Fooled by foreigner?

Love is blind. Your girlfriend is blind now

I doubt that "he is still single at 38". I bet that he's already has a family but still wants to court your girlfriend. A real man will overcome long distance to meet one he truly loves, not by phone only.

I hope your girl friend will discover the truth soon.

Thanks for your sharing.

I think he is single because they texting and talking every night that im sure he cant do that if he has a wife. I did take a look on his facebook.
I dont know this is a treat or cheat. She is kind and pretty one.

Any way  wish your friend GOOD LUCK and her love come true.......

Well i dont know why..

Good man always gets a bad girl
And good girl always gets a bad man.

Don't think like that dear. how you think your friend perfect girl in this world? Do you heard about ( Karma)  So belive yourself.   what we do same think we will get.   that's is a life law dear.

QuynnTr wrote:

Am i right? Something wrong here?

I think you're right;  something is wrong with your friend.  She is doing things that seem illogical, based on emotions, not thinking.

I'm curious:  Why do you think she is being "Fooled by (a) foreigner"?  Just because he's nice to her?  You said he never had sex with her, so it sounds like he didn't use her for that.  So, did he tell her to quit her job and spend this money?   Or is she doing that because she's not thinking clearly, and has no other good options?

One of the sections of the company I work for handles contract chatroom admin/moderator duties. Most of the sites are technical but one is a dating web site. There are so many fakes it is laughable.

On my experience someone who is 38 years old and single is either divorced or has a problem. We also use Google image search to check out suspicious posts.

Presumably your friend has a picture of her heart-throb, so she should use Google image search and see where else his picture is.

Also, she should try calling him late at night - his time - using the excuse she wants to hear his voice. If he is married or in some relationship, it might expose him as a two-timer.

Quitting a jib and using all your savings to see a guy is crazy. He has money (or should have at that age), he has a far higher income so HE should be SPENDING THE MONEY to visit her.

Besides, at 23 she is far to young in today's VietNam to make such major decisions. She should get out and experience life before making choices.

There is a girl around the corner from my HCM office who is waiting to marry a guy from the US 'when his divorce comes through'. She is now in her sixth year of waiting for this divorce - obviously she is getting strung along. But she, too, is blind to the obvious.

Love is an illusion we build to convince ourselves that lust is ok because I am in love. IMO we either need to accept the moment and just enjoy the time we spend together for what it is. Or identify your goal of marriage and family life on your first date. Make sure everyone is on the same page. If not find someone else. Just my 500 dong worth.

Omg, you friend really has some problems! All things are wrong!

I realized that, almost foreigners are very very polite. But Viet men arent. Some my Viet friends, they never pay me A compliment when I have a new hair stype, new dress, etc... Even they talk oppositely (talk this but think other), they want to make me angry. Many my friends are like that, luckily for them, I can understand them , so I am never angry at all .

But all my foreigner friends, they obseve very well. When I have something new, they dont mind pay me SOME compliments. And because they are very very polite, well-educated, confident; they always know what they do, they can make girls satified... That why nowadays, many girls want to have a boyfriend who is foreigner. Poor Viet men! They need time to change...

"When someone really CARE about you, they make an EFFORT, not an EXCUSE" (from Internet)

So, dont hear men talk, see what they do.

ngattt wrote:

Omg, you friend really has some problems! All things are wrong!

I realized that, almost foreigners are very very polite. But Viet men arent. Some my Viet friends, they never pay me A compliment when I have a new hair stype, new dress, etc... Even they talk oppositely (talk this but think other), they want to make me angry. Many my friends are like that, luckily for them, I can understand them , so I am never angry at all .

But all my foreigner friends, they obseve very well. When I have something new, they dont mind pay me SOME compliments. And because they are very very polite, well-educated, confident; they always know what they do, they can make girls satified... That why nowadays, many girls want to have a boyfriend who is foreigner. Poor Viet men! They need time to change...

"When someone really CARE about you, they make an EFFORT, not an EXCUSE" (from Internet)

So, dont hear men talk, see what they do.

Excellent post!  (And, your new haircut looks fabulous! )

DanFromSF wrote:

Excellent post!  (And, your new haircut looks fabulous! )

Ha ha ha ha
Nice day, dear  !

Jaitch wrote:

One of the sections of the company I work for handles contract chatroom admin/moderator duties. Most of the sites are technical but one is a dating web site. There are so many fakes it is laughable.

On my experience someone who is 38 years old and single is either divorced or has a problem. We also use Google image search to check out suspicious posts.

Presumably your friend has a picture of her heart-throb, so she should use Google image search and see where else his picture is.

