How different between the rich and the poor in finding love

I think the hardest part of being "in love".... is when you still haven't realized that no one can really make you happy... yet we still go through life, placing expectations for happiness on our partners.

The fact of the matter is...Happiness comes from within...not from anyone else, it comes from you.

As long as we search outside of ourselves, "love" topics, such as this, will endure on the forum

Love as related to marriage is a relatively new concept in Asia, and it certainly hasn't taken hold in all of Vietnam. Though love as related to feelings between men and woman is older than even the Truyen Kieu. And between them lies the minefield. Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family, and arranged marriages were the historical norm. And arranged marriages still take place in much of Vietnam.

When I lived in Korea I read an newspaper article that said six our of ten Korean university women polled listed 'future economic potential' as the most important characteristic they looked for in a potential husband. That potential would govern how the well the family would live, the schools their children would attend, etc. I have no idea how accurate that poll was, but it struck me as common sense. Back in the 1950s, many American girls were sent to college by parents who wished to place them in the company presumably more economically eligible men. Why would today's Vietnamese parents be any different? Wealth means a greater chance of health and educational well-being. From a parent's perspective, it also means greater opportunities for their descendants. And it could well mean assistance in their own old age.

But, since not all expats are what they appear to be, why not test the foreigner a bit? Love is one thing, but very few Vietnamese girls raised in a Vietnamese home are going to marry against their parents wishes. If he cannot help the family, he is either far poorer than he appears to be, or he is selfish and not willing to be part of the family.

Economics runs the world. Those who've been raised in middle class nations can pretend that money doesn't matter, but it does, especially to those who have lived on the edge of economic disaster for any part of their lives. And that reality influences their view of "love". Love is grand, but respect and family loyalty count for much too.

ancientpathos wrote:

lamhoang wrote:

charmavietnam wrote:

"Love" discussion again?

Yep, love again. Topic about love is forever and never gets boring!

Better than watching television....

I don't have a television.  That's why I'm on here alot.  And it is very entertaining.

jimbream wrote:

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

charmavietnam wrote:

"Love" discussion again?

Sure...you gotta keep this website active.  Love, money, VISAs...what other topics keep you coming back?  Oh, motorbikes.

Should I live there?,
I used to live there and want to ask questions,
I want to learn English,
I want to learn Vietnamese,
I want to share in language exchange,
Hi,I'm new,
It's too hard to search on Google,so I want to ask you.....,
My company can help you,
I'm happy,
I didn't check previous threads and want to ask the same question,

That is HILARIOUS!!!

lirelou wrote:

Love as related to marriage is a relatively new concept in Asia, and it certainly hasn't taken hold in all of Vietnam. Though love as related to feelings between men and woman is older than even the Truyen Kieu. And between them lies the minefield. Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family, and arranged marriages were the historical norm. And arranged marriages still take place in much of Vietnam.

When I lived in Korea I read an newspaper article that said six our of ten Korean university women polled listed 'future economic potential' as the most important characteristic they looked for in a potential husband. That potential would govern how the well the family would live, the schools their children would attend, etc. I have no idea how accurate that poll was, but it struck me as common sense. Back in the 1950s, many American girls were sent to college by parents who wished to place them in the company presumably more economically eligible men. Why would today's Vietnamese parents be any different? Wealth means a greater chance of health and educational well-being. From a parent's perspective, it also means greater opportunities for their descendants. And it could well mean assistance in their own old age.

But, since not all expats are what they appear to be, why not test the foreigner a bit? Love is one thing, but very few Vietnamese girls raised in a Vietnamese home are going to marry against their parents wishes. If he cannot help the family, he is either far poorer than he appears to be, or he is selfish and not willing to be part of the family.

Economics runs the world. Those who've been raised in middle class nations can pretend that money doesn't matter, but it does, especially to those who have lived on the edge of economic disaster for any part of their lives. And that reality influences their view of "love". Love is grand, but respect and family loyalty count for much too.

