About to marry a jordanian man...

Gift_man

Absolutely wrong place to post Job advertisement

JO/EU wrote:

Hi James,

Prejudices is what I am talking about. We don't know any of these people, how can we for see things? How can u know who is using who?

Nothing prejudiced about it. I am talking from personal experience and if you had read my original posting carefully you'd note that I mentioned that I am also in a marriage that has a vast age difference. Clearly that qualifies me to speak and I have no prejudices at all. I'm living proof that such marriages CAN and DO work out. That said, they are really rare when they do.

I've also been in other relationships where it was clear that the only intention was for the other person to gain permanent residency in Canada. We certainly CAN predict problems when we've seen the signs of trouble many times in the past and see them clearly outlined in what Monica herself posted.

Nobody, but nobody should even think of marrying someone they've never met in person and only have been chatting with online for 2 months. That is simply inviting disaster and you don't need to be a psychologist or relationship counsellor to know that.

Cheers,
James         Expat-blog Experts Team

Everyone's situation is different.  I have a hard time with craving things from the USA. Really minimal, but then I get homesick. Its a cycle for me. Also, I wear hijab. We have a small apartment. I wear it because I feel that it is the right thing to do, but honestly don't enjoy it. The only place I can have it off is in the house. It sounds silly and maybe I'm nit picky, but it frustrates me. One the other hand, I like that we have familiar American stores and restaurants here. I miss rhe organization of EVERYTHING in the USA. All school districts have websites in the USA. Reviews of products were easy to come by.

Hi Courtney89 ,
When did you move to Jordan ? are  you staying at Jordan for long time ago ?
were you muslim or you just converted ?

abutaha wrote:

Hi Courtney89 ,
When did you move to Jordan ? are  you staying at Jordan for long time ago ?
were you muslim or you just converted ?

"Or you just converted"? Wow

Bratty1919  : .
why are you wondering ? 

I have been Muslim for 9 years, alhamdulah.

Bratty1919 wrote:

abutaha wrote:

Hi Courtney89 ,
When did you move to Jordan ? are  you staying at Jordan for long time ago ?
were you muslim or you just converted ?

"Or you just converted"? Wow

Given that Expat-blog is an international forum with members all over the globe, it should not be surprising that for many members ENGLISH is not their first language. Will they all have the "perfect" grammar of a native speaker? I think not!

I believe what the abutaha meant here was "just recently" converted. No need to get tense.  Interestingly enough Courtney seemed to understand exactly what abutaha was asking.

Cheers,
James     Expat-blog Experts Team

why are you wondering ? 

I think she is not wondering..... she corrects your English 

What's wrong about the sentence in English?
Why don't you correct it instead of just criticizing (bratty)

mohdq2002 wrote:

why are you wondering ? 

I think she is not wondering..... she corrects your English 

As an English teacher with a career that spans over 27 years, and one who has been granted a Bachelor of Arts - English and Bachelor of Education - English, by two world renowned Canadian universities I see nothing wrong with the member's English.

JUST = JUST RECENTLY/JUST NOW   OR  JUST = ONLY. It is worth noting that Courtney clearly understood the context of the question.

Further, since it is an international forum where English may not be the first language of many of our members, this is not the proper venue to correct errors. It is a forum, not a classroom. If there was any contextual misunderstanding of what was intended by the use of JUST, it clearly was on the part of Bratty1919. So can we all get back on topic here rather than turning it into an English grammar class.

Cheers,
James           Expat-blog Experts Team

mohdq2002 wrote:

why are you wondering ? 

I think she is not wondering..... she corrects your English 

Not at all - I was concerned about the idea that converting is not a big deal.

James wrote:

mohdq2002 wrote:

why are you wondering ? 

I think she is not wondering..... she corrects your English 

As an English teacher with a career that spans over 27 years, and one who has been granted a Bachelor of Arts - English and Bachelor of Education - English, by two world renowned Canadian universities I see nothing wrong with the member's English.

JUST = JUST RECENTLY/JUST NOW   OR  JUST = ONLY. It is worth noting that Courtney clearly understood the context of the question.

Further, since it is an international forum where English may not be the first language of many of our members, this is not the proper venue to correct errors. It is a forum, not a classroom. If there was any contextual misunderstanding of what was intended by the use of JUST, it clearly was on the part of Bratty1919. So can we all get back on topic here rather than turning it into an English grammar class.

Cheers,
James           Expat-blog Experts Team

Please read my PM - that is NOT the reason for my comment!

JO/EU wrote:

What's wrong about the sentence in English?
Why don't you correct it instead of just criticizing (bratty)

Please feel free to PM me if my other replies don't suffice

Bratty1919 wrote:

mohdq2002 wrote:

why are you wondering ? 

