To my way of thinking there's a great difference between accidentally reading a message when the phone has been given to you, than deliberately snooping through messages without your spouse's knowledge or consent.
The first is accidental and forgiveable, the second is an outright invasion of privacy and shows a total lack of respect and trust for one's partner
Just think about this for a moment...
You may have access to your wife's purse, but does that give you the right to go snooping around in it??? Absolutely not, unless of course you have been given express permission to get something out of the purse for her. If your husband went rummaging around through your purse without your consent or even your knowledge you would feel that it was a complete invasion.
Same if your wife went snooping around through your wallet without your knowledge. It is not about not having anything to hide, it's about RESPECT for the other person's privacy.
I've never seen inside a woman's purse in my lifetime, not my mother's purse and not my wife's... the contents are NONE OF MY BUSINESS. I have often been asked to get something out of a purse. I flatly refuse to do so, because it's not my place to be rooting around in there. In exactly the same way I would never go sneaking around reading messages or checking to see who's telephone numbers are on the speed dial of my wife's phone. NONE OF MY BUSINESS, GROSS INVASION OF PRIVACY and COMPLETE LACK OF RESPECT AND TRUST.
Cheers,
James Expat-blog Experts Team