Roller coaster of emotions on leaving USA and heading to philippines

I have been here over 6 months retired at 62 as well.  Around 4 months to learn most of the area, how to take a bus were to shop,  and such.  Learn more every day here.  Big thing is to get out and about most days. Walk a lot of the close places. Speak to the people.

nice to be here i think

Where are you going to live?
How many family members are how close by?
Is it where your wife was born and raised?

Not sure where I will live. Have property in Bicol. Going to start there and travel around to see what suits us. Yes my wife is born and raise there. I have no problems ever with her family. They don't ask me for money. They are self supported. As I said I am very knowledgable of the people and the culture and family issues other expats have with there wives family. It's just starting over again and releasing all the past to move on into future.

Have you experience what I am going into? Emotional part and if so, what worked for you?

Wayne 07 wrote:

As I said I am very knowledgable of the people and the culture and family issues other expats have with there wives family. It's just starting over again and releasing all the past to move on into future.

Have you experience what I am going into? Emotional part and if so, what worked for you?

Have not experienced it yet, in next couple of years.  It is good that there are no family issues for you, always best to have others around to have your back.  Sounds like you are ready to go.  Good Luck!!

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ??

Yes  live here a year. Get out and get to know the area you live in. If you like it here stay.  Philippines is a good place to live

deepseamick wrote:

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ??

You might want to edit your personal info, says you have 22 children.  If that is true, then you are among many fellow Catholics in Puerto Galera.

22 sorry sorry ii statar statar . joke only 2 babys i own a pub and drink big mistake ha ha ha

ok wayne to get the devil off your back is dont hold a grudge . as you said moove on let those aroun you see you are stronger than life . i feel you got hurt i been there and the best thing is to forgive once you forgive the burden disapears and you feel strong again and the weight comes off your shoulders and you feel proud of yorself for doing it

yes its nice i been here 34 years and still having trouble lucky im strong . but i must be here as i have 2 babys and the mother my reind found a boyfreind when i was at sea . it hurt me so i buy a hotel in puerto galera . the mother and me are now brother and sister to keep the peace but i cant win here as my staff are so dishonest tommorrow they are all going to get a big suprize as they are all sacked and i get in a new crowd anyway thanks for contacting me nice

doing good keep it up learn 10 tagalog words a day then in a year your almost there i think you are lucky

i think you will have nice life here,,
jhodie

Your wife will help you!

Wayne07:  I think it's normal to feel some apprehension about transitioning to a new way of life...in another country.  I get that feeling every time I get an assignment overseas (lived and worked worldwide....throughout Asia...and Europe).  But you already have the advantage of having lived there.  Go over the reasons why you are moving there...I mean above and beyond the financial aspect of it.  Sure, most folks who relocate outside the U.S. (specially to the Philippines) focus on how much they'll save instead of how much better their lives would be.   I too, retired from civil service...(after 12 years in the Army), have friends and cousins who also retired in the U.S. and moved to the Philippines.  The reports I get from them..."very happy" they did.  Some stories I heard from expats who transitioned to a life in the Philippines are not nice at all.  I am told of the hassles they go through particularly with the spouse's relatives...who seem to be coming up with every imaginable excuse to extort money from the American husband of a family member.  I was fortunate...most of my friends I hang out with have more money than I have...they're the ones who treat me out all the time.  Not just relatives:  Some hotel in Manila once tried to charge me double what they normally charge the locals...just because I am a "kano".  But the clerk didn't know I speak Tagalog like a native.  When another customer came (a local)...I overheard the conversation and learned that he charged the local customer half of what he charged me).  That's when I pretty much let the clerk have it...in Tagalog!  He was shocked, of course...and with much apology reduced my room charge to what it was suppose to be.  Knowing the language surely helps.

You can be nice to everyone...just be firm when you start sensing that you're being taken advantaged of.  Then look at all the good/positive reasons you are moving there.  I think of the opportunities I have to move about, travel, go to favorite places...and easily afford them.   Try to obtain a Philippine government Senior I.D. (60 y.o. up).   I was able to get one (although I am a U.S. citizen) when I was there on a visit.  I think you only need a residence address.  Check on it ...you get 20% discount on just about everything....transportation (air, land, sea), restaurant dining, theaters, medications, etc.  It's really a good deal...much better than anything they have in the U.S.  Do you speak the language?  I don't know where in the Philippines you are going...but whatever the local dialect is...try to learn it...or at least learn Tagalog...which you can use it anywhere in the Philippines.  Yes, I know.  All you really need to know to get around in the Philippines is English.   But amazing what I fun I have being able to communicate in Tagalog and a couple of other dialects.  I usually get better deals on my purchases...as well, if I communicate with the vendor in his/her local language. 
  So don't concern yourself about adjusting to life there...keep an open mind, learn all you can about the culture, language, customs...and you'll do well...and get to enjoy living there.