Also, she should try calling him late at night - his time - using the excuse she wants to hear his voice. If he is married or in some relationship, it might expose him as a two-timer.

Quitting a jib and using all your savings to see a guy is crazy. He has money (or should have at that age), he has a far higher income so HE should be SPENDING THE MONEY to visit her.

Besides, at 23 she is far to young in today's VietNam to make such major decisions. She should get out and experience life before making choices.

There is a girl around the corner from my HCM office who is waiting to marry a guy from the US 'when his divorce comes through'. She is now in her sixth year of waiting for this divorce - obviously she is getting strung along. But she, too, is blind to the obvious.

Thanks you. Thats a nice idea. She did call him at midnight few times and nobody there with him.
He is brishtish-taiwanese and living in Taiwan now, he understands asian and western culture very well.
She loves him for sure. The only thing i cant imagine that a man dont mind to hurt somebody really love him.
I dont think we will take what we give. Life is not fair.

My friend need HIV test....
My friend is in danger....
My friend is in a 'love' trap....
Guys!
Is that you or your 'friend' really? 
Anyway, for 'love' (your definition and mine is different), your 'friend' ran too far 
Nobody is perfect!
But we have some boundaries and values....
Whether it is 'love' or lust for....

charmavietnam wrote:

My friend need HIV test....
My friend is in danger....
My friend is in a 'love' trap....
Guys!
Is that you or your 'friend' really? 
...

Haa really?

QuynnTr wrote:

The only thing i cant imagine that a man dont mind to hurt somebody really love him.
I dont think we will take what we give. Life is not fair.

Dont blame someone if they hurt you! Life is always not fair. Love yourself first, dont expect too much from others.
Pls always try to keep your heart warm, but dont forget, keep you head cold too!

DanFromSF wrote:

ngattt wrote:

Omg, you friend really has some problems! All things are wrong!

I realized that, almost foreigners are very very polite. But Viet men arent. Some my Viet friends, they never pay me A compliment when I have a new hair stype, new dress, etc... Even they talk oppositely (talk this but think other), they want to make me angry. Many my friends are like that, luckily for them, I can understand them , so I am never angry at all .

But all my foreigner friends, they obseve very well. When I have something new, they dont mind pay me SOME compliments. And because they are very very polite, well-educated, confident; they always know what they do, they can make girls satified... That why nowadays, many girls want to have a boyfriend who is foreigner. Poor Viet men! They need time to change...

"When someone really CARE about you, they make an EFFORT, not an EXCUSE" (from Internet)

So, dont hear men talk, see what they do.

Excellent post!  (And, your new haircut looks fabulous! )

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

Main topic: I agree with Dan that it cant be said your friend is fooled by that foreigner. Men love by eyes, Women love by ears and first love usually hurts but never has a happy ending.

@QuynnTr : Has your friend do the image search yet? Use a picture that has him, drag and drop on img.google.com Google will do an image search for you free of charge.

Do that with EVERY picture that has that man inside. Let's see where it pop up. Sometimes, the place where a version of the picture popping up can be quite telling.

As for your friend. Well, I hate to see say this but sometimes she need to pay the price. It's unavoidably. As a friend you can try to protect her somewhat. But be prepared that she is going to be self-immolate. It's Karma :shrug:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

I liked it because she said complimentary things about foreigners (like me).

And I was trying to be funny.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

I liked it because she said complimentary things about foreigners (like me).

And I was trying to be funny.

sure you are a gentleman although you're strange sometimes.

I guess quynntr's friend also has the same belief like ngantt.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

I liked it because she said complimentary things about foreigners (like me).

And I was trying to be funny.

And you love by eyes or by ears?

Dejavu.dot wrote:

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

I liked it because she said complimentary things about foreigners (like me).

And I was trying to be funny.

sure you are a gentleman although you're strange sometimes.

I guess quynntr's friend also has the same belief like ngantt

What can we do when we know it totally wrong but cant get rid of?

Dejavu.dot wrote:

sure you are a gentleman although you're strange sometimes.

I appreciate you thinking I'm a gentleman, but I have to correct you:  I'm strange often.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

I liked it because she said complimentary things about foreigners (like me).

And I was trying to be funny.

sure you are a gentleman although you're strange sometimes.

I guess quynntr's friend also has the same belief like ngantt.

Ok dear, you have idea, and I have another idea. It's normal.
I am old woman , I'm not young anymore. Her friend is 23 and I'm 32 .
Because my job is not easy for women, so I always work with men. And now, I teach IT in university, my students are about 85% men .
So what I wrote, is my experience with many people arround me!

