Fooled by foreigner?

Zanchun, its not about working to get rich, often its just about surviving. But for your information I always did travel for women I loved, for relationships I wanted to explore. Maybe 10 times Ive done that.  My point was that very often women treat the trip like its nothing, like its so easy, and if the guy wont go fast it means he is a liar or insincere and im saying its not true.

This trip im making next month, its not for anyone, just for myself, and yet it took a long time to plan and figure out. Would you say i was insincere to myself, for my own trip, just because I couldnt do it fast?

About 5 years ago I chatted a Viet woman for a few days and she asked me to come to Saigon the next day, after all I was just next door in Malaysia. I said its impossible, today is Thursday and you want to me come tomorrow Friday? I cant do that! And right away she thought I was a liar and insincere. Cmon.

YES, if people are chatting for a long time and pretend to be making plans but never do them, yes i would agree something is wrong. But using myself as an example, things are just as easy as they seem and it doesnt mean insincerity, thats all.

Zanchun...i completely forgot something. If you look in my passport you will find two unused Viet visas. I booked trips to meet women who i thought i knew well and invited me to come.  It was trouble but I did everything and after i got the visa, after i booked the flight, after i booked the hotel, they cancelled the trip at the last moment. TWICE this happened. Why did they cancel and ask me not to come (and on the day before the trip when im packed and ready to go out the door)? Why did they say "oh, sorry this is a bad time, maybe another time. Bye." Each time I lost all that money on the arrangements. Who fooled who?  How do you think I felt?  Maybe we should change the title of the thread.

Wanting, dreaming, pining for something is not the same as reality. I booked the trips, i was sincere. Maybe they were married and liars, maybe they couldnt bravely face the reality that they dreamed about. I dont know. Online life breeds all this.

Thats why they made up the saying, "be careful what you wish for because it might come true."

So I stopped thinking about Viet women and this trip now is for myself.

Cvco: sorry to hear that! I hope you will be lucky in the next time (I always said this to my students when they fail the exam  ).
I think the women you loved didn't really love you. So, it was lucky for you because they gave up soon, and you lost time, lost some money, but if you got married with them, maybe you would lose much money (1/2) and even your life !
Go ahead! Good luck to you!

cvco wrote:

Zanchun...i completely forgot something. If you look in my passport you will find two unused Viet visas. I booked trips to meet women who i thought i knew well and invited me to come.  It was trouble but I did everything and after i got the visa, after i booked the flight, after i booked the hotel, they cancelled the trip at the last moment. TWICE this happened. Why did they cancel and ask me not to come (and on the day before the trip when im packed and ready to go out the door)? Why did they say "oh, sorry this is a bad time, maybe another time. Bye." Each time I lost all that money on the arrangements. Who fooled who?  How do you think I felt?  Maybe we should change the title of the thread.

Wanting, dreaming, pining for something is not the same as reality. I booked the trips, i was sincere. Maybe they were married and liars, maybe they couldnt bravely face the reality that they dreamed about. I dont know. Online life breeds all this.

Thats why they made up the saying, "be careful what you wish for because it might come true."

So I stopped thinking about Viet women and this trip now is for myself.

plenty of fish .....

cvco wrote:

Zanchun...i completely forgot something. If you look in my passport you will find two unused Viet visas. I booked trips to meet women who i thought i knew well and invited me to come.  It was trouble but I did everything and after i got the visa, after i booked the flight, after i booked the hotel, they cancelled the trip at the last moment. TWICE this happened. Why did they cancel and ask me not to come (and on the day before the trip when im packed and ready to go out the door)? Why did they say "oh, sorry this is a bad time, maybe another time. Bye." Each time I lost all that money on the arrangements. Who fooled who?  How do you think I felt?  Maybe we should change the title of the thread.

I would have turned both of these trips into trips for myself and not lost any money

cvco wrote:

Why did they cancel and ask me not to come (and on the day before the trip when im packed and ready to go out the door)? Why did they say "oh, sorry this is a bad time, maybe another time. Bye." Each time I lost all that money on the arrangements. Who fooled who?  How do you think I felt?  Maybe we should change the title of the thread. .

I think you had met women married already, and they just want to check how attractive they are. And when they knew that you would come to visit , they would be scared of meeting you.I'm so sorry for you.
You would lose your money even you come to VN or not, why wouldn't you have a vacation trip for yourself, might be you would meet some other nice girls such as ngatt, Quynntr ...

Actually, your situation and Quynntr's girl friend is different. Your case is about Online love. Quynntr's girl friend is about one side love.

I hope you will meet your ideal girl friend soon. Maybe your love is just around you, when your fate comes, you will find the one ! 

