How a car accident changed my view on living abroad

Last May I decided to pack up my things and get out of the cold (May isn't really cold, but it isn't always warm either) and head to Costa Rica! I love the beach. I love wildlife. I love nature. So the move wasn't such a hard decision to make.

I was living happily in my little city, not far from an expat community, and studying Spanish on my own time but not really advancing. Then in September I took an intensive Spanish class with Instituto Estelar Bilingue in Liberia. My high school Spanish started to come back to me little by little and I learned so much so fast, I blew myself away. I took another 3 weeks of classes in October and advanced one level at a time, getting more and more confident with my new language each day. I began talking with people at the supermarket - actually talking!! I was making mistakes and that was okay because I was trying, and with each mistake I learned something new. I took a few more weeks of classes in November and I was starting to really feel confident in my Spanish skills.

Then I witnessed a car accident in December. After a day trip to Palo Verde, my car and a car of friends were heading back to Liberia when I watched their car drive straight into an oncoming bus. The driver died instantly. His wife and daughter walked away with minor injuries, but too much grief to even describe. My friend had been sitting behind the driver and was taken to the hospital with a leg that might not make it. I went with her in the ambulance, and that is when my Spanish was really put to the test.

As soon as we got to the emergency room they started pounding me with questions. What is her name? How old is she? Where is she from? What is her birthday? Do you know her passport number? What is the last thing she ate?

The questions kept coming and coming and I noticed that they weren't going to touch her until I answered every single question. I wanted to tell them to just start helping her and we can deal with the questions later, but it was obvious that wasn't going to happen.

I took a deep breath, asked the doctors to slow down when asking me their questions, and amazingly I was able to answer every single question they had for me. Eventually, they began working on her and miraculously her leg was saved (after many surgeries and eventually flying to the states for therapy).

That day, I started thinking about all the third conditionals (I am an English teacher haha) - the hypothetical situations in the past that you can't change, but you can think about. If I had been in the other car, that would have been my leg. If we hadn't woken up so early for the trip, maybe the accident wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't studied Spanish, I would have been completely useless to my friend in that emergency room.

That last hypothetical is what has changed my view on living abroad. So many people live abroad and don't make the effort to learn the new language. Sure at restaurants, hotels, resorts, spas, and the supermarket, the employees will probably speak in English. Even at the local pharmacy there could be an English speaker on the staff. But if you are in an accident and the nurses in your emergency room don't speak English - what will you do? How will you tell them your name, your age, your birthday, where you are from, your passport number, and the last thing you ate?

So whatever country you are in, make an effort to learn the language. I saw firsthand that it is important and it matters. Take a few classes, learn the basics, and improve your life abroad. One day, it could save your life.

Much thanks to Instituto Estelar Bilingue for the outstanding classes that prepared me for the horrible situation I was put in. You have given me a gift that will put me at ease for the rest of my time in Costa Rica <3

justachicaincostarica-

Sorry to hear of the emergency, loss and injuries. You have written an excellent blog...and all should take heed to your advise.

Thank you

Thank you very much, and thank you for reading =)

I really hope that a few people take my advice!

I thought it was going to be that you were in an accident and had terrible medical care and decided not to live abroad! I don't know why I thought that, I just did. ;-D

Anyway glad your friend's leg was saved. I would have thought that in  Costa Rica there wouldn't have been so much bureaucracy like here, before your friend was admitted for care. That sucks that hospitals do that.

I totally agree with you that if you are going to live in a country, learn their language as quickly and as well as you can. In fact, never give up learning! Keep becoming better and better! It's not only better for your life there, it's better for your brain as well, to always be learning.

I know many Latinos here in the U.S. who don't bother to learn the language or else they learn "enough" and then give up and always make a lot of mistakes for the rest of their lives rather than learning to speak and write correctly. I don't want to be one of those, I want to learn Spanish to the utmost of my capability. Not that one has to go to school forever or study all the time but just ask people to correct you and do your best to remember and learn the the language correctly.

I encourage people to at least start learning some language skills of a country before even visiting it. Then if they decide to live there, take an IMMERSION course at a recommended accredited language course. MAKE AT LEAST ONE OR TWO LOCAL FRIENDS to practice with. Maybe they want to practice ingles while you practice Spanish. I did that. Or just find locals who speak Spanish only who are willing to try to help you get better. It can be frustrating at times, but the rewards are great!

