Can I believe this lady?

One bad turn after another ? No one is that cursed.

A friend of mine was scammed similiarly in Saigon ... ailing mother needing kidney transplant, snatched bag, lost phone, etc. etc. 

To cut the long story short ... you'll be amazed how far some people would go to fleece you, even to the point of hiring people to act the parts. Your 100 bucks may only be one of a dozen others - do the math.

My 2 cents ? If you really feel charitable, give your money to where you KNOW it's put to good use ie. orphanage, retirees' home, UNICEF etc.

*Eternal cynic*

Nikolos wrote:

Hi John, don't get too mad, it's quite common here for girls to try to be sponsored and be helped by the foreign boyfriend(s) via western union. Your girlfriend don't want to ask you money, but 100$ or 200$ could really help her out so she tells you a story, mother sick, robbery, any kind of drama that the real thing: she just needs money to buy cloths and food or pay the rent of her 50$ room without water or toilets she shares with two other girls.
You love (loved) her? Send her some money. Help her out. She's not going to buy the last IPhone, just trying to have a decent life. 100$ won't change your life, but it's a bottle of oxygen for the one you shared feelings with when you where here.

Like what I read.
Voted. Yes !

Everyone has a good story to tell but the facts are these girls don't have dozens of sponsors sending money. Most of them feels lucky to have one ex boyfriend who will support them time to time for a few months. Girls here are trying to live day by day until they find a boybriend who won't leave them but instead go for a long relationship and mariage.
These girls supports their family, lives in 6m² shitholes without water for 50$ a month, needs to pay school to learn how to speak, write and read a foreign language and prays not to be sick for good one day.
Khmer girlfriend don't pick you because you are funny or handsome or just looking for some fun and having a good fuck. Khmer girlfriend choose you because she's hoping you will be the good one, the one who will get married and save her from a life without hope of better days.
Even if you say you will not get serious and you will leave her at the end of your holidays, she will still try because maybe you will find with her the true love and not leave.
Nobody can really expect it's ok to fuck a girl for weeks and leave her after a few weeks because you told her from day one.
Unless you think she's just a prostitute you hired for your holidays.
If you get involved in a romantic relation here, once back in your country try to help her out for a few months. Be a man.

I agree with Nikolos, though my strategy is not to be involved....safe exit strategy I guess. I do help the way i could without having to either raise expectation or be disappointed.

Message deleted because it was a reply to another message deleted now (next time l'll quote).

hi John!
I know you had your answer by your self.you only need to do that and dont regret.Time is short. Give to get happiness than keep to confuse. Maybe you will lose some money but maybe you help her.Maybe she is liar but maybe she is honest.But I believe you care to her so If it's in your ability, you should help her and don't need to think nothing, just do that from your heart and don't think about get back!

Always like Nikolos point of view.
Magnanimous-Fair and Humanity.

pinklizard wrote:

Following this thread with interest, so what happened John? Did you find out whether she was really in the hospital after her bag got grabbed? You're still in contact?

Good to know a variety of stories, and as far as making friends/relationships go, perhaps you can keep the issue of money a CLOSED topic and make that clear to all you meet that your wallet is your own, that way you can easily separate the genuine from the false? Kinda working for me.

I am interested in the ending, it reads like a novel

I like your idea (the one bolded) it's one of my guiding light. Works for me beautifully.

"...keep the issue of money a CLOSED topic..."
In cambodia? With khmers ?
Good luck with that !!!!!

If she is a bar girl then you get what you deserve.

tyler wrote:

If she is a bar girl then you get what you deserve.

Many westerners are happily married to ex bar girls and raise their kids with values.
Most of these ladies are bar girls by lack of choice, not vice.

Yes that is true.You can usually tell which ones have been jaded or not.

Nikolos wrote:

tyler wrote:

If she is a bar girl then you get what you deserve.