Ok guys.....yes....i knew I could just go and have the trips anyway. But at those moments, if not going to meet the women, id rather stay and work. Being a pure tourist in a place I didnt know at all....well think about it....you go and youre alone with no plan or reason or purpose to be there and all the time youre thinking that you are supposed to be with that someone and its going to put you up one step on the ladder of misery. Then you'll wish you werent there at all. Those moments, I had to choose--waste the tickets or come back having felt wasted time. I chose. It was the classic "between a rock and a hard place." Either way it SUCKED and all my friends were saying go! go! go!  lol nah..........

This time....wow it feels great. I planned this whole thing for myself. Its work, errands, purpose, a list of things to do. No pressure, no expectations, no dependency on what someone else will do or not do, no nothing. Mind is clear and calm even though i dont know a thing about VN or Saigon in particular--which wont be true after the trip.

But expats could advise me about one thing. I said before in one of these threads that in 15 years in Malaysia i only bumped into two expats. All friends were locals from the first day. This time, and I dont understand it very well, i have no desire to meet any local but feel the urgency to talk to expats. There are about 10 of you here i really want to meet but not one local. What changed? Why is that?

@cvco:
Im Vietnamese. You'v cheated by VNM woman not mean all of them are the same. You telling story sounds like Viet womans are *bitches*

I dont know what was happened with you but atleast you should know here is Vietnam forum, many Viets here, respect them make people more sympathize with your stories.
Are you come from Malaysia? I've been in Malaysia 2 years ago, one man robbed my wallet on the street, can i say all of you guys in Malaysia are robber?

zanchun wrote:

Love is blind. Your girlfriend is blind now

I doubt that "he is still single at 38"...

There is nothing at all strange or unusual about a person from the west being single at the age of 38.

zanchun wrote:

A real man will overcome long distance to meet one he truly loves

Real men have jobs.

I think your friend needs to step back and think of what she is doing, This is a big step quitting her job and going to another country. Has she thought of what will happen when she finally arrives and he can`t see her because he is too busy?.
I wish your friend all the best

Craig

QuynnTr wrote:

@cvco:
Im Vietnamese. You'v cheated by VNM woman not mean all of them are the same. You telling story sounds like Viet womans are *bitches*

I dont know what was happened with you but atleast you should know here is Vietnam forum, many Viets here, respect them make people more sympathize with your stories.
Are you come from Malaysia? I've been in Malaysia 2 years ago, one man robbed my wallet on the street, can i say all of you guys in Malaysia are robber?

What are you talking about? Nobody said ALL are the same, in fact I didnt even say any bad words at all. Only you did.

Sorry you take offense at any unhappy news involving your countrymen. Its funny, would you have written the same post if I paid flowery compliments? When speaking of two happy incidents would you have accused me of saying ALL Viets are nice and sweet and that I shouldnt say such a crazy thing? Would you?

As for the other replies, I think you didnt see that there were replies and that they were good and thoughtful. Except yours. The others understood and got the point. You didnt.

Malaysian? No im not, sorry your insult didnt work. But robbers? Yes tons.

cvco wrote:

.  Each time I lost all that money on the arrangements. Who fooled who?  How do you think I felt?  Maybe we should change the title of the thread. .

Thanks for your idea about change the title of the thread. You said Viet womans are not the same but you want to change with ur opinion? I saw your comments in other topics are same about "Viet woman in your stories".
You can create the new one to express your feeling, we dont taking about "bad experience with Viet gf" here.
You are the only one dont understand the different between your girl and the girl we talking about here.

Quynn TR, my post was appropriate as contrast to any women who say "the foreigner fooled me" because women also can fool others and my post defends those others, like me. Its not all one way, its a mix. I used myself as an example to say i didnt fool any Viet woman (but I was fooled) and I stuck to the thread. It was appropriate discussion. There is no need at all to start another thread on the same topic but thanks for your suggestion anyway.

What I see is that you are looking for a fight or a problem here and there isnt one. Just skip it now and move on

cvco wrote:

What I see is that you are looking for a fight or a problem here and there isnt one. Just skip it now and move on

Did i? 

I know that kind of woman you met everywhere in the world, just i think itsnt good idea to say Viet womans are bla.. bla.. because it was your ex. I'v studied and worked aboard for a long time and i always proud to say im VNM.

Anw thanks for your sharing.
Goodluck to you next time.

QuynnTr wrote:

cvco wrote:

What I see is that you are looking for a fight or a problem here and there isnt one. Just skip it now and move on

Did i? 

I know that kind of woman you met everywhere in the world, just i think itsnt good idea to say Viet womans are bla.. bla.. because it was your ex. I'v studied and worked aboard for a long time and i always proud to say im VNM.

Anw thanks for your sharing.
Goodluck to you next time.

I didnt say Viet women were bla bla anything. I didnt even insult them, just said what happened. Did you actually read the post? Or maybe you misunderstood my meanings.