One of the most important factors in enjoying living in a foreign country is being able to communicate well with the locals. Without that, you will likely feel isolated and fail to get the most out of life there.

Thanks for expressing this idea; it is an important factor.

Very useful tips! Thank you, SamRamon!

Are you Latino? If so, WOW! Your English is fantastic!!

LOL nevermind. I just read your bio haha

But still, great advice. Thank you for your support and added wisdom to my post =)

justachicaincostarica wrote:

LOL nevermind. I just read your bio haha

But still, great advice. Thank you for your support and added wisdom to my post =)


Hi, justchica, I am an "honorary" Tico and Mexican but am a gringo. My wife however is Mexican; and I have been visiting and/or living in Costa Rica for almost 25 years., having lived there for about 6 months on 2 different occasions, and having visited dozens of times, sometimes for over a month at a time, and have many friends, including Ticos, Americans and French and Swiss etc. who live there full time.

I also know of a couple people who uprooted their life in the USA to move to  Costa Rica and build a home etc there, and then bailed out within a year or so. Usually the reason is a lack of ability or motivation or skills, to assimilate to the Tico culture, a big part of which is learning Spanish.

Yeah it is really crazy how many people live here without the intention of learning Spanish. The expat communities allow this though because you can go to any restaurant, bar, event, etc. and all of the workers can speak Spanish. But that isn't always true in the hospitals :/

Well anyways good for you! It's awesome that you have lived so many places =)

It is important to know that not all towns have banks, supermarkets, hotels, bars and restaurants that have English speaking staff. Or even the companies that offer tourist activities, possibly with the exception of the owner.  Nor do doctors offices.

Right? That's what makes it scary.

I applaud anyone who takes the plunge and lives abroad - it is an amazing experience that can change your outlook on life completely. However, I feel that it is not only rude, but also pretty ignorant to not even try to learn the language. If something happens and you can't communicate the problem, then what do you do?

Ticos are taught that paperwork is God. It takes 4 Ticos and innumerable papers just to buy a flashlight.MANY people die due to this idiocy and they don't have enough guts, nor brains to change it.

That accident was so tragic. The pictures alone were enough to make your stomach turn.
(Moderated: no free ad on the forum pls + register in the business directory)
Thanks for posting, justachica!!

Thank You so much for your story, knowing just the basic Spanish for restaurants, hotels, etc, you have helped me realize something very important and while I have been to Costa many many times and will be there again soon I've never looked at knowing the language this way, thanks and I will work on this NOW. Hope your friend has 100 percent recovery and what a fine friend she has in you. Carol

Wow, thank you for sharing this story.  I have to agree wholeheartedly, living in a country and not speaking the language does make a person appear ignorant and disrespectful, but your story shows that it is about much more than just respect.  It's about being able to function as a proper member of (in this case) Costarican society. 

As for learning Spanish, there is nothing more effective than just diving into conversation with a Tico to learn and improve your Spanish!

You're welcome! Thanks for reading! I really hope that people hear what we are saying and at least try to learn the language of the place where they are living.

Thanks again! :)

Great advice!!

Thank you , heart felt information.
Sandra& Mike

Great advice and I've been working on my Spanish.

I read your post and thought that it was an excellent post. I have been living here in Costa Rica for a little bit over two months. I also AM learning my Spanish. I think communication is the number one priority. I have met many new friends in Costa Rica and everyday I am learning more and more Spanish. It is working both ways, I am learning my Spanish and I am also teaching them English. Your blog has also shown a very good reason to be able to speak the language of whatever country you are living in.

I am always stunned when I meet expats who isolate themselves in a little bubble, interacting only with other expats, complaining about "the locals" and the prices, etc. I'm sad to say that I know too many of these folks. I want to say, "Hey, spend two years living in the third poorest country in the world, in West Africa, and then tell me that Costa Rica isn't great in most every way." My best friend in-country is Tica . . . very well educated, quite sophisticated, and completely bi-lingual. I have never met a Tico(a) who doesn't want to know at least a few words in English. Bravo! Continue your Spanish and continue teaching English to anyone who wants to learn. Again, bravo! I'll also add that our best security "system" is knowing all the Ticos who live anywhere near us. No one drives up to road to our home without our Tico friends knowing about it. Am I naive and in the honeymoon phase? Probably/possibly. I can only say that I believe that you have the correct attitude.

