The mother doesn't want to pay.

nope.

you really picked a winner with her.

/sarcasm.

I see. But what can I do ? I can't force her to pay.

If the kids are living full time with her and she doesn't work….. well then…. Easy maths.

@Quiona

Unfortunately i do not know what you CAN do and what you are willing to do.

its an unfortunate situation for the kids. they are most effected.

Your question seems to be based in very little practical experience in PH.

What difference would it make if she DID work?  How much money could she make?  And child care while she worked would cost...

You might decide to stop paying,  You could say, bring the kids to me.  I will care for them, but NOT you, OR your boyfriend...  But then you would be saddled, with the kids...

I am a filipino and work in Saudi. I earn 35k a month. I pay for my father because he is sick and for my sister. I also pay for the kids of course. And i would like to go to the university, so i am trying to save.

The mother worked in the past with her boyfriend. They earned 30k. But she didn't want to give anything to the kids. She always wants me to pay. She says it's normal because i am the father. And now she stopped working. I love my kids and i am happy to give them what they want. But i think the mother is not fair.

Then if I were you, I would half the amount you pay to her for a couple of months and see what happens. I bet her and her boyfriend spend most of what you send.

Also - ask her for a breakdown of what she spends on your kids and get her to produce receipts if you think appropriate.

"She replied my duty is to give money and her duty is to take care of them and she doesn't understand why she should pay. Is she right ?"

-@Quiona

I would suggest to make your contribution preferably to a reliable family member (your mother/brother/sister in-law) for them to use the money you send to take care of your children with (receipts/photos) to show for it.

It's always a sad situation when the kids are the ones whom will be the most effected.

They are your kids. You helped make them so you have a responsibility for their welfare.

Your Ex also helped make them so she has a responsibility for their welfare.

Your Ex is now with another man. Her new man is responsible for her welfare.

It's not your kids' fault that you broke up from your ex. IMHO you ought to provide reasonable support for them. You certainly have no obligation to support your ex's new man.

Provide wisely.

@BassMan_720 agree... I also agree to have a trustworthy relative... uncle or aunt handle the allowance and care... to give money to her and boyfriend, for sure you are supporting all of them.  How much are we talking anyways? How many peso a month??

I think that we do not have the full picture here. Why has your ex and her boyfriend stopped working, who looked after the kids when they were working and where do they live now. Are they in your house or maybe her new boyfriends, are there any housing costs, have you increased your payments since they stopped working, so many questions and things to consider.

@Guest8982

Quiona. . . .why are you now Guest8982?

@Guest8982
Quiona. . . .why are you now Guest8982?
-@Enzyte Bob

Who is Quiona?

Hello Enzyte Bob,

Profiles named Guest/GuestPoster followed by numbers are deleted profiles.

Yoginee

Expat.com team

Hello Enzyte Bob,
Profiles named Guest/GuestPoster followed by numbers are deleted profiles.


Yoginee
Expat.com team
-@Yoginee

So does the number 8982 have any meaning? There is a reason I ask.

So does the number 8982 have any meaning? There is a reason I ask.
-@Cherryann01

Hello,

No they are are just a bunch of random numbers

Yoginee

Expat.com team

I tried to change my username and can't work out how to do it. It seems I need to email expat.com and make a special request. How did Guest 8982 manage this?

Sometimes when a random newcomer posts a question, without other significant engagement with the site or conversations with regular members, without a picture or self-description - well, i think it's posted by one of the mods trying to generate a conversation.

Don't get me wrong, some of the topics are interesting, but there's a bit of a pattern it seems.

Hello gsturdee,

Thank you for your input.

I tried to change my username and can't work out how to do it. It seems I need to email expat.com and make a special request.

You can email me at [email protected] and I will do the needful for you

Sometimes when a random newcomer posts a question, without other significant engagement with the site or conversations with regular members, without a picture or self-description - well, i think it's posted by one of the mods trying to generate a conversation.

This is unfortunately not true. We do not create fake accounts simply to create new topics or to generate engagement. The last topic created by one of our team members is this: Inflation in the Philippines in 2022.

The rest of the topics have been started by other members just like yourself.

Cheers,

Yoginee

Expat.com team

@Guest8982

I would say your getting a deal. Let her take care of them unless you want to take care of them and try and get her to pay. One thing, they are YOUR children. If you pay, you need to be part of their young developmental years unless your some kind of dirt bag that should just go away and use some knot hole in a fence for your libido...  Just sayin'

Omo....you mentioned 30k salary for the new couple (X partner and her new boyfriend) which appears close to your own current OFW 35k salary with which you claim is sufficient in taking care of yourself/father/sister and your children?

Sorry for being rude but you just leave your home/children/father/sister/partner and a future university study plan all for ONLY this extra 20k salary than what you could be earning here?...to me that makes no financial sense.

Maybe you should just come back home and with your OFW experience & look at ways of taking better care of your loved ones.