I think I will call you Master D from now on.  Your posts are filled with great educational stuff. 

Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family,

How is this accomplished?  Should I go out and buy a new motorbike Master D?

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

I don't have a television.  That's why I'm on here alot.  And it is very entertaining.

We have something in common. I don't have a television too nor do I want one.

Is it love or pride and loyalty that keeps the marriage together?

THD,
   Please, please, go get yourself a television today. Just google it and do the research, you would be surprised just how many people have T.V., and there are many laws regulating the T.V. also. Research those and let us know of your finding….say in 2015. Just teasing you, sometimes, not often you do come up with something interesting.

Lirelou,
   Good piece. I rather think your from another planet if you don't think about money in such a way. Yet people just seem to not want to admit it drives MANY of their decisions. I schooled my children with the primary intent they would be able to provide for themselves in an adequate fashion, and they are all boys. Thanks for you post.

No one says that money is not important. Money is in your brain, love is in your heart. Both of them are very very important and they seem to exist in parallel. Please rewiew the content of the topic. Here, we only discuss why poor can get a true love easier than a rich. Please understand that a real love means it must come from your heart not from your brain.

Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family,

How is this accomplished?  Should I go out and buy a new motorbike Master D?

Well, THD, are you not in a position to observe yourself? A new motorbike will resonate among a certain percentage of the female population, but is that the percentage you intend to marry into? The Vietnamese equivalent of a Valley Girl?

Traidtionally, passing the Tri-ennial exams was the big step forward, particularly in the North and North Center. In the South Central and Mekong Delta, it was clearing virgin land for rice fields, entering into trade (forest products, foreign goods, traditinal medicine, trade with the tribes etc.), or entering a trade, shipbuilding at one time, metalwork, wheelwright, small peddling and commerce (The Minh Huong and overseas Chinese sewed up much of the international commerce), and, of course securing a government position which in the South was always far more dependent upon performance than mere exams. (Indeed, one of the factors which sparked the Nguyen Van Khoi rebellion against Minh Mang's appointments, among other causes). The French did not run the Vietnamese economy. They got their fingers into it via the banknotes issued by the Bank of Indochina, but the economy itself was largely run by Chinese, some Indians, and far more Vietnamese families who had accumulated land or become rich enough to enter private banking or business.

So 2013, what does one in your position do? You have an education and an American passport. So you have two choices: One, find a foreign company that needs your skills and become one of those high salaried expats, or find a niche in Vietnam.

I presume you have some experience and work history. Do what you do best and see what happens. Somewhere out there must be an expat who owns a small pizza business in Vung Tau or Nha Trang, a small pub, restaurant, or something that they can do better at in their location than anyone else. Likely married to a girl who is partner in the business, or living with such a girl and thinking of marriage.

The motorbike will only do you good if you're thinking of the xe om trade, or it could be used to deliver those pizzas, banh mi thit, fresh donuts, or whatever. Vietnam may not be Singapore yet, but there is hope that the South will get there.

  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-24428567

My apologies if this is overly pedantic, and I realize that you may only be pulling my chain, but if you set out to make yourself a worthy (young but ambitious and hard working) head of a family, some young lady worthy of you will take notice.

I'm not real certain love is in your heart. Love perhaps is a conscious THOUGHT process to give freely to another. The heart is an involuntary muscle your conscious mind has no control over. yes, I
realize love has long thought to come from the heart, the lovely Valentine hearts etc. yet in reality the heart is simply a muscle controlled by our sub-concious mind. At least that is my understanding of anatomy.

lirelou wrote:

Love as related to marriage is a relatively new concept in Asia, and it certainly hasn't taken hold in all of Vietnam. Though love as related to feelings between men and woman is older than even the Truyen Kieu. And between them lies the minefield. Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family, and arranged marriages were the historical norm. And arranged marriages still take place in much of Vietnam.

