The Taboo: WHY MORE THAN 45% OF ADULTS IN EUROPE AND USA ARE SINGLES?

OUTSTANDING

Being single is not the same as being alone. People are more demanding nowadays and don't settle for less than what they need. There is ofcourse also people that just don't want to make a commitment. In my case, I simply haven't met someone I can be myself with and that's why I'm single. And that's just it - I'm single. I'm not lonely or feel less happy than other people just because of this. I'm happy as I am, and hope I'll be as happy when I finally meet someone! ;-)

Some people these days prefer to stay single for financial reasons. Busy work schedules often means people do not get the time to look around for a partner.
Carolinna said it all when she stated that "she is not lonely or less happy, but happy as she is until she meets someone".

I am of an older generation and I would not like to be single these days. Am quite happily married but can see why people these days prefer not to hook up until they are settled financially and emotionally before taking the plunge.

Thank you Carolina :-)
I am happy to hear that you are looking forward to be as happy as you are when you find your partner :-) From my own experience, I can tell you that, when you find your partner, you will be exhilarated and your power and energy will just double! Your happiness and enthusiasm will just soar up ! And you would be super happy to have someone to share your life and dreams and problems and purposes with :-)

Good :-) And .....

Thank you stumpy :-)

This is an interesting topic, but I guess there might be as many possible reasons for this situation as people affected by it:)
I think each case is different, but it would be interesting to start a survey on this, maybe some reasons prevail on others or are so "universal" so they could serve as a "collective reply on behalf of the majority".
I find it also interesting that you feel this question is a "taboo" whilst it is constantly discussed on all available media or at least it can be openly approached in our society (...or, at least, at many family events where people openly "wonder" about gentle "him" or "her" not yet being "finally married" :-) )
In my case, it is very simple: I have met the "man of my heart" (who, by the way, lives at the other edge of the world) some years ago whilst I was together with somebody else who lives closer. Despite from the geographical distance, my family obligations (I have a wonderful child from a former relationship) and so on, the real reason for not being able to "cope" with this relationship is that I wasn't used to the amount of happiness which I have been able to share with this man who was a real soulmate to me. I thought it was "more normal" to have a life which wouldn't question my main assumption on the world, that life is a little "average", mediocre etc and that relationship have to be unsatisfying because that's "how the world is like". A wrong assumption, for sure, but I have learnt out of my mistakes, I have lost the man as a partner but could get along with a good friendship. However, I will keep my eyes open and hope to find another soulmate which I won't let "escape" any more. Summarizing, my main problem at the time was probably related to lack of self-esteem and the idea of not having deserved a happy life.
So, now you have got "one story" of one among 45% of singles around Europe.
While trying to meet someone, I often notice that conversation among people remains superficial which makes it difficult to get to know really someone. Maybe this is the real taboo: everybody is doing or consuming plenty of things, but if you ask somebody WHY he/she is opting for something or how he/she FEELS, which are constraints and contradictions of his/her life, you need to be far advanced in conversation and you need to invest time and attention in your interlocutor...and have the will to interact. Starting by myself, I often notice how much I am distracted by stress and how difficult it is sometimes to slow down and really focus on the other person...

Thanks a lot for your extensive response Setare :-) I appreciate it and I understand what you say. Yes, probably a survey would be a good idea. I have also thought about it and have it on my plan for this year.
What I see, mainly from my coaching experience, it seems a combination of stress and the 'mask we put on' as to  how we are 'suppose to be and act'  makes a big difference in our attitudes towards others - including the opposite sex.
It takes courage, self confidence and abilities, such as good interpersonal communication skills, to throw the masks away, to throw the ideas of 'I have to act in a certain way to be accepted and liked'. It also takes the need to know where you are going? What you want to achieve with your partner? etc....
Per my experiences, as soon as these pressing issues are properly and expertly handled, in Q and A conversations, then its much easier to deal with stress, contacting, understanding and creating a positive life with a partner which we can admire.
What do you think?

Hi Homeira, thanks for your interesting reply and your views from your coaching experiences. To come back to your taboo , I very often wonder why there are so few serious wedding agencies even in big cities in Europe...I intend to say good old wedding agencies, like they existed in the 70s or 80s...where people were personnally taken care of by a wedding coach who tries to carefully merge candidates of a similar profile who have also similar ideas, projects, life plans and who want to sit down seriously to see if they could fit. Sounds a little like the arranged weddings at grandparents' times, but they were often quite stable as "coached" by the advice of experienced relatives who could feel if the couple would have chances to fit on a longer term. Today the internet can be useful for that purpose, but it is also a huge pandora box for all sort of people...normal ones, but also psychopaths and criminals...and it is still more anonymous and less care-taking than a serious agency...what do you think?

Hello Setare,

Thank you for your response and sorry for delay in answering you. I would actually prefer if we could be on email lines as I am not on Expat-blog often.

As to your idea re wedding agencies: I (and this is my private idea) think the main reason these agencies do not flourish and expand, or close down after a short while, is that they, like you and many others, are faced with the human beings who have personal problems, concerns regarding relationships, are filled with false information and are not any more themselves, but try to fit into a 'box' of what they believe is the right way to be to find the ideal partner. And unless one has the spiritual technology of how to help and how to find the real problems and how to help the candidates be able to better handle their own considerations, then there will be no real results.
The wedding arrangements of the grandparents times were more successful as people were more themselves and did not have access to all types of false information being bombarded in the society by vested interest to create 'individuals' who have to fit in a 'box' in order to be approved. The same with the internet and mobile and apps. No body really is in contact with others, but mainly view a device and that creates real problem. Can you see this in real life?
(send your answer to my email [email protected]) See you Best, Homeira