Getting married in Ethiopia

Marrying an Ethiopian. Been there. Done that. My suggestion?  A very, very long engagement. Do not rush! Live "common law" like much of the population in Ethiopia. It's common for Ethiopians to live together without the marriage certificate. WHY? There are no benefits with marriage for the forenjis. Only to the Ethiopians.  With that said, here goes: You go with your betrothed to the city municipality and fill out an application form. Participate in this activity because the application deals with your first name, your middle name, and last name, your father's/mothers first and second name and your grandfather's/grandmothers first and second names.

It is REALLY confusing to complete for foreigners and it can easily be completed incorrectly for the official legal records. (Upon receipt, I saw that the document was far from correct, because I foolishly allowed my Ethiopian fiance to take care of the paper work because it was in Amharic.) Bring several passport pictures for your actual marriage certificate. For the marriage to be "official", you must have three friends/colleagues come with you **all together** at the same time to the municipality to sign the marriage book as witnesses to them knowing the bride and the groom. The bride and groom then sign the book as well. You pay the equivalent of about US$25. The bride and groom are each issued a colorful marriage certificate with your photos pasted on, and the usual multiple blue stamps to make it official and ...There you have it. You are married. No pomp or circumstance. People don't even dress up the occasion. (We wore blue jeans.) Some cultural advice...... When you marry an Ethiopian woman, you marry her family- her mother, her father, her multiple sisters, her multiple brothers, dozens of nieces and nephews. Be *prepared* to financially support some or even all of her family members during economic hard times which can be constant. You may be viewed as an ATM for the family. You may not enjoy feeling taken advantage of for you money in Ethiopia and let's not forget any assets you may have back in the states or elsewhere. She is entitled....

If you have *any* hesitations or doubts, do not get married. (That holds true globally.) Make sure that it is "true love" at work and not someone's desire for a greatly increased quality of life (your money), and a VISA/ plane ticket to the USA or elsewhere. Ethiopian women who marry foreigners with a few dollars lead *very* improved and pleasant lives.  Clothes, jewelry, shoes (lots of them), bigger and better housing for you and her extended family. ALSO:  Better be up front and discuss birth control (which is a taboo subject even among married couples here). Do you want children? Fine. Good luck. If you don't want children, you better talk about a firm commitment to contraception. You produce a child in marriage and the Ethiopian legal system will come down on you like a ton of bricks and see that it's an 18-year commitment by you even if the marriage does not work out (which most of them do not.)..OKAY, FAST FORWARD:  Perhaps in a year of so you will ask me about divorce in Ethiopia. Been there. Done that. **That** is the tricky part for a foreigner. You will need a REALLY good lawyer who is well skilled in both English and Amharic for yourself. They are rare. That's when you learn how really expensive life can become in Ethiopia. Perhaps that won't happen. Best of luck and may you live happily ever after in the 13 months of sunshine with your Ethiopian bride.

@tominharar ... I guess u got married to a wrong woman and I can guess that u got her from night clubs or bars ... well my point is most of the ladies in Ethiopia are not such kinds but rather caring and hardworking and loving ... I agree that u should spend some time together in order to know each other well and get married ... How u spend ur money is totally in ur control and u don't need to blame any one for that ... if need financial support then u need to marry an educated and financially good lady of ur choice ... my point is the scenario u have put together might happen to u but u should not generalize and confuse others with your wrong perception ...
Sorry but u need to be told ...
Masre

Thanks for sharing the reality of matrimony in Ethiopia and your knowledge and experiences (TomInHarar) as well as your knowledge of Ethiopian culture and values (Masre).

Money makes the world go around...and that is no exception any where...and surely not everyone in Ethiopia is resourceful.

Therefore, when a person marries one with financial resources, the culture factor kicks in even more readily and you quickly recall the cautions itemized by TomInHarar. It happens in joint families and families with extended ties.

Ethiopia is a cool and cultured country with a unique culture and religion in Africa...but not everyone is equal and poverty prevails over educated and well to do Ethiopians...like Masre indicates.

Therefore, I see nothing offensive or distasteful as Masre indicates with the caution that TomInHarar has listed.

In fact, I am very thankful fur such extensive and detailed writing to jog your mindset before you take the leap.

Thanks to you both TomInHarar and Masre.

Ron.

