About to marry a jordanian man...

philano79 wrote:

Expat.com team,

May i suggest blocking any further discussion on this topic. I have been receiving an endless number of threads on the topic over the past two years and everybody is speaking about the negative image of Jordanian men. Topic is now too much exausted by now. Jordanian men are just like any other men in the world.
Belal

I agree with you,

And to (vwbug) I don't know what you've got against low income people but I know I'm not naive...I don't know where you get your point of view from but I know many many low income people who are open minded and educated enough, inside and outside Jordan, for example : I know a low income artist from here, he's a painter and have a Spanish girlfriend and he's completely open minded with her as she get to wear whatever she want and go out whenever she want,  but you may go ahead and believe whatever you want, to me the most important aspect of whether or not someone is free and open minded is all about the brain's mechanisms, some people naturally have a deeper and more realistic view of life regardless their surrounding or income...and yeah I know many Jordanian men have proven what I said wrong but also they proven what you've said wrong as well because I know that many many high income Jordanian men are closed minded, keep in mind that I've lived all my life here and I have came across countless numbers of Jordanian men and women and I know how they think and act.

philano79 wrote:

Expat.com team,

May i suggest blocking any further discussion on this topic. I have been receiving an endless number of threads on the topic over the past two years and everybody is speaking about the negative image of Jordanian men. Topic is now too much exausted by now. Jordanian men are just like any other men in the world.
Belal

This is a perfect example of why many western women married to Jordanian men advise against doing so. As soon as the discussion turns in a way you don't like, you want to end all discussions.

If people are getting a negative image of Jordanian men, then I would say, with regards to relationships with Western women at least, that it is an image that is well deserved. We are the outcomes of two toally different cultures, so different that I don't think in most cases they mesh very well. For example, in the West men act like the head of their families. They certainly don't go running to mummy with every little thing, much less let their mother run their life and ruin the life of their wife in the process.  In the west men share the household chores. They don't expect their wife to stay at home all the time working like an unpaid skivvie (slave) slaving not just after her children, but every male member of the extended household. Much less to survive on no money at all while they smoke away what little money they have, ruining their lungs and those of their children in the process.

vwbug wrote:

And by the way, culture and tradition was not the subject.  Marrying an Arab/Jordanian was the subject. 
If a foreign woman is marrying a poor Jordanian she will have a difficult time.  It's way too different and too difficult. In most traditional/low income families we foreigners are never really accepted simply because low income families have no experience with foreigners. They have not traveled, have not experienced the world.  Plus there isn't enough money to travel back "home" often and it usually just doesn't work.
It's always, don't say this, don't wear that, don't go there...... etc. in many ways the family just gets in the way especially if you are unfortunate enough to have yo live everyone in the same building.  Then you have the whole damn family in your face telling you what to do.

Sounds about right!

I'm sorry to have offended you but since 95 % of religion in Jordan is Sunni Islam and 99% of religion in Afghanistan is Sunni Islam do you think that the religion just might have some bearing on the issue at hand? No? Well excuse me but I think it does.

Just 'unsubscribe' if you don't want to subscribe to the topic. I enjoy reading it, I always 'light up' when I see a new post! So much of this stuff cracks me up! I have been following it since close to the beginning, and what I have noticed..........any woman asking for advice, that has already fell 'head over heels', ain't gonna' listen anyway! Then there is always somebody going off about their bad experience. You have to keep it all in perspective. If you are not an offender, don't be offended! If you didn't do it..........not guilty! (oh, then there is always the 'opportunist' that sees his chance to move in on the most recently scorned. Soap Operas aren't this good!)

I agree with you SherriO,

This topic is for a long time alive and it can go on for a long time.
It is one of the most interesting topics of this forum and as long women need advice then this is the place where she can go to.

It is not about THE Jordanian or THE Arabic man but about the one who she felt in love with and have to deal with difficulties or doubts about her relationship.

Frankly I think its quite pathetic that a woman would ask for advice about should she marry any man.  It clearly shows immaturity and lack of something needed to make a relationship work.  If I was the Jordanian I'd be pissed and give her the heave ho. Salam

Hi,  Where are you from?  I know you said your from Georgia is this in the USA or Russia.  It really helps to know your background before I reply.  thanks Lawrence

If you have to ask, you already know.

