Moving to Indonesia solo

Except for a few places, Indonesia is generally very safe for everyone. That doesn't mean a single woman is 100% safe, but she's going to fine unless she wanders off into dodgy places at night. The rules are about the same as anyway - Use your brain to stay safe.
That also applies to men.

I wasn't single but I was excited.

Housing varies just like any place. It starts at cheap shared places called Kos and moves up to a penthouse suite or a villa. Prices are just as variable.
Rules -
If it's priced in US Dollars, it's illegal and aimed at the clueless.
Check the water and electricity supply.
Try to visit when it's raining so you can see if the roof leaks
One year rental contract or less - never 2 years or more.

I moved to a tiny village - It was pretty great and the people were very friendly. The bigger the town/city, the more impersonal it gets

The only expats moving to Indonesia will be workers, retired people, or people joining their wife/husband. The official paperwork is a pain in the bum but use it as an opportunity to get to know the local officials. Friends in the right places are invaluable.
I suppose people on a 2 month (max 6 month) sosbud could be called short term expats - Shop around for agents' fees - they also vary.

First morning - Visit an Alfamart or an Indomaret so you can work out what you should pay for what - That'll save you getting ripped off.

Download the Go-jek app - It's really handy - You'll see when you download it

NEVER give money to beggars at traffic light or where ever. Apart from being illegal, getting cash out in front of such people might very well be dangerous.

Rents - You will normally be asked to pay one year in advance AND a security deposit.
Make sure you keep water and electricity bills (If you don' have a pre-paid electric meter).
If you have a prepay. make sure the number is easy to read - You can top up using the go-jek app

Anyone moving to Indonesia needs 4 apps on their phone

Go-jek (Grab in some areas - maybe both)
Google translate
Google maps
Whatsapp - (Pro. way R). People don't ask for your telephone, mobile, or cell number, they ask for your 'nomber way R'

My stories and information are about "living" in Bali and greater Indonesia Regardless of how long you stay, there is a takeaway from what I have to say.

A common question I get asked by Indonesians is why. Why would I want to live in their country? I'm from rich first-world America. They are from a poor, developing nation. What could be the attraction? It is a good question.

I'm going to tell it like it is.

You can draw your conclusion.

Making mistakes goes without saying. We all make them. Try and learn and move on. Reversing a course is not always so easy in a foreign country. Having said that it's hard to impossible to imagine what life is like in a country halfway around the world.

Today, you can Google search for everything. And take into account all the positives and negatives you can find and make an assessment. But, there is nothing better than the reconnaissance mission. Visit first before you move. Examples of people who come for employment. A research project or invited as VIP do not need to worry about the same unknowns an expat faces.

I moved to paradise in 2011.

Years before there were Bali-related Facebook community pages. Blogs, Vlogs, videos, music, and writing festivals. Before the 2020 pandemic.

All I had to go by was alluring photos of green pristine rice fields. Colorful Balinese dressed up in their exotic ceremonial costumes. Wikipedia. One old National Geographic documentary. Lonely Planet Guide. And the Hollywood fictional memoir romance story, "Eat, Pray, Love."

I did read Gilbert's book and by coincidence lived next door to where the author lived in Ubud.
The new airport was constructed in 1969. Remodeled in 2013. The Internet arrived in the late 2000s. A new 2nd International airport under construction in North Bali. Then toss in several new theme parks on the drawing board. The island zoomed from the 19th to the 21st Century in about 25 years. From that moment on Bali changed forever. What will become of Bali in the 21st Century? It's anybody's guess but the warning signs of overbuilding and pollution are alarming.

Rest assured. Whatever track Bali was on will return after the pandemic is gone or under control.
I relied more on what I was being told by expats who had lived there for a long time. I had never met the expats in person and our connection was they were musicians and I was a professional agent. Before I left for Bali, they signed a representation agreement with me. I thought I was being pragmatic and organized.

Beyond the musician's sketchy details, my research needed a serious fact check. I hadn't a clue about what Bali was like. Life in a country that was, in essence, a different universe. A decision based on photos and words from strangers.

I was going there to live, not a travel journal backpack trip.