I read Masre's comment to my recent marriage blog and I was not, any way, offended. He was right- I married the wrong person which can happen anywhere in the world. I was- perhaps- a bit annoyed that he would suggest I might have married a bar girl (code for "prostitute" usually teen-aged, illiterate with children), but I married a university graduate with a decent job and pay. My missive was really written to and for forenjis who marry Ethioian women. Lots of information about marrying in that blog. Finally, just as I cannot walk in Masre's shoes (although I have lived in Ethiopia for years, it still does not matter), he will *never* truly know *my* world as a forenji male residing in Ethiopia. We are culturally different which should be expected. I do hope that my lengthy message is read by the *many* forenji men who get involved with Ethiopian women and contemplate marriage here or even from abroad. It may not be all bliss. If it can happen to me. Well..It can happen to them, too. Thank you for your comments, Masre and HappyRon.

I want to make a point that when you date you should be very carefull and 100% sure that money is not in the equation of relationship, especially when dating a foreighner. Unfortunately many foreigners will make money the winning streak to win the heart and mind of Ethiopian girls. This means they miscalculate right from the beginning and the outcome is the obvious. So the advice is 'do not bring your check book, but bring your broken heart'. I can assure you if u are apealing for an ethiopian girl through your money she may marry you but she will NEVER LOVE YOU. As Masre have said labor for her and do jot ever bring your money in to your equation, that will win her heart. It is well known what is happening for eastern European girls (the women trafficking) and prostitution that cover Asia, Europe and the Middle east. They are no different from their western counterparts but they are simply poorer. Living here in Ethiopia we have seen how the presence of AU and other International diplomatic presence help 'boost commercial sex business'. Most use their money to get at the women heart and get deeply wounded for that. My advise is Ethiopian women are the last to sell their hearts for a man with a fat wallet. Sure, they may give you their body. On top of that they are not looked very much highly in Ethiopia by dating a forighners (by the the 'wrong' assumption that they did it for money). they have this burden too. Remember unemployment and resource ownership is skewed very much towards men here and the only way to get rich is to marry a rich husband. As Masre has said get involved with the 'haves' of Addis girls and pass that necessary scrutiny and get over her heart. That is the proven way to end up with the right one. The other day I have a party and a friend of a friend come and she is married to a foreighner but was troubling everyone to get laid. I really symphtaize the poor husband. But generally speaking, If you get the right girl you will be treated like a Husband and they are extremly faithful If they are really in Love with you!!! Few women go out of wedlock when compared with Ethiopian men. Moreover, we have witnessed successful marriages (Karl Henz Bohm)...the other thing I want to ask you is how many Ethiopian women with a decent income and education (that security we need) get married to a foreigner (whether black or white or of course yellow? The answer is unbelievably very few. This is because there is generally a trend towards marrying your countrymen/women. The other thing is we must not forget that a woman who are really in need of financial liberty can be a trusted wife but she will have difficulty deserning her motives: do I marry this guy for his money or for himself??? Anyways this are my reflection and I will give you the room that you can not say it is very difficult to genralize...there is an element of bias in this:lol:

Tominharer I am not judging you and I am sorry for what happened to you.

I have been married to an Ethiopian women for 5 years. We meet in the UK - she was a student in the UK. We married in the UK under UK law. We returned to Ethiopia to get her a spouse entry clearance visa after her student visa expired. After 2 years she got her 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' in the UK based on our marriage. Then she became a British Citizen.

We decided it was a lot easy to marry in the UK and then have a church blessing in Ethiopia 'for the family' in Ethiopia.

I eventually got my ethiopian yellow card based on her Ethiopian birth.

ethiopia007 wrote:

I have been married to an Ethiopian women for 5 years. We meet in the UK - she was a student in the UK. We married in the UK under UK law. We returned to Ethiopia to get her a spouse entry clearance visa after her student visa expired. After 2 years she got her 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' in the UK based on our marriage. Then she became a British Citizen.

We decided it was a lot easy to marry in the UK and then have a church blessing in Ethiopia 'for the family' in Ethiopia.

I eventually got my ethiopian yellow card based on her Ethiopian birth.

Ethiopian Yellow card? What is this. I've been married to MOH for over 15years. Ups and downs but we always pull through.

