I'm a South African, born and bread, somewhat close to my Mom and Dad and a woman knocking on the door of 40. No kids (not by choice), two dogs, two cats and a German Hubby who works as his life.
That's why we moved. He decided that life would be better in the USA, so we're in the UK for the mandatory 12 months he needs before being able to apply for a USA visa and I had to follow en tow, with pets.
He came to the UK in September, 2014, simply by getting on a plane with his EU passport.
Me? I had to stay behind to wait with the pets for their three month waiting period required for rabies checks and other medical requirements to get them over, sell the houses, get furniture shipped over, sell off what wasn't shipped and finally get my own visa sorted out.
You can probably tell already that my personal journey along this road has not been a pleasant one, not fun at all but he did promise I could start my business over again here or re-enter the life of a scientist with greater opportunities than back in SA.
None of that was to be. We got here, moved into a rental that we now have to move out of (I did find another place though, not an easy task on your own but politeness pays off it seams!)
Can't start the business, no-one wants a scientist that's been out of the loop for more than four years and I'm pretty miserable.
At least the weather's improved, the sun is shining a bit during the day and I've gotten into some sort of a rhythm with walking the dogs and getting out a bit. It still doesn't seem to be getting better though, hubby's working more than usual, sometimes until midnight. He does work from home and I'm home but that's no matter, work is work and everything else around the house and with the pets is still up to me.
The worst is, I'm inherently a happy, positive person but this miserable mood just doesn't seem to go away! I miss my Mom and Dad, my niece and, most of all, my small business that was taking off!
Resentment is an understatement but I cling to the hope that somehow, someone will see the potential of hiring a PhD in physics for something other than cleaning, cooking and doing laundry!
Yup, I hate to admit that I have become the person I am but it is what it is.
So, that's me and my situation in what I wanted to be a nut shell but turned into an essay. Howzit UK!
New to England - four months in and still not adapted
Welcome to the forum, a happy, sunshine sort of place where people try to help others.
I'm unsure I can do much directly, but I would like to wish you the best of luck in finding your place in England.
Just a thought - have you considered further education? A part time uni (Like the open university) or one of a million collage courses that are available cheaply in the UK.
Get's you out, meet new people, and perhaps puts you back up to date with events in your field.
Whatever you do - good luck, and try to smile.
Hi there.
Thanks for the kind words. I have actually already started talking a few courses and it does help with keeping my mind occupied. In fact, I'm writing a final exam this week so hold thumbs for me! I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is normal, I just need to be patient and all will be as it is ment to be.
What you are going through at this moment, is part of a emigration too. Its not always nice and great. It takes time for adjustment, how much depends on the person itself. But you are on the good way. Don't focus alone on the job part, a social life is very important too. Maybe volunteers work is a start for you?
One we're in our new home, I'll look at volunteering at a local school, perhaps my science and maths background can be put to use there. Thanks for the kind words though, it's great to hear I'm not insane for feeling the way I do!
Hi,
I know how you feel. Been there myself (not the PhD part, but workaholic partner, resentment crawling up and unfulfilled feeling with household chores). Giving up your career creates often a bigger hole than one anticipates beforehand. I missed being challenged in a professional way. The lack of a workplace's social environment should also not be underestimated.
Have you registered with job agencies? With your qualifications you should not have a problem finding something in your field. Academia might be hard, but companies tend to be more forgiving when it comes to a professional gap. I got back into my profession after 10 years and love it. I don't want to miss all the experiences I had abroad (20 years) including the odd jobs and courses I did, but there comes a point when you want to settle and feel at peace with it.
Hope you find it soon! Good luck!
Thanks no-clue, it really helps just writing about it, even if other's don't read my ramblings.
Well done for taking the plunge and getting back into your profession, it's something I'm definitely going to do once we're eventually in the USA. But when that will happen, we're not certain about.
For now, I'll take your advice and see if a job agency can place me somewhere. Even if it's temp or contract or part time. Getting out and feeling "useful" again will be a huge step in the direction of some sense of sanity.
Dont be alarmed if you need a Criminal Record Checks (CRB) certificate to volunteer with children in the UK. Its just one of the ways to try and protect potentially vulnerable people. Charity shops often want volunteers. Agencies cant help anyone unless they have permission to work though.
An update: warning, extreme frustration follows: my residence card application was finally submitted after everyone decided I was important enough for them to get their paperwork together. I found out yesterday that I was refused the right to work in the UK until the decision is made based on the fact that my husband needed his passport back to go to a non work related conference abroad. We submitted a verified copy of his passport in stead on advice of the solicitor chosen to handle my case by his company. Further to that, the letter I received states that it takes up to six months for a decision to be made. By then, my endorsed visa will have expired and there is no guarantee I will be granted a residence card. I am very anxious about what to do if it is denied our of the visa expires before I have my passport back!
Articles to help you in your expat project in England
No matter what your definition of fun is – get ready to feel active, inspired, and creative in London ...
The United Kingdom has a vast choice of leisure activities, from exploring the stunning countryside to discovering ...
Sports in the UK have a rich legacy, with numerous games having deep historical roots in the country. Did you know ...
London is a capital city that offers many leisure activities to entertain the quickly bored Londoner. Sport is not ...
So, you've arrived in the UK, hundreds or thousands of mile from home, you've moved in and ready to ...
Are you concerned about what you should bring during your relocation to the UK? Many expats don't give this a ...
