Desperate expat housewives

now a days relationship between husband and wife has become very bad. They are living together for mutual benefits

we were in Russia for five years and we are a mixed race couple.  We just moved to Belize and no one seems to care that we are a biracial pair.

I am looking forward to getting to know people here in the city.  So far I have only met the wife of our pastor and our realtor!

Great topic!,

I am a housewife live in Russia and an expat for less than a year. On my first year of living here, it was really depressing. I had no friends, i couldn't find any filipinos around, very difficult to find people who does speak English. And, here's more it took me 6 months to find the Catholic Church because no one knows where is it and if there's any? When I finally found the church, i was kind of happy though masses are in Russian only. Even the priest doesn't speak English! interesting!
But what love can do? I gave up my front office job in East Timor becoz of marriage and decided to moved here. It was kind of boring. I spent most of my time on the net. I am now studying Russian language at the University, met new friends and hope to find job soon. Good luck expat housewives...

Hi Utopaz, thanks for your advice. I appreciate it ;-)

Hey Utopaz, didn't you mention in your previous post that I'm Jamaican? lol. I'm from Jamaica, and currently living in Gurgaon...It's still me, the desperate housewife in India...

thanks...I hardly go to Delhi, mostly stuck at home. I've only been to Connaught Place once, and that's cause I took the train/metro. Been to Shangri-La hotel for breakfast once, the zoo, but it is closed on Sundays so I didn't get to go in, been to Saket Select CityWalk once, and Vasant Vihar once. That's it, lol.

Gurgaon has some nice malls, I mostly go to Ambience Mall, that's my new hang out spot if I do head out. I go there for movies, Funcity with my son, some shopping and eat out. And the people at Spencers supermarket look out for me every Wednesday...the story of my life...(in India) ;-)

This is such a great topic and really needs to be addressed. I have seen amany unhappy Expat wives that want to go back home. Thank you all for sharing this with all of us. I hope that by having this Blog ladies can share how they are feeling and get real answers. Right On Desperate Expat Housewives!

Hi, there
I understand your situation. Theoretically, I have read many articles how housewives are in difficult situation when their husnbands work abroad. They are socially isolated and separated from previous networks including relatives and friends. Good way is to build own new network in the host country.
Good luck
Molortuya

I am an egyptian guy 29 years old ,193 meter tall ,basketball player .i have residence in canada .i speak french,english,arabic and a little turkish and now learning spanish .i am working as sales manager in energy company and now i am moving to equatorial guinea.I am lonely and i think that it is the time to marry a good woman but i didn t find yet!!!! can i meet here  ????

Hello NAYER_EGYPTIEN

Kindly note that this is not a dating site.

I am about to enter a similar situation (sort of).  My fiance was deported from the US so I need to go to Ecuador to live for three months to be married.  I have everything paid in advance (about $2000 to live for three months with lots of padding for fun, eating out, etc.)  My fiance will be working there but I can't.  I hope I can teach some ENglish to priate families for a little cash, but I'm not allowed to work much past that.  So without the need to be working, I'm going to be so so so bored!!!!  I might have to do some volunteering just to fill the void, and I'll take some Spanish classes.  I am heading into a land where nearly nobody speaks my language, if anyone has any suggestions for how to occupy my time (maybe in a way that is not completely self-serving) I'd love to hear from you!!!

-Megan in USA

hello je suis aussi une femme au foyer depuis que je suis venue vivre avec mon mari a maurice, y a t il d autres femmes comme moi?

Je serai comme vous très, très bientôt.  Il faut déplacer vers l'Équateur pendant trois mois, donc je peux obtenir mon permis de mariage.  alors que je suis là, mon mari travaillera, et je ne suis pas autorisé à.  de plus, je ne parle même pas la langue il.  Comment est-ce que vous ne passez votre temps ?  des suggestions ?  J'arriverai à payer toutes les factures trop, et je ne peux pas travailler.  mais - vous ne peut pas gagner leur tous, droit ?  au moins, je peux être avec mon fiancé.  Nous avons été séparés pour une année.  donc, bien qu'il pourrait être difficile, apprécier ce que vous avez bien ?  (mon fiancé a été expulsé avant que nous avons eu la chance de se marier) même si je suis plaint, il sera merveilleux d'être avec mon fiancé pendant trois mois, et quand je vais à la maison, je serai marié.  même si je ne pourrez faire mon mari avec moi.

D'ailleurs, je suis américain et suis à l'aide d'un traducteur en ligne.  Veuillez acceot mes excuses si les mots que j'utilise sont déroutantes.

LOL, somehow I never had this problem. For years - when we lived in Sweden - my spouse refused to join me on any assignments abroad, but he did not oppose my going (I guess he knew better ;-)), so I was picking ones not too far from home, Germany, Austria, UK, etc...so that one of us could join the other every other long weekend or so... until I happened to get an offer from a Stanford University in California. My hubby was (he is deceased now - brain tumor) an electronic nerd, with several world patents and he decided to go with me  there, as he had his sights on Silicon Valley, and chose a permanent job (from among a plethora of offers) barely two months after we arrived there. So he never was  a desperate househusband, thank heavens... or I would get bonkers... and soon become a divorcee.
Thus I better understand husbands who chose a foreign assignment without paying too much attention to the feelings of a trailing spouse. I wish these women were more independent - one way or another.