I was a late 50s Baby Boomer. A victim of the 2000s Great Recession over 50 out of work club. Having lost my job and been unemployed for over two years I faced homelessness. Lacking other options, I sold my home, for half of its original value, to a young immigrant couple. They came to America for a better life - the same reason I was leaving it. I was about to find out what it meant to be an immigrant, only in reverse. In an act of soup line fear, I booked a one-way ticket to Bali, Indonesia.

Everything that added up to the past 50 years of my identity was liquidated. Each item I lost felt like a butcher chopped off a part of my body. My suitcase was full of bloody fingers and toes.

Contact with my adult daughter would become a challenge. Then there was the even more frightening prospect of losing a reason to want to live. My beloved cat, Boo Boo, was adopted by my daughter. Anything I couldn't carry, except my guitar and luggage, went with me.

There was a sense of freedom in jumping off a cliff. The unpredictable winds of change fingered my hair. The smell of lightning over a rice field, the hunger for a dream over the sacred smoke of 10,000 temple fires. A flute in my head played and filled the canyonlands of my skull. An ancient melody that sounded like how a runaway boy once saw his life outside a bus window.
I was crazy in a sick society.

The jet was somewhere over the pacific before it dawned on me this was happening. I watched a sun that didn't set. I accepted a red wine from the flight attendant and began to gulp down the reality of where I was headed. All I knew about Bali was from a yoga musician I knew who lived there. He said it was cheap. Until I had a better idea of where I was going, it was a type of cheap that I could swing for a while. The trip was going to take at least 27 hours. I would arrive a few days before Christmas in an alien world. I had plenty of time to sit there and stare out the airplane window. Push the rewind button flashing on the tiny screen in my hand and wondered if I was making the right decision?

Welcome to Paradise

My next three years in Ubud went like this.

In the first months. I suffered from an incurable problem with dysentery. After many attempts seeking help to no avail at the local clinic. I finally cured myself with an anti-biotic.
I went through several mishaps with unscrupulous expat landlords. Who made the hard to deal with Balinese look like saints. I dislocated both my big toes from slipping on the wet rock leading to my villa door.

In Bali, New Year is called Nyepi. I vomited so bad from something I ate that night. I passed out and lost my memory for 24hrs and woke up in a 3rd World hospital.

One truth was that the villa rentals were cheap. But the owners would never repair them expat or Balinese alike. I listed half my villa on the (Indonesian illegal) Airbnb site and managed to almost break even on my rent. Everybody it seemed was in the illegal housing rental game. If I had a dollar for every Life Coach and Yoga instructor card pushed into my hand for a rental discount I'd be rich.
My best friend was an expat strung out on the Bali moonshine called arak. A woman struggling with cancer who was also in the villa tourist rental game lived next door. My small friendship network wasn't from a lack of effort. The expats I met came from every corner of the planet were tribal and into things that didn't interest me. Or shook me upside down to see what fell out? The Balinese were looking for more than hanging out. As a consequence, I spent a great deal of time alone. That's not to say anyone was wrong. If you can't transcend it move on.

My two musician expat clients disappeared and I learned they didn't have a work Visa in the first place. Contracts are worthless between foreigners on the island. Like the lawlessness of the Wild West or Pirates of the Caribbean.

I also entrusted the locals more than the expats because, for the most part, I knew where they were coming from. If you had a notarized contract with a Balinese you stood a chance it honored.
The area outside of Ubud where I lived was going through a burglary wave and I slept with a knife under my pillow. I thought to build a small villa of my own. I gave a local the money to do it and he ran off leaving me a semi-constructed building. Many months and dollars later, I finished the villa. My first rental guest was raped and murdered by a bandit in it. Not only did the young school teacher lose her life but I almost ended in prison over the matter.

Even though I had nothing to do with her death. The land owners charged me US 1,000 to cleanse my villa of evil spirits. Also the police wanted a whopping US 21,000 fine. The reason. The guest or I failed to report her passport at arrival.

During my years in Ubud, there were many good times too, I can't complain. My daughter visited and I met a couple from my hometown in the USA who helped me edit my book. Both had a good time. But the bad parts never would have happened in my former home.

