Problem of being an introvert expat

Hi blitzerr77,  thats a wonderful piece of writing and ohh so true.
I guess we live in a world where we lack the real role models. Where the present generation relies on so called models to emulate them and try their hardest to be like these so called models. Ouchh.
But then again I guess if we are far away from our countries we just have to make the most of what we have.
We cannot change people but we can make a change within ourselves.
What about your fellow countrymen? Do you not have clubs that you could join and make friends? I'm sure at some point you will meet people who want to live a simple life.
Good luck and hope you find what you're looking for.

Hello blitzerr77,

Just a couple of points I'd like to make here for you to consider:

Firstly, you don't need to be affluent to be a successful expat and to assimilate into the society of your host country. You need only take an interest in learning the country's culture, history, traditions, the language of the country and wish to take them on for yourself. You make friends because you actively choose to do so. Likewise you do not make friends, because whether you know it or not, that is also an active choice. Perhaps on an unconscious level, but a choice all the same.

You do not have to completely turn your back on your origins in order to sucessfully adapt to expat living either, in fact that is probably counterproductive. Your origins make you who you are, make you an individual. They are what is going to be of interest to others and attract them to you. Expats always get asked about their homeland, asked to tell stories of what life there is like, etc., etc., etc.

Embracing what your roots are, what they've made you is not the same as guarding them tenaciously and trying simply to replicate them in your new surroundings. Regardless of where you choose to live, you are never truly "one of them", even if you naturalize. You will always be first and foremost an Indian citizen, like it or not. Is that really carrying around a lot of "baggage" with you, or simply acknowledging your roots? You can't simply divorce yourself from who you are. Also, trying to do so is simply counterproductive to the process of adaptation to where you are.

It sounds to me, like you're going to have difficulty in adapting to expat life no matter where you go because you're having a difficult time deciding just exactly WHO you are and what you want in life. You have to come to terms with that first of all, then the rest will follow naturally.

I came to Brazil from Canada over 13 years ago now and have never looked back. The two countries, and their cultures are as different as night and day. The people (their attitudes, desires, etc.) however are very similar in many ways. I put my mind to blending the two cultures, not turing my back on who I was, but taking on as much of the new culture as I possibly could. I'll always be a Canadian, but now (and I've been told this by almost everyone here who knows me) I have a Brazilian SOUL.

Finding other expats here in such a vast country is not easy, so if I had decided to lock myself within the "protective bubble" of my home culture, I would have been in serious trouble from the very beginning. Yet, I also understood from the outset that I am different, I will never be "one of them", and know what? They don't expect that of me.... I'm a Canadian, that has adopted them and their country, but what is more important is that THEY HAVE ADOPTED ME.

Cheers,
James      Expat-blog Experts Team

I'm just surprised an introvert would expose himself so... but, to be honest I didn't quite read it all... Too long.
If you really want to make friends, stop whining about how hard it is and put yourself out there.

Hi Missmash , Thanks for your reply . Firstly I am a bit surprised as I thought I will be getting responses from Bahrain only if it is posted in Bahrain forum . I dint knew it can be seen by everyone . Thanks for your wishes . i am trying but have been disappointed a few times already as people mostly look out for things I mentioned , and their idea of fun resonates the same as well . Nothing wrong in that , everyone for himself , but yeah I feel uncomfortable in that .
Well I wish you were in Bahrain , m sure we would have got along

Thanks again .

Hi @James , oops sorry I guess tagging doesn't work here .
Thanks for your reply and you taking time and giving thought and consideration to whatever I wrote . i appreciate that . I agree with most of what you said . I agree you dont need to be affluent to be successful expat and assimilate in host nation , but I was talking purely from my experience ( particularly in Bahrain ) . It was much better in Africa . Here you dont see people walking in streets . They hardly walk . You just see cars and cars. people go to malls for fun , or  spend time in restaurants , and joints and pubs or bars . and yeah for expat community ..umm what to say , there are formal gatherings , parties yes ..but I am hardly of that kind . I am not complaining , I am just sharing . I know there are people enjoying it to the fullest .

I am not ashamed of my roots . that was not what i meant . And ofcourse I'll be an indian wherever I go . Sorry if my writing make u feel otherwise . I am pretty proud of where I came from . The baggage I was talking about , was more cultural . I know its hard to understand for westerners . And few western friends I made also could not quite grasp what it means to belong to a highly traditional and religious Indian family . Western society is individual centric , and its individual choice and happiness that counts most . In our case it is family or community centric . I am neither religious nor I care much about the community I belong to . I believe all humans are same . If you have interacted with lot of indians , you'll know what I am talking about . I have let go off many unwanted things , but few I cant sadly . Because although i dont believe in them , letting them means cutting off from my family . Its hard to explain here ..but thats there.

Well since Its a public forum , dont wanna say a lot of things ..But I really again appreciate your thoughts . Thanks .

Hi Lindochka ,
Hehe , I was expecting more responses like that . Being introvert doesnt mean you have to stay anonymous . and we are the best sitting behind our computer screens and writing pages and pages of theories which we make in our mind . Not whining dear , just sharing . If you and others think that I should not be sharing thoughts like this here , I will remove the post .

Cheers .

good luck

Hi blitzerr77

A chit chat at a cafe? I am available.

PS: no need to remove your post at all. This is what the Forum is for.

OP. Keep posting your blog on this thread.
I'm enjoying the read.

Cheers.