Been there, done that and burned the T-shirt :-) What wouldn't we do for love?! I have to admit that I am better off working away from home, having challenging tasks to finish everyday, going out with friends/colleagues after work. For me it is just good to have things called my own.

Hi Julien,
I want to answer your last question.
I got a girlfriend just three months before leaving to work in Bangalore as an expatriate for three years. I was close to resign but finally I didnŽt.
Now I am here since three weeks ago. I am very happy to speak with her around an hour a day by Skype. And this is possible because internet.
So, yes. Definitively internet helps me to not feel so lonely.

I haven't had these difficulties because I am a person who first of all like to be alone. Secondly, I live in with my family inlaw. In the beginning I really enjoyed hanging around with them, at home, but after a while I started to get annoyed, because like I have mentioned i like to be alone.

And I spend most of the time at home, I don't go out much.

But sometimes, I felt alone, Yes. Especially during difficulties like sickness or after giving birth. Then you wished to have your family around, especially your mother!

But over all, I don't feel lonely Thank God! It depends from person to person I think.

Be patient is my advice and secondly, try to do something to get yourself busy.

Success!!!

Umm Ruqayyah

well my little wife 5'5" wears all my clothes and I let her do what she wants. due to my ENGLISH upbringing she sometimes u need to ask her if she is found of me... she drives, cooks and does all household .... yea internet makes me lonely....i sometime feel should have more hobbies or friends I personally want to settle in US or Switzerland... no one knows where life takes u... i have broken ties with my parents .... so kinda orphan... but if GOD is above... heaven is always below.... bye +919717884367

thank god i m having better life now in saoudi arabia as a house wife lady i m not desperate at all have much time to learn many things by the net i travel to europ and africa when ever i want really i m happy

disparete house wifes is a result of poor communication, poor harmonization and synergy between the couple. i sometimes ask the question, why would someone be in a hurry in a such a critical decision to marry someone who might not be suitable as a wife to begin with!!!

its very hard the lonelyness feeling, and i would think it s better to keep oneself occupied

nplatel wrote:

Is there any desperate expat housewife in Mauritius!!! would like to meet at least one who's in the situation like me...

You should post that on the Mauritian forum!

thats not easy for this wife

utopaz wrote:

so do you come to delhi often??

i would imagin taj mahal.great place

Not all expats are housewives some are men at home !

About to become an 'expat housewive', which I am looking forward to but certainly don't want to become 'desperate'. Havent been a housewife for nigh on 20 years so will need something to keep me from going insane, whether it's a paid job or voluntary work.  I intend to build a life for myself alongside my partner as a person in my own right.

try gulf news jobs

This is interesting, I could not not join myself in after reading all threads. 

I am not an expat but my ex bf is. I also have expat friends both online and in real life- thank you internet!

Being Asian and my ex is British guy, I don't even understand why that cynical point of view toward dating European/white guy actually exist.
My life was fine and I work when he come into my life and I have my own goals in my career.
My ex isn't rich but that was not the reason I didn't dig his gold, it just not me - My late parents thought me that to give is better than to take and I always take god care of myself.
I date him because somehow he just knew how to make me fall in love to him with his way but I have to admit that I also fascinated by his blue eyes- they are bleu come la mer and his long nose , please just blame my artistic eyes rather than to think am a shallow LOL
Date a white guy to "pull me up socially" I don't think so- I have my own fans back home I just feel sorry with those who live with negative prejudice , why cant we live in harmony..

well done good one

Dita Mignonesia wrote:

This is interesting, I could not not join myself in after reading all threads. 

I am not an expat but my ex bf is. I also have expat friends both online and in real life- thank you internet!

Being Asian and my ex is British guy, I don't even understand why that cynical point of view toward dating European/white guy actually exist.
My life was fine and I work when he come into my life and I have my own goals in my career.
My ex isn't rich but that was not the reason I didn't dig his gold, it just not me - My late parents thought me that to give is better than to take and I always take god care of myself.
I date him because somehow he just knew how to make me fall in love to him with his way but I have to admit that I also fascinated by his blue eyes- they are bleu come la mer and his long nose , please just blame my artistic eyes rather than to think am a shallow LOL
Date a white guy to "pull me up socially" I don't think so- I have my own fans back home I just feel sorry with those who live with negative prejudice , why cant we live in harmony..

@am4a, LOL

Dita, its great that you appreciated the hidden my sense of humour. keep laughing and send me some indonesian jokes!!!.adam

Eyes see you're a British guy urself, eyes must keep my eyes on you hehehe just kidding Adam.
Let see if I could find some Indonesian jokes on my head tho and will share them with you.

