How to make friends in Denmark

Meeting expats is never a problem in Copenhagen, especially if you're enrolled in a language school.

Meeting and connecting with Danish people seems to be a source of ongoing disappointment and sadness for many expats, because Danish people as a whole are a tightknit homegenous group, and most friendships are made early in life and tend to be lifelong relationships.

I've had somewhat better luck because I am involved in the local fetish/bdsm community, and many of the participants are a bit more open-minded and less conventional in their outlook as one might expect.

Danish people who may have spent parts of their childhoods abroad also tend to be more open to other nationalities in their circle of friends.

Since Danish people are big fans of clubs and associations, it never hurts to sign up for some group activities such as badminton, football, fencing, chess, etc. etc. in order for you to come into contact with Danish people.

Best of luck!

I can confirm what fuzzy posted here earlier. To me it seems that Danes have a different way of viewing and establishing relationships. They seem to be brought up to 'function' really well in communities ('fælleskab'), which is why signing up to some club or association ('forening') makes sense if you are looking for social contact. They love 'socialt samvær', being together with others who have the same interests. And they are very inclusive, which means that they expect you to say what you think and that you want to contribute. So, on that level, you can expect to meet very friendly Danes with an interest in your opinion, giving you a lot of credit just for being there.
When it comes to forming personal friendships, however, Danes are really difficult, in my eyes. I think every culture has some norms and thresholds marking in what stage of a friendship you are with another person. It's difficult to see what these are in another culture; even discribing what and where they are in your own culture is difficult, because it's tacit knowledge that's just so ingrown.
But there's one certain point seen from the perspective of me as someone having grown up in the German culture. Being friends with somebody means being able to tell your friend exactly how good or bad you feel about something going on in your personal life 'here and now'. You can just let it all go. In showing your innermost feelings, you show your friend that you trust them. The more you reveal of yourself and the more you are ready to hear someone else reveal themselves to you, the more significance is added to that friendship. Now you don't have to spill it out all the time, but your friendship needs to be able to bear it. If both parts feel assured that a friendship can bear it, then that might already be enough to start a deep, personal friendship. Otherwise it's just an acquaintanceship. And there are rules on when you should start telling private things, what kind of things, when to shut up and so on...
In Denmark, I miss this personal level. People are reluctant to talk about their personal success, because it's seen as bragging, which is a no-no. But people don't talk about their personal failures either, because the consensus seems to be that you don't burden others with your personal crises. Huh?? But that's exactly what friends are for in Germany! So according to that mindset, it's difficult for a German to make friends in Denmark.
Of course, there are times when Danes talk about their success and failures. But they don't seem to 'use' this for establishing or maintaining a personal relationship as it is 'used' in the German culture. But I've seen people from other cultures being just as puzzled about the Danes and their understanding of friendship, but I don't know in detail what exactly goes wrong in their communication...

I must say that I have never found Danes or Swedes to be any more or less easy to become friends with then from my home country, the US. I think that is feels this way because we, as immigrants here, are naturally going to have a tougher time meeting people with whom we have no natural connection. We didn't watch the same TV programs, we didn't vote for the same candidates when we turned 18 and we didn't watch the same sports. My experience is that it is easier to meet people here than it was when I moved from New York to Philadelphia! As with anything else, you have to get out there, listen a lot, show interest in other people's lives, and work at it. I am confident that the friends I have made here will be longer-lasting and deeper than those I made when living in Philadelphia. They will never be as close as those I grew up with, but as we all know, it is hard to make friends over the age of 30, whatever country they come from.

1. I agree with fuzzy, language school is one way to make friends in Denmark.

2. You can also apply for the International Rotary club in Copenhagen. There are two English speaking clubs one for those over 30 and the other is for those below 30. They have all kinds of projects going on all year round. All you need to do is to contact them via their websites. You can find more info here rotarynyt.dk/

3. You should use forums. A nice forum I know is called (moderated: no free ads) Paula (the founder) is a nice person and if you have any questions you can post a thread and lots of people will reply to your concern. This is another way to tro making more friends in Denmark.

4. Most importantly, one needs to try to be as social as possible and participate in some gatherings, conferences, seminars and once in a while go to 'crazy' parties.

Oh yeah you can also try to use meetup.com and see if there is anything going on in your local community.

By the way, on Twitter.com you can also search by location and if you follow some nice people from your area you might want to approach them and who know he or she might very well be your friend in Denmark.

On that note, [moderated:no free ads] provides some tips and advice on how to settle in Denmark. It is a weekly web-based TV show about Denmark. Hope you like it too.

Vladimir

hello guys there!

Hello tom kangwa mwape and welcome to Expat.com!

Can you please introduce yourself?

Thank you,
Aurélie

I would like to make friends from Denmark

AM HANNINGTON AGANDAN AGED 19 YEARS IWANT AFRIEND FROM DENMARK TO BE MY BROTER OR ASISTER IN FAITH I WAS BORN ALONE SO I REQUEST ANY BODY TON BEFRIEND ME GOD BLESS YOU SO ,MUCH

Hi Hannington,

Welcome to Expat-Blog

Thank you for your short introduction

P.s - Can you please avoid using caps-lock when posting on the forum so as the other members can understand you message pls

Thank you

Maximilien
Expat-blog Team

yes thanks so much .am the first and last born of my late father and mother who is alive .ihave finished my uganda certificate of education .now am waiting to join university though now in uganda this august they have started .but me due to lack of tution fee for joining university

i will be veryb happy if i get afriend and he or she shall be blessed by the mighty loving God

Hi

I hope to to come Denmark & planing now. I would like  to know about you. I'm an Architect from Sri lanka.

Manjula

wamani hannington wrote:

yes thanks so much .am the first and last born of my late father and mother who is alive .ihave finished my uganda certificate of education .now am waiting to join university though now in uganda this august they have started .but me due to lack of tution fee for joining university

It doesnŽt matter if you are attending school or if you have lived here a 100 years !!!
I say, start the club, and iŽll be one of the first to sign up. LetŽs meet and take it from there !!!

Want to move

hey someone ! how what to talk?

I travel to Denmark every year for 2-3 months for work (from past 3 years) and have had my own set of observations..

1> They are amazingly expert in keeping their professional life & personal life separate.

2> They take time to open up with you, best way to break the ice is a "Beer"!!!  yes!!

3> Once they open up with you, you can trust them with your life.

When I came for the first time, my whole of 3 months were spent in office but gradually with every passing year, the no. of families I'm visiting is increasing. Lunch at an outdoor location with their family, Christmas party or dinner... They love hosting in style..  and keeping in mind that I'm a vegetarian, I still get Bbq's delicacies to eat...   :-)

hi you...
this is omid 33 from tehran
im going to get to denmark by jan 2015
i would be glad to have friends in denmark
and also i have lots of questions to ask
it would be an honor to me if you accept my request for friendship
good day

Am new in Danmark  and am looking  for Friends

Hi Atanasia88 > please note that this is an old and inactive topic. You may not get any reply, so i invite you to start a new thread on the Denmark forum. Thank you

Hello everyone I'm Tin single Mom one Daughter she is graduate college
I'm simple woman ages of 41 old !
I'm here working bat Singapore in 7 years

Am from Tanzania with 27 years old, finding someone to support me in my studies. My name is Martin Fabian Mmbali seeking for masters degree but the problem is fund.

hello let us talk am from Tanzania

Tell me mom, am from Tanzania wiith 27 years old

Hola

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