Just be cautious as not all robbers arrive and carry away their 'cache' by car... They are more likely to walk in and through conditions where no ex-pat would care to tread..

True. So true. We've lived and travelled in so many places, and I'll include our home in North Texas as a place where you never let down your guard. To do so would be foolish, anywhere in the world in the 21st century. But there's common sense, and there's paranoia. We walk that tight rope between the two. My point was: I know Tico Sally, whose father-in-law is Tico John, whose brother is Tico Sam married to Tica Betty, whose cousin is Tico Jim . . . and they're all friends whom we meet, greet, and occasionally take coffee with . . . so they know us and we know them . . . and if anything happens at our home, they're likely to know who was up on our mountain.

We have lived in a similar environment, and still we were robbed. Neighbors sleep too...and even go out on occasion.They also know others who may not be so trustworthy...
Again, just continue to be cautious.

Your point is very well taken. I might add, I feel it is disrespectful to move to someone else's country and not bother to learn the language - it is frustrating for them to listen to us and still they are so polite and helpful!

While I totally agree that one should learn the language of the country that you intend to live in, for many people it is very, very difficult.
Sure, some can order café con leche or say buenos dias...but to have an actual conversation and really understand what is being said, is beyond many...and it will takes much longer than you think it will

point taken - but maybe we need to define 'learn' the language. I am by no means completely fluent, but all the people I talk to appreciate that I am trying. And there is a LOT of vocabulary that is almost identical to English so a couple of simple tricks give a real leg up to 'trying'.

My Spanish teacher must have provided those same "tricks."  My Tico friends tell me how good my Spanish is. I always question whether they're just telling me that; and I do say that to them in Spanish. I've found this true in several countries (German-speaking, French-speaking, Spanish-speaking) . . . if one can say just a few phrases in the local language, the locals will never believe that you don't really speak the language. So they're ready to chat while I'm trying to make out just a few words of their phrases. The most important part is: we all get a good laugh out of it.

Great post  "justachica"
..I know it was written in 2014 but although I have been in Costa Rica 25 years I have not been on this site long and just read your post. I agree with your advice and even though many of us do not want to or have the funds for the high priced Schools here it IS possible to learn as I did from LISTENING then trying to speak it in Supermarkets etc.
Within 3 months I amazed myself that I could make myself understood., (Granted I was a CHURCH for 2 years but look up how similar the words "English" and "Church" are . So now I never attempt either word but  now say that I am from England (jeez no wonder I got weird looks when I answered people who asked "De Donde estas"
I am now very fluent in Spanish,in fact it is frustrating when I speak fast and Ticos who don't know me stare with mouths agape not used to a Gringette gabbling in Spanish but  have friends here who have also been here same amount  of time and still struggle with a few Spanish words with very Gringo accent s :) I wonder of that is becaise they chose to live in Escazu, Santa Ana, Grecia, and other Gringo Gulches :)?
  I came here knowing 3 words, of Spanish, however because I chose to live in an area devoid of Gringos and HAD to learn Spanish and yes it is true that whatever the woman in the supermarket   meat and fish line ordered is what we had for dinner, (It was difficult trying to hide 10 lbs of hamburger meat from a vegetarian husband ( 5 kilos de carne molina :)
oh well I learned )
So give it a go ... Speaking Spanish  has gotten me out of many undeserved traffic tickets and emergency situations also.

I've been speaking Spanish for 15 years or more and I STILL have problems understanding some locals here in Costa Rica! or tv shows sometimes... and radio...

It takes time submerged in the culture and especially submerged in particular accents and sometimes even particular people's manner of speech.

I find many campesinos slur their words and don't finish the word (i.e. leave off the last sound of the word etc) so it can be very challenging.

But if you do try, and do make an attempt and improve little by little, people appreciate it. Having conversations "as best as you can" with locals is very very rewarding and a major key to assimilating here.