I think she is not wondering..... she corrects your English 

Not at all - I was concerned about the idea that converting is not a big deal.

I think he used the word "just" only as an expression like "simply" in no relation what so ever..

JO/EU :
You are the only one who understood my Idea

Much obliged 

Mohdg2002  ...the perfect man never use women to get what he want !!!

marta1001 , who is said there is a perfect man? there is no one can be perfect.... even women.... because every one see the perfection in his own eyes, and it is different from person to person.... i hope that i have good explained

This thread seems endless 

Interesting !

its quite OK to live in Jordan... if you love this man you would live with him in a desert! and its not a desert in Jordan .. Amman is a beautiful city with lots of open minded people.. you will enjoy living with your man in Jordan or you have the choice to go both to the states! but certainly Amman is great for married couples!

engmallad

its quite OK to live in Jordan... if you love this man you would live with him in a desert! and its not a desert in Jordan .. Amman is a beautiful city with lots of open minded people.. you will enjoy living with your man in Jordan or you have the choice to go both to the states! but certainly Amman is great for married couples!

Maybe you have not understood, what she wants, she wants to be divorced from her Jordanian man... not to live with him even in Jordan or in Australia 

@peacelovelight --

I just registered in order to say thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your very balanced and detailed post. (https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.p … 629#475933)

I can't tell you how valuable this kind of feedback is for women considering taking the plunge.

Everything you said -- from jealousy and traditional customs to social roles and isolation -- is completely true, without exaggeration, and I sincerely hope that young foreign women consider everything you said before they make their decision. I wish more women were willing to speak honestly and openly about both sides of the experience.

I can tell that you have a lot of love for Jordan and that you've seen and experienced a lot here. You're my hero for sharing your experience in an honest, balanced, and respectful way.

just make sure you both are in the same level of thinking and understanding ...specially culture wise

If one could make sure of everything there wouldn't be any issues..

I am in a relationship with a jordan guy but its hard for me to understand his behavior.  Sometimes he is okay then about a couple of days he is different.  Sometimes i feel that I am not important to him eventhough he is telling me he loves me.  I feel sad and hurt.

Hey,

Im a jordanian guy who met my wife when i was 16 in the UK, we were boyfriend and girlfriend for 6 years then got married, I come from a typical Jordanian family I'm not a practicing Muslim, anyways, gut married to my GF last year when I was 25 years, we go drink, we have fun we are BFFF (best f****** friends forever) we are 2gether 24/7 very faithful to each other as a couple and as BFFFs. She is from Argentina and I am Jordanian we are the same age we are the happiest and thinking of havin babies  Maybe at 30

The above is a response to the guy who said good stories are never shared so here I am sharing my story and btw my family loves my wife, my wife and I moved to Argentina after graduating from uni in the UK cuz I can't stand living in the Arab world there is soicj hypocrisy

Arab men are the biggest cheaters too, I was lucky that I went as a teen to the UK at the age of 15 and also was influenced since I was a kid by the west

Long story short Arabs and many Muslims would do unspeakable things to get out of their countries, and yes his family friends and even strangers would lie to you just to help him get out of Jordan you have no idea how sick this is

I am begging you to not be fooled by some lying traitor as this is very common and only 1% of western girls marrying Arab/Muslim men work out

Now there are 2 scenarios in ur case

First : u could spend 1 year and during this one year u will realize how jealous, religious  and possessive he is and run away - but if u get married to him there's a law that wife can't leave Jordan without written authorization from her husband so you are f***** up

Second scenario: he will be an angel until he gets out of Jordan to any EU country through u and then leave u

There's no third possible way for ur story to end

I know exactly how Jordanians think my own family thinks like this and they told me that I'm insane for falling for a South American girl and that this marriage will never benefit me and I would find a European girl or an American girl or such countries and I didn't give a **** and here I am happily married to my BFFF and we have an awesome life 2gether and living a dream and she is the bestest thing that has ever happened to me

Plz don't even think about it I really feel sorry for people who fall for these scams this guy is a fraud I promise you, my own family thinks that when u marry a foreign girl is mainly for benefit usually immigration related which is unfair

I know from a western point of view, u wants find ur soulmate and wana believe that fairytale a exist and they do but but with a Muslim Arab man trust me

;"For instante my Wife And i met when we were 16 and kinda grew up 2gethet of u things avout it and tus esa against my damg well until they gave up and accepted the reality and some of my brothers didn't speak to me for 3 yrs  cuz they believed I should marry a euro girl for citizenship benefits and look how it turned out I wax right for not following the sweet family that u r talking about