Looking to move back to Ethiopia as I would rather be there than here (UK) at the present time. At least the Ethiopian economy is improving and is one of the best in Africa.

ubdai

If you have Ethiopian 'Heritage' but have never had Ethiopian Nationality - say your parents where or are Ethiopian - but you were born in the UK/USA ( Or have given up your Ethiopian Nationality by default - i.e you became a national of another country by marriage) you can apply to any Ethiopian Embassy for a Yellow Card or in Ethiopia at the Immigration Department - it is your choose - cost is $100 per Yellow Card. It has been recently reduced from $500 to encourage more Ethiopians to get the card.

As a 'Yellow Card Ethiopian' you have all the rights of a 'Ethiopian National' - except you cannot vote or take up public office. The spouse of an 'Ethiopian Yellow Card' holder is also eligible to get a Yellow Card - as long as you remain married - regardless of your heritage.

Why is there a 'Yellow Card' you ask yourself - under Ethiopian Law you cannot have duel nationality. So if an Ethiopian married a (in my case) a British Citizen they are not considered to be Ethiopian by Ethiopia - not my rule!!!! hence in theory when they go back to Ethiopia they must get a tourist visa.

To by-pass this rule the government introduced the yellow card to encourage 'ex-ethiopians' to bring in overseas money to the country. Hope this all makes sense. It would have been a lot easier just to allow duel nationality!!!!!!

A lot of good info here, I'm from Texas,Dallas. I have been here in Ethiopia for about 2 weeks had a good time with the young lady I'm with, but she never took me to meet her family is this the norm or should I be on the look out for bad thing's? we have been talking for a year now mostly on the phone & on-line. Yes she is a college grad so money is not the issue with us. how long is a good time to date before you get tired & call it off have any of you had this happen to you as a guy? just need to know ! will be leaving the 24th,04..

Masre wrote:

@tominharar ... I guess u got married to a wrong woman and I can guess that u got her from night clubs or bars ... well my point is most of the ladies in Ethiopia are not such kinds but rather caring and hardworking and loving ... I agree that u should spend some time together in order to know each other well and get married ... How u spend ur money is totally in ur control and u don't need to blame any one for that ... if need financial support then u need to marry an educated and financially good lady of ur choice ... my point is the scenario u have put together might happen to u but u should not generalize and confuse others with your wrong perception ...
Sorry but u need to be told ...
Masre

Masre, TominHarer is telling the truth.  I understand you tried to defend your Ethiopian sis.  But, speak the truth--I know truth hurts--you sound that you are hurt when TominHarrer brought up the ugly truth. You are absolutely wrong and in denial when you said   "....my point is the scenario u have put together might happen to u but u should not generalize and confuse others with your wrong perception ...".  TominHarer is not the only one this type of experience, there are many foreigners with the exact same experiences.  He is not confusing others rather your denial and cover up comment is confusing.  I believe it is you who needs to be told.  Stop denying and covering up the truth.

I am Ethiopian myself, but behind the beauty, hospitality and a unique culture in my Country there are great greediness, selfishness, meanness and corruptions in majority of the people too.  I am sad to say that most Ethio individual will hurt even their own sons, daughters, sisters, brothers etc. etc for money.  Do you know so many Ethiopian families pressure and demand their flesh and blood who live abroad to give and give and give and give them money endlessly. Even when they are well to do and have the resources to live a well to do living? Mark my point, I am not talking about those who are really poor and need money to survive, but those who take advantage of their own to get money out of them not to use it for basic necessity such as food, shelter and health but to buy stylish cloths, shoes, purses, jewelries, to go to a restaurant, party, movies, a house, a condo, a car etc. etc.  Do they think the person they are milking money out of have to pay living expenses where they live too?  They are told this over and over again but they don't care---as long as they get that money.   Oh, Masre, do you know there are too many families who disown their own because he or she doesn't have the amount of money to meet their money demand????  Do you know so many Ethiopian diaspora marriages broken up because of specially the women's families demand and pressure to get money out of her?  TominHarer just told you this truth.  Bate yekuterw beye betu yalwne ye zemde azmade genzbe botebatchnet and heart breakers.