Not all visits or expatriation end in mistakes in Bali of course. My mistakes some I can write off as happenstance but others I own. What happened to me is in no way to suggest that it will happen to you. The takeaway is to prepare for the unexpected. Be flexible, adaptable, patient, and learn the ropes. Without knowing the language your chances of long-term survival are not good. You will need help.

Bali has succumbed to bad planning and regulation. Which has led to pollution, overcrowding, horrible traffic, chaos, crime, and frustration. Another word for it would be "greed."
Parts of the island are better than the others.

Areas of Bali's capital Denpasar featured anything goes. Prostitutes, penis trinkets, rowdy bars, drunk tourists, and a lot of hustle. But to be fair. Mixed in with the bad there are nice shops. Restaurants, festivals, and people of all races trying to earn a living and get along with each other.
The image of Bali being a paradise remains tattooed in the minds of unknowing foreigners. My friends think I've hit the big time living there! Every year a new wave of expat dreamers splash ashore and as many float away on a life raft. The turnover is dizzying and makes it hard to care who anyone is. Many expats established successful businesses in Bali. I am one to believe they started long ago when everything was much less expensive. And competitive. Some grew, the right place at the right time like the Yoga Barn and Ubud Readers and Writers.

Since the dawn of time, people have dreamed of paradise on Earth. Those places include Atlantis, Xanadu, Shangri-La, and recently, Bali.

Get your selfie

Toilets lack soap and toilet paper. Packs of wild, rabid dogs abound. Restaurants lack inspection. Dengue and typhus are prevalent. If those things don't get you a python in your kitchen cupboard or a drunken tourist on a motorbike will.

Once you get out of the city you might find a spot where you feel the only person on the planet. Many of the locals are wonderful. If you open your mind to it there's a lot to learn like Gamelan music, Balinese art, dance, temples, and Hinduism.

Chill out and take in a local jazz band. You can live with a straight romantic partner without a problem but if Gay?

Unlike non-tourist areas on other islands. There's no limit on alcohol and the sense of false freedom is so intoxicating it corrupts the mind.

A Balinese man saved my life and if it wasn't for his help I would have died or disintegrated. A Balinese editor published my writing in a local magazine. Many other locals went out of their way for me in ways people from where I came from would have never done. I was also fortunate to meet an Indonesian woman. Who although couldn't speak English moved in with me and saved me from being an owner of a lonely heart and prison.

What's left of the lost green jewel of Bali. Can be best seen from the balcony of a private 5-Star luxury hotel and a guided tour in your air-conditioned car? The more adventurous can find parts of the old Bali and befriend a loyal local friend. It's out there. You have to dig harder to find it.

Indonesia - the improbable nation

First, there are other important facts to know. The island is part of Indonesia. And although Bali has certain self-Governance. It is under the thumb of Jakarta in the world's largest Muslim majority country in the world. What does that mean? Like anywhere. There are national political issues. Local issues to contend with and some can affect you so read their local media. You can learn a lot more from their media than someone's travel blog. Try the national Jakarta Post.

According to World Data Indonesia is a developing nation. 25 million Indonesians still live on less than US$1 per day. Indonesia is now the sixth country of greatest wealth inequality in the world. The four richest men in Indonesia. Have more wealth than the combined total of the poorest 100 million people. The average life expectancy for men is 70 years old and for women 75 years old.

With that in mind, consider extreme poverty is your neighbor. And any time the haves walk beside the have-nots that desperation can lead to trouble. Not only in Indonesia but anywhere.

Indonesia is the world's fourth most populous nation. The world's 10th largest economy. An emerging middle-income country. Before the pandemic, Indonesia had made enormous gains in poverty reduction. Cutting the poverty rate to more than half since 1999, to 9.8% in 2018. The Indonesian archipelago has 17,508 islands, (3,181 mi). From east to the west containing the most volcanoes of any country in the world. Over 300 different native languages. Six religions are official. Islam, Protestantism, Catholicism, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Confucianism.

The last time the Government counted in 2017 the population was an estimated 264 million.
Indonesia is also the second-largest user of Facebook in the world.

