Lonely in England

I have been out all over this wonderful country and tbh have no reason to go back to Canada, no friends there or family that rally cares. I had one Canadian friend over here but she could not take it so she is on her way back to Canada. I am just having a very hard time meeting people cos they see me as a out cast or American, and when they see me as a American i get treated bad, untill they know i am Canadian then most of the time there tune changes. I just would lie a friend, one around my age and who enjoys doing things with me. I know it is not much to ask for but it is not a easy to find one. I have made friends with my boyfriends friends and his mum and i are close but i think i need a friend of my own, cos i don't get to spend time with anyone but him and his parents.... Maybe i just need to get out alone for a bit, I don't know.

Canadian in England,

I was curious about what kind of visa you have?  Would you be able to get a job?  A lot of times that is a place where you develop relationships with your co-workers, some that might become future friends.

Just one idea.

I have a 5 year visa, I am over on a anstery Visa. I want to work but need some up grading to get back into my feild of work. I think that i may find a few friends that way.

Thanks for the idea soon2bexpat

Well - it is certainly not easy to make friends in UK - the brits are very reserved and snobby about a lot of things - but all depends on where in UK u live and what you have to offer as a person. Ive spent a lot of time in London - almost 2 years now and made some friends but it takes a lot of effort to make good friends here. Try to join groups or organizations which you have things in common with - so u can meet others who have something in common with you. A lot of Brits look down upon everyone - not just Americans - just as Americans have a bad reputation in UK - the British have a worse reputation in the rest of Europe... but seek out the educated, cultured people and make an effort - you will be fine.

Two months in is one of the hardest parts of the transition, in my experience - and I truly sympathize, because I'm about to do it all over again in a couple of months.  It is hard at that point because some of the excitement of the new has warn off, you feel exhausted from all the new information you're taking in on a daily basis, and the things you would normally reach to for comfort aren't within reach. It is totally natural to feel a bit depressed, and if you aren't working at the moment it is even easier to feel isolated. But hang in there, it gets better.

My experience with Brits is that they are hard to meet unless you have some point of entry - but an introduction from a friend or family member, meeting through work or school, or by joining a group where you meet through a shared interest - these things work wonders.  You mentioned needing to upgrade your skills - perhaps finding a training programme or some other course would be a good idea? You could also do some volunteering - which would get you out of the house a bit and introduce you to some new people on your own terms.

It will take a bit of effort, but from what you've said I think you'll be fine.  And, by the way, even though I'm an awful Yank I got by just fine - usually by being willing to make fun of myself and some of my country's idiosyncrasies, but also by trying to show people that there are decent Yanks out there too.

Hello,

I lived in the U.K. for three years and it took me nearly a year to get over the culture shock and start to enjoy myself. It helped when I made friends through my British husband. You are making a good effort by talking to people online. I wish I had had the internet twenty years ago to help me connect with others but alas it was not there. So continue to take advantage of talking to others online, as you have done, and possibly find some other Canadian and American ex-Pats you can connect to or meet up with. There are a lot of ex-pat bloggers out there who have the same kind of feelings you do.

I now blog about my love for Britain and how much I miss it. Feel free to stop by and say hello or email me personally if you like. I'm not Canadian but I can certainly relate to how you feel about acclimating to Great Britain.

Best wishes,

Melissa
Smitten by Britain

Hello there... I, too, have been here for two months and am having a lot of the same feelings you are having.  Having no one to relate too is the hardest thing and something I never really thought of before moving.  I mentioned to my husband the other day that I am worried about never finding any friends and feeling lonely and his advice was that I have to "try harder" (!?!).  Excuse me if this is obvious to everyone else, but how exactly does one try to make friends?  I have a job, but there are only 13 people who work here and they are all much older than me with children and not exactly keen on going out for a drink or anything. It feels so strange to ask, but what else can one do to make friends?

hello everyone .....

I am not brit nor canadian ... I just recently moved from the middle east. I lived in Doha for 8 years (2 years in Singapore previously). Have a very wide social friends and girlfriends. Now come here ... i find it hard to make friends.

I know this is the drill when you moved to a new country but I still find it hard

Canadian in England wrote:

I have a 5 year visa, I am over on a anstery Visa. I want to work but need some up grading to get back into my feild of work. I think that i may find a few friends that way.

Thanks for the idea soon2bexpat

I think you're on the right track with work - bottom line, you've got to establish some sort of independent life for yourself aside from the friends and relationships you've inheirited from your partner.  That's a key to feeling good about your self worth and building a social network.  If it's hard to find a paying job or you want to focus on upgrading your skills for your line of work, why not volunteer somewhere in the meantime?  There are vast numbers of charities in this country dying for help, and some can lead to valuable job experience, not to mention a few friends.  There's lots of information on it online: http://www.volunteering.org.uk/

Good luck!

Claire

www.clairecraigevans.blogspot.com

I am not sure where about in England you are but I know a lot of ex-pats have made friends by being involved with baseball or softball in the UK www.baseballsoftballUK.com

It is a great way to meet people, even if it is for a few tournaments in the summer.

Our baseball club is based in Waltham Abbey, Essex and our season runs from April to September so you are welcome to come and see us play during the season.  If you think that would be too boring then try joining one of the co-ed softball teams as I hear they have loads of fun both on and off the field!!

Check out our website when it is up and running www.essexarrows.com

Good luck!

Hi Canadian in England,

I agree with those who propose going to forums. You never know really. Interestingly, I actually met up with some people whom commented on my blog.

Hang on there and stay warm.

C K

Hi, I know so well how you feel!
I have been here 18 months and never, NEVER I felt accepted.
My boyfriend too tried to help me, but I am Italian and English people for ma are just too cold.
Nobody looks at you and being kind seems too of a hard task.
I hope I'll leave soon this place because living in England is been the worst experience ever had.

I know this is an old thread, but I don't agree, I had a same feelings when moved to England, but then I moved to Austria and it was there where I realised who is more cold and unfriendly...  My colleagues in England were caring, even I never forget a cobbler living close to my house, very friendly... This never happened to me in Austria