All Jordanian families are sweet and  they aren't bad people it's just a lack of culture, boundaries, and education, many Jordanian Los might respond no Jordan has a high number of educate. Pror everyone goes to uni but education is not just a certificate on the wall is way beyond that and westerners know what I mean

FYI all Jordanians here I am bani hasan BH so very typical Jordanian family

Best of luck

Hey, dude you won't be fine, I am a Jordanian born and raised there till I was 15 then moved to study in the UK and since then I traveled to so many counties and now I am 25 so ten years later I been to Jordan only 6 times and they were allay let since my parents are getting old, anyhow Jordan and all Muslim countries are so weird to live in and as much as they person tells u he is westernized and he is liberal blah blah they will change as soon as they are there , even if they are not Muslim Arabs are not western and they are jelous by blood and will give u a hard time about where u r and what u doin and what u wear everytime u wana go out with or without him and more when u r with him as he will feel shame if u r dressed western and by that I mean jeans and s t-shirt , if u r gna be fine with wearing long sleeves in 90 degrees desert summer on July and sweat to death and be harassed by every single man that u pass by then go And u will be fine if u r willing to go through that and many other things

Oh and be cheated on as 99% of Arab men are cheaters

I am a Jordanian guy born and raised in Jordan

Thnx and gd luck

No, pls save yourself before doing anything. The people there are best only as "friends" They are very friendly and provide hospitality, however, in my case the hospitality cost me financially. I was used for green card. The guy I married, while he was in Jordan he asked for money, and after he arrived to USA, he only lived one year with me, and after he took the green card, he disappeared, was hard to get a hold of him, and If I did he ignored me. Unknown person told me he had married someone else while he was away from me and ironically  marriage was done in a USA Masjid. Long story, but his family covered for him (in my case I saw Arab nationality than being Muslim first). During the time he was defrauding me with promises he will bring me to live with him until he is settled with a job, took money from me, but his promises never came true. After he was settled, he got rid of me slowly. I couldn't take it no more, so I divorced him. I should have done it earlier, I lost a lot of money, money he said he would pay, but he did not, later he changed the story said the money was help during marriage. After they come to the USA, they see other prettier ones, and start acting worst than the secular men out here. Make sure that the one you are thinking of marring is one who truthfully fears Allah. Not just a Muslim by name. Write a letter to onislam.com they will give you good advice.

Againstfraud wrote:

No, pls save yourself before doing anything. The people there are best only as "friends" They are very friendly and provide hospitality, however, in my case the hospitality cost me financially. I was used for green card. The guy I married, while he was in Jordan he asked for money, and after he arrived to USA, he only lived one year with me, and after he took the green card, he disappeared, was hard to get a hold of him, and If I did he ignored me. Unknown person told me he had married someone else while he was away from me and ironically  marriage was done in a USA Masjid. Long story, but his family covered for him (in my case I saw Arab nationality than being Muslim first). During the time he was defrauding me with promises he will bring me to live with him until he is settled with a job, took money from me, but his promises never came true. After he was settled, he got rid of me slowly. I couldn't take it no more, so I divorced him. I should have done it earlier, I lost a lot of money, money he said he would pay, but he did not, later he changed the story said the money was help during marriage. After they come to the USA, they see other prettier ones, and start acting worst than the secular men out here. Make sure that the one you are thinking of marring is one who truthfully fears Allah. Not just a Muslim by name. Write a letter to onislam.com they will give you good advice.

Sadly, we see all too many stories just like yours here. This kind of marriage fraud for the purpose of obtaining a visa is all too common with US, EU, Canadian women and men from the Middle East, North Africa and Arab nations. The only thing that is even sadder is the fact that while all kinds of women are posting to our forums seeking advice, they seem to all be of the impression that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO THEM so they refuse to take the advice given or listen to the (all too true) horror stories like yours. They all think they know better, which makes me wonder just why they're here asking for advice in the first place, when they clearly only want confirmation of what they already plan on doing?

Cheers,
James     Expat-blog Experts Team

So sad, and so true. As I have said before................if you have to ask, you already know.