Do not assume the Indonesian elite class does not care about the struggle of others. One Indonesian wealthy musician donated money to my daughter's liver transplant fund.

In Indonesia, there is no Civil Rights protection for foreigners. Don't worry about your personal freedoms. You don't have any. Keep your VISA updated and don't drive a motorbike into a swimming pool. Selling drugs will lead to standing in front of a firing squad.

The house I funded for my wife, I can't own. Regardless of a prenup agreement that states joint ownership, on divorce, I'll never get my day in court. Many foreigners holding such documents can argue otherwise. I wish them luck.

Do not make negative comments about their politicians, police, and military on social media. An innocent remark about the Mosque being too loud can land you in jail.

Ready to pack your bags? Remember, " if you don't like it, leave," (local encouragement).
As a developing nation, there are long lines and traffic congestion everywhere. Patience would be an understated quality an expat needs to survive in this country. Besides the fact, you can't drink the water. And there is no proper waste disposal. The exception a truck might pick up the rubbish and dump it somewhere in the jungle. The neighbor next door might burn their rubbish with no concern where the smoke goes.

On the road it's risky, there is no insurance, and accidents settled on the spot.

The wires loop above the street corners like dangling spaghetti noodles.

One city is nondescript as the other. If the product is in demand one street will sell the same item in triplicate. A local will be waiting for you to sell a ticket to see a waterfall.

There is little regulation on anything except narcotics and Visas. And if you're living on Jawa with an Indonesian woman you'll need a marriage book. All sales are final. Getting a repairman may take days.

Appreciate their pride and don't complain.

Want to stay for good? You can but for a price. There is no immigration path. You must renew your Visa forever regardless of your situation.

Health care is by western standards questionable. It's better or worse depending on where you are. As an expat you can buy the Indonesian public health service called BPJS. But don't expect too much except a long line and if you're lucky you will be okay. Keep in mind that Indonesians who can afford it go to Singapore for their health care needs.

International Health Insurance

It is expensive! You're up for $4k - 6k per annum for reasonable family cover including medivac for seriously complex surgery.

A not well-known fact is Indonesian doctors can sue you for defamation. You can do nothing. There's no such thing as a liability. Remember, as I've said before be careful what you say and who you say it to.

Misdiagnosed twice for skin cancer. The Doctor/University Professor recommended that a plastic surgeon fix it. The dentist took several trips but they finally got it right. A crown cost me USD 75.00 In America, it would be USD 1,000.

I hope whatever is wrong with you, they have the experience and technology to handle it. If you call an ambulance it will take an hour or longer to arrive. In some cases, the ambulatory service can ask for a video in advance. Depending on the time of day and where you are before they arrive and then there's the journey to the hospital. The traffic tries to yield to emergency vehicles sometimes they can't. There is no place to go.

If for no other reason than health care. Indonesia is a questionable choice for expat retirement. Compared to their home country. Expats refer to how much less the cost of living is. But, there's a reason why it's cheaper.

Do you want to raise your children in Bali? I see that question a lot on Social Media. If you're seeking advice and opinion from strangers. Look before you leap?

Bali Education

At last count 2021, 20 schools offering foreign curriculum were operating in Bali. Special focus schools like Australia. France, International Cultural school, and the expensive famous dream school - Green School. Look before you leap?

School: is expensive! For a top quality international school - you're up for $15k - $20k for something that barely matches public school options in Australia (which are close to free /tax payer funded). There are options for $5k - $8k but there are issues like having to move down a class level or others - needs careful checking.

Dealing with the Government

The bureaucracy: anything involving dealing with government agencies (visa's, permits, licenses, business registrations, school enrollments) can be difficult, often takes time, patience and often many unnecessary steps in a process. For me I learnt patience and acceptance, allowing me to be happy, but I observe many expats who struggle with that contributing to their dissatisfaction. You usually have options to do processes yourself which is very time consuming or paying someone to help which can get expensive.

Greater Indonesia

After three years in Ubud, Bali I moved to Yogyakarta aka Kota seniman, (the city of artists). Yogyakarta, (central Java) is a place with more than 3,000 artists. 300,000 University students call home. Jogya for short considered to be the heart of Indonesian culture.

