Falling in love with a jordanian guy

oic, thank you for your reply sherrio...

although i am Filipina, i was born and raised in the U.S.  This Jordanian man and i have crossed paths here in the states.  I didnt realize that was the case.

I would like to think that he is open minded and that life here is completely different.  If that 's the case, then i'm glad i posted here because i didnt realize the prejudices going on.

I am actually a college graduate and work as a professional here in a very large well known firm.

in that case, i guess i should just really be careful and really control how i feel about him.  he might just be missing home, etc.

and maybe having me as a friend comforts him... or rather, we enjoy each other's company....

i just kind of googled...dating a jordanian man and stumbled upon this forum and that's how i ended up here... very eye opening...

i understand there are many people from the philippines and people throughout asia who go to different countries like the middle east MAINLY because there are no jobs in their own country... resorting to such jobs and most importantly, separation from their own families is what these people have to face...

to be judged for it is simply sad.  but it's how they keep their families alive.

hi sherrio, yes, thank you for that....i truly appreciate your posts.  that is exactly why i posted here so i can find out about what it's like, different views etc.  i'm sorry if my post sounded as if i was offended.  im not.  : )  it's more eye opening for me.  ever since i started to get to know this man, i have done more research... and in this research,  yes, i have also discovered there are many people from different countries in asia who go to different countries like the middle east in order to earn a living...and yes, the reality is that they are looked down upon.

i guess that's just the way it is...anyway, this man and i have met in the united states and i truly have NO intention of even living in Jordan....

i'm just curious as i have only dated filipino men and caucasian men... never someone from the middle east....


thank you for your response 

This is love and relationship not home work to do research,Every one is totally different than the other,No one is like other .
if he's Jordanian that dose not mean he is like other Jordanian man.
So Judge him for what u see and hear from Him,not by others.
----
Chris

^^^Then how would u know?

u should just trust God first. but yes be careful. a friend of mine had 3 kids from her husband, still his family insisted he marry his cousin as a second wife because they wanted him to marry an arab. my husband is arab, so i am familiar with the culture. u need to tell him u want to meet his family. if his family is overseas, then insist to speak to them by phone (a relative of his that speaks fluent English). You have to ask direct questions to his family regarding his character, history, etc. Arabs are honest people. They will answer any questions u have about their family member if u r interviewing for marriage, but u must ask them directly to get the answers. Also, if u have any arabic speaking friend that u trust, they can interview the family for u and find out neccessary information for u. Normally, this is something ur father would do for u because this is done at the family level. Anyhow may God guide u in ur decision and keep ur faith strong.

Girl stay away from arab guys at the end of it they're all closed minded people trust me. I went down there for like 2 weeks and i  lost it. every one there is soo hard headed you can never change there mind about anything. Its 2011 you would think they would have advanced a little bit.

wow! moud23 those r pretty harsh words. i dont think its right to judge all of a race just because of one bad experience. there is good and bad in every nationality. and also God does not judge man while he is still living, so why should we judge man while he is still living? im sorry u had a bad experience, but trust me not all arabs r as u described. they r very hospitable and courteous people. my husband is from palestine and his family is so wonderful and loving. it sounds like u r the one with a closed mind by the way u r judging people.

     @baboy.pugad, i hope u can keep ur heart and mind open to this man. just trust in God and whatever is meant to happen will happen. Everything is in God's hands and HE does not give us any burden we cannot bear.

baboy.pugad wrote:

hello all,

i am new to this board.  i'm writing because i have fallen in love with a jordanian man.  he is a christian like i am which is perfect because we share the same religion etc.

just wondering how it is like to date someone from jordan.  i've gotten to know him really well and so far, everything he has shown me has been so wonderful...  i'm just afraid because i've never really dated anyone from the middle east and people have told me to be careful.  in general though, we should be careful with who we date but i wish i can know more about him.  and how do i know if he's telling me the truth.

