American girl to marry saudi amd move to riyadh

Shall we call this guy! This thread is so last year - whats he got in his shisha!

Alliecat wrote:

Talwar, is it possible for you to say anything without making huge generalizations?

I obediently await your reply, on my knees.

*snicker*

Hey, you forgot to ask for his permission to talk (post ur reply), you dis-obedient woman !!!

Sparrow wrote:

Shall we call this guy! This thread is so last year - whats he got in his shisha!

y do i have a feeling that u r more interested in his shisha

1. GOOD LUCK
2. DO IT ONLY IF HE HAVE ALOT OF MONEY TO SPEND WITH AND FOR YOU IN MALS .
3. mAKE A PRE MARIAGE CONTRACT YOU KNOW JUST IN CASE
4. WHY YOU DONT FORGET IT !!!

Hello MICAHLIS,

Could you please post in lower caps please. Thanks for your kind comprehension.

amyasb,

it depends from person to person , don't step to marry saudi till you make sure that he does some scrifices , Iam saudi national , and I got Green Card Recently to be in america to start my buisness there as an investor to open one resturnat to seek US nationality , I worked here for almost 10 yrs , and I recently engaged with one saudi girl , really the life with saudi girl is totally miserable , it depends from person to person ,I divorced her since she was demanding and asking un-believable things , it is impossible by any oridnary guy like me to satisfy her requirements , only princes or king might accept her request , thanks to allah [Moderated: please keep this for you] we were engaged and we talked to each other through the telephone and mobile for almost 6 months.

amyasb wrote:

i have decided not to marry him.  when he told his family he wanted to marry an american girl, they said no.  as an independent american woman, i cannot accept a man that is a puppet of his family.  i have appreciated all of the posted replies.  all of you had excellent perspectives:)

Oh, what a great relief on your part...coming at last with a final decision!This is a smart move and don't regret on it! Decision determines destination but  intentions don't. Cheerio and stay free and happy! there are still many fish in the ocean and you can always choose the best who can love you and make you happier as who you are and not what you ought to be.All the best!

Just you are right , Thanks to god that I got green card after my divorce here in saudi arabia , I was depressed but now iam not since i open my eyes to life , thank you expat-blog

i actually didnt marry and go to saudi.  after my saudi moved back and we broke up, he called me 6 months later to ask me to marry him that his parents accepted.  at that point i said no.  so his family arranged a marriage with another girl.  so i dated another saudi after that for a year, he promised to marry me, promised me everything under the sun, said his family was coming to meet me and propose marriage in the summer.  he went on a 'vacation' back to saudi, and then told me a month later that he was never coming back, and that it was somehow all my fault. 
so i am really mad, specifically because this summer i was offered a very lucrative job in abu dhabi, and i asked him if i should sign the contract and he bagged me not to because he was coming back to the states to marry me.
come to find out, he secretly graduated without telling me, and had been planning to never come back the whole time, after promising me for a year that he would never do that.
i would be fine that he just left, but i am soooooooo mad that i passed up a great job that i really wanted because he wasnt ready to tell me the truth, which to this date, he still hasnt been honest.
one thing that was good advice from americans married to saudis was to check their concept of honesty.  check their long list of double standards.  i am not suprised at all at what happened....i just fell like the biggest idiot ever, because if anyone shouldve known better, it shouldve been me.
now i am single, happy, and hoping to find a similar job for the next shool year in UAE...inshallah:)

@Amy: damn thats tough!! twice!
And chin up! things will somehow work out for you. keep applying at various places. Things can only go up from here..

thank you guys:) 
inshallah i will find another good job in uae for next year.  my job here in the states is great, so i have no right to complain.  i just really want the expat lifestyle and live in more of an international community.  as far as finding an american man, there is NO way...lol.  i could never marry american...ever!  european or moderate middle eastern are the only options, otherwise i can stay single and be without any headache at all;)lol
so, yes i am looking for a job in uae, of course it has to pay more than i make here in the states, but as soon as i find one, i am ready to go;)

inshallah all my heart with you amy , you deserve the lucrative job, hope to meet you soon as well , allah aalmgihty bless you steps sister .

Hi

I have known many westerners that have had nervous breakdowns after going to Saudi Arabia.  No matter how many books you read and how open-minded you think you are, the culture shock can be huge.  It is a few years since I worked in Riyadh, and I doubt if things have changed a lot, but I found it very stressful, but a great adventure as well.
The Saudis are very conservative, especially in Riyadh.
When I was there, some guy tried to import Christmas trees - not a good idea because they put them in the square and burnt them, then put the guy in jail/gaol.
One thing I will never forget though is when I accidentally left my wallet containing my passport, driving license, Iqama(ID), and about US$ 20,000 in cash on the roof of my car after washing it.