Besides the horrible traffic, Jogya is everything Bali is not. It's quiet, low-key, and the locals are halus (soft) in manner. The hustle and bustle of tourists were gone. The ones seen were not the same drunken, obnoxious, selfie tribe that litter many of Bali's beaches and bars.

Jogya (the city) is an urban experience filled with art galleries and artists to go with them. I befriended many. The housing was cheaper than in Bali. I liked the vibe and being able to walk for much of my needs was a bonus.

Living on a remote Bali rice field had its meditative moments but it grew tiring. I itched for mingling, conversation, company, a sense of being "here" and a new leaf to turnover.

If not for the few women wearing hijabs. I noticed no difference between the Balinese Hindu and Jogya majority Muslim. Except there was a Mosque versus a temple. If there had been underlying bad feelings between the two religious groups in the past. It appeared that tolerance replaced it?
My list of Indonesian friends grew into the hundreds and I felt more connected. I met many artist celebrities and business tycoons. I visited every temple, theatrical, musical, and beach the area had to offer. I was making regular trips to the urban jungle, Jakarta. Hanging out with Indonesian music celebrities.

Two years passed, I felt I accomplished a lot in Jogya but I saw the end of the Jalan. My wife was tired of being in tow of my wandering and wanted a home. The compass pointed to her hometown called Pandaan in East Jawa Timur.

Pandaan is a small town nestled between two mountain ranges. A small town that employed many of the locals in foreigner-owned shoe factories. What I would describe as "sweatshop" shoes built for a dollar sold for hundreds of dollars abroad.

About two hours to the south is the largest active volcano in Indonesia, Mt. Bromo. The city of Malang, and Batu, and to the north, about two hours is Indonesia's second-largest city, Surabaya. Another two hours to the east lies the ocean. And the heart of Javanese magic, the Dukun Santet in Probolinggo.

Outside the town, the mountains are pristine and feature quaint villages. Next to poverty are two professional 18 hole golf courses. Resorts with horses, and many hotels. Located about 10 minutes from my wife's village on top of the mountain tourist resort area called Tretes.

My village or kampung called Plintahan. Consists of 1,000 friendly locals. Poor, but resilient and generally happy and kindhearted. The average income for most Plintahan villagers is about 1 USD-10 per day. There are no social means programs so you are on your own to survive. The family relies on each other. A job is hard to come by.

Tuti's uncle is 107 years old and the rest of her family live in villas connected. With the help of neighbors. She built a nice townhouse-sized home on family property for approximately USD 20,000. In Los Angeles, CA I figured the same two million dollars.

My House in Plintahan, Pandaan East Jawa Timur (photo by Author)The Plintahan community news was announced by loudspeakers from the local Mosque. Guns are illegal. There are rarely arguments between neighbors. Each family contributes to a community chest to cover the expense of (2) all-night guards. Trash pick up, and funerals. To get by many borrow money from the community chest, their employer, and if possible a credit company. In other words, they're all in debt. I am also one of the only people who can afford an Internet connection and air conditioning.

One of many village celebrations in Plintahan (photo by Author)I am the first white person to live in Plintahan. The locals referred to me in humor as "bule kampung" (white villager). As such the notoriety has made me a local celebrity? I have participated in many weddings and funerals.

They're honored that a foreigner wants to be part of their community. I did feel marooned in this world far from my Minnesota former home. I had no like-minded community. The reason, for the most part, is language. Not knowing the language will alienate you. To test my theory try and live with a spouse that can't speak English!

Indonesians are polite but it's more of an auto-response. For example, the Japanese bow. It's an ancient traditional courtesy but that doesn't mean they're your new best friend. Making a lasting friendship with an Indonesian takes time and is often earned. In America we can cold call or reach out to people we don't know and try to connect. In Indonesia, you need to meet in person and build a relationship. Something involving money to their benefit always helps.

Where I am there are no libraries. Except for school books, many do not read. I had my book Guitarlo translated into Indonesian. To my delight many Indonesians from other parts of the country liked it. My wife tried to read part of it, stopped in shock, and asked, "Are you a terrorist?"
The indigenous music of dangdut blasts from the speakers of many Indonesian homes. Weddings, and celebrations. If you can sing or play guitar learning a dangdut song can help make you popular.
Indonesians love humor!

