Having your significant other in your place. Is it legal?

Brought my gf to my hotel's room, no problem. They asked if she was staying overnight, then they would need her passport. Went on vacation with her and no hotels asked if we were married. Maybe, that  was the case years ago. But with so many foreigners with Vietnamese girlfriends nowaday, no one cares .... just your US greenbacks.

I had a special female friend come over several time for dinner and movies @ my home. Only once did the local police knock on my door and they asked her a few question in vietnamese, smiled at me and left without any issues.  I agree with "away land" I think because foreigners are so much part of daily life here, the modern guard just doesn't care, or it's something some "tea money" can't make thing right     Enjoy ur new found love and don't worry

Even though it's illegal to stay with a woman at night, there is not much problem here in Vietnam. If the local police visit during night, just say you are going to marry her. (Of course they will ask the relationship)
Vietnamese law is very liberal in this case.

After marriage in VN, the wife keeps her maiden name, ( kids sometimes carry both mum and dads surnames ), so it would be difficult to know who is married or not.  ( Adulterers paradise? )
  My wife doesn't use my surname in VN, although we were married in Aus, and the marriage was , ' legitimised ' in VN..

Actually it's very easy to find out whether the couple married or not if the officials ask for a marriage certificate 

bluenz wrote:

After marriage in VN, the wife keeps her maiden name, ( kids sometimes carry both mum and dads surnames ), so it would be difficult to know who is married or not.  ( Adulterers paradise? )
  My wife doesn't use my surname in VN, although we were married in Aus, and the marriage was , ' legitimised ' in VN..

charmavietnam wrote:

Actually it's very easy to find out whether the couple married or not if the officials ask for a marriage certificate 

bluenz wrote:

After marriage in VN, the wife keeps her maiden name, ( kids sometimes carry both mum and dads surnames ), so it would be difficult to know who is married or not.  ( Adulterers paradise? )
  My wife doesn't use my surname in VN, although we were married in Aus, and the marriage was , ' legitimised ' in VN..

That's one thing I don't have a habit of carrying around with me?????  But then I don't go to hotels in my home town either.

You know, most of women who come to a foreigner's hotel room probably is a prostitute. I'm sorry but it's true. So that's the reason why some hotels do not allow foreigners to bring a lady to their rooms but if they pay a room for her. But I think you can argue with the receptionist about it.

  there's prostitution In Vietnam?  Seriously?    Really?    Where. I never seen it

It used to be illegal for a Vietnamese woman to live, or stay overnight with a foreigner in a house or hotel. Recently some people have posted that the law is no longer valid. I do know that in 2008 my wife and I were here on vacation and the Hyatt refused to rent us a room because she was Vietnamese and we did not have our marriage certificate.

Parmyd wrote:

It used to be illegal for a Vietnamese woman to live, or stay overnight with a foreigner in a house or hotel. Recently some people have posted that the law is no longer valid. I do know that in 2008 my wife and I were here on vacation and the Hyatt refused to rent us a room because she was Vietnamese and we did not have our marriage certificate.

Same thing with me in 2009, I thought it was just a backward country thing, ( that was easily fixed with a 1 mil bribe, although I did have to spend that night in a hotel here, by myself ). but have since found out no Foreigner is actually allowed to stay in the wife's village at all, ( it is small fishing port, bit of Communist paranoia? )

Blue, just spent nearly three weeks in Tam Vu 2, Hau Giang. Can't get much more 'wife's village' than that. Even met a Finnlander who was living with his Vietnamese wife across the canal in Tam Vu 1.

If your wife's home is a fishing village, perhaps the regulation is left over from the Boat People days when the government was trying to stop people from leaving.

As for the policy itself, I find it still followed in the remote provinces, but not in areas with a heavy tourist practice. In my wife's case, her VN visa suffices to establish her status. You'd think the Hyatt would be attuned to that. We stay in small hotels, and even the Lao Dong guesthouse in District 1, who have always let us room together.