When I lived in Korea I read an newspaper article that said six our of ten Korean university women polled listed 'future economic potential' as the most important characteristic they looked for in a potential husband. That potential would govern how the well the family would live, the schools their children would attend, etc. I have no idea how accurate that poll was, but it struck me as common sense. Back in the 1950s, many American girls were sent to college by parents who wished to place them in the company presumably more economically eligible men. Why would today's Vietnamese parents be any different? Wealth means a greater chance of health and educational well-being. From a parent's perspective, it also means greater opportunities for their descendants. And it could well mean assistance in their own old age.

But, since not all expats are what they appear to be, why not test the foreigner a bit? Love is one thing, but very few Vietnamese girls raised in a Vietnamese home are going to marry against their parents wishes. If he cannot help the family, he is either far poorer than he appears to be, or he is selfish and not willing to be part of the family.

Economics runs the world. Those who've been raised in middle class nations can pretend that money doesn't matter, but it does, especially to those who have lived on the edge of economic disaster for any part of their lives. And that reality influences their view of "love". Love is grand, but respect and family loyalty count for much too.

This gets my vote for best post on this thread.

Lamhoang, I think your premise that the poor find love easier than the rich is mistaken. Love is never easy for anyone to find, or I read Nguyen Du wrong. I do believe that one should follow their heart in matters of love, but out in the rice paddies where families work the farm family decisions and opinions count, even when they should not.

Example: My sister-in-law' son fell in love with a young lady studying pharmacy. He wanted to marry her. His mother opposed the marriage on the grounds than an educated daughter in law would never respect her. So, he quit seeing the young lady. Eventually she married someone she didn't love and his mother found him a bride. Two children later he is miserable with his family approved wife and still pines for his lady pharmacist.

Sounds like a soap opera, but it is sadly true. He's still poor, and I presume she is not. The irony here is that had he been the pharmacy student and she the poor girl, his mother would likely have opposed the marriage because she wanted him to marry someone within his class.

bta87 wrote:

I'm not real certain love is in your heart. Love perhaps is a conscious THOUGHT process to give freely to another. The heart is an involuntary muscle your conscious mind has no control over. yes, I
realize love has long thought to come from the heart, the lovely Valentine hearts etc. yet in reality the heart is simply a muscle controlled by our sub-concious mind. At least that is my understanding of anatomy.

So have you found your real love yet? I don't know who you are but maybe you are rich? So are you happy in your love now?

I really don't see or agree that there is any connection between money in happiness nor love. I find happiness under every tree I set under, be in in the middle of the desert or high in the Austrian alps.
And it is not the tree that brings the happiness, I came to th tree with the happiness within me. I never need to check my bank account in order to tell if I'm happy. However, I have a great deal of empathy for those who think money equates to happiness or love. Sorry to disappoint.

Is there still 'LOVE' exists?
If so what's love in your view?
I am trying so many years for an apt definition

lamhoang wrote:

No one says that money is not important. Money is in your brain, love is in your heart. Both of them are very very important and they seem to exist in parallel. Please rewiew the content of the topic. Here, we only discuss why poor can get a true love easier than a rich. Please understand that a real love means it must come from your heart not from your brain.

Charmavietnam,
   The diversity of uses and meanings (e.g I loved that meal, I love my dog, I loved that dress, i would love to go out tonight) combined with the  complexity of feelings involved makes love unusually difficult to define as compared to other emotional states.
    Perhaps this is why it is hard for us to agree on just what it means and it has been this way for all time.