So Masre, get the facts before you dismiss and criticize someone who is telling the truth.   

thanks @ fikirte ... that was wonderful and well said ... guys please don't generalize all Ethiopian women just by what happened to you ... have ever think that it might be your own selection mistake? or the way you handle ur relationship or the wrong way u base ur relationship? Did u give time to study our culture before making the commitment? I don't think so ... so it come back to u and only u ...
first do ur assignment and it will come out to be happily ever after ...
Masre

"Ethiopia Traveler Article:
Ethiopia: Be Careful Of Marriage In Ethiopia

You must be extremely careful in Ethiopia.  Not so much from thieves etc., but with relationships that you form there.  In the days of Haile Selassie, Ethiopia was a stable country, with a stable economy.  The people of Ethiopia were renowned for their character and integrity.  However, since the downfall of the Imperial Ethiopian Government, things have drastically changed.

     With the Derg Regime in power, which was like Pol Pots, regime in Cambodia, many of the educated people where forced to flee or they where killed.  That included everyone from a teacher to a basket maker.  As this new government has taken power, things have gotten somewhat better for some, but not enough for everyone.  There is poverty there that is truly heart-breaking, as you can see on the news; and the educational standards are not the same as in the west, though this is not the fault of the people.

   Some  Ethiopian men and women try to get married to a foreigner to get out of Ethiopia.  Once in the new country they will try to find a way to get out of the marriage using various stratagems.  Some will provoke a confrontation in the home so the police will intervene, so they can claim spouse abuse in the home.  That way, they can get rid of their married partner and still keep there residency papers.  Others will use their visas  to go to another country, with the help of contacts , instead of appearing before their married partner who will be left waiting in vain for their arrival.

     It is easier to marry a foreigner than to pay 10,000-50,000 dollars or euros for some one to arrange transit for them through the desert or Somalia, and Yemen.  These people are well organized, and have contacts in Europe and in the States.  And quite a few of these phony spouses do have boyfriends, husbands, and girlfriends in the background who are waiting to be brought to the host countries.  One of the saddest things is that the parents or family of these people are well aware of what is going on.  Behind all the smiling and I love yous is a heart-breaking tragedy.

     The Embassies and Justice systems in the Western Countries are now aware of this problem.  Of course this is not every Ethiopian who would do this, but be very careful as your future life and happiness could be affected.   If you think that you maybe a victim or about to be a victim of this, talk to someone about it." http://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g2937 … iopia.html

I found this thread most captivating because:
1. I am seriously involved with an Ethiopian woman
AND
2. I wrote a book about the very topic of guys being taken advantage of romantically - in particular in expat environments.

I can mention I wrote the book before I met her and I hope I won't be needing to apply my expertise on myself!

[Moderated: No free ad on the forum]

Mitch

(moderated: off topic)

Oh masre you are very rude for judging Tomlnharar who is telling us the true story the first place you jugging him he meet his wife in the night club typical your guys never stop giving wrong comment but you must be embarrassed when you know who she was hahah!!!


I am original from Ethiopia I don't understand why some of Ethiopian people like you why they never what to hear the truth always cover up the fact and pretend to be nice. I am sure you know it inside but you try to protect your sisters. Please grow up and move on ,you might not have a lot of experience western environment what is going on right now otherwise . How many girls do I know working even NGO and well educated but looking to marry western guys, when I said that of course not all Ethiopian girls but the fact is most of them now days they love to marry western to change them life style and to become rich or to have  better life  .  How many girls I saw in bole  or in Addis different areas  try to chat the western to get attention and steering at them it is honestly embarrassing   .

Even when I go holiday in Ethiopian girls asking me if I can find them a western husband because I live in Europe they even said they don't mind who it is and about his age.
The main thing is where ever in the world there are good people and bad people so just are careful and  be aware specially when it is not your culture and it is not your country. you can be out of the game even when you think you ar in the game . Everything seems nice in your relationship with the girl you meet. might be she is doing something else behind or she is with you because she think you are white and you have  money  and most of them they don't  want to live in Ethiopia that is the problem he love might come after the money for just advantage   . You can meet the right person the best thing to look for a bad signs for eg if she wants to marry you quickly and keep asking you money that is not a good and if she wants leave Ethiopia  and want to have western passport or USA passport .
I know there is   beautiful girls in Ethiopian and honest as well who will be a good wife  but not everyone and it is not easy as you think. The population is really high and hard to get good salary and to get a good job it is not easy in Ethiopia life when you see the Majority so I guess that is the reason like any other developing country what we can see the girls do in Thailand or Asia and Africa .so that is why also Ethiopian girls became materialist any way wish you good luck anybody who is looking to meet Ethiopia girls and thank you for sharing you real story and experience Tomlnharar we appreciated

@honeytg ... u said it yourself that there some who r good and some who r materialist so i was saying he should have known earlier before getting married and check what is the base of their relationship ... which one is u ... i guess since u r in Europe i can guess u r in the ? group ... any ways there r people here in Ethiopia who like to live and die with their pride untouched ... and i didn't for once generalize the ladies in addis ...