SherriO wrote:

If you have to ask, you already know.

👏👏👍

lawrence2 wrote:

Hi,  Where are you from?  I know you said your from Georgia is this in the USA or Russia.  It really helps to know your background before I reply.  thanks Lawrence

It doesn't matter where she come from. If you read her post well then you didn't have to asked this question.
Beside that, your contribution on this topic is not very helpful.

sonnenstrahl wrote:

Hi,
I met a man from Jordan who seems to be a good person, but i am not sure, I would like to hear from you more about marriage to Jordanian man, I live in Georgia and I don't want to regret it, he asked me to go with him to jordan and than to other country,
can you pm me please? I have some questions about such mixed marriage and i have noone to ask to.. 

Welcome on board to this site.

Did you read the whole topic? Then you have a lot of information which contains bad and good things about this subject.
If you cant find the answers you need then you can ask them on this topic.

Please keep in mind that we don't know you or your bf so personal advice is hard to give, special in love/heart affairs.

Look at it this way.  Just realize whether you put a deal in the marriage contract or not about marrying another you will not live that way.  It's not something you want to stop, if it's in his heart you don't want him anyway.
To me, taking a second wife would be a total deal breaker.  Just be determined that you will never stand for it.  Either way, if he does it then it's over.  Just know that if you have children life will be more difficult in leaving.
Marry someone from your own country, you will avoid a lot of conflict and heartache.

It will be hard, marriage IS hard, just depends how easy you want it.  Russian women have a difficult time in Jordan, there are so many hooker here even when you're not you get classified that way.

Marry him, give it a try but DO NOT have kids right away.  It's easy to leave a marriage without kids.  Take it slow and easy......

In a marriage contract you can secure everything what's important for you: work, not marring another wife while he is still married to you, brides gold/money,  alimentary et cetera.

You have to sort out of the Islamic marriage is legally accepted in Georgia.
You can legalised it at the court in Jordan and get a marriage certificate.

Man do some posts verge on being racist in here.

@ Georgia girl. Would you please not take the advice of women you have never met on such matter?

The guy could be Italian, Chinese or even from freaking Madagascar for all I care. You know him better than anyone on this forum. Anyone you ask will give you their opinion based on their own experience which, by the way, has little to do with yours. The idea of two men being the same just because they're compatriots is, dare I say, absurd!

Trust your instincts, you're a woman for God sake! What does your heart tell you? If you have doubts then I urge you to ask a close family member or friend for counsel, but ask no strangers for advice on the matters of the heart.

Marriage is about settling down, or at least having a plan to do so in the (very) near future. Consider this.

Men give promises all the time, few keep them.

RoyalDuke wrote:

Man do some posts verge on being racist in here.

@ Georgia girl. Would you please not take the advice of women you have never met on such matter?

The guy could be Italian, Chinese or even from freaking Madagascar for all I care. You know him better than anyone on this forum. Anyone you ask will give you their opinion based on their own experience which, by the way, has little to do with yours. The idea of two men being the same just because they're compatriots is, dare I say, absurd!

Trust your instincts, you're a woman for God sake! What does your heart tell you? If you have doubts then I urge you to ask a close family member or friend for counsel, but ask no strangers for advice on the matters of the heart.

Marriage is about settling down, or at least having a plan to do so in the (very) near future. Consider this.

Men give promises all the time, few keep them.

I agree, especially with the bolded

Primadonna wrote:

In a marriage contract you can secure everything what's important for you: work, not marring another wife while he is still married to you, brides gold/money,  alimentary et cetera.

You have to sort out of the Islamic marriage is legally accepted in Georgia.
You can legalised it at the court in Jordan and get a marriage certificate.

. no darling if is write in quran that he can have 4 wifes he can dosn't matter what , she just can ask in contract ,if he want married second wife he will divorce her ! thats all. with this trust after see him a few days i be very carefull cuz she dont know him !!! OMG ! you can be few years with a man and don't know him well ! Belive me some man show his real face when is something go wrong

all the best for you becouse you need really good luck if you decided marry man who you meet personally just a week ! take cold shover !!! seat and think well again !