Many westerners are happily married to ex bar girls and raise their kids with values.
Most of these ladies are bar girls by lack of choice, not vice.

tyler wrote:

Yes that is true.You can usually tell which ones have been jaded or not

Thanks for sharing some of your christian values and cultural understanding without judgements based on gossips and bar talks.
By the way, can you pin Cambodia on a map?

So sorry to hear that. Get over it and praying youll find a right girl fir yiu!!!

Makewa wrote:

Thank you Samrit ... yes, it is not about getting upset, people do what they do for many reasons, and many Khmae are in hard circumstances, it is best to move on and not contribute to building these situations by getting caught up in it.

Thank God someone here actually still has a heart and an understanding of where we are living - that if YOU were in the same situation you wouldn't act any different. Pfft. Western people and their high morals. Hunger, illness and fear of the future makes all humans do whatever they can to survive.
ALL humans. WW2 anyone?

You think by loving or marrying a Khmer woman you will understand her or truly trust the intentions of anything else she will ever do? Think again. These kind of relationships are just concreting the idea that western people are somehow better to marry and have children with, rather than focussing on how people here can understand and participate in making good relationships with each other and the community.

i really like your quote !


Pisey

JackieW wrote:

Nikolos wrote:

Hi John, don't get too mad, it's quite common here for girls to try to be sponsored and be helped by the foreign boyfriend(s) via western union. Your girlfriend don't want to ask you money, but 100$ or 200$ could really help her out so she tells you a story, mother sick, robbery, any kind of drama that the real thing: she just needs money to buy cloths and food or pay the rent of her 50$ room without water or toilets she shares with two other girls.
You love (loved) her? Send her some money. Help her out. She's not going to buy the last IPhone, just trying to have a decent life. 100$ won't change your life, but it's a bottle of oxygen for the one you shared feelings with when you where here.

Like what I read.
Voted. Yes !

Niko ,

I am Khmere girl , i do agreement with your statement and thanks to think positive about us .

Pisey

Nikolos wrote:

Everyone has a good story to tell but the facts are these girls don't have dozens of sponsors sending money. Most of them feels lucky to have one ex boyfriend who will support them time to time for a few months. Girls here are trying to live day by day until they find a boybriend who won't leave them but instead go for a long relationship and mariage.
These girls supports their family, lives in 6m² shitholes without water for 50$ a month, needs to pay school to learn how to speak, write and read a foreign language and prays not to be sick for good one day.
Khmer girlfriend don't pick you because you are funny or handsome or just looking for some fun and having a good fuck. Khmer girlfriend choose you because she's hoping you will be the good one, the one who will get married and save her from a life without hope of better days.
Even if you say you will not get serious and you will leave her at the end of your holidays, she will still try because maybe you will find with her the true love and not leave.
Nobody can really expect it's ok to fuck a girl for weeks and leave her after a few weeks because you told her from day one.
Unless you think she's just a prostitute you hired for your holidays.
If you get involved in a romantic relation here, once back in your country try to help her out for a few months. Be a man.

Hi everybody,
Thank you all for the personal and often very positive viewpoints.
First of all: we are still happily together
I still couldn't figure out the whole story behind Hong Kong and the illness of her mother and honestly I don't care. What I really care about is that I have learned to know a wonderful person.
She had, as is the case with so many people in Cambodia, a very hard live. I have met her family and friends and I realized how she had to struggle and fight for a decent live. Not only for herself but also for her mother and for her sister. A responsibility and pressure that should not be underestimated.
With my support she went back to live in the country and works as a farmer girl. This is what she use to do before circumstances brought her to the city. And this is the live she chooses and loves. I helped her to build a nice little house.
We are now trying to arrange a visa for her (not an easy thing)so that she can accompany me when I have to go to Europe.

tyler wrote:

If she is a bar girl then you get what you deserve.

She has been introduced to my by a friend. But what you say is not to the point. Although I have never met any bar girl I'm sure they have there personality like anyone else. Do you really think it is an easy choice to work in a bar and a choice the girls would make if they had other opportunities? And do you really believe that the fact they do this kind of work makes them absolutely bad and unreliable? Your non-argumented comment is appreciated as any, but is telling more about yourself than you might think.

