Dominicans and money

Greetings Astray

In regarding your question I would like to say that there are two clear segments on the population: the ones that cares and the one that DO NOT, unfortunately , the biggest group is the one that do not care at ALL about spending.

I personally run into the same situation and i learned that is a waste of time try to teach an old dog tricks. If you really feel that you want to keep this relationship do yourself a favor, save time and do some adjustments on your end: going back on the allowance is a wonderful idea. start using your bank account and do the payments yourself directly thru online banking (bill, rent, etc) will be easier, faster and less expensive.

I don not your living standards, however 150.000 is way to much money for locals. the more they see the more they want. Bottom line: take yourself as much control you can on the finances and enjoy a wonderful time with your soulmate, but keep business as much of you can out the equation.

Disclaimer: I do not want to offend or judge nobody on any form, way or fashion, is just my personal opinion base on my interactions with locals.

That is a massive amount of money!!!! What the heck is she doing with it all?

Sorry she should get permission to spend more than 2,000 rd.

Take back control as money burns holes in pockets here. Pay the bills yourself electronically and if you cannot then she needs to be on a strict allowance! I cannot imagine what it being spent on!

Sorry to say she is not spending it, she is saving it Saving it to buy a house, SUV etc. for when she leaves you. Then she will find another Sugar Daddy. Does she live with you? If so, it's even worse. Give her RD 10,000 per month if she does & even that is too much. If she lives apart from you in a high rent abode, move her into a less expensive apartment. Does she live alone or share a place? Does she ever buy you gifts or take you out to dinner.  In other words does any of that fortune ever return to you?  The average local lives on less than$400 US a month & you are giving her over three thousand dollars a month, something is amiss!!!   It is YOU who needs to understand the value of money, nOT her!!!   She understands it all too well. Be glad that you can afford to piss away that much money.  By the way, what are, if any the age differences? Forgive me, but I have grave doubts about the viability of this relationship.  Good luck with you problem.

Hahahaja i have met very very few Dominicans capable of saving money.

If you have been in this for 2 years and you've seen receipts what is she spending this on???

Tell us more - do you live together ir is this just her? Kids? Schools?  Where?

We are not here to judge but to try to shed light so you can make your choices.

Damn.....

I wish I had someone dropping that into my bank account every month.  Woo hoo!

I know several local women who did just that. Some can see the future & plan for it. Some were married, others not. Life can be like a game of Black Jack, it is always better to be the dealer.  Deal yourself a winning hand or your heart can be broken as well as your bank.  Deal, don't shoot craps.

Exception rather then the rule, for sure!!!

How well I know!

In order to give you sound advice, you would need to tell us a bit more.  I will share my own experience.  I have been in my relationship 6 years, I pay 75% of the rent, my girl pays 25% covers the monthly internet bill and shares the groceries.  When I'm there for the most part I do the food shopping, but she still brings home some of the smaller items.  We do go out from time to time, and every so often we do the resort thing.  My point of sharing this is to say:  A good woman is going to invest in you, and will handle your money a bit more carefully.  I do not know how old this woman is, or her financial/educational background, but you will have to consider these things before trying to teach fiscal responsibility.  If she is a young chica  from the country or the barrio, she will lack the sophistication needed to spend the money wisely.  I witness the same thing every time I'm there, folks dressed to a T, but no food at home, or riding fancy motor bikes, but no cash to buy gas.  If you have lived there for the amount of time you claim, then you would know that the average Dominican has a : Live for today mentality, because they do not know what will happen tomorrow.   I have found for the most part, people do not truly appreciate what is achieved too easily.  Please let her invest some of her own money and perhaps she might begin to understand the value of it if she is not doing so currently.  A woman is less likely to leave if she is invested in you, but if she is not, then don't let the backdraft knock you over when she does!
      It is hard to teach someone the value of money, when it is simply given to them.  I hate to say this, but you creating a pattern, which you are going to find hard to break later on; Just give her enough cash for the basic needs, and when you are in town, perhaps you can do a bit more, but at least you are having fun with her. My comments are not made as judgement, but simply as perspective from a different angle. Please do come back and share a bit more.

Wow, thanks for all the replies. OK more information:
Yes we do live together. She rents  house for a family of 4 in SD. (mom, sister, brother (handicaped) and child) and I have a place on the North Coast. We split our time about 50/50 each place, although when I am gone (anywhere from 0-15 days a month) she stays in SD.
I have only been handling the money this way for the last few months. She does spend a lot of it on me , clothes mostly, and she will ask if I want her to pay for Dinner or whatever we are doing when we are alone. When we are with her family she automatically pays for everything.
Where does it go? She has about 40K in rent/school/electricity/phones/internet/etc. The rest goes to cosmetic items/procedures, jewelry, furniture etc.(I think i may have shot myself in foot showing her about good wine) Things that are OK to spend on but you need to save for them or only when you have discretionary funds.
I am ready to go back to the weekly allowance but as I said, its not about the money, there is plenty of it out there, I would rather her learn how to budget, only because it will help her the rest of her life.
Massagewiz- I couldn't agree with you more, people do spend there last peso to look good rather than the important things, but they do the same thing in the states as well.
All- Don't worry about offending me, I would not have posted personal maters if I wasn't prepared for some blows so hit away, but please, if anyone has an idea I would very much like to read it.
Thanks

Having read all the responses I have to agree 150K is an amazing amount.  My wife and I live quite well on that amount.
You will never teach her about fiscal responsibility, so stop banging your head in the wall.  Instead just accept it and go back to an allowance each week. 
Bob K

It must be a great feeling knowing that you are supporting someone else's family. A wonderful thing to have "plenty of money out there". Relent & let go of the idea of teaching her about the value of money, she already knows how to spend it.  I wish you well in your quest for reality.