You're information is wrong: yes, it's stated in the Koran to have four wifes but only for some reasons, not if the man thinks he has the right too. A huge difference! And he must ask permission to his first wife to marry a second. The man behave irresponsible if he starts a family and then divorce her to marry another one because he want two wifes.  It doesn't make any sense because he still have one wife and he must support the other woman and the children.

And yes, you can claim he can't marry other women.  If he doesn't agree then no marriage for you. But I will repeat again: only in some circumstances he can marry a second,  a third or even a fourth wife after the permission from the first wife.

Your visit here would be very safe.  It's the marriage that concerns everyone.  It's not Jordan, it's him and his family, his culture, his finances and how he will treat you.
My honest advice would be to come to Jordan, stay long enough of see how you feel about EVERYTHING.  If you still want to marry him go ahead but DO NOT have children for a few years that way if he, his family or the country is intolerable then leave. 
Protect yourself......  I say it again, DO NOT have children.  Proceed very carefully because this is your life!

Despite death and despair surrounding Jordan, it is still safe here. But it's a culture clash you're getting yourself into, I got no clue if you'll ever adapt. Certainly, a few do.

Islam is open to interpretation. There are extremist, moderates and those who fall in between. Religion, in general, constitutes only one part of a man's identity. A combination of upbringing, culture and experiences makes a man who he is. Will he honor you? Will he let his family meddle in your life? Will he divorce you if you become disabled? I got no clue. Those are questions only you can answer because, apparently, you know him very well.

Sure you can stipulate that he shall never marry another, but will it stop him from having a girlfriend someday? I don't know, I don't know him. But you do--It seems.

If you feel it's "Risky" to come here, then never come. You have a say in the matter. Men in love make grand gestures, you both can settle down wherever you feel safe and comfortable. That's fair enough.

It is impossible to forecast a marriage, but a great one is only great because a woman and a man care enough to make it work, come what may.

Primadonna wrote:

You're information is wrong: yes, it's stated in the Koran to have four wifes but only for some reasons, not if the man thinks he has the right too. A huge difference! And he must ask permission to his first wife to marry a second. The man behave irresponsible if he starts a family and then divorce her to marry another one because he want two wifes.  It doesn't make any sense because he still have one wife and he must support the other woman and the children.

And yes, you can claim he can't marry other women.  If he doesn't agree then no marriage for you. But I will repeat again: only in some circumstances he can marry a second,  a third or even a fourth wife after the permission from the first wife.

Yes , you right but u just say as should be ! i know a man who has a 4 wifes just becouse he got money ! nothing cant stop him if he want divorce , what i want say is that ,he got rights to marry next one if he want and nothing cant stop him . Reality in life is diferent as is in bible or quran   . Look at me ! i am the best egzample ! did my husband ask me to married another one??? I am lucky im not living in jordan, but still have problems to get divorce in australia cuz he dont want sign papers and participate in .

And yes i said you cant write in contract condition that he cant marry another women

Hello Everyone. I want to marry a Syrian man who is currently living in Amman Jordan. I was wondering if I married him in Jordan would I become a citizen of Jordan?

Welcome on board,

No, you wont be a Jordanian citizen if you marry a Syrian man in Jordan.
He is a Syrian, not an Jordanian.

If he have the Jordanian nationality then we have another story. In that case you have to been married for at least five years to apply for the Jordanian nationality. For more information you can check out the sticky topic " Great links for newbies" on the main forum.

The only way to become a citizen of Jordan is to be born to a Jordanian father or marry a Jordanian man.  For the second one you must apply.  That's it....

Thank you for your answers, I really appreciate it.