Very well said Sir

Thank you. I am working on learning the language. I have a rosette stone course on Tagalog.

As I sell of my house hold goods now its getting easier to master my emotions.

Yes you are correct in fact that itvhelps to consider not what you are losing but gaining

Emotions are not reliable so, I do my best not to live by them.

Thanks again for all your wise council.

I feel this Expat.com has many good people!

Type o sold my goods not hold my goods

with all the experience and feed back Iv had since I retired to the Phillis. all I can say to you is , GOOD luck!! as all that is going to change for you after having been married for 25 yrs? THAT will Change !!!!! As you will be the meal ticket as from now for the rest of the asawas extended family and the whole BARANGAY ( welcome KUYA) for the rest of your  pensionable days .GOOD BYE  and be prepared to be SANTA CLAUSE till you kick the bucket,!!!!!!

You think so????  Bola bola!!!!

Once your there for a while you will settle right in. I lived in cebu for 15 years. Just got back to CA last November because of children issues. I can't wait to get back to the Philippines. I am miserable here with the way things are in this country especially.the liberalism that pervades society. Some things in the PI will drive you nuts like " out of stock!"  but all.in all you will have a good life.

Just sold the house and most of our stuff. Feelings have subsided. Couple of more months and we will be in Philippines for good. Thanks for everyone's input.

It's not the same old Philippines from the days of old. I have lived here 11-yrs, but I started my family here. So I do not have the experience in the marriage department as you do. However, the best thing I would advise is to have patience in all that you do here. It is not the same expeditious service as in the U.S., but for the most part the customer service is good. Do not expect information to be always accurate when asking your service personnel. It is best to become a loyal customer and learn for yourself. You did not state the location of your residence so I cannot advise you in that aspect. I would suggest that you buy or have a house built to you and your wife's preference. There are only two seasons here: hot and hotter, although if you live in the northern region, it will be cooler there and cleaner air.

Overall have plenty of patience and keep your expectations low. If you find yourself willing to help others, do not gain emotional attachment to the point, where you may be disappointed and become angry, if they fail to meet your expectations. Do not lose your cool here. Respect the people and they will respect you.

I am leaving the Philippines to return to the U.S. so I can spend time with my first family and allow my children to meet them. Maybe one day I will return. But I have to assimilate to the U.S. ways once again. Hope your stay here will be pleasant.

I receive what you are saying. We return to P.I. Every two years. I have encounter the things you spoke about. If things don't workout I can also go back to the USA.

Let me say this. I have known my wife family members for 25 years. They have never in 25 years asked me for a dime. They have there own homes and job. Unlike other expat my wife Filipino family don't bug me for money. There mother raised them right.

And if they did asked I reserve the right to say yes or no. Nor does my wife have them asking her. If we choose to give we do. If we choose not to we don't.

I don't cripple people in the USA by giving them money to remain lazy and I want do it in the Philippines. Been there much and I live by this principle.

I was going to comment, but this post pretty much says it all. I would only add "make no big decisions for a year." Rent, don't buy. Don't "invest" in anything. Do not lock into anything you can't easily alter. After about a year, you take a look at where your at and then make some decisions.
Good luck and enjoy. For a few it is hell, but for the majority it is heaven, or at least on the doorstep.

Thanks! I have heard many expat say that. And I believe that is wise council. We are going to travel for a year or two and see where we want to settle down at.

very wise choice...may I suggest taking a trip to Davao, very nice place overall (prices for food, travel, service, etc.). I have not lived there, but I have never had a bad occasion, when visiting. I am on the main island, north of Manila. I have toured a lot of the Philippines, but I found Davao to be the favorite. I am considering retiring there, if I return to the Philippines to reside again.

I have heard mix reviews about it. Some claim it's to far south. It was on my plan to do list. Along with Palawan, Bohol, dumagette, negros, etc..,

Do them all then you will have a great contrast...I do like Palawan and Negros also. But it being so far to the south has not stopped me from returning to Davao.