BTW, where else would your bank manager invite you in to his office for coffee, enquire about your health and well-being, before dealing with the business?

My Saudi neighbour found my wallet and returned it to me later - thank you my dear Saudi friend!  So they are very honest - but, from a western viewpoint, can be very intolerant of disrespect.
Being American is a big plus though.  British not so good.  Irish are regarded as 'people of great spirit', quoting my Saudi boss.

I wish all of you the best of luck.

amyasb wrote:

thank you guys:) 
inshallah i will find another good job in uae for next year.  my job here in the states is great, so i have no right to complain.  i just really want the expat lifestyle and live in more of an international community.  as far as finding an american man, there is NO way...lol.  i could never marry american...ever!  european or moderate middle eastern are the only options, otherwise i can stay single and be without any headache at all;)lol
so, yes i am looking for a job in uae, of course it has to pay more than i make here in the states, but as soon as i find one, i am ready to go;)

It is never too late to start anew...Goodluck to your adventure to the "Land of Oasis"...

thank you;)
shukran and eid mubarak!

Eid Mubarak

In my opinion, the Saudi men these days have open mind. The Saudi people now are mostly educated. i met some Americans ladies married to Saudi. As they said, they are happy for living with them. Also, it depends on you, the way how to deal with him.

So, welcom to Saudi Arabia, and congratulation

Hi amyasb,
my hubby and i were reading ur blogs and were curious to know what the outcome was. and to our relief we found out that u finally did not marry a Saudi guy.... it was a wise choice.
We r currently working in Riyadh and are well accustomed to the culture and the people here and just a simple advice, pls dont waste ur life over someone u love. Wish u all the best for a good job in UAE, and a loving man who will keep u happy forever.

you are very sweet:)  thank you for the well wishes.

i would be fine that he just left, but i am soooooooo mad that i passed up a great job

May be get a better deal

[Moderated]

Sorry to jump in late on this theatrical thread (I'm cracking up from reading these pages) but it looks like you dodged the bullet twice. Don't go for the third one, you might not be so lucky.

Seriously. Don't! Just say no.

just do not do it.. ask him to move to USA. I am dying here and I have been here for only two week.

Sam.

Hello,
     I didnt move to Saudi, nor do I have any intension to at this time.  I am single and headache free:)

I suggest that you invite his family to USA and see how they will act arround you. other than that if you come to Saudi Arabia, try to pospone giving birth until u are sure its the right thing to be done. for me, i love saudi arabia, i started a company here and will stay here. its a good place to stay with the family ( Parents or Wife ). there are great international schools were your kids will live the school life as if they are in USA but its a little bit costy, 11th grade will pay arround 16,000 USD ! but they will meet girls and go parties along with quality education ! if your looking for a calm life with no much action ! Saudi Arabia will be the best place to do so ! its all about family and money ! if he can pay then you should give it a try !

Saudi? really? i mean Seriously??!!

amyasb wrote:

Hello,
     I didnt move to Saudi, nor do I have any intension to at this time.  I am single and headache free:)

if there was a "like" button, i would click it!!

lool;)

OMG! lol I was reading the whole post from page 1 with all comments, it was a great story lol, I swear to god I was so nervous. Thank god you didn't marry him, Amyasb it does really take time to find a real different, well open-minded Saudi man, you should really be careful from this point of view, not every open minded person is good enough. I'm Saudi, and now days there is a lot of educated Sadui's now. UAE is the best, I recommend yo take a jobd there,especially Dubai it's so nice there. The only thing is that you can't save a lot of money in UAE lol, there is a lot to do there. I wish you a very good luck, and GOd I wish Men can see deeper in their relatioship and be honest with the once they love. I wish you to marry the man who will see into your heart and deep in you emotions, so in this case he won't leave you or hurt you!. Have A blast, Life is yours, make it a grand festival Amyasb. Hope you doing fine in your life

Hi

I have been reading the replies to this post for a while,and was not planing at all to comment, because people can always give information help others make their decisions about life matters, they may also help with advice to go for one option and leave the other, when the subject is not severe, but I do not understand people giving definite advice and use so many encouraging words to go for a choice they know nothing about it...Here i'm not commenting about Amyasb decision, because she is the only one knows all the factors and can figure out the suitable for her. But I'm surprised of people gave her all the factors to fear that man ..fear life in Saudi Arabia, even some of them commented about love, emotions, heart... and all similar statements that can fit any human but it's not suitable when discussing a specific person's life...

I feel sorry because many comments where not fair, and allowed themselves to judge the man without knowing him, what if he is an exceptional man? is not there many exceptional men came out of this culture and other similar Arab cultures, married to westerns living almost perfect lives...I know personally more than one...