@ cheypisey: Thank you for your suport.
By the way I'm single and speak french (why I can't meet a khmer girl who can talk about VAT?).

@ John Birth: Good end of story, thanks for sharing!

Nikolos wrote:

Khmer girlfriend don't pick you because you are funny or handsome

Of course not, but in my case it's different, I'm funny AND handsome!

Nikolos
Active member

From: Phnom Penh
Registered: 2011-09-15
Posts: 30
   
Re: Can I believe this lady?
Hi John, don't get too mad, it's quite common here for girls to try to be sponsored and be helped by the foreign boyfriend(s) via western union. Your girlfriend don't want to ask you money, but 100$ or 200$ could really help her out so she tells you a story, mother sick, robbery, any kind of drama that the real thing: she just needs money to buy cloths and food or pay the rent of her 50$ room without water or toilets she shares with two other girls.
You love (loved) her? Send her some money. Help her out. She's not going to buy the last IPhone, just trying to have a decent life. 100$ won't change your life, but it's a bottle of oxygen for the one you shared feelings with when you where here.

what can i say, nikolos already said what i wanted to say!
great thinking nikolos!

John Birth wrote:

tyler wrote:

If she is a bar girl then you get what you deserve.

She has been introduced to my by a friend. But what you say is not to the point. Although I have never met any bar girl I'm sure they have there personality like anyone else. Do you really think it is an easy choice to work in a bar and a choice the girls would make if they had other opportunities? And do you really believe that the fact they do this kind of work makes them absolutely bad and unreliable? Your non-argumented comment is appreciated as any, but is telling more about yourself than you might think.

I did not mean to insult. It's just that bargirls have been lied to and used by barang men. And they don't have to work in a bar as many girls freelance.They quickly get jaded and then it is all about how much money they can get out of them. You ask a bg what she wants from a barang and she says wants barang to take care of her. Meaning she wants barang to support her and does not want to work at all .I know some of these girls quite well.Most are uneducated and lazy. But hey, there is all ways the exception. Myself I feel for these girls,their life can be hard. And by the way all the Khmers I know who leave the country for medical treatment go to Vietnam. Good luck and hoping things work for you.

I'm 99.99% sure she is a "Player" looking for lonely expats to use as a "cash cow".

I have lived in Asia for 9 years now and I could write a book about all the stories and cons that come from Asian girls. I was staying in a Hotel in Thailand and on the first night I arrange to meet my friend at the reception of the hotel. I arrived first and the receptionist even tried to tell me a story about her mother needed to go to hospital and she had no money. There were even tears in her eyes. You should read a book call Private Dancer all above Expat in Asia.
On a better note I am married to a Cambodia girl for 6 years now and we have 2 children when I first met her she never told any stories and wanted money. We have a good life and happy life together.
My advice is if they start to ask for any money even little money they are no good. It start with little money then they want more and more money. All you are to them is a ATM machine.
I have even seen them playing with a guy on the phone giving the guy a sad story looking for money and kidding on they are crying while laughing to her friends at the same time.
Don't be played and don't believe all you here from them.
I am now living in Phnom Penh. As for the statement about a girl living in a room with no water toilet and two other girls and pay $50. I don't know where they are staying as I rent out rooms with electric water toilet starting price $35 per month. If 3 people in the room they still only pay $35 per month which they share the rent.

Don't be fooled by Asian Girls

Steve McK wrote:

I have lived in Asia for 9 years now and I could write a book about all the stories and cons that come from Asian girls. I was staying in a Hotel in Thailand and on the first night I arrange to meet my friend at the reception of the hotel. I arrived first and the receptionist even tried to tell me a story about her mother needed to go to hospital and she had no money. There were even tears in her eyes. You should read a book call Private Dancer all above Expat in Asia.
On a better note I am married to a Cambodia girl for 6 years now and we have 2 children when I first met her she never told any stories and wanted money. We have a good life and happy life together.
My advice is if they start to ask for any money even little money they are no good. It start with little money then they want more and more money. All you are to them is a ATM machine.
I have even seen them playing with a guy on the phone giving the guy a sad story looking for money and kidding on they are crying while laughing to her friends at the same time.
Don't be played and don't believe all you here from them.
I am now living in Phnom Penh. As for the statement about a girl living in a room with no water toilet and two other girls and pay $50. I don't know where they are staying as I rent out rooms with electric water toilet starting price $35 per month. If 3 people in the room they still only pay $35 per month which they share the rent.