Check out the young, Australian Vlogger, Londokampung. His silly language-based, prank videos made him rich. Another foreigner leveraging the Indonesian language for notoriety and money. Vlogger, Sascha Stevenson. Sascha has been a long-time expat and paid her dues as a teacher turned media celebrity. I tried to make a prank video using the Indonesian language. These Vloggers are another example of the power of language. Unlock it and a new world will open to you. The Vloggers could never make money like this in their home country.

Do you want (3) wives? Yes, it's legal if you claim Islam as your religion but you need the blessing of your first wife.

How much does it cost to live in Bali/Indonesia?

My lifestyle revolves around my retirement pension, USD 1,665.00 per month. You can Google the current exchange rate. With that amount of money, I can afford the items listed below. Needless to say, budgets vary according to lifestyle and always change.

If you have a major health disaster. It could wipe you out.

The left column is rupiah and the right is USD. I have an estimated disposable income without calculation of all the prescription drugs. A trip to America or elsewhere, as well as my Visa expense, which is a KITAP. The cost for a KITAP is approximately USD 430.00 for (5) years (East Java Timur price). A work VISA costs USD 1,000 and is also good for 5 years. In Bali, I was paying USD 1,000 per year plus a trip to Singapore for a retirement VISA. I still ended up broke every month before payday.
By common Indonesian standards, I am well off.

I hope you do have more money than me! Note: the villa is now paid off. My total monthly estimated Indonesian living expense is USD 550.00! per month - 2021. For an extra USD 17.00 per month. I could add the cost for the BPJS Health Insurance.

My Indonesian expenses

I can get a 90-minute full-body massage in my house for less than USD 5.00. Great haircut for less than 50 cents. Almost anything was repaired for cheap. Local restaurants are also inexpensive. My motor scooter aka "rice rocket" costs USD 1,200 new and uses (1) tank of petrol per month. Train, bus, taxi, pacek, or plane domestic transportation are low-cost. A beautiful resort swimming pool rents for USD 2.50 for the day.

Can't break your western diet? The food prices will set you back because it's imported. A cheap bottle of wine will cost USD 27.00. Not to mention the variety of foods in markets (depending on where you are) limited. What do the locals eat with an income of USD 75.00 per month? Tofu, Tempeh, egg, chicken, Ikan Asin (cheap fish), gado-gado, sayur sop, pezel, nasi goreng, and rice. Plus, add chili sauce! BTW - rice costs 4x more per kilo in Bali.

And those prescriptions? It would be helpful if you could enter a search on an Indonesian website. See if your medication is available and the dose. Often the dose is not the same and your medication is not available.

Other items like smartphones. Computers, TV, and other electronic gadgets cost the same as America. Automobiles cost the same as 1st world economies too. Across the board, not everything in Indonesia is less expensive. Housing, labor, motor scooter, and locally made goods a definite yes, but anything else?

Other considerations - the expat factor

Familial and friend Dislocation

Accepting the fact that not everyone where you came from is going to approve or care how you live. Names like "runaway" and subjected to attitudes. Including what I am doing is irresponsible, somehow bad, or selfish. Much of this response is jealousy and ignorance-based. Ignore it. So many have had dreams that will never come to fruition. When they do see the few who have they look for negativity? To each their own.

Living near a Mosque

Consider that Indonesia is the largest Muslim population on Earth. If you have an issue with that better decide to live elsewhere? Except for Bali, there is a Mosque everywhere. (5) Times per day the Mosque broadcasts prayers that can be heard from afar so whatever you do. Don't complain. To complain is considered blasphemy and you can go to jail for it or worse. If you listen to some of the prayer singers, they are both talented and wonderful to listen to. The din of many praying amplified is quite moving. A fine example of the power and importance of religion in Indonesia.

Change

Indonesia is ongoing. An ever-evolving nation with laws and rules often changing today. There is a lot of misinformation online and non-updated Government websites. Tourist photos can be deceiving. Opinions vary. When you're on the outside looking in it's hard to figure out. When you're on the inside looking out it's still hard to convey.