MrshyONE wrote:

  there's prostitution In Vietnam?  Seriously?    Really?    Where. I never seen it

Nguyen Chi Thanh street, Nguyen Thi Minh Khai ( Thi Nghe bridge), Dien Bien Phu bridge, you will see if you have time. And when you're in a hotel, you'll see though.

hoanghai9x wrote:

MrshyONE wrote:

  there's prostitution In Vietnam?  Seriously?    Really?    Where. I never seen it

Nguyen Chi Thanh street, Nguyen Thi Minh Khai ( Thi Nghe bridge), Dien Bien Phu bridge, you will see if you have time. And when you're in a hotel, you'll see though.

I was joking.  But goid to know

lirelou wrote:

Blue, just spent nearly three weeks in Tam Vu 2, Hau Giang. Can't get much more 'wife's village' than that. Even met a Finnlander who was living with his Vietnamese wife across the canal in Tam Vu 1.

If your wife's home is a fishing village, perhaps the regulation is left over from the Boat People days when the government was trying to stop people from leaving.

As for the policy itself, I find it still followed in the remote provinces, but not in areas with a heavy tourist practice. In my wife's case, her VN visa suffices to establish her status. You'd think the Hyatt would be attuned to that. We stay in small hotels, and even the Lao Dong guesthouse in District 1, who have always let us room together.

There are still no camera signs around here, ( including the big pillbox/gun emplacement  at one end of the QN bridge ) Twice in one day I was told not to take photo's by the part time policeman, ( 2009, but he said it was ok for my wife to take the same pic's for me???? ) one was where my bro n laws fishing boat was moored, and the other was at the mouth of the estuary, also a Foreign friend of mine was stopped up in the hills recently, he had to take his VN wife to the Cong An HQ here , and do a lot of explaining as to what he was doing up in them thar hills.

Only some hotels enforce this law it's happened to me & my girlfriend just few times in the past few years but it just happened to me again today in Binh Duong.  It's pretty annoying.

And the excuse is to prevent prostitution but what about all the Vietnamese guys taking girls to their rooms, why are they exempt?

I also feel that if these handful of hotels are going to enforce this that they should have warnings on their webpages and Agoda pages etc.  I have argued that point to the hotels that it is not written anywhere and that I've paid up front for the room, sometimes they will book a second room at no extra charge.

8 years ago, in a Vung Tau Hotel, I had to pay for a 'girlfriend' to stay the night. I paid for another room at half price and she stayed in my room.

My Wife and I have never had any problem staying in Hotels together and we holiday often. In our houses in HCMC and the Mekong - we always register me in the House Books. We now travel with our Son who only speaks Vietnamese but looks like a White Kid.

The Policy of who can Hotel together is governed by the local Government Officials (who have different views) and complied with by the Hotel, which is why there are still no set answers to the question.

herbj wrote:

The Policy of who can Hotel together is governed by the local Government Officials (who have different views) and complied with by the Hotel, which is why there are still no set answers to the question.

Thanks for your response, but I asked about spending time together in your own residence (eg. your apartment), not hotels.

Sorry - it's the same.

It is illegal to have sex outside of marriage, not as strict as it was, and a bribe, if caught, will keep you out of trouble.

If any person stays with you overnight, they must be registered in your House Book which is where the bit I wrote on government officials comes in - it is the same as Hotels.

Best of luck.

herbj wrote:

If any person stays with you overnight, they must be registered in your House Book which is where the bit I wrote on government officials comes in - it is the same as Hotels.
.

Thanks, that's the info I was looking for.

Is this less of an issue in HCMC than it is elsewhere?

If anyone stays in a Hotel or any place.  A copy of the Passport or VN ID Card is placed with the House Book and taken to the local authorities for stamping and registration in the government records within 24 hrs. 

What has occurred at my HCMC House - Plain Clothes Police visit each residence at irregular intervals and ask to see the House Book and to verify it with their registration. They ask about people staying at the residences in the street. They ask if people play loud music, are drunk, do drugs, beat up their Wife etc. I live in a mainly Vietnamese area Q11.  When I stay overnight in HCMC and I haven't been there for more than 3 mths, my Wife races down to the local Police with the House Book and registers me as living in the House for whatever is left on the Immigration Stamp up to 90 days.