Im sorry that anyone fools anyone, wish it didnt happen. But even then its not always fooling, just things happen that changes the situation and there is nobody to blame for it. In the case of my post, i didnt even blame the women, just said I felt bad.  A guy promised to come to VN and didnt? Doesnt mean he was married and lying about it which is how all this got started.

Fooled by Foreigners is probably the No.1 topic among friends i know. Its not mine. I have one friend who has such a mixed up life involving foreigners she is probably the flaming billboard for the only opinion i have which is online is most likely not the best way to fall for someone.

zanchun wrote:

You would lose your money even you come to VN or not, why wouldn't you have a vacation trip for yourself, might be you would meet some other nice girls such as ngatt, Quynntr ...

Hmmm, I am very strong, so sometimes I am a hot woman (opposite of "cold woman"  ), not nice at all !

@Cvco: last Sunday, I met some guys/girls in Expat Gathering. They are very friendly, and very nice. I hope you can join with us next time. I really want you find some good friends in Vietnam. I hope you will change your mind about Vietnamese women after you see some good girls/women here.

When you dont expect anything, maybe you can get something well . Like me now, I had everything and I lost almost things in this year. Now I even dont hope or expect anything. But I feel happy with my freedom life now .

ngattt wrote:

zanchun wrote:

You would lose your money even you come to VN or not, why wouldn't you have a vacation trip for yourself, might be you would meet some other nice girls such as ngatt, Quynntr ...

Hmm also has a very lovely smile.m, I am very strong, so sometimes I am a hot woman (opposite of "cold woman"  ), not nice at all !

@Cvco: last Sunday, I met some guys/girls in Expat Gathering. They are very friendly, and very nice. I hope you can join with us next time. I really want you find some good friends in Vietnam. I hope you will change your mind about Vietnamese women after you see some good girls/women here.

When you dont expect anything, maybe you can get something well . Like me now, I had everything and I lost almost things in this year. Now I even dont hope or expect anything. But I feel happy with my freedom life now .

Ngattt also has a very lovely smile 

hihi,  i like your post

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

hihi,  i like your post

eodmatt wrote:

Ngattt also has a very lovely smile 

Dear Matt,
I didnt know, why did you know  ?

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

hihi,  i like your post

Hmmm, you liked mine, or Matt's or Zachun's or QuynnTr's or Cvco's post  ?

Hihi, honestly speaking, i like all because everypeople have good reason.
i read many your comment, you seem like foreigner man than vietnamese man. hehe 

ngattt wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

Ngattt also has a very lovely smile 

Dear Matt,
I didnt know, why did you know  ?

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

hihi,  i like your post

Hmmm, you liked mine, or Matt's or Zachun's or QuynnTr's or Cvco's post  ?

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

ngattt wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

Ngattt also has a very lovely smile 

Dear Matt,
I didnt know, why did you know  ?

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

hihi,  i like your post

Hmmm, you liked mine, or Matt's or Zachun's or QuynnTr's or Cvco's post  ?

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

Hihi, honestly speaking, i like all because everypeople have good reason.
i read many your comment, you seem like foreigner man than vietnamese man. hehe 

Hmmm, I am a Vietnamese woman. Did you see my avatar ?

ngattt wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

Ngattt also has a very lovely smile 

Dear Matt,
I didnt know, why did you know  ?

thanhnguyen11 wrote:

hihi,  i like your post

Hmmm, you liked mine, or Matt's or Zachun's or QuynnTr's or Cvco's post  ?

Ngattt, I know because you always post smileys with your words :     Like that!

Nam_ wrote:

zanchun wrote:

Love is blind. Your girlfriend is blind now

I doubt that "he is still single at 38"...

There is nothing at all strange or unusual about a person from the west being single at the age of 38.

zanchun wrote:

A real man will overcome long distance to meet one he truly loves

Real men have jobs.

1. I agree that West men still single at 38 is popular. They prefer to have a girl friend than getting married. They have a freedom life, no constraints, marriage troubles.

2. Real men have jobs. I agree too . However, If he only works all day, days after days, earn a lot of money. But in the future, when he'll pass away, will he bring his money along with him ?
I don't know much about West men thinking. But in my opinion, real men should spend time on both his job and his family ( or his lover ).

It is a story in the past, my company had a big project, I was 500 km away from my lover. My girlfriend was a student and she had summer vacation at that time. It was at the weekend, we had to work over time and I got home late on Saturday. I suddenly missed her so much, and I decided to get on a bus to her hometown in that night. After 8 hours travelling, I finally met her, we had a great Sunday then. Later, I went back to my city at Sunday midnight. And I went to work 2 hours late. I was scold by my boss . However, I was very happy then. Just a story of mine . Now, that girl is my dear wife.