Greetings Astray, glad to see you return and provide a bit more info.  I must agree with you on the point of folks doing the same thing in the U.S. All one has to do is look at forner NFL, NBA, MLB athletes who go broke after they stop playing sports  In general, the U.S. sets the standard for consumerism, and other countries pretty much copy what we do.  Education and cultural background has a lot to do with fiscal responsibility, and it has to start from young since trying to teach an adult fiscal responsibility is not an easy task. 

     It seems that at least she is willing to spend some of that money on you, so we know she is not selfish, but I must agree with the other posters as far as returning to a weekly allowance.  The only chance you have of teaching her fiscal responsibility would be to have surrounded with other folks who are doing the same thing, otherwise she will do as others do. 
     
     I tried to get my girl to wear a motor bike helmet for years, even bought her one from the U.S. She knows the helmet could save her life in an accident, but hardly ever wears it! When I asked her why? She said: Well no one else is wearing one, why should she? You never going to change culture, unless that person is moved to an environment where they can see others doing what they are supposed to be doing.  Enjoy your relationship, and if you still want to teach her, then give her small tasks from time to time, if you see her being responsible, then you can give her more, it is like training a child. Start slowly. Best of luck.

Thanks Massagewiz, Thanks a good point about who she is hanging around with and your are also right, I gave her to much to soon, starting small and then gradually working up seems to be the way to go.

the tinker40 wrote:

It must be a great feeling knowing that you are supporting someone else's family. A wonderful thing to have "plenty of money out there". Relent & let go of the idea of teaching her about the value of money, she already knows how to spend it.  I wish you well in your quest for reality.

Sarcasm is a useful tool. lol
I don't know about it being a good feeling helping people out, it just seems like like something that needs to be done. IMHO I think the meaning of life is just that, What meaning does my life have? What affect do I have on others? Can I leave this world just a little better off than when I found it?
As for the money, there is plenty out there for anyone willing to put in the work to get it and that is a wonderful thing.

Old thread but this article today is right on topic - and quite staggering findings albeit we do know many Dominicans are borrowed up to the hilt and wages are too low:

More than 8 million Dominicans live in financial vulnerability

https://almomento.net/750306-2/

85% of the Dominican population, that is 8.9 million citizens, lives in a financial situation of survival or vulnerability.

This causes financial stress, which in turn affects the physical and emotional health of individuals, and the family and work environment of those who suffer from it.

This has been concluded by the first study on financial health in the Dominican Republic 2021, prepared by the Caudall firm, using the FinHealth Score Toolkit methodology of the Financial Health Network, an international non-profit organization dedicated to promoting financial health.

The study indicates that the financial health index of Dominicans is at 54 points, which means that 30% - about 3.1 million households - have a financial situation of vulnerability.

In other words, your level of financial health is very low in several or all of the variables considered in the study.

RELEVANT FINDINGS

The study revealed that 37% of citizens had expenses greater than their income.

27% spent practically equal to their income.

49% fail to pay all their bills on time and 51% feel insecure or unsure that they cannot achieve their long-term goals.

39% of Dominicans cannot survive for more than three weeks with available savings.

23% cannot survive for a period greater than a week and 49% admit that they have debts greater than what is due or manageable.

38% of citizens said they have bad credit history or do not know it.

36% feel insecure about their insurance coverage and 67% do not plan their finances in advance.

INVESTIGATION

The study evaluated the financial health of the Economically Active Population of the country, based on data from the National Continuous Survey of the Central Bank's Workforce, with a technical sample of 1,740 people for a confidence level of 99% and a margin of 1% error.

It was carried out through a questionnaire that assesses the financial health of the participants in four pillars: spending, saving, debt and planning.

It calculates a general index of financial health on a scale of 0 to 100, where 0-39 is financially vulnerable, 40-79 is considered financially surviving, and 80 to 100 is financially healthy.

CONCLUSIONS

The study recommends making a joint effort, since financial health is a problem that must be addressed by all.

The individual must manage their finances in a responsible way, while the private sector must offer employees decent remuneration, with education and financial orientation programs.

The State, he adds, must play a vital role, establishing public policies that allow all citizens to receive financial education from an early age.

Likewise, promote that users of financial services receive the necessary information so that they can make duly informed decisions.