reading through the thread, i notice many girls falling in love with a jordanian guy but in the end, they break their hearts because they marry someone from jordan.  or they have an arranged marriage as well etc.  which is sad

i really like him a lot and i think he likes me too... we are going out again this weekend.  so far, our dates have been friendly etc.  he knows my view on marriage and sex etc... that i am not willing to give myself to any man until we marry so i know he's not using me for sex.

i want to think that what we have is going to be always pure and good... but im scared to fall deeper in love because what if he has someone back home in jordan.

he's such a good guy.

a lot of girls from all over the world are falling for Jordanian guys, we must be doing really good

Anyways as for you escapade, in Jordan there are traditions and though meeting a girl and dating for a while has become the modern way of going at it, still the traditions are mostly followed at the finally.

One very important of them all is that you have to meet the family, and his mother will have to consent you first, or at least that's how its normally done, if that's not happening then it's not solid or you haven't reached that stage yet.

lust is definitely better hhhhhh

Hi, That's right.. each person has different own his views,,and My fiance is Jordanian too. we are getting married in Amman very soon.I find out Jordanian families are polite if they are well educated. I was surprised that once they accept me even I m different religion with them..so, try to know him better and speak with his family...
I wish you good luck..!

So long as you follow all the procedures in the Jordanian tradition you should succeed. May Allah guide and bless you both. My Jordanian fiance and I are Muslim, but the cultural traditions are mostly the same. Consent of the parents, chaperoned meetings until engagement, etc. It would have been very tough for us if his mother had not liked me, VERY HARD. Its important you get her to approve of you above all else.



And btw, lust is NOT better than love.

This is what I know about Middle Eastern men, I was in a relationship with an Iraqi for 10 months, dated an Iranian (Persian) man also. Woman are looked down on, and considered inferior, not equal. They will date as many woman as they can to sow their wild oaks before they choose a woman from their own culture and country. The Iraqi was Catholic and by his own admission admitted that the Muslim culture or outlook to woman had indeed infected their own culture. 1) They family expects them to marry within their own culture 2) They dont like passionately kissing a woman (some how reserved for their wives), they consider anything other than there prospective wife as just 'fun' until they decide to marry. They even joke about how they love to hurt Western woman as they find them easy and not worthy of respect, to their medievil thinking woman should all be virgins until they get married. They sleep with pros (not all but most of them)because of their lack of respect. They know both cultures western and eastern, but at the end of the day, you cant take the middle east out of the middle eastern. Unless he raised in a completly different environment. I dont say ALL are like this, but certainly in my experience, 'MOST' are. I fell really hard for the Iraqi, to the point where he was mentally and starting to get physically abusive. Upon breaking up with him, I reported his actions to the Police. He knows this, they have a record on him so it will make it hard for him to get citizenship and residency in another country. Seriously they need to leave their sexists attitudes behind them. We don't want them living here otherwise.

Hey Dear,

It is not wrong to fall in Love with Jordanian guy

Heart break is the Risk tho,anyway as long as you love him and like wise,why dont you go on with the flow ????

         Go on and Good luck for you Both


                Regard
                  Kate

ALL: Heart break is a risk no matter WHOM you choose to fall in love with.  Regardless of where they are from they are still people with the same thoughts and desires as others.  Thank God my husband is a very educated, caring, loving and strong minded man.  Otherwise I would have closed the computer on him long ago.  God guides our paths regardless of whether we know it or not.  He is not rich in money but wealthy beyond compare!

Wow....I'm new to this forum and now I'm rethinking everything about the Jordanian man i've fallen in love with. He returned to Jordan yesterday, telling me he loves me before he left. But now I'm wondering if just wanted to play with my heart because I'm an American. *sigh* i just don't know...

thank you!

@Loise: thank you for all that information. Hopefully his family will like me.

maryzgood wrote:

Wow....I'm new to this forum and now I'm rethinking everything about the Jordanian man i've fallen in love with. He returned to Jordan yesterday, telling me he loves me before he left. But now I'm wondering if just wanted to play with my heart because I'm an American. *sigh* i just don't know...