What has occurred at my Mekong House - Everyone was given a sign and ordered to place it at the entrance to their property, it reads 'I will look after my family and family is good'. The Police visit and ask neighbors who is living at the house, if they are good, do not get drunk always and not beat up their Wife. My Wife takes my Passport to the local Police who copy the date of entry up to 90 days into their Registration of who is staying at my house.  There is no House Book.
An extended family member had sex with her boyfriend after he said he would marry her. He then moved away. The family reported him to Police for having sex outside of marriage but because the Father of the young man was friends with the local Police - no charges were laid.

As I have realized when reading info from Forums regarding Vietnam - the information is specific to one area. Each area (suburb, village, town, city) will have a different way of doing things. If the Police are proactive and take their job seriously, there is little crime and no bribes, however, if you happen to have out of control Police who request bribes constantly, life would be hell.
The first question I ask before I move into a residence (which can only happen when you are here) is, I ask possible future neighbors 'are the Police any good and do their job', I then go to the Police and ask if there are any problems in the area I want to live with my possible future neighbors (if there are problems, expect more Police visits). I always hope that there are Police (good ones) who live near by.  I do this no matter where I live, including my home country.

Hope this is enough info.

herbj wrote:

An extended family member had sex with her boyfriend after he said he would marry her. He then moved away. The family reported him to Police for having sex outside of marriage but because the Father of the young man was friends with the local Police - no charges were laid.

Whoa, this sounds a bit scary.  So, if you end up having sex with a woman and subsequently piss her off, you could potentially find yourself in trouble with the law?

Well, the relative was pissed off and she reported it - so it is possible. A female friend of my Wife did the same thing but it was a bit more messy with photo's being involved etc. I don't think it happens often and then it is up to the Police to take action.

As far as I understand it is still illegal for a foreigner to stay with a Vietnamese girl in a hotel or house. Most of the time however it's not strictly enforced. some hotels will make you pay for an extra room and yet the hotel next door will let you co-habit, I've been with my gf for 5 years and when we travel around we occasionally get asked to hire 2 rooms, if this happens I always take the keys for the other room we've paid for to stop them double renting it. A few hotels I expect charge you just to get extra cash from you. We've shared a house together for over 3 years and the police have never knocked on our door. Your landlord/landlady should be able to sort all that out when you first take the agreement and will normally go to the local police and pay a small fee to keep them from your door. I have a friend however who gets hassled all the time and a small amount money for coffee sends the police on their way.

so worst case scenerio what is the punishment for staying with vietnamese girl out of marriage in apartment?
is it a fine or jail time?

same of having sex out of marriage with a vietnamese girl, a fine jail time?

worst case scenerio?

Oh my God!!!
I was astonished reading all over the discussion here.

How come there're so many misunderstanding about the most stable thing that expat have to know? This leads to many ridiculous rumors.

I'm busy running to my meeting now. I'll be back tonight and wipe out all of your worries but firstly be calm down!

Have a nice day, all cute expat! :-p

Scarletvn wrote:

I'll be back tonight and wipe out all of your worries but firstly be calm down!

I'm perfectly calm.  Calmer than you are, dude.

Looking forward to your reply.

Hi!
To quick answer: there's no law restrict you from inviting someone (male/female) to your place, except for moral rule which is quite popular in most Asian countries (which Confucius's dogma still slightly effects). So, please be aware that if a girl accept to sleep at your place so easily after a very short time knowing each other, that Southeast Asian girl normally may be not well-educated or may have other intentions toward you. Unless you wanna a 1 night stand or don't care about her, just remember how different our cultures are. If you wanna a real relationship, know more about us before choosing which one to go with/what to do next before you get hurt/cheated and blame for that.

Now I talk about the law:
- In order to stay in a hotel, foreigners/Vietnamese must submit their passport/citizen identity card.

- To prevent from prostitution, you must prove your relationship if a girl wants to stay in the same room with a foreigner. However, it's not really strict and all you have to do is to invite her come by your place a few times (not stay over the night) before spending 1 night with you. They normally don't ask you to prove your relationship if you sleep with another Asian girl (Thailand, Malaysia,...) cause they supposed they're not prostitute (and because they're not good at English ^_^). I mean the law requires to prove that, no matter who the girl is.