Don't be fooled by Asian Girls

Hi Steve and welcome to the forum
Great post. After 40+ years of coming and going in Asia I too have seen and heard it all.

Thanks.

one born every minute,in your case every second,your a total wasted space

I will never know the whole truth of her situation back in 2011 (this is an old thread!). We never talk about it. What I do know is that we are a very happy family today. Yes, we have a  gorgeous little boy.

I have helped some Cambodian people with money. The smallest setback can cause significant problems for poor people and though you can't help them all, you can help some. Not once I have been disappointed by them.
Than again I have been very lucky to meet my wonderful wife. She knows and understands what we expats just can't see.
Expats have to be very careful with cam girls, but no more, no less than in any place on earth. They have to learn about the culture and about the circumstances and conditions in which most families live. There is a steep and long learning curve on this, because nothing is what it seems and completely different than what we know and how we understand things. But if you do take the effort you will discover a fascinating culture with beautiful people.

HI  gentleman ,
  I was,  reading your email , i would like to tell you that you need time more and more to understand her , you need to know why she bring her mother go to Hongkong , to see doctor , , i not sure , i have lots of experience for cambodia woman here , and so many foreigners they got big lettion here , i will tell you more  if you realy want to know and understand , also if you need help i can help you to meet her and see how
         take care , and best wish
               Vy

Many of the people who replied are saying : Yes, give her the money or send her the money $50-200 , that would never change your life but will give oxygen to them.  I may say, I don't agree with them.

That is their life. Work for it. If the truth is truth her mom is sick, get proof and then send your money. They will always find reasons to get your money and if you keep sending , when you ran out , will they send? Think about that. It is ok to help the honest ones. But just to keep their lives easy when you think you are the boyfriend and she has 100s of bf.
I guess that will be unfair.

I am not pointing to Khmer women but to all Asians. ( Thai, Laos, Cambodia, Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, Myanmar, and so on) always there is a reason . Let us probably stop this. Some are using these women to ask money and this money does not goes to them but used to buy contraband.

Support only the real and truth. Yes, 100$ can be an oxygen. But not to those who pretend. There are still other people that really needed your help and besides you are not a charitable organization.

Just my opinion.  As individual we all have difficult life, lets face it. stop burdening old people, fooling them to come over to cambodia in exchange of sex or whatever. They also have medical conditions. and besides when foreigner died in Cambodia or in immigration prison no one give a shit or even a $100 as an oxygen for them to survive.

Dear man,
When ever I heard my boyfriend asks someone he doesn't know: can he believe in me?
Only 1 thing could be happen: I will kick him off, no excusive. This question is offensive to me.
Be a man, please!
- Did she ever ask you for any sponsor?
- Did she ever try to take anything from you?
- Did she ever cheat on you?
Just because she told you about a lot of troubles she had and you think that are not real, and you don't beleive her.
Why you don't think, at the worst moment when all the bad things happen to her, she just wants to sharing with you.
Why you don't think: friend in need is the friend indeed.
Why you don't believe in yourself that you find a good girlfriend?
The question is: Is she honest or not?
The answer is: Maybe Yes, Maybe No.
Remember: Maybe is mean maybe. Don't ever affirm .
Personality is not for fun.
I don't know can you believe her?
But if she asks me, I will say: If you love him, trust him. Don't ever care what ever people say. Trust your heart and your emotion.
Regards

Hi man,
i was working with so many foreigners  in Cambodia , also i meet many woman here (90 % ) they trying to lie to foregners to make money , in my restaurant before 95% foreigners they have been , so i know , they told me problems with girl friends
He asked (can i belive this lady ) that why i todl him what i meet in Cambodia , it it make you angry ???? i never say sorry , because  that my idea ,i am not good English , but before they need me interpretor, they was asking me to lie to foreigners  for  cheating .more 20 years working with foreigners here so i have lot experience about that , some time i fell shame too ,
   i do not want to talk more , remember that is my Idea ok ????