Hi, May I ask you because im considering the divorce. Im been married with a jordan for about 4 years and a half but he abandoned me in february this year ...Do you know If I go to Jordan I will be safe...regarding if Dawoud as my legal husband can prohibited me to leave the country?
Any input will be great!
Thanks

peacelovelight wrote:

Marhaba,
It's quite a coincidence that I find your question in my inbox today. For the past week, I have wanted to write about the subject you are asking about, but have not as I did not want to complain about my life. However, concidering I have not visited expat.com for many months, and today open it to find your question at the top of the list, I will give you my opinion.
As I think where to begin, I guess it would be by asking about you, as you are the only person, I feel that will make or break the situation. Let me explain by asking you some very important questions, and then I will explain why they are so relivant. It is important to be VERY honest when answering them.
How independent are you? Are you a free-thinker or do you usually go along with everyone else? Are you a strong-minded woman? Do you value equality and freedom for all?  Are you submissive and subservient? Are you a working woman or more of a housewife? Do you want children? If yes, how do you plan on raising your children? Think about both the male and the female. Are they equal? Do you love animals? Do you like fighting or peace?
You might be wondering why I did not ask any questions about the man you want to marry. This is because, in my opinion, it really does not matter how he is in America because once he is in Jordan, he will change. Not because he wants to, not because he agrees to the way he will change, but because he is a Muslim man and will be STRONGLY influenced by tradition, his family and his village. I don't care how free, independent and cool he is now, there is a 95% chance that will be thrown out the door due to peer pressure by other males.
Let me give you a brief rundown of where I am basing my opinion on. I met my husband in another foreign country. We were young, free and fell in love. Despite the objections of EVERY one of my friends, I chose to marry him, even after moving to Jordan for a year and living in his village why we waited for his visa to America. My husband considered himself not a true Jordanian. He said he had always felt as if he didn't belong in Jordan. He was a rebel growing up. By this I mean he didn't conform. He had long hair, wore shorts and rode a motorcycle (all of these things were very bad, when he grew up). He was quite independent and did not really buy into the rules. I would say that this is what made me think that the man I was marrying was different, but not so.
Although he may have been different that most, he was still raised with the values that men are stronger and can do whatever they want, and women are weaker and do not have the same rights as men. I would have never realized this in the beginning. But after we were married and lived in California, situations began to pop up.
For example; despite the fact that I was raised with a swimming pool in my backyard and lived in San Diego one block from the ocean for 10 years, he would not allow me to wear a bathing suit. So, basically unless I wanted a MAJOR fight, I had to give up swimming, of which I did. I made all kinds of exceptions in my mind thinking, "oh well, it's ok, now I don't need to get a tan which will lead to wrinkles when I am older, because Jordanian men love white skinned women." But, I must say, I miss swimming, surfing and scuba diving. A Muslim man will not stand for his wife to be seen by ANY other men in a bathing suit. To them, it is as bad as you walking naked down the street looking for sex. That's how they see it. I have not met ONE who allows their wife to wear a bathing suit. It is not because of the husband, but because of what all the other men say and think. This is putting your man in a bad place as he will defend your honor getting into verbal and physical assaults, depending on the situation. So, basically it is just asking for trouble.
Once you are married, kiss off having ANY male friends, or being able to freely talk with a male stranger, as again, they see this as soliciting yourself for sex. In Jordan, they actually believe this. If you look at or talk to a man other than one of his family members, the man and everyone else will assume that you are looking for some "action." It is CRAZY!!! But, it is true. So if you are  a friendly, outgoing person who is used to smiling and chatting with people as you interact with them, be prepared to give it all up. It is VERY difficult, and VERY lonely. But if you do not, you will have BIG problems…like being riducled and yelled at in the street by your husband.  It's not that he wants to do this, but HE MUST. Why? Because all the other men will be looking at him, giving him the eye that he is not in CONTROL of his woman. Other men will assume that by you speaking to them you WANT them. This will drive your husband crazy which will again, either lead to a fight with the man and/or a fight with you, most likely both.