Living in this 21st century, we must recognize that there are too full to serve the needs of human life. Compared to previous decades, scientific advances that dramatically. Science has given man a life of fullness and comfort. Yet that still does not stop people from searching for themselves a happiness. Science has brought people to go to the extreme of success, fame, career, and yet people are still frustrated, bored, and could not find a way out.
HAVE EVER KNOWN WHAT LOVE IS
That is what people love only superficial, flashy, ephemeral. A great new girl, likes to find a young man who is tall, handsome, healthy, has much more money to satisfy her wishes and demands. The guy likes a girl whose looking is beautiful, sexy and under the direction of his invitation to go to separate places, only two people.
Based on this weakness, the guy would be easy to use money to conceal his weaknesses and shortcomings, and the girl uses her beauty and glamor to bribe love.
When they both meet the expectations and demands of physical and psychological nature, they always want to be near each other, until the appropriation altogether.
It's one of the reasons that makes a man or a woman sometimes easier in making the wrong actions including killing each other.
When they so much be together, understand each other so well, everything gets boring. They start feeling wrong, wrong and wrong in their love, their selection.
When a couple just love because of money, beauty, glamor, fame, they won't know anything about the real nature as well as the origin of their lover.
Ostensibly, the idea is to have them all to build up a perfect love affair, but inside they have nothing to prepare and preserve for lasting love affair.
That is one of the causes leading to disruption when they approached marriage....
WHAT LOVE IS:
In my opinion, love means we must find a person maybe does not need to so wealth, so beautiful, so sexy but simple with a spirit of selflessness, generosity, understanding the reason for living, sensitive to the pain of others, appreciate for the good opinion, the way he gives and receives and above all the need to have faith, believe in himself or herself also his or her partner.

lamhoang wrote:

Living in this 21st century, we must recognize that there are too full to serve the needs of human life. Compared to previous decades, scientific advances that dramatically. Science has given man a life of fullness and comfort. Yet that still does not stop people from searching for themselves a happiness. Science has brought people to go to the extreme of success, fame, career, and yet people are still frustrated, bored, and could not find a way out.
HAVE EVER KNOWN WHAT LOVE IS
That is what people love only superficial, flashy, ephemeral. A great new girl, likes to find a young man who is tall, handsome, healthy, has much more money to satisfy her wishes and demands. The guy likes a girl whose looking is beautiful, sexy and under the direction of his invitation to go to separate places, only two people.
Based on this weakness, the guy would be easy to use money to conceal his weaknesses and shortcomings, and the girl uses her beauty and glamor to bribe love.
When they both meet the expectations and demands of physical and psychological nature, they always want to be near each other, until the appropriation altogether.
It's one of the reasons that makes a man or a woman sometimes easier in making the wrong actions including killing each other.
When they so much be together, understand each other so well, everything gets boring. They start feeling wrong, wrong and wrong in their love, their selection.
When a couple just love because of money, beauty, glamor, fame, they won't know anything about the real nature as well as the origin of their lover.
Ostensibly, the idea is to have them all to build up a perfect love affair, but inside they have nothing to prepare and preserve for lasting love affair.
That is one of the causes leading to disruption when they approached marriage....
WHAT LOVE IS:
In my opinion, love means we must find a person maybe does not need to so wealth, so beautiful, so sexy but simple with a spirit of selflessness, generosity, understanding the reason for living, sensitive to the pain of others, appreciate for the good opinion, the way he gives and receives and above all the need to have faith, believe in himself or herself also his or her partner.

Love matters not about money. But marriage matters about money. Most single people want love that ends in marriage to a good provider.  But if you take marriage out of the equation, love can be for love for both rich and poor alike.

“Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that love is not abundant”

See there we see it again "...poverty of the heart…." As if muscles have emotions. I guess we just tend to think this emotion comes from the heart, maybe someone can provide the genisis of this idea. I wonder if hearts ever feel sad, or anger.

See there we see it again "...poverty of the heart…." As if muscles have emotions. I guess we just tend to think this emotion comes from the heart, maybe someone can provide the genisis of this idea. I wonder if hearts ever feel sad, or anger.

Extract from:
heartdoctorsworld(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2009/05/20/is-the-heart-organ-responsible-for-feelings-and-emotions/

There is new scientific evidence that the heart organ is responsible for feelings and emotions. The heart uses neurological, biochemical and biophysical ways to send emotional and intuitive signals to our brain. The scientists are now discovering that the heart may be the actual intelligent force, which is behind the intuitive thoughts, feelings and emotions experienced by us.