I think it can be very difficult speaking as an expat living in Spain.  I haved seen many Žtrailing spousesŽgive up on expat life and return home breaking up their relationships and often leaving their kids behind which is sad.  I live in an area where there are a lot of other expats so it was very hard for me to learn the language when I first arrived in Spain despite my efforts which I have continued with over the years.  The difficulty has been in retaining the information IŽve learnt as I havenŽt had much opportunity to use it. 

When I was initially job hunting this had the knock on effect of not being able to get work with Spanish speaking companies so over the 8.5 years IŽve been living in Spain I have worked in various English speaking jobs.  Personally I didnŽt have any money behind me when I arrived or money to invest so I have been reliant on jobs I can find whether theyŽve been part-time, full-time, well paid or poorly paid although my partner has helped support me when IŽve been out of work.  I started off working in the property market because there were so many companies about when I first moved to the Alicante area but when that all came to an end I had to look at other options.

My other half has been luckier because he had money to invest in his own businesses and has always been self-employed so heŽs a bit of an entrepreneur and can turn his hand to pretty much anything.  Having seen his success I would definitely recommend this as a very good option if you have some money when you first arrive because now there are some great opportunities available which donŽt cost a fortune but whatever you do donŽt open a bar because so many of them fail.

ItŽs sad but I think a lot people find it difficult to sit at home doing nothing when they previously had very busy lives and this is when problems can start.  IŽve met a lot of people whoŽve had problems due to this until they find something to occupy their time and many others also underestimate how much money they will need to survive financially so they have no choice but to find a way to earn a living.

[moderated: no free ads]

Men live is complicate

The real desire is how-well a ROAD-MAP stitched to claim how to proceed life away-home or in rely-home is a technical attorney to be express in healthy norms. Any how my experience of three-decades abroad teach me one good lesson: if you're away from your native country the destine respect and identity of your loyalty will be on trigger, so obviously the respect or environment and culture will-be not that supportive any-how in nature all things can manage and one-must-be-ready to help himself is what I might think to reclaim but sustain some new format of life importence is partly are good to taste and some in ugly form to deslike its preparations thats how you'll learn in life the different cultures and culturistic viabilities.

Life is not emboddied in land but enhance in how well you can support yourself and your-family is much-valuable all EXPATS if your FAMILY is not interested in the quality-life then think as to think there is not just one palace you'll find some in some-good place, but don't ever split life for such a throttle as life friendship is more important then any demography.

I feel we all lost in one-way of life and think what is better for me; in this colum the importence is how you satisfy your family needs in the norms of settle in a settlement hole the real GOAL is it's valuable to share with what other admit and admire.

The relative attendence in communication of audience is what little panic me that how badly we neglect the eligibilities of wife in this journey and in this world when the changes are in changing shape one-must be ralatively honest in maintainning the relationship and if disappear booth will loose and will in hook face a small black patch of not obeying or doing healthy negotiations.

BEST ALTERNITIVE OF THIS NEGOTIATION AGREEMENT IS TO LOOK WHAT IT APPEAR IN YOUR DIMENSION OF MIND AND DO-IT AS WELL AS RESPECT ALL ASSOCIATES NEEDS IN TO DEVELOP HEALTHY LIFE SETTLEMENTS.

hello,I'm glad you started this forum. Thank you.

Julien wrote:

This topic is dedicated to "desperate expat housewives"

I know I am not the best person to talk about it (I am a man), but note that I moved to Spain. I left my situation in the UK, and I arrived in Madrid without a job ...

I spent most of my time at home (I finally worked as a tele-worker for my previous UK employer), doing the shopping, making dinner, and just waiting ...  I had no friends at all ... but what wouldn't we do for love?! 

Is that the kind of life you've got?

What are you main occupations?

Do you think the internet can make you feel less lonely? (I started the Expat.com project this same year)

The net used to make me feel less lonely..now it just bores me.I stay home alone all day,and sometimes,nights as well,while my husband is out working.I'm very depressed these days and if it weren't for this cat I have(sounds silly,but she keeps me company)I'd leave.

what to do when your partner brings you to another country, only to leave you a year later? we are not legally married, though i am legally included his ex-pat package. he has had a hard time adjusting to life in india, now is very depressed (but won't seek help), and has asked us to separate.  as though i could find a job and apartment in a day, a week... in india, even within a month, as things move so slowly here. luckily he has acquiesced to letting me stay in the apartment until i can find temporary housing and a company to sponsor a work visa for me. i don't want to move back to my home country; i love india. he loves me but is so clinically depressed he can't see straight and just wants to be alone. so me, the partner, is out of the picture.


what happened? has anyone else had an experience like this when living abroad? how did you cope or handle it? obviously i need to make use of my own network and move from being dependent on him (as was our initial agreement) to becoming independent again, but i can't make sense out of what has happened.

(moderated: off topic + please avoid copy paste message on all the forums. Thank you.)