Poverty

Indonesia is a poor country. Poverty is agonizing and even with the thickest skin, the pain will sink into your heart. If you are insensitive to the lives of have-nots you should choose a different home.

Adjustment disorder

Adjusting to an alien culture takes time. Go with the flow or end up talking to The Castaway "Wilbur" the painted soccer ball.

I ain't got nobody that I can depend on

Self-reliance is a big part of living abroad. It is also a cultural trait of being Indonesian. Even if supported by many we are all alone in the world. This can become magnified in a foreign country. Where language and cultural differences are to the extreme.

Conclusion

No matter where you try and live the grass may always appear to be greener. Your new life abroad will come down to what you can tolerate. Letting go of modern conveniences. Ease of access. Adaptability. The trial and tribulations of a new set of cultural mores and language. Entitlements, and the fact you are now the stranger.

Living abroad will test you to the breaking point. If you survive you'll remain if not you'll pull your hair and scream. It's not easy to live in a place where English is not well known and laws are Draconian. The reality you are familiar with turned upside down.

To survive and find happiness abroad, you must give up some of your beliefs, mores, way of life. A part of you must let go as you deal with things you do not agree with but must tolerate. This is not easy to do. It takes a strong will to change. A part of you will be gone. Few can deal with that.
The expat experience has rewards but it's not for everyone. And remember, appreciate Indonesian pride and don't complain.

Sampai jumpa (see you soon)

guitarlo wrote:

My stories and information are about "living" in Bali and greater Indonesia Regardless of how long you stay, there is a takeaway from what I have to say.

If you aren't a professional writer, may I be so bold as to suggest you consider taking it up as a career.

Toilets lack soap and toilet paper

This is something westerners commonly can't get the hang of. I recommend keeping a pack of antiseptic wet wipes with you at all times. Once you get used to the hose you find it's a far better option as it's cleaner and is heaven on piles, but that doesn't look after washing your hands. A good rinse with water is a start but, if there's no soap, the wet wipes are good news.
If you really can't get into the hose, it's back to the wet wipes again.

A common question I get asked by Indonesians is why. Why would I want to live in their country? I'm from rich first-world America. They are from a poor, developing nation. What could be the attraction? It is a good question.

I have the honour and pleasure of Indonesian citizenship but a lot of people ask me why I wanted to change.
The explanation is long and complicated so I just tell them there's no winter here but amazing sambal.
Whilst the above is true, there's a lot more to it.

I jaunted off to get a new passport last week, the immigration people expressing shock at this white bule renewing his passport. Security kept trying to lead me to the foreigner area (even when I was , and the guy checking all the papers just couldn't grasp why I didn't want to return to what he sees as a land of golden opportunity.
If they only knew

Do you want (3) wives? Yes, it's legal if you claim Islam as your religion but you need the blessing of your first wife.

4 in total, but that's officially frowned upon and can be an issue with government jobs. However I met 2  teachers in South Kalimantan and a shop owner in Wonosobo with a brace of wives each.

As a divorcee, I can go for the full 4 if I'm feeling fit and rich enough. All of your wives have to be treated the same so that's not going to come cheap. However, you can just have one house, or even just one bed if all are happy with that (but it would have to be a big one).

Chill out and take in a local jazz band. You can live with a straight romantic partner without a problem but if Gay?

Very good point. My one, only, and hopefully last visit to the south of Bali (Unless someone pays me to go) saw all the crime you mentioned and a lot more.
I'm assured things get a lot better once out of Kuta.
I met a lesbian tourist couple who were sharing a hotel room with no issues but I gather they didn't advertise their particular interests in the hotels.
As for gay men, staying in the same room might well raise a few eyebrows.
Homosexuality isn't exactly popular in most of Indonesia but there generally seems to be a 'don't tell / ignore' policy' excepting brothels and sex parties.

As for a male/female relationship and living together - Depends where who and where you are.
My kids' nanny moving in to a spare room caused my local RT to turn up and ask a lot of questions. No worries once he was satisfied there was no hanky panky going on.

Very good reading. I enjoyed reading every bit of your story. Thanks for sharing.