So what happened? did he call

hi i hope every is fine;:::i want say that i m in love with a jordainan girl and i love her alot so what can do becoz she have one kid as well and she is already marry...

@ cuteboy:

IF she decide to divorce her husband and to marry you then she probably loose her child to her husband.
And I think she don't want this to happen. If she has no problems with that, then you can continue your relationship.
If she don't want to give the child to her husband or  his family (it depends how old the child is and what the judge will decide!!!) then you can do nothing then accept it and get over it

Hi!
I have fallen in love with a Jordanian hot guy who says he wants to marry me. He is Muslim and I am catholic. He says that I don't have to convert if I don't want to and that he would like us to live together before we get married to make sure. However, he doesn't want his mother to know about it because she will disapprove. His brother lived with his fiance before getting married. I do know that I love him,but I don't know if living together is a good idea or not. I am planning to ask a friend who speaks Arabic to translate for me and his mother. All of this is so new to me!

Another online meet up ?

Did you met in person already ?

Not yet, but we talk everyday all the time. I am going to visit him in a month. He lives in other state in USA

I advice you to leave him as soon as possible, It is true, what he said, you don't need to convert to Islam...


Marriage in Islam must be done public, this means that all of his family and your family must even neighbours must know that you and he get married.

If he doesn't want his mother to know, this mean he is afraid from her reaction... I believe that he is laying, when he says that brother lived with his fiance before getting married, because it is unacceptable in Islamic countries to live with another woman in one room, without getting married, this is unacceptable in Islamic tradition and religion.... so I advice you to leave him.... and look for another one, who is worth you!

Ihank you mohdq2002,
I had the stupid idea of showing him your advice, to let him know that I am not willing to live with him without his mother knowing. However, he missed the whole point an accused me of cheating on him for "chatting with an stranger" and of not trusting him. So he broke up with me! WTh?! Just the night before he was telling me how much he loves me and suddenly he doens't want to speak to me anymore. I never dated a Muslim guy before, and I know that I can't judge everyone for only one person, but GOSH! Why does he have to be so irrational!

WHAT HAPPENED?!!! DID he call? Di he return? Are you happy ever after?

You should not show him my msg.... he is now angry because you unveiled him and show him the truth which he closed his eyes and would not see it

so, he looked for and used any reason to be angry and to leave you... as i said before.... he is a layer... leave him.... look for another one.... surely you will find...

please be noted, not all Jordanian like him....

Thank you again. You really open my eyes. I do not need this kind of drama in my life!

never changed.... this is the life.... it has every thing 

All I can say is if your here you have some doubts...but honestly ..you have to find your own way..me myself...I had red flags but..I just kinda figure his,behavior was due to his culture so I brushed it off..2 yrs,later  after marriage n living in jordan I am divorce an happy back in states .I learned  he is a narcissist. Never heard of it an it all made since so I left..all I can say is,be well ask him question an I hope he is your everything

shirley52, i am sorry to read your Drama, and wish you all the best.

Hello chiobabilonia1803,

There is one way for you to definitely know what his real intentions are (if there is any intention other than having casual sex with a woman who is foolish enough and willing to pay all the expenses herself).

1.  Tell him that even marriage does not guarantee he would get Permanent Resident Status in your country, so if you marry then you'll have to move there to be with him, and he will have to support you completely because you intend to stay at home, take care of him and ALL the many children that you want to have.

2.  Tell him that you will be thrilled to come and live with him before the marriage only it can't be in secret, but you come from a very poor family and you don't have the money so he will need to pay for your passport, return air fare, hotel, meals, etc., etc., etc.

3.  Tell him that you are a Catholic and that your religion dictates that he must convert to Catholicism for you to continue to take the Blessed Sacrament, as you and your parents firmly desire.

Do those three things and I guarantee your "Prince Charming" will disappear faster than a Toronto snowflake in the blazing Jordan mid-day sun!!!  Wake up girl, this guy is just using you, they're experts at it.

Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team

James, but he lives in the states....