As the new discovery proves that the heart has direct links to intelligence force, we have a new prototype for understanding our emotions. In fact, emotions are connected with the rhythm of the heart. If you feel frustrated or nervous, you may notice that your heartbeat is irregular. You can even take an ECG, which would show high irregular curves. In turn, if you feel loved or confident, the curves are more regular. This can help you to understand that heart organ is responsible for feelings and emotions.

OP! You did a good research and now keep going on topic. When you find out something more than other posters, surely you can proud yourself

Citsym,
  Thanks. The things you learn on here. This is what make the forum enjoyable. That is very interesting. I sure would love to read that research paper. There can be no doubt that are heart rhythm changes when stress etc. I just wonder how they proved the cause.effect part of it. Does the heart cause the stress or does the heart react to the stress. Interesting!! Again thanks for providing it to us.

Just sharing...

The following is one of the reasons some say:
Love is the answer, what was the question.

But it's not love of the kind we are speaking about on this post...

As science looks more and more at the human body with greater technology, we have begun to come full circle in understanding what the ancients knew about the heart, the brain, and divine consciousness.

What is the heart? Is it more than just a pump for blood? Or could the truth about its power be related to the essence of your entire being, and have a field of energy so great that it can transform not just your own being into that of light, love and happiness, but even those around you.

What is the shining light of the heart, and how can you access it and gain the inner knowing of who you are and why you are here:

Read more at: social-consciousness(dot)com/2012/09/awakening-the-illuminated-healing-heart-power(dot)html

lirelou wrote:

Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family,

How is this accomplished?  Should I go out and buy a new motorbike Master D?

Well, THD, are you not in a position to observe yourself? A new motorbike will resonate among a certain percentage of the female population, but is that the percentage you intend to marry into? The Vietnamese equivalent of a Valley Girl?
...
So 2013, what does one in your position do? You have an education and an American passport. So you have two choices: One, find a foreign company that needs your skills and become one of those high salaried expats, or find a niche in Vietnam.
...

My apologies if this is overly pedantic, and I realize that you may only be pulling my chain, but if you set out to make yourself a worthy (young but ambitious and hard working) head of a family, some young lady worthy of you will take notice.

Well Master D.  This is the thought that I have toiled in my mind for many moons.  The dilemma is this:  I do have the ability to provide for any girl that I marry as well as her family (since I will also marry the family - her parents are my parents, and so on) because I have the two aspects you mentioned: an education and an American passport.  However, I don't want someone to marry me because of this (i.e. for money). 

So I often go about "looking" poor.  But by "looking" poor I lock myself out of the running.  I found this culture is more focused on appearance versus essence.  An easy example is a boy who drives a new motorbike that his father bought him is valued more than a boy who worked hard day and night to save up for a used motorbike.  If I "look rich", then I can never know if they like me for the "free ticket to America".  Thus my question on the new motorbike.  I have asked the very same question you posed. 

A new motorbike will resonate among a certain percentage of the female population, but is that the percentage you intend to marry into? The Vietnamese equivalent of a Valley Girl?

Purkinje fibers and the electro chemical stimulus response immediately came to mind from all this talk about the heart, science, emotions, etc... Very interesting....it begs the question; what about heart transplant recipients whose hearts beat at 135 beats per minute...how do they figure into this formula?

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

lirelou wrote:

Marriage in much of Asia hangs upon a husband's ability to provide for his family,

How is this accomplished?  Should I go out and buy a new motorbike Master D?

Well, THD, are you not in a position to observe yourself? A new motorbike will resonate among a certain percentage of the female population, but is that the percentage you intend to marry into? The Vietnamese equivalent of a Valley Girl?
...
So 2013, what does one in your position do? You have an education and an American passport. So you have two choices: One, find a foreign company that needs your skills and become one of those high salaried expats, or find a niche in Vietnam.
...