I'm surprised of people maybe never met true love and advising to find true love, how do you know this man is not the one on earth who will love this lady the most, in life I saw of lost love more than finding it, who can guarantee to this lady she will find the best later and he is not this man, so he is enthusiastically congratulating her for rejecting his marriage offer.

I wish if people be fair and do stop themselves from hurting others...and when you do not know...the safest is to keep silent, because if you talk there is a big chance you will hurt others.

I have an assumption and wish everyone sent a definite advice  to accept or reject that offer(not information about culture and the country) to answer it if he/she was honest:

What if this man was a very good man, he can handle his family matters in a way it does not affect his marriage, and he loved the lady in a way she may stay long to meet another with the same amount of love, respect understanding and everything else is good...and what you said was the factor made her leave him, or if he was the opposite man and you enthusiastically encouraged her to marry him. how would you feel  if she followed your advice? and how will you console her then? How will you console him?

What if you contributed to a man's  or a woman's suffering by encouraging without knowing anything about those people and their lives?

I do not want to offend anyone, but I also have to advise the good people out there  to be careful on the internet, a simple-minded person may post the words of a wise man, and you can never  know who is there behind the keyboard....It's really a shame .

amyasb wrote:

thank you guys:) 
inshallah i will find another good job in uae for next year.  my job here in the states is great, so i have no right to complain.  i just really want the expat lifestyle and live in more of an international community.  as far as finding an american man, there is NO way...lol.  i could never marry american...ever!  european or moderate middle eastern are the only options, otherwise i can stay single and be without any headache at all;)lol
so, yes i am looking for a job in uae, of course it has to pay more than i make here in the states, but as soon as i find one, i am ready to go;)

Amy,
Sorry to hear about your romantic ordeal. Love and learn though. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I'm curious though as to why an "independent" educated woman allowed a man to dictate whether she takes a job or not?  You should have made a decision based on what was best for YOU. I know when we are in a relationship we try to include our partners, but honestly, if we are not married, there is no obligation to do so. You really should not have put off a professional advancement opportunity for a man that is not your husband.

I hear you bashing American men and while they are different, you seem to be having a hard enough time with Middle Eastern men. So why are you so against American men? Everyone has repeatedly shared how difficult relationships and family mixing with ME men will be and you've experienced heartache with them twice, yet you still have them near the top of the list.  You may be cutting off your own nose to spite your face.  If you keep seeking something that is not good for you, chances are you will end up with it.  You seem to have dodged a bullet twice, that could be fate.  The third time you may not be so lucky.

All the best in love.

Hello expats. I am new here.

I have been working here in KSA for around 3 years now. I am working in a clinic and lets say "seen the ups and downs of Saudi married life"...

Sad to hear what happened amy...

And believe me amy, you just saved yourself from a LOT of trouble (mentally, physically, socially and emotionally)...

hindsight is 20/20 for sure!  i am certainly not set on finding someone and settling down at this time.  i am focusing on myself, my life, my career, and my travels:)  i have tried "dating" recently with a few americans, and other ethnicities....nothing of interest at all yet, but really, i not even really looking.  i am single, i am happy this way.  i have 3 vacations planned between now and the end of the year....toronto for a week to see fall foliage leaving tomorrow, los angeles for november, and december probably thailand, vietnam, and cambodia.....so really i have no complaints:)
life is good.
i have a clear head, clear heart, healthy body, hamdililah:)

nice amy.

good luck on all you endeavours...

(Moderated: Expat.com is NOT a dating website)

There are many online matrimonial portals out there; unfortunately Expat-Blog is not one of such kind. With that said, the only thing you can do is to post an advertisement in the category 'Personal >> Men Seeking Women'

All the Best.

So ... we went from being an employment site to being a match making site! I'm not sure it's a step up

This place (click here) has lots of marriage ads but I think they're mostly Indian/Pakistani looking for Indians/Pakistanis.

Good luck.

Well, im in the opinion that it was a 'fortunate' string of events that eventually led amy not to marry (any of the) saudi guy she dated...
With regards to a woman (non-saudi) marrying a saudi man, i'll just take heed of the advice, and quote a line of a saudi guy that I humbly admired, Mr.Tariq Al Maeena.
He says, in response to the interview question by the American Badou concerning foreign women who are engaged in a relationship with a Saudi man?  "...The best advice I can give is: don't be deluded by the romance of the desert and run as far away as you can" ...
http://taraummomar.blogspot.com/2011/01 … s-non.html

Point to ponder ....

Would Amy have received this number of replies had she not posted her display picture ?

I know that its a complete deviation from the topic but am asking since the issue Amy posted has already been resolved and she seems to be living "happily ever after" .

BAK wrote:

Point to ponder ....

Would Amy have received this number of replies had she not posted her display picture ?

Good Observation !! But dont want to comment anything else......