James wrote:

Againstfraud wrote:

No, pls save yourself before doing anything. The people there are best only as "friends" They are very friendly and provide hospitality, however, in my case the hospitality cost me financially. I was used for green card. The guy I married, while he was in Jordan he asked for money, and after he arrived to USA, he only lived one year with me, and after he took the green card, he disappeared, was hard to get a hold of him, and If I did he ignored me. Unknown person told me he had married someone else while he was away from me and ironically  marriage was done in a USA Masjid. Long story, but his family covered for him (in my case I saw Arab nationality than being Muslim first). During the time he was defrauding me with promises he will bring me to live with him until he is settled with a job, took money from me, but his promises never came true. After he was settled, he got rid of me slowly. I couldn't take it no more, so I divorced him. I should have done it earlier, I lost a lot of money, money he said he would pay, but he did not, later he changed the story said the money was help during marriage. After they come to the USA, they see other prettier ones, and start acting worst than the secular men out here. Make sure that the one you are thinking of marring is one who truthfully fears Allah. Not just a Muslim by name. Write a letter to onislam.com they will give you good advice.

Sadly, we see all too many stories just like yours here. This kind of marriage fraud for the purpose of obtaining a visa is all too common with US, EU, Canadian women and men from the Middle East, North Africa and Arab nations. The only thing that is even sadder is the fact that while all kinds of women are posting to our forums seeking advice, they seem to all be of the impression that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO THEM so they refuse to take the advice given or listen to the (all too true) horror stories like yours. They all think they know better, which makes me wonder just why they're here asking for advice in the first place, when they clearly only want confirmation of what they already plan on doing?

Cheers,
James     Expat-blog Experts Team

"They only want confirmation" - yes it makes me nuts, too!

I don't think they want confirmation, I think  they are fake trying to keep this subject for some reason alive... But I have mentioned this already before..

I am married for almost 6 years now to a Jordanian man and he is kind and honest to me ever since. I just hope that Allah ta'ala will bless our marriage with the goodness in this life and goodness in the next life. Whether we live in Jordan or which part of the world the thing that count most is the understanding between husband and wife. I believe that this life is a test. We are a test to them and they to us. The one who will survive is the one who is patient with a beautiful patient.

Humans are a test to their creator, not to each other. Since nothing lasts for ever, maybe the test is who believes in the creator, who believes in humans! We can only achieve something either good or bad according to the majority. The good majority like the creator created us, or the bad majority changed by the devil. Obviously the majority chose to follow the dark  tunes of a piper who came out of nowhere some day, obviously sent by the devil in shape of a human. With promises to change the creators world! the majority assured their faith to a human. The piper though, a hater, led the majority into a dark world full of slavery, they can not escape from anymore. The majority has the power, and started to hate the few good ones believing in the creators world. The piper is now providing his angry slaves with powerful torture methods, so humans start to defeat each other. If u ask wise humans what they fear most, they'll say "humans". Thanks to the majority  there is slavery instead of freedom, the majority of humans achieved it, probably this is  the test to whom are creations faithful and greatful!

Wow. I have actually taken my time to read all the posts here from first page.. ...and I will NEVER even tempt myself to experience any..........

I am a strong believer of Islam and Qadr (Preordainment). I am doing my best and put all my trust to Allah (God). To be patient also needs patience. As my husband said Jordanians are not good people but a few. So as like other nationalities and cultures around the world. I am saddened to hear stories of families fall apart due to differences in cultures and beliefs when everything can be settled down in peace. Being married must goes all with your heart and mind that you are marrying someone who may have different idiology than yours and you must be ready for that.

Hi everyone, I was wondering if anyone could help me with something, my sister has started talking online with this jordanian man, which seems fine, but then she says that he tells her all this stories about how jordanian women have so much power this days, that his ex wife used to beat him up and even showed her some photos of scratches in his arm made by her, that his friend was beat up by his wife too and how another friend of his rejected having relations with a woman at a bar and she told the police he raped her and he went to jail for 40days? all this sounds a bit strange to me, he said there are new laws that protect women and that women seem to be taking "revenge" for all the years of oppression? He said that his wife cheated on him, and when he found out he went to speak with the other guy and the guy said he didn't know she was married cuz she said she was single and then apparently both the men went to her work to confront her and everyone at her work said they had no idea she was married as she always said she was single. Some things just don't sound right, I don't know why he would lie, maybe he is telling the true, he says it happens a lot that men are beaten and abused by their wifes but they are ashamed to tell anyone.
I just want my sister to be happy, but I just can't see jordanian women be this way, would he lie about this things? and why?

cathy81,

Do yourself and your sister a very, very big favor....   sit down in front of the computer with her and BOTH of you read this topic thread right from the very beginning. I mean it, read every single posting on each of the (now) 9 pages!!!

If that isn't enough to scare her off from every getting married to not just a Jordanian, but ANYONE who she meets online then nothing will. Let her go and do whatever it is that she's going to do anyway, because she's nothing more than a timebomb that's waiting to go off.

When whatever the relationship is goes south, and I guarantee that it will; just remind her of the day that you both took the time to read all the horror stories here and all the very sound advice which she chose to ignor.

Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team