My apologies if this is overly pedantic, and I realize that you may only be pulling my chain, but if you set out to make yourself a worthy (young but ambitious and hard working) head of a family, some young lady worthy of you will take notice.

Well Master D.  This is the thought that I have toiled in my mind for many moons.  The dilemma is this:  I do have the ability to provide for any girl that I marry as well as her family (since I will also marry the family - her parents are my parents, and so on) because I have the two aspects you mentioned: an education and an American passport.  However, I don't want someone to marry me because of this (i.e. for money). 

A new motorbike will resonate among a certain percentage of the female population, but is that the percentage you intend to marry into? The Vietnamese equivalent of a Valley Girl?

A nice villa, a new CAR, a good job/position, dressing and appearing neatly groomed, polite, respectful and treating the ladies properly works with the well educated young ladies of Saigon.

AND - at least TRYING to learn the language, customs and history of Viet Nam helps a lot as well !

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

(since I will also marry the family - her parents are my parents, and so on)

It would be nice if you can do so; but who will you marry with? The girl and your future kids, right? Try to marry the girl first, then take care your own family.  If the girl loves you and respects you, she would not try to force you also get married with her family (her parent).  Vietnamese woman is strong, she can take care of her own family and her parent (and maybe your parent) without asking any thing from the husband.

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

An easy example is a boy who drives a new motorbike that his father bought him is valued more than a boy who worked hard day and night to save up for a used motorbike.

Who told you so? A smart Vietnamese girl?

That's what going on here and other countries em oi!
May be some exceptions!

aibiet150204 wrote:

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

(since I will also marry the family - her parents are my parents, and so on)

It would be nice if you can do so; but who will you marry with? The girl and your future kids, right? Try to marry the girl first, then take care your own family.  If the girl loves you and respects you, she would not try to force you also get married with her family (her parent).  Vietnamese woman is strong, she can take care of her own family and her parent (and maybe your parent) without asking any thing from the husband.

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

An easy example is a boy who drives a new motorbike that his father bought him is valued more than a boy who worked hard day and night to save up for a used motorbike.

Who told you so? A smart Vietnamese girl?

charmavietnam wrote:

That's what going on here and other countries em oi!
May be some exceptions!

aibiet150204 wrote:

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

(since I will also marry the family - her parents are my parents, and so on)

It would be nice if you can do so; but who will you marry with? The girl and your future kids, right? Try to marry the girl first, then take care your own family.  If the girl loves you and respects you, she would not try to force you also get married with her family (her parent).  Vietnamese woman is strong, she can take care of her own family and her parent (and maybe your parent) without asking any thing from the husband.

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

An easy example is a boy who drives a new motorbike that his father bought him is valued more than a boy who worked hard day and night to save up for a used motorbike.

Who told you so? A smart Vietnamese girl?

Yay, I do love the word "exception" anh/chi oi!

Flip465 wrote:

lirelou wrote:

A new motorbike will resonate among a certain percentage of the female population, but is that the percentage you intend to marry into? The Vietnamese equivalent of a Valley Girl?

A nice villa, a new CAR, a good job/position, dressing and appearing neatly groomed, polite, respectful and treating the ladies properly works with the well educated young ladies of Saigon.

AND - at least TRYING to learn the language, customs and history of Viet Nam helps a lot as well !

Yah I got the 2nd part but the first part...See?  There's lirelou's question again.  "...is that the percentage you intend to marry into?".  So what happens when I crash the new car, the nice villa burns down, the job is lost?  This thread is about rich and poor right?

aibiet150204 wrote:

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

An easy example is a boy who drives a new motorbike that his father bought him is valued more than a boy who worked hard day and night to save up for a used motorbike.

Who told you so? A smart Vietnamese girl?