Despite not being certain of the financial health of Dominicans prior to the pandemic, taking into account the economic and social effects of the pandemic, the study considers the interpretation of the data interesting for the implementation of strategies, policies and actions of all the sectors, which "translate into better financial health and a better quality of life."

I am always amazed they actually need a study to know this.

Hello I had a similar experience with a Dominican woman and I learn to catch any potential problems when I meet a female and run. You should look into the laws on relationships and marriages . I retire early with 30 years of service NYC I move to Florida and met a 26 year old Colombian female with a son it did not last when I got wind that in Florida you pay child support for kids that are not yours and renting in Florida is a big gamble on losing your home I move to Puerto Rico and discover I went from the frying pan into the fire for after a relationship of 10 months living with you she is automatically entitle to the house  . In Uraguay South America if a man is planing on getting a divorce forget it he sneaks out the house at 3 in the morning and leaves the country a divorce there will take you to the cleaners. It looks like you can afford to live like a king try Japan

So what is the law in DR when it comes to a living girlfriend.  Let's say I purchase a home. Than she moves in with me. 10,15 years go by.  Is she entitle to the house?
If and when I buy a home I will make sure my kids are on the title and deed.

Correct me if I am wrong .


Thank you

Rich

Put the house in a corporation.  Then it's dealt with differently. 

What you bring into a relationship is yours. What you amass together belongs to you both.  So if you bring the house to the relationship an argument can be made for the capital gains or growth after you are together.  Living together becomes similar to married after a specific amount of time. My understanding is that is 2 years but of course that can depend on circumstances, lime kids etc.

And all of that is subject to whims of lawyers judges and police here!  Understand the rules as written and as applied!

Hello Rich I have not considered moving to DR so O have not done much research for that island but a pre-up is always a safe bet and always check squatter laws for any country or state for that matter example in Honduras if you going to be away from your home more than a year is best that you hire a house made to attend your home other wise after a year anyone can move in and you lose the house and this also happens in Florida in New York if you let a friend stay in a room once he or she she receives a postage mail they can claim residence you will have to go through court proceedings just like a landlord to him or her out if things go wrong. Back in the 70s when a relationship when south they would go there separate ways without a care but today you need to be careful

Thank you so much
I guess best is not to have girlfriend move in lol

Rich just for thought disputes with a resident favors the resident the police need money , the lawyers need money , the courts need money

Rich you are welcome.  Co hab agreements work. Prenups work.  There are ways to protect yourself.

Can we please stick to info about this country please.

Will a prenup from another country work in DR or recommended one for here as well?

The law here is territorial so get one here!

Absolutely, get one here.  It will make things a lot easier if you should ever have the need to use it.

If you have no assets or property here and don't plan to have any, then it probably won't have much value to do a Dominican pre-nup.  However, if you have assets, buy property etc. here, also get a Dominican Pre-nup. 

My recommendation is to have proper documents (wills, powers of attorney, pre-nups etc. prepared in each country that you have property or assets in just to be sure you have covered all of the bases, regardless of where you are living.

Finally, consult an honest (meaning well-recommended by people you know) and reputable lawyer experienced in the area of discussion.

Hello your prenup is valid as a contract in DR and also valid in some states in the US. In some states and some some countries the fairness and immigration laws apply example by fairness is one is rich and the other poor then the judge may void the contract immigration just like retiring to another country proof of income is required stands to reason that the government does not to pick up the burden to support financially someone on the backs of taxpayers money you maybe held responsible financially if they find the prenup one sided

Are you a Dominican lawyer?  Do you understand the law here?

It's territorial and based on french law not common law

Again get a pre nup, cohab, medical power of attorney and a will HERE and avoid issues.

That does not seem to make sense - why would some states in the US abide by it and rather than country as whole?

The advice from Mike and Planner seem very valid.

I don't know about whether or not states accept DR prenups or not, but US prenups are state-specific and the laws and requirements differ by state. If you sign a prenup in one US state and divorce in another, the prenup may not be valid. Same goes for wills in the US. If you move to another state, you need a new will.

I have attained information from a lawyer's website however I have no idea how to load the printed information to you off course I am not a lawyer and don't have to be simply I don't wait to the boat starts sinking to realize I don't have a life raft seek and you should find falling down is an accident staying down is a choice good luck

Of course you need the pre plan for what can happen.  We are suggesting the info posted may not be the best.  Simple!

I understand as the saying goes what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas  if the laws are favorable if you get marry in DR then is best to divorce in DR. I wish you and the group a safe and happy marry Christmas. Here in the US is looks like we going back to square one banks are closing down no dining in restaurants and students back to online learning is the new COVID variant

Happy holidays as well. 

Let's keep this thread to the money discussion. 

There are a few threads about covid, feel free to post in the appropriate place

Let me add that I have been through the process of using a Canadian will in the Dominican for a property situation and while it did work it was several years later and several thousand dollars in legal and documentation expenses that could have very simply been avoided with a Dominican will for very very little money. The choice and risk is yours but in my experience what I said before is IMO the best rule of thumb.  Being cheap could cost you a whole pile of time and money.

Merry Christmas to all...

Well said

Wow.....