What's the secret?

hi sounds that you need to approach them and be a little more bullish, your workmates are probably a little reserved the longer it goes on the more awkward it'll feel to you, i am sure they do not realise this, i have been to sofia a few times over the past 2 years as a solo traveller and been left alone, it might seem until you make the first move you won't know? i hope you can break the ice and made some headway?
i have lived in cyprus for a short while working away i did'nt stick it too long and regret it, it is not that easy to be a solo traveller but many people do get by and hopefully you can get your break, maybe something innocent like bringing in sweets or biscuits to work might bring your workmates around they could be just wary?
best wishes and i can be around for the odd email if that helps any?
regards steve.

hi. thanks for that. i feel that i have been pretty direct with workmates. i have actively invited them out as well as dropping more subtle hints. i have bought coffees for people and shared chocolates. i suspect it is something more systemic and personality related. i have not had these problems before. usually i can get something going with people pretty quickly.

hi. yes you are right. it is much easier to make friends when you already have some!! this is what makes it hard for newcomers to a place to make friends though. bit of a vicious circle. i am not so interested in a pub crawl to be honest. maybe this is based on negative connotations from back home? i am more interested in hiking and hanging out in a less consumptive and debilitated way.

Hi Ross,
Here's another Bulgarian. Seems you've bad luck with your colleagues, I'm wondering what kind of idiots you're working with

Bulgarians especially from the countryside are quite shy, but I think you've done enough to break the chains and bring down the walls.

yes, quite. i would like to emphasise that this has not been my experience with all bulgarians. i think it is very much context specific. it is just unfortunate that the context is work, the place where one spends most of one's adult life. a romanian friend has suggested that they may resent me or be suspicious of me as an apparently privileged english man coming in to take over or something. there may be some truth in this. no one would deny that certain eu countries are given preference over others in many ways and that there is considerable discrimination in evidence even in our supposedly equal and open eu society. however, the irony is that whilst they have studied in some rather elite overseas colleges, i have had a very ordinary education in a british state school in a rather down at heel small town and got my degree through the open university as i couldn't afford to go to a standard one.

anyway i am not so fussed about becoming best friends with them. i would prefer to focus my energies on finding some nice things to do outside of work.

Hmmmm yes, it must be context specific. Anyway, it's better to find a circle outside work, this will give you more confidence at work too.
I don't know how much Romanians understand us. It should be so by definition but after working 3+ years with a few Romanian colleagues, I've noticed that often we think and act differently (for good and bad).
A typical Bulgarian won't feel resentment or think you are "privileged" just because you're British. Actually we often say that we lack respect for any authority or anyone superior (Romanians are not so), plus there's always the curiosity...
Maybe people are too busy with their lives and don't have the same needs as you (which of course is very selfish …) I was in a similar position for 2 yrs in Belgrade. It's the most unlikely place to feel alone, but I felt terrible, until I went to a Spanish course and made a lot of friends (it looks like most people study Spanish just for fun). Even then I've noticed that the most reliable company were other foreigners, locals could always disappear for a number of reasons
If you enjoy these RSVP events, here is one http://www.internations.org/events/view … f=nw_ep_tl (A hint: Carlos Arellano from Mexico is the best contact to have )
But if you prefer hiking, I'll inform you next time somebody organises a hike , feel free to join or not

Greetings,
Georgi

thanks for that georgi. yes i am not going to waste too much time worrying about it. it was just a bit strange and disappointing. but so be it. as you say, i need to focus on building up a social circle outside of work. language classes are certainly a good idea. i am looking into that. and yes, please keep me informed if there is some kind of hiking trip going on. i am very keen to get out of the city to see some nature and get some good exercise.

Hi RoCa78,

Generally making friends in Bulgaria is not difficult. However due to language barriers you will probably find it easier to establish contacts with other expats first. Moreover, they are probably in a similar situation. Try to find some expat gatherings but I personally do not recommend Internations events. Carlos is a very nice guy but he's quite busy with the organisation which is normal and the other people there will probably either have a different idea or visit the events just a couple of times.
So it is a better choice to find a regular event, hiking sounds great by the way, and also bowling, bulgarian folk dance clubs, fitness, any other sports etc....
As for your bulgarian colleagues, I suppose there's some reason for their attitude. Normally they should have invited you to join them within the first 1-2 weeks after you have arrived. We are a very hospitable nation and probably company policy or some other obstacle has hintered this in the company you work for. This means, that time has to pass before they will start behaving normally.
So go find friends outside the company, they will not be prejudiced for sure. Or join a course in Bulgarian, or even try teaching English somewhere ) you have lots of opportunities.

Good luck

thanks kristiann. it's good advice. and thanks to everyone who replied.

Hi RoCa!
I found Bulgarians are quiet easy going and welcoming, BUT your workplace situation is not such uncommon here. I would suggest much easier ways : couchsurfing.org meetings, or ...in some expats pubs or bars people are posting activities... salsa is great for example
Have a good stay here !
Kiril

Hi roca,

I have been here for just over a week and i found that as someone else pointed out some bulgarians are reserved and it pays to be a little bullish and jump in at the deep end and just start talking to whoever you can.

I now have about 5 really helpful and polite bulgarians and have had them all over to my apartment for meals / drinks.

Just show some more confidence and you will make more friends for sure

I think that kristiann hit the nail right on the head when he mentioned language barriers. How are your language skills anyway, RoCa78???

Given that Bulgarians are a bit shy and reserved with foreigners in the first place, perhaps the existence of some language difficulties simply maginfies the problem and this is what impedes your ability to socialize more.

Too many of us English speakers, buy into the propaganda spread by language schools that English is the 2nd most widely spoken language on Earth and the "Universal Language of Business", as an English teacher with a career spanning over 27 years I can tell you that's pure crap and only intended to suck in potential students. The downside of that is that too many of us actually believe it when they say we'll be able to communicate with people all over the world, so we tend to expect them to speak our language rather than us making the effort to speak THEIRS, which is far more respectful.

Think about it. If there is a possibility that they're having trouble understanding you, then improve your language skills and you'll probably improve your social life with colleagues at the same time.

Cheers,
James          Expat-blog Experts Team

Hi everybody,

This is to inform you that some inappropriate posts have been removed from this discussion.

Thanks

Priscilla

HI,
I had the same hard time to find someone to go out. So probably it's not so uncommon for Bulgarians be a little diffident to foreigner at least in working place.