a sports club
10. If you have children get involved in school activities

Kama

thanks guys for tips. I'm starting to smile, visit sport clubs (and work hard to make children ) to find some friends here.

Join CouchSurfing! Nearly every city or town has a presence, and its members get together for events, road trips and pub nights. Even if you never surf (ie: stay at someone's house), its a fantastic way to meet both locals and other travellers.

don't say that I am French to avoid prejudices

1.  Do a course at a local adult learning centre - learning a musical instrument - clay modeling - art - math - another language etc..

2.  Enroll on a university or college course of some sort....

3.  Find a good pub quiz and see if you can join a team....

4.  Join a drama group.....

5.  Go to a holiday resort in the UK.....

6.  Go on a wine tasting day  - there are loads around the UK

7.  Go to Ibiza (Not San Antonio!! Shit hole)) and hang out where there are other brits (easy to meet on holiday) - Or to somewhere like Lindos in Greece (not Falaraki - also a shithole!)  Lindos is lovely and lively and a great place to meet English people in May, June or September.

8.  Become part of a focus group for market research purposes.  The usually meet regularly and there's a chance you can get paid.

9.  Find a good club and hang about the Kebab shop next door at about 2am

10.  Get involved in a charity event like a marathon, poker event, children in need, comic relief etc...

And one for luck.  Go to a 3 or 4 day festival in the summer, you'll meet loads of people!

Lots of great tips in this thread!

My additions:

- Note how local people socialise, and where they like to meet up.
For example, when I was in Beirut, it was all about the nightlife, so I went out a lot and just struck up random conversations in cafes or while waiting in line to get into a club. Here in Vancouver, sports and outdoor activities are where it's at, and I made my first local friends while cheering on the neighbourhood rugby team every Saturday.

- Become a regular at your favourite cafe, community centre, etc.
You'll feel more comfortable, people may be more open to talking to you after seeing you a couple times, and if you befriend a staff member, they can introduce you to other people.

i dont think all above will work in Malta..Here better to visit st'julien. That is the more crowded place

If u r in India just say hello to ur colleague or closest person u have and all will be fine

Reading this stuff makes me hope most of you guys are good loners and can get by on lots of TV. Because from experience most of the stuff you suggest does not work.

And if you still survive it is because you are a true ex-pat.

cvnuttee > what would be your advice to make friends ?

Julien, you are very kind to ask how I would suggest making friends.  For me it has been really hard to make friends in my Paris suburb because my french is not very good.  I have some hello type friendships at the school but nothing more.  I have heard from other people that the french school system is pretty impersonal and its not expected to make friends amongst the parents which is the norm in US schools.  Also a big city atmosphere in the Paris area I heard that its easier in smaller towns to make friends through school.  People are keep to themselves on the playground also.  So its not easy via your kids.  A lot of ex-pats go to private schools and with everyone being an ex-pat have a much different experience. 

It's hard to make friends at work in Paris as most people travel fairly long distances by metro so visiting is not spontaneous and kind of a heavily planned event because of the distance, has been my experience although I have work friends.  Than joining local clubs it just takes a tremendous amounts of time to get to know people even in the US this way and that is very random that someone might live near you.  I can not seriously imagine a foreign person to be the leader of a french association in France as they have so many specialized rules.  Anyway, its definately not easy.  The few friends we have are our past neighbors who are sweet and a few old friends of my husband.  Nothing like I had in the US.

The American Associations is very good but a bit expensive for events and are mostly for people who have a lot of time either non working women or retired people as they have activities often during the day for kids and moms.  My biggest success has been an english speaking book club that meets once a month.  Anyway, as an ex-pat I have to say that it just takes a long time and not as easy as meeting people in the US.  Strangely the American church in paris has been a great resource for friendships but to be honest its kind of hitting bottom for me to go to church for friends. 

Most French people are used to seeing people on on the weekends and the more formal relationships at work and school.  Its just has been an adjustment for me coming from the US where it is much more easy to swing into easy going friendships on the playground or at work.  I have seen those meet up type groups and gone to a few but its always different people and rather expensive to drink two coffees and pitch in the the meet up cost so its not that interesting.  And lastly maybe 12 step groups if you have any issues because at least the attendence might be regular.  Is my guess.

Sorry to have sounded negative in the last email, its actually what I wrote has been true for me.  Its just more formal here and a big city.  I think it just takes a lot longer than we might think and so the ex-pat needs a strong reason for staying in the foreign country. Whatever that reason is.

Moving anyplace new is hard even if it is from one part of the US to another.   My good friend moved from the southwest to new england states and really had a tough time with the difference in attutudes.  It took her a long time to adjust and she was still very upset after three or four years and missed the southwest tremendously now it has been over twenty years and she has accepted being in new england.

Anyway, my point it that all moves are hard to adjust and make new friends and lives and it is more complicated in a foreign country thats for sure.

i have only one tip .............try to live with yourself ...love silence and lonliness..........

Buy a Harley Davidson..it alwasy works when making friends....

haha, rather expensive way and maybe more passing admirers.  although a funny thought.

Wow, you actually have loads of great tips how to make friends. And I can only agree. I have done loads of things without even realising that this might be how I made friends. After two weeks in the country, I had already made some friends. It was just amazing. I hadn't thought about how long it might take. Still, I thought two weeks was pretty quick.

So, yes, be yourself, smile and be open-minded. I didn't actually make any friends at uni because things are a bit different on my course. It's made up of people who are here for their MA course only and they're all going back home in May. I'm not really friends with them anyway. So that isn't much of a problem.

I do share a flat, too. But this is not where I made friends. I'm still convinced that it is a great way of meeting people. Student accommodation, I guess, is just a bit unnatural in the way that you have first-year students who are more interested in enjoying their new freedom than anything else. I moved out of my parents house about four years ago. So I'm sort of past that stage. But still, if you're in your first year at uni and others are as well, I'm sure you can make friends. Maybe I'm just getting old...

I found that getting involved in your community works quite well. I like my city. So that definitely helped. I didn't necessarily go to make friends only. I wanted to try and make a difference in my community. And I happened to meet loads of nice people at the same time. They are all locals. So that definitely helped me settle into life here very quickly. I got involved with an organisation that keeps our relations with our twintowns. And now I'm actually a real part of it.

Then, if you're into politics, joining a party could be a possibility. I'm not sure how useful this tip is if you're going to spend just a few years in a country as opposed to making it your home for good. Obviously, it also depends on which country you're in, among other things.

Volunteering is brilliant to meet people. I felt that it helped me develop even closer links to my new hometown. I've called it my "new" hometown because that's what it was at the time. Now that I've lived here for a little more than seven months (wow, time flies, I'm just realising), it doesn't feel new anymore. I like this place.

I guess sports clubs and things like that are great, too. I haven't had a chance to try that yet. But I definitely want to once I'm less busy (my exams are just two weeks away).