Maser you should real know one thing different culture it is not easy at all special when it comes to relationships.Everybody is hero  for your own culture and country !!!If you travel somewhere else completely different culture you are not in control.
you will have some bad and good experience trust me.
Specially if you come from western culture people they don't pretend they don't lie they speak the truth what ever they feel.
I know so many girls they think  western man they growth money on the tree for sure they would love to marry them and they pretend for years and so difficult to know who she is.

she will pretend for pure advantages so please relax and trust the truth please don't blame on western  who is really looking for real relationship.All I am saying don't be blind look for the bad signs and look different angel and you don't have to follow only her culture when it come to relationship you should follow 50%her of her culture and 50%your culture why do you have to follow 100%of her culture not fare  marriage means sharing together in both culture. It doesn't matter she earn good salary or not the many thing is she is good heart I wouldn't like to judge people who doesn't earn they are a bad people every human being is the same all matter is her character and she is a good heart Good Luck.

Hello all.I have just dropped in.  I am currently in a relationship with a beautiful young Ethiopian woman.  I am here in East Africa on a deployment and I am strongly considering bringinger her back  home with me to the United States at the end of my deployment.  Consequently, I have been researching the pros and cons of marrying an foreign woman of the Horn.  Therefore I have found the blog to be very informative.  I have been told to not marry an Ethiopian but perhaps a Somalian or Djibuitan because an Ethio woman is not to be trusted as she could get to America and leave me for an Ethiopian man.  This would indeed hurt me but then again she could leave me for any man or just want to leave and be on her own.  Furthermore, she is muslim as I am Chrisian but she wants me to convert to Islam. Crazy, I know.  But yet again I like her a lot and yes I did  meet her in a club.  Now while I have been out here on deployment I have met several ladies who wants the golden ticket to the U.S.A. But this lady and I really hit it off.  There are genuine things that I pick up within our relationship as it all feels so right.  We get alone great together and really enjoys each other's company.  I understand her life style pryor to her meeting me as I understand mine.  However, once again I do like her.  Perhaps bring her to the U.S. for marriage is a chance that I will have to take.  Unfortunately, in order for her to remain in the U.S. once she arrives, I would have to marry her in 90 days.  So once again, this may be a chance that I would have to take if I desire to salvage the relationship.  Any advice or criticism would be greatly appreciated.  Don't worry, I can take it.  Thanks, HOOAH!

@ Armand they might be all right suggesting you whatever it happens and is happining. what is his name or her name you said you are from ethiopia and trashing your own sisters if you know it you are trashing your self.

as the guy who is got a bad woman when we live with you guys it is all about money and when ethiopian live in ethiopia it is all about love and support families where you guys send you parents to home care and visit once in a month.

at the end all I want to say is when some one don't have an option how to support their family they even sale thier body in any world weather in ethipia or not we have seen it all at least she is not taking your money and buy drugs with it. she is supporting her family there is nothing wrong with that in ethiopia.

sorry for my english.

I know a Swedish man who has been married for more than 25 years. He said to me: ''if you marry an Ethiopian woman, you are the king the rest of your life''... He told me the romance and love story they had in Diredawa when he lived in Ethiopia.

He recommended me to marry a fellow Ethiopian girl since I am Ethiopian myself. But then I also know another couple that did not have good relationship. Mainly because he wanted to take her abroad and she wanted them to live in Ethiopia.

I know I know, this can not be the only truth, there can be good or bad ones. But is this so special in Ethiopia only or is it everywhere in similar countries? I think Ethiopia is not any different.