I just had an incident last week when I was perfume shopping. We were in Amman, in a tourist area and I had smelled about 20 perfumes. The perfume guy handed me another scent to smell, and I went to smell it, and laughed (with a smile and a laugh) and said to him, "I am sorry, I cannot smell anymore, my nose is no longer working," My husband was furious!! Why? Because I laughed a smiled at the guy, of which is considered flirting…I know, absolutely ridiculous!! We had been there for almost a half-an-hour interacting, but as soon as I showed emotion, that was IT!!! Oh, and did I mention, I have been married for 14 YEARS!!! And 12 of them were living in California!!! And this is what I get….still???
So, if you are an emotionless person who never smiles or talks, this place will be right up your alley. But if you are friendly, personable and charming, you will be in BIG TROUBLE and I am sure VERY LONELY…as am I. I feel as if have lost myself. I have one friend who lives 5 hours away of which I met on this website, but I have only personally met her once. So, basically I have no friends of which is VERY hard for me as I am a people person and made friends wherever I went. And her story, is remarkably the same, despite the fact that we were raised on opposite sides of the US, she is Muslim and we are very different, yet both very strong-minded and independent.
If you live in his village, it could be VERY challenging, unless you like being alone without him, as he will be taken away from you most of the day and the night for a variety of reasons. Family problems…there is ALWAYS a problem, because the families are so huge, so someone is always needed assistance or advice. A wedding (they last three days and he will be there all three days (with the men, and you with the women). Funerals, someone dies at least 1 time a week and as much as 3 times a week. Funerals are for three days also, and are also segregated. Visits…for the first 3 to 6 months (no exaggeration) he will have visitors that will come by to say congratulations to him and the women to you. Visits are without notice and last anywhere from 2-4 hours person/group, which are also, segregated. You will NEVER meet his friends, and they come BEFORE you ALWAYS, for it is rude to dismiss them…he can never say, "Well, thanks for stopping by, but it's dinnertime and I need to get back to my wife." That will NEVER happen, as Jordanians are known for their hospitality and guests can stay as long as they like. YOU will be in charge of making them tea, coffee, soda (all three for every visit) and fruit, cookies, food, etc.  I hope he has money, because I still have not figured out how any man can have a job in the village with all this visiting and praying (don't forget 5 times a day). You will hardly see your husband which can be very lonely, especially for a foreigner and doubly if you do not speak Arabic.
Also, decision making will most likely not be mutual anymore. What the man says goes and if you do not agree, too bad. If he considers your opinion, or objections to something, for example, giving the family money (of which they always ask for, especially if you have been living in America, as they believe money grows on trees there (really!!) or if you ask him to stay home with you one night rather than attend another wedding…the "guys" will accuse him of being weak and ruled by his woman…which is VERY BAD! So suddenly, you will axed out of the decisions because most likely you will be opposed to them, so he will start to make them without talking to you, which will create separation and inequality…amongst many other strong feelings, of which you must suppress…tears don't work, they are just another reason to get mad. It is his conscience at work, I feel. I think they know that they are hurting you, but can't give into peer pressure and the male ego, so they will just get mad. If you fight, they will yell louder, because they are STRONGER…so you lose every time. And everyone will be listening and so he must have the last say!
If you feel the picture I am painting is just terrible, I am so sorry. I am an optimist, a romantic and I always think that positive thinking will help any situation, however, after 14 years of marriage and living in Jordan now for two years, I am BROKEN. I cry every day. I live in Aqaba, 5 hours away from his family, just to have freedom. What freedom? I have been in Aqaba now 8 months, I have never been "out" like on a date…I have been to the beach TWICE. It hasn't changed a bit. I cannot leave the house by myself…many times my soul has just wanted to run away, and go sit at the beach and cry, but I cannot, because if a woman is alone, yep, you guessed it, she is looking for sex.
Ok, and remember, if you are in the village you must be covered,  standard is pants, skirt, long sleeves and headdress…no neckline exposed, so no "v-necks"…even in the summer when it is over 100 degrees…oh, and most likely no A/C, if there is, then the men will be in it. Women are usually in the smallest, hottest room, with windows closed so that no "men" can see them. This is also the case for me here, even though tourists walk around in shorts and tank tops…it's because I am married to a Jordanian, so I am expected to conform or else it is assumed my husband does not have control of me.