Yes i have same idea

I don't need you say sorry to me, man. This topic about someone els, not about me. I did not quote your post, Hun Vy. Why do you think I'm talking to you?
You said your idea, i said what I think. Never mind.This is a forum.
But If you want to know what I am thinking about your post, I'm gonna say:
Almost of people is not every people. The way you think MAYBE is true with almost of them, but for sure it is not true with all Cambodian women.
That's it.
Need to say: I'm not Cambodian, I'm a Vietnamese, get married for 13 years already with a Vietnamese man. I never ever have been in loved with foreigner, used to live in UK for 4 years, know many English man inloved or married with Asian lady, but honestly I never heard any of them talked about Asian girls like the way you talked.
Maybe they found the true love, maybe they are more luckier than the other. Or lucky me, I just seen the real love only.

Yes me too , i have same your thinking 99,99 she player

Hi Nicolas ,
  I agree with your writing
           Best wish

i hate to beak it up to you buddy; but that's the old sick buffalo story used by bargirls and freelancers to get money from their "darlingS".

they'll spend all afternoon chatting up foreign sponsors on the internet, skype, mobile video chat etc..then at night you'll find them at the nightclubs looking for foreign tourists to seduce = future sponsor.

first it was the sick mom story or the collapsing roof..then it turned into the sick buffalo story..nowadays it the motorbike accident story or brother got hit by a car.  its the last trick they play on a far away sponsor to hit the jackpot and never call them again.

girls going to Singapore, HK, Korea ( expensive cities ) go there to make more money from short time customers ( $100 an hour or so ).  they know that back in the village or hometown their chances are less than zero to marry since everyone knows what they're up to when they're away.
- village gossip -

these women literally worship money; and all they want to do is to raise their families status at the village by sending in more "money" so as to feel better about themselves.  these "bargirls" will never ever stop their business no matter how nice or rich a sponsor is..the sky is the limit. 

its easy money and in some cases they even turned into very, very rich women just by working a few years and landing a few naive westerners with glossy eyes and a soft heart.

my advice is to slap it in the experience file and move on; just like she did.

try living a few years in Pattaya, Thailand like i did and you'll know what im talking about.  the bars are packed with disgruntled old folks that got cheated out of their last penny by their asian darling; and all these stories sound the same one way or another.

good luck.

btw there also many khmer girls working in Pattaya and BKK; many foreigners like their dark skin and they can easily pass for a Thai woman. 

obviously their foreign sponsor wants her to be in joyful mood so as to talk about a "future" together - but she's always depressed due to her "sick mother" therefore the only solution is to send some money to take the load off of her - its all part of the game.

i've seen these bargirls meeting at the end of their "shift" an hour or so before sunrise - they'll tell the customer that her roomate has lost the key to the room so she has to leave - they chat about how easy and stupid these foreigners are and each one says how much money they were able to get from them - they also share tips and tricks to get more money from these tourists that believe she's his "girlfriend" and that she wants to get out of this lifestyle.

remeber that these women are mentally disturbed.  basically they get raped everyday by their customers ( they perform sex without wanting it - and the customers are somewhat violent ) they ALL abuse some sort of substance but mostly its alcohol  and sedatives and they will never let their mark see it.  they'll stock up on sedatives and pretend that they don't drink. 

i've seen them drunk and going insane about little things and its scary; certainly not worth my time and money.

there are loads of websites and youtube videos about Pattaya freelancers / bargirls.  take a look for yourself.