But for tominharar I am so sorry about what happened to you. Yes some of our girls could be very mean but please also know that there are successful marriages that I know. For example I know a girl who had a UN job with the best living standard and left for a ''European'' country knowing that she would not do any better by going there, actually he is a 'poor' young missionary and he earns much less than what she used to earn at her UN job. The hardship, language barrier etc etc she faced and continue to face are massive without mentioning that she could not get a job even if she had a UN experience. They are still happily married.

I think it was perhaps a naive thinking of saying that oh they are sweet and none of them would hurt me. To cut it short they are as human as any where else, you might find a loyal and loving woman who does not care about your background or the other way.

My worry is that such blog might frighten people from having their comfortable couple time because of some people having bad experience and paint every one in the same color.

As any where be cautious and try to read her intentions and motives behind what she does and says.

Armand wrote:

Hi all,

We invite all the ones who got married in Ethiopia or who are about to get married in Ethiopia to participate in this thread

What are the formalities to get married in Ethiopia? Is it the same for a couple of foreigners of for a mixed couple (between a foreigner and a native of Ethiopia)?

Are the procedures complicated?

How long does it take to carry out all the formalities?

Thank you in advance for participating,

Armand

Many Ethiopian girls are so sweet only if you know how to decipher their codes before you marry them

I wish it wasn't true for me but it is.  I am currently seperating from my wife I think becasue of money.  But 2 years ago I was working in Japan making 90k a year and getting ready for tryouts to box in Tokyo.  She was so opsessed with working I left all that for her and now I regret it.  Now that I gave away so much and life is not what she expected she is wanted to go back the middleast and try again.  Mind you she has only had American boyfriends all her life.  I am heart broken and angry at the same time because we have a 1 year old son together.  It is very sad and pathetic.

hi there,
Getting married in Ethiopia really depends on which part of Ethiopia are you marring and who you are marring.in some parts it is really complicated and expensive...very expensive, in some very simple and modern.Is it traditional or modern..... good luck my brother

Hi to everybody,

i have a simple question:

do you get a residence visa to stay in Ethiopia after you get married to an ethiopian?  is it indefinite residence visa or is it necessary to renew it every time?
if you get divorced, can you keep the residence visa?

thanks to all, it was very interesting to read all your comments about marrying in ethiopia, everybody is right in his/her own view.

Wow I cannot believe that you Ethiopian men are trashing your own women. The women that carried you in their body and that You so called men is willing to let any Tom Dick or Harry come into YOUR country and trash YOUR women. No one asked any of those foreigners (illegals) to come into YOUR country anyway. They are there mainly for exploitation of not only the lands, its resources but also the people. YOU all had better look at the history of the people that you are so quick to defend.The ones that have brought to your lands in the form of HIV to aid you your country men. Solution bring your own women and you will have no problem Right?(maybe not, since it is obvious thats why you want someone elses women). The African country and continent is in trouble in the worst way since you all have allowed the devil into the mist! You had better remember this continent (Africa) have been in existance long before any Other nations rose to power and indeed taught the barbarians civilization how to be civilized from Timbuktu. Africa is a DARK continent so why are you all there. I know who you are the ones that have pretend to bring peace with war weapons of mass distruction and bioligical warfare against a peaceful people. Yes YOU! you have brought nothing but war, poverty, death and destruction to every nation across this earth that have foolishly allowed you in. How DARE!!! any of you others to blog about how bad it is in Africa! because it is that way because of the people like YOU. You all have envaded the lands of a beautiful peaceful people and of course bringing with you a religion and a GOD that YOU don't believe in. Judging by your past and present malicious history of death, distruction mayhem, thievery and your take over spirits YOU DO NOT BELIEVE! when you enter other lands most are considered a paradise when you leave if ever it is hell in the worst way ask the American Indians, oops you can't they are all mostly dead;500 nations of native americans men women and babies. Africa you had better stand your ground before you find yourselves like the Native Americans a people NOW without a land, a GOD, with a dead culture and are called aliens in their own home land! Thats exactly where you will find yourselves if you get lulled asleep and forget who it is that you are dealing with and is not very very careful not to get dupted in the process!!!!


Lost lioness In the belly of the Beast

@1World,
Your situation is a no brainer. You have few red flags!

@tominharar,
My heart goes out to you. Owing to poverty in the country, your experience is about the norm.

@mitchv,
Your real objective was to sell a book, but didn't work!

@Masre,
A tad defensive!

Hello all.

To note that the thread title is Getting married in Ethiopia. Kindly stick to the initial topic.