QuynnTr wrote:

What can we do when we know it totally wrong but cant get rid of?

You are asking for your friend?

It is not easy to answer your question. We just can observe your friend until she falls and take her back to life.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I don't know why Dan likes your post but I totally disagree.

I liked it because she said complimentary things about foreigners (like me).

And I was trying to be funny.

Dear! I dont pay compliment for foreigners . I try to warn some Vietnamese women, that all of you are so polite, and maybe sometimes something is not real, just compliments . Or you guys always try not to hurt anyone!
And I hope them can understand Viet men (even a little ). Some  Viet men I know, they are very good, but they are not ingenious (khéo léo) with women.

But anyway, I really learned many things from foreigners.

ngattt wrote:

Dear! I dont pay compliment for foreigners . I try to warn some Vietnamese women, that all of you are so polite, and maybe sometimes something is not real, just compliments . Or you guys always try not to hurt anyone!
.

Can you give an example?  There's a difference between giving compliments and being polite, so I'm wondering what you're thinking of.

There's nothing else you can do for your friend now because she's already quit her job ad spent a lot to come to visit that man.

Now what you should worry for your friend is to collect as much information about him as possible (photos, full name, identity, home address,....) because in the worst case, he could be a human trafficker (hopefully he isn't).

Before she goes, make sure everyone knows who he is and where is he and tell your friend to make sure he knows that everyone knows about him and knows how to find him if there's anything wrong happens to her.

Your friend is still young and she can still learn her lessons by making mistakes. Just make sure to be safe though!

DanFromSF wrote:

Can you give an example?  There's a difference between giving compliments and being polite, so I'm wondering what you're thinking of.

I wish I am good enough at English to give you many examples.
Example: she is a normal girl. No one said she was beautiful. She never wears dress. One day, she changes, she wears a normal dress.
Viet man: you look different. Nice!
Foreigner:  wow, today you change your style, you look beautiful, very beautiful. I like your new style. You really cute. Really beautiful!

Something like that . If I am a young girl and I like him so much, I will think: oh, I am quite special with him. Tomorrow I will wear dress again .

But I think you are not polite like that .

Ngan Khanh wrote:

Now what you should worry for your friend is to collect as much information about him as possible (photos, full name, identity, home address,....) because in the worst case, he could be a human trafficker (hopefully he isn't).

What is the use of these "investigation" , if he is not sincere and just want to play?
Want to go to court to "reinstate" lost love?
It's too late for her if he do'nt want to show up!
She did many mistakes  without a rethink.
you will reap what you sow!

QuynnTr wrote:

Well i dont know why..

Good man always gets a bad girl
And good girl always gets a bad man.

I'm very grateful for my "good girl" wife from Hue. Guess that means I'm sooooooo bad. Sometimes girls are attracted to bad boys???

ngattt wrote:

But I think you are not polite like that .

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that.

To me, being polite is saying, "please", "thank you", "excuse me", etc.  Telling a woman she looks beautiful is not part of being polite, and I don't think most western guys do it out of politeness.  They might be saying it because they want a date, or perhaps they just like making a woman smile, or some other reason.  In any case, it's optional, where I don't think being polite is optional, or done with motive.

I don't like compliments and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean.
― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

Ok, Dan, I will stop discussion here, because my English is not good enough to explain everything to you. Maybe it make you misunderstand. But I really like polite people . Athought sometimes, some compliments makes me confuse, I dont know who am I  . That why I talk to my students, dont pay a compliment for anyone easily  .

Have a nice weekends  !

BTW, in my mind, some strange people, or they are not happy in their life, or they feel lonely because they dont have best friends/partner who can understand them so much...

Once again, Ngantt proves that women love by ears

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Once again, Ngantt proves that women love by ears

I think you knew that already! But I always try to think by head.
That why I said, dont hear the men said, see what they did.
And, even men, I think they want to hear something politely too.

BTW, my name is Nga, Tran Thi Thanh Nga, so my nick name is nga ttt .

The longer this thread goes, the more confusing it gets.

Oh. I am sorry dear. Ngatt. I remember now.

IT is really hard stuff with many weird men!

Paying compliments and generally being nice to each other is not really done that much by Vietnamese sad to say, I have a Vietnamese friend who is female and we often talk about the difference in our cultures[I am English], where as I might say to her you are looking nice tonight her family and friends have often said the exact opposite.
It goes much deeper, if a Viet builds a nice house the neighbors never compliment them on it, they only ever comment in the negative never in the positive, same as you never here phrases like 'oh they are a lovely couple', or ''such a nice family'', I have no idea why this is and of course there is bound to be the odd exception, but it is a shame really.