The women cook, clean and serve while the men sit around being served, smoking and visiting day and night. Only men go "out" to the mosque, women stay at home to pray.
If you have a daughter, she will have freedom until she is about 9 or 10, then she will be in the home, and always covered, even from cousins, as they could end up married one day.
Hopefully you don't enjoy dancing, because you are not allowed. Only prostitutes dance. This is yet another, very difficult thing for me to accept as I loved dancing and going to concerts…women are not really allowed at concerts…that is for the "man", along with movies, coffee shops, (although in the cities women are going into coffee shops more now., but there are many they are not allowed to go to.) And NEVER in the village. Even dancing amongst the women at weddings is not allowed UNLESS the man whom is getting married is a close relative, basically the brother of the groom, because it is not allowed for the groom who is not in your family to see you dance (he is present in the final day of the celebration). You can dance if it's only women, but it's usually very hot and just not the same as in America.
So, those are a bunch of negatives…why did I begin with those? Because they ARE SO IMPORTANT to your spirit. Those are those things you will most likely have to GIVE UP. And I have found it very hard…like I mentioned earlier, to the point where I have cried every day this week…I think it's just hitting me as I haven't been out of the house for so long, my spirit is down.
Women do not shop for food. One way to look at it in a positive way is you aren't bothered with it, however, after a while, it can be a bummer. Sometimes it is good to get out of the house and choose what you want, not having to rely upon who is handed down your shopping list, as it is a hierarchy thing here. You will ask your husband, who will ask a brother younger than him, and he will ask one younger than him, until the list falls into the hands of the poor ten year old who has been deemed the shopping guy. Hopefully he knows how to choose ripe vegetables…sometimes, this little guy will be shopping for hours on foot as they don't (in the villages) have a supermarket, but many little markets. So, he will be running around everywhere, and when he returns someone will send him again. It is actually a theory of mine through careful observation of my family as to why girls get better grades than boys…because the boys are always shopping!! I have actually seen a mother wake up a 13 year old child who had just gotten back from shopping at 10 pm, to go out again on a school night!! It is sad…as most of the girls in my family make it into University, only to graduate, get married and have a baby, usually nine months to the day (sex talk is not the norm, and in my opinion should be!!)…while the guys who now must provide for their family don't have a degree, which means they have few choices, military, police or labor, oh…or like working in a bank, etc, never to be the manager, because they don't have a diploma and are paid just enough to feed their family and get to work…this area needs to be seriously addressed!!
Now, I am sure I will have people responding to this and they will tell you in Amman it is different. I do not live in Amman, so I cannot comment on this. I have spoken to a friend of my husband's about many of these things. He was raised in the US a bit, and so speaks English, and I have had the privilege of having him over for dinner. HOWEVER, he has been married twice, once to a Jordanian, and it ended in divorce, second to a Ukranian woman, who I have met, and she cried to me all night about how she could not cope with the fact that her husband had a mistress and had hidden her passport so she couldn't go back home…I have also actually met his mistress (of which she think she is divorced, but it is not true)…she is also from Ukraine…the guy just flies them back and forth from Ukraine and believe it or not cheats on BOTH of them.
I am not sure what decision I would have made if I had been given this inside scoop of my future with a Jordanian man. I was madly in love and was wearing rose-colored glasses. Most likely, I would have married him anyway thinking I could change him, that our love was strong enough to endure this, and that it could never happen to me. But, it is not about that. You are up against his upbringing, STRONG tradition and the entire belief system of the people of Jordan. It s normal for the women, they do not question any of this (most)…actually I have not met any, but I don't speak Arabic well enough t actually get personal with anyone to get the inside scoop. I do have some nieces who speak English, none are married, but they have invited me somewhere, and said, "after you ask my uncle"…I would reply, "well, I am telling you, I'd love to come." And they said, again., "we will wait til after you ask my uncle (my husband who was out of the country at that time." I replied, "I do not need his permission, he supports me, I make my own decisions." And STILL, they said, "we will wait until you ask." So….it is the norm! My sister-in-law who is 47 years old had to get written permission to travel with a group of women on a field trip with her sisters to the Dead Sea because she is not married and will never be. Her fate is that she must stay t home and take cre of her parents as they grow old…so, she will never have children (so heart-breaking!!)!!