Thank you,
Aurélie

I know it sucks !! when you thought the person you fell in love with and want to spend the rest of your life isn't your true soulmate. I am in ethiopian i married my wonderful husband Liam:) when i was 20 (while i was still in UCLA)I met my wonderful husband when i was in high school. I knew the first time i saw his beauitful blue eyes looking at me i knew ,i was going to marry him . I always knew he was a keeper, i know how hard it is to marry ethiopian its not easy but it isn't your fault or anyother guys fault. Ethiopian people want other ethiopians to marry their own kind.The pressure is very hard dude ! (my husband knows it all to well). My family really didn't want me marrying white:mad::mad i knew that so i didn't want all that drama so me and liam went to las vegas and tied the knot. My family was mad at me for months and months but i didn't care because i love my husband with every fiber of my being and i realized this was my life and my heart. I realized my first duty is not to my family it was to my heart! so i followed my heart and later on they came around. The probably this days with Ethiopia women is they feel like there duty is to their families and not to there heart .  (which sucks)

Masre wrote:

thanks @ fikirte ... that was wonderful and well said ... guys please don't generalize all Ethiopian women just by what happened to you ... have ever think that it might be your own selection mistake? or the way you handle ur relationship or the wrong way u base ur relationship? Did u give time to study our culture before making the commitment? I don't think so ... so it come back to u and only u ...
first do ur assignment and it will come out to be happily ever after ...
Masre

i am in ethiopian i married white i know it to well. The problem these days is that ethiopia girls act like their first duty is to their family.

"...Ethiopian girls act like their first duty is to their family"

I can't agree with Rebecca more!

And that stems mainly from the economic situation in the country.

Another similar situation is in the Philippines where it is a given that the man has to monthly support the lady's family.

Again the economic situation in the Philippines, similar to that of Ethiopia, leaves a lot to be desired!

tominharar wrote:

I read Masre's comment to my recent marriage blog and I was not, any way, offended. He was right- I married the wrong person which can happen anywhere in the world. I was- perhaps- a bit annoyed that he would suggest I might have married a bar girl (code for "prostitute" usually teen-aged, illiterate with children), but I married a university graduate with a decent job and pay. My missive was really written to and for forenjis who marry Ethioian women. Lots of information about marrying in that blog. Finally, just as I cannot walk in Masre's shoes (although I have lived in Ethiopia for years, it still does not matter), he will *never* truly know *my* world as a forenji male residing in Ethiopia. We are culturally different which should be expected. I do hope that my lengthy message is read by the *many* forenji men who get involved with Ethiopian women and contemplate marriage here or even from abroad. It may not be all bliss. If it can happen to me. Well..It can happen to them, too. Thank you for your comments, Masre and HappyRon.

I am sorry this happened to you !! i hope you know that no all ethiopia girls are not like that !! i am good example . I hope you know its never to late to find the right girl!NEVER!

mitchv wrote:

I found this thread most captivating because:
1. I am seriously involved with an Ethiopian woman
AND
2. I wrote a book about the very topic of guys being taken advantage of romantically - in particular in expat environments.

I can mention I wrote the book before I met her and I hope I won't be needing to apply my expertise on myself!

[Moderated: No free ad on the forum]

Mitch

How cute !! u remind me of my husband kind of . I hope you get whatever you are hoping for , i hope you won't need the book to !!

Sincerely,
Rebecca Morgan

To everyone who reads this blog, please read this link. It has some very good info.

http://www.mwakilishi.com/content/artic … cases.html

Thanks MReagan!
It is a good safety net for the citizen! And those who entered marriage in good faith (non-citizens) should be cognizant of the laws.

(moderated: offensive language)

Rebecca Morgan wrote:

mitchv wrote:

I found this thread most captivating because:
1. I am seriously involved with an Ethiopian woman
AND
2. I wrote a book about the very topic of guys being taken advantage of romantically - in particular in expat environments.

I can mention I wrote the book before I met her and I hope I won't be needing to apply my expertise on myself!

[Moderated: No free ad on the forum]

Mitch

How cute !! u remind me of my husband kind of . I hope you get whatever you are hoping for , i hope you won't need the book to !!

Sincerely,
Rebecca Morgan

You're not Ethiopian. Rebecca is an American name. Stop lying