I'm using a motorbike example as a representative of richness, material possessions.  In Vietnamese society, appearance of richness is valued more.  Americans "appears" to be rich because we borrow money to buy big houses (we can't even come up with the 20% down payment to buy a house that we need to borrow even for that).  The Vietnamese, on the other hand, don't go get 30-year mortgages to buy a house.  They save up until they have enough and buy a house outright for cash.  It may only a brick box but they own it, while in America, people live in giant castles that the bank owns.

An accountant will say the Vietnamese is richer because he owns his own house while the American is poorer because he had to go into debt to buy his house.  But to the Vietnamese living in the brick box, the American has more value because his house is bigger.

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

In Vietnamese society, appearance of richness is valued more.

Ah, when I get bored, I do often play this game, wear a very simple and old shirt and jeans, go to an expensive restaurant and see how they will serve

Ah, when I get bored, I do often play this game, wear a very simple and old shirt and jeans, go to an expensive restaurant and see how they will serve

Making assumptions and getting the situation wrong happens all the time in sales.

I read a great story once in actor Michael Caine's autobiography. He walked into a Rolls-Royce dealership on a Saturday morning, dressed, in his own words, “very scruffy”.

For a bit of fun, he pulled out a piece of paper – a Saturday morning shopping list basically – on which he had written: “Razor blades, toothpaste, Rolls-Royce, eggs…”

And Michael Caine says ‘Oh yeah, Rolls-Royce. How much is that one?”

The salesman said “How many do you want?” (laughs)

MC said ‘I only want one. Are you usually this rude to people who come to buy Rolls-Royces?'

Salesman said “Get out!”

So MC said ‘I'll tell you what, I'm going to call you next week, and I'm going to drive by here in a Rolls-Royce I've bought somewhere else and I'm going to give you a wave, okay?'

The salesman said “Get out!” (laughs)

And that's what Michael Caine did. He drove by and he gave the salesman a very particular wave.”

The wave was what was known in my youth as a “two finger salute”  and was not friendly.

Citsym,
  To piggyback on your story I can tell you this is real, at least in the car business. I once was a car salesman and we call this qualifying the "UP" (UP being a potential customer. We do it by the way they arrive at the lot as well as how they dress and other ways as well. I never did, and so I had many a great sale to the person the walked onto the lot in house shoes for example.
  But then too I always taught my children and my employees life is about selling yourself. Your first impression made is the lasting one, the one that will make or break you. It is just the way we work as humans I suppose, right or wrong.

if you're rich you don't need to dress rich.

My dear LamHoang,

I think that the question itself is confusing, "How different" assume that there IS a difference, is there?

"Love have nothing to do with money" mmmmm, let me think well... what do we love? we love those who brings us something, what ever it is, happiness, joy, pleasure, security, knowledge, stability, security, self esteem, and many more reasons...

Does money change something to that and make a difference? Yes, it does. But it doesn't mean that ONLY money can make a successful mariage and a happy family. In the best case it helps and makes life easyer, as it provides many of the things i listed above.

However, it won't work if its the only thing you got, money won't make you feel happy if one of the partner is never home, drinks every night or cheat, it won't make you enjoy his kisses neither.

I think that real love cannot exist without satisfaction, what ever your reason is to get married again, it depend mouch more on YOUR satisfaction, if you feel happy with a 60 years old man and you enjoy being with him, than it will work, why not?

But if you are getting married just because it provides safety to your son, then it won't work, as you won't feel any satisfaction for yourself, and please don't blame anyone as you made that choice for yourself. On his side your partner need to think about this too, what does he enjoy about you?   

About what other people think about it, it's irrevelant, what's important is what YOU and him think about it. Please choose carefuly, what ever your choice is...

I am still single after 3 years because I considered all those, and I know I did the best choice not to get engage, even though I really want to find my love because time is running out for me.

I just hope we can find the real one on time...

By the way, nice to meet you :-)

sorry for posting twice