Clearly announce your plan to move abroad
Don't beat around the bush; speak clearly about your expatriation plans with your teenager. Make sure to explain your project well. By staying vague, you will only scare them. How will you motivate them if you don't know where you're going? However, don't impose a ready-made plan or surprise them with a "Guess where we're going tomorrow!" Your teen will want to ensure your plan is solid: you'll have a job abroad, a home, and enough income to maintain your lifestyle.
Schedule regular discussions
Upon the announcement, your child might feel a mix of joy (especially if they often travel with you) and worry. This ambivalence can last for some time. Plan regular, open-hearted conversations. Take the pulse from the announcement: does your child have many questions, or are they brooding? Let them express their emotions. If they internalize too much (especially if you notice worrying behavioral changes), discuss it neutrally with them—no judgment, only respect and tolerance. Seek professional help if communication becomes difficult.
Decode your teenager's emotions
It's not easy to put oneself in another person's shoes, and the teen period is a pivotal one. They are no longer children but not yet adults. Your teen needs more space yet also needs your presence. Moving abroad can be stressful. It doesn't mean they're against the idea, but they might struggle to integrate it into their daily lives. Instead, they may feel "absorbed" by this significant project. Understand their emotions to help them better. How do you usually communicate? Is your teenager outgoing or introverted? Find ways and times to talk. Don't improvise: show them you prioritize time for them.
Consider their world
You might think travel excitement will outweigh your child's fears. Be careful not to trivialize their activities, passions, and social circle. Do you think their daily life is less important than yours? Unconsciously, parents sometimes incorporate their offspring's lives into their own. This might work when the child is small, but the older they get, the more they need their space. This space must be valued and respected. Your expatriation project should consider your teenager's life: are they involved in a music, singing, or sports club? Are they dating someone? Do they have best friends? Don't underestimate the impact of moving abroad on their daily life.
Involve them in the preparation
Your teen is old enough to understand the less glamorous side of moving abroad: administrative formalities, back-and-forth trips to the embassy, and interminable waiting times. Keep the most stressful parts to yourself and present this phase in a playful way. Explain the differences between visas and make the project tangible for them. Show them housing options in the host country, introduce them to various schools, and ask for their opinion. Involve them and let them pack their bags.
Listen to their needs before departure
You've announced the news to your child, and now they have to tell their friends. Offer your help. Do they want a farewell party, and if so, at home or outside? Offer assistance without imposing it. Give your teen time to process the situation. For some, moving abroad can feel like a form of grief: leaving their life, even for a few years, can be challenging. Their friends will be valuable support, and their words might reach your teen where yours have not.
Anticipate their needs in the host country
Is your teen currently involved in a club (sports, music, drawing, theater, etc.)? Can they join one in the host country? Discuss with them whether they want to continue their activities or explore new ones. They can try to balance both. Familiar activities provide reassurance, and discovering new ones is a great way to envision a new life abroad.
Pay attention to your teenager's first steps in the host country
Ideally, arrange meetings with your teen's future teachers (high school, university), the school principal, or anyone who can provide information. How will your child be received? This is especially important if you arrive mid-academic year. Pay attention to their first impressions. What do they think of the school? Similarly, look at leisure clubs they might join. Are they making friends? Contact foreigner welcome associations (even before your arrival).
What about the language barrier?
Does your teen speak your host country's language? What about you? Knowing the host country's language is a significant advantage, allowing you to leave more confidently. If you need to learn the language, start as early as possible. Motivate your teen, but be considerate of any reluctance. They might see this as a punishment: you're not only forcing them to move abroad but also choosing a country where they don't speak the language.
What if your teen doesn't want to or can't travel?
A teenager's life is already well-established. It's not always possible for them to leave everything behind to follow your plans to move abroad. For instance, if they're pursuing a sports-study program or intensely practicing an activity, they might not keep up with competition schedules while living far from their club. It's also uncertain whether they could join a similar club abroad.
Your teen might simply not want to come. Consider this possibility before announcing the news. How will you react if they genuinely don't want to follow you? Don't shut down, but show understanding. Find a solution based on their age, education, and available options. Can they live with family? Do they want to finish the academic year and then join you? Do they prefer to complete their education and join you only during summer vacations? Everything is up for discussion. It's better to stay than to leave reluctantly—for both your teenager's and your own well-being.