The most unlucky case is when the police suddenly come at night to check if the hotel is doing anything illegal. And letting a girl sleep with anyone (foreigners or Vietnamese) without marriage certification is referred to a prostitution case.
That's why there's some hotels who obey the law will ask you to rent 1 more room. They have reason to do that. However, most of them bribed the polices already to protect their business. So, unless you stay there just 1,2 nights, if you stay for a long time and your gf come occasionally, just try to be nice with hotel's staff by giving them tips sometimes, make friend with them, they'll help.

- About staying in a Vietnamese's house:
It's a must to register for anyone (Vietnamese/foreigners) to stay at your place for their temporarily/permanent stay
1. If you rent the house, the landlord must register a business license so that they will have to pay tax. When they have the business license, they can register for foreigners as their guests in their Registration Book for tabernacle. Let's consider this as a different type of hotel.
So, if you rent a house and pay, ask the landlord to do all paperwork. It's their business to do that.
In some cases, they want to avoid the taxes and it might get you in trouble, especially when you pay them money without signing a contract.

2. You visit a friend's house and want to stay there for couple of days, they have to register for your tabernacle, too.
However, since you just stay there for free and they don't have business license to rent their house, the house owner should go the local police to explain. It's good if your friend has a good relationship with them. If not, they may have to bribe the police.

3. You stay in a Vietnamese's house, whom you have relationship with (marriage, relatives,...)
For a few days, just show the police the proof of that. Everything's ok! That proves they don't try to break the law by avoiding tax.
In case you stay there for a long time, they will register your name in their Registration Book.

I hope this can help.
Vi.

DanFromSF wrote:

herbj wrote:

An extended family member had sex with her boyfriend after he said he would marry her. He then moved away. The family reported him to Police for having sex outside of marriage but because the Father of the young man was friends with the local Police - no charges were laid.

Whoa, this sounds a bit scary.  So, if you end up having sex with a woman and subsequently piss her off, you could potentially find yourself in trouble with the law?

It's not because he slept with her.
It's because "he said he would marry her" then he moved away.
You don't think that Southeast Asian girls just easily sleep with you or have relationship then you dump her anytime you feel not want to stay, do you? I don't think most of woman in this world would accept that.
Only girls you can have sex and subsequently piss her off and she agrees without taking any action are ones who have sex with you to get money or something from you. Honestly I must say, if you'd preferred such an easy way, just find some 1 night stand girls or easiest, prostitute. (Not offense)

Scarletvn wrote:

Only girls you can have sex and subsequently piss her off and she agrees without taking any action are ones who have sex with you to get money or something from you. Honestly I must say, if you'd preferred such an easy way, just find some 1 night stand girls or easiest, prostitute. (Not offense)

You say "not offense" quite freqently.  Instead of that, perhaps you should give the person the benefit of the doubt, rather than being so judgemental.  I have never indicated I wish to "preferred such an easy way".  I simply find it odd that the police can get involved in these matters.  This does not happen in my country.

The people on this forum are asking questions because we do not understand certain aspects of your society and culture.  Specifically, it's quite odd to us that the police will ask questions about who we have in our homes.  We live in countries with privacy protections and even if a policeman comes on our property, we can ask them to leave unless they have reasonable grounds for being there.  In the US, our Constitution/Bill of Rights says we do not have to answer their questions.  In other words, if a police comes to my door and asks who is in my house and/or whether we are married, I can tell them to piss off and there is little they can do about it.  Actually, it's a moot point, because it would not happen in the first place.

I know you're trying to be helpful, but your tone is a bit condescending, if not ridiculing.  If you truly want to be helpful, you ought to realize we're not all sexual degenerates whose goal is to bed multiple Vietnamese women, but trying to understand your society so we can fit in better and perhaps see things from your point of view.  I'd suggest you might try to do the same. Thanks.

Sorry if I made you feel that!
Maybe I met so many foreigners who did bad things.
Will try to be more considerate.

Scarletvn wrote:

Sorry if I made you feel that!.

Thank you for the apology.  However, it's not necessary, as you didn't make me feel anything.  I have simply read several of your posts that seem to scold us for asking what may seem obvious to you, as well as question our motives.  I appreciate your insights into Vietnamese society and your willingness to share, but a presumption of innocence would be nice as well.