So, there you go, this is my inside look into the life in Jordan. Whatever you decide to do, I would strongly advise getting married in the US. Just in case….I got married here, and under Islamic law, the man gets everything…(google it)…which means if I were to throw in the towel I stand to lose it all….after enduring sadness for 14 years, sending over 100k to his family, I lose our kids (a good chance) or they will remain in Jordan as you need permission from the husband to leave the country…and our house and land. Everything goes to him!
So maybe you are asking, why am I here???? There are other WONDRERFUL things…his family is beautiful…as people, they are soooo nice and have embraced me. I love them VERY much, as much as my own…the closeness of the family, the unity, the organic food…they are very healthy and fruit, vegetables, meat, bread, milk, yogurt, etc are fresh…that day!! No preservatives, no MONSANTO. They are simple, not very materialistic…although I have been told they are somewhat, as you are up on the pedestal if you have wealth…but I feel they are humble. I love the women…and all of the men in my family seem very nice (remember, I play by the rules).
Jordanian people are very friendly and welcoming…coffee is served while shopping for furniture, opening a bank account; Americans are HIGHLY respected (don't buy into the lies  the US media portrays about Middle Eastern people, it s simply not true….many of them don't even watch the news and have no idea what is going on daily in Israel, Palestine, Iraq or Afganistan…however, the Palestinian/Jewish issue is definitely strong, it's been going on forever, so they really don't pay attention to any of that). They really love us (Americans)….being a tourist is great….it's just being the wife of a Jordanian, that things get a bit sticky. You will have plenty of time for soul searching…you can lose your identity hopefully to appreciate what you had and to reclaim who you are. You can have a positive influence as many are eager to talk to you…but, you must be ok with trash…another thing I have a very hard time with…EVERYONE throws trash, everywhere. As I mentioned, I live in Aqaba, what I would say is the cleanest city in Jordan, however, the beaches are littered with millions of cigarette butts and trash…broken glass in the water, boards with nails…all while the people sit on the beach enjoying the view as their little ones frolic through the debris. They picnic a lot, but leave EVERYTHING behind, even if there is a trash can 2 feet in front of them.
The majority of Jordanians believe cats and dogs are dirty and dangerous and are seriously neglected…they are left to fend for themselves feeding out of dumpsters, covered in ringworm and dodging rocks. I have seen dozens of times children and teenagers throwing rocks at them. It is heartbreaking for me. However, I feel I can make difference and am doing what I can to raise awareness…although every organization I have written to offering my FREE help has been ignored. I have offered to assist in animal awareness programs, environmental and even to help spruce up schools by installing playgrounds and painting murals…so far I haven't even gotten a reply. So, it's rough. I have started my own company and will seek to raise awareness on my own
Keep in mind….there are always exceptions, but this is the general view from my point of view. I think that time will change things…the internet is helping A LOT!!! And soon the youth of this world will grow up, and the traditional will die…only then will change happen, but there is hope. So ask yourself, "What do I want? What I am I willing to give up?" It really only comes down to you. If you are simple minded, flexible and submissive, YOU WILL LOVE IT!! There are many things to love…oh…you will never get a ticket from the police, they hardly ever stop women, and when they do and you hand them your American driver's license they say, "Welcome to Jordan," and wave you off!! I love that!
And after all that I have said, and have endured, my husband still loves me, and I him. We have been threw the ringer 100,000 times. It has NOT been easy, that's for sure!! But, how many marriages are. My husband wants to move back to the US….I am giving Jordan more time. I feel there is a reason I am here. Maybe it is to spread awareness about some of the issues I mentioned, maybe it is to lose myself and find myself again. It is definitely an experience. I have plenty to write bout, that's for sure. I know that I do have a positive influence on my nieces…which is very nice for me. They are the future of Jordan, they are the ones who will fight for equality, so if I am making a positive impact on them, I am sooo happy. However, bottom line, I am giving it one more year and if nothing changes I will give away everything I own to those who are in need and return to the States empty-handed, but FREE-----FREE AT LAST!!!"
Good luck with whatever you decide....

I almost crying reading Ur post, all that U said is definitely true. theres lived tears, love, sacrifice and respect.

Primadonna wrote:

I agree with you SherriO,

This topic is for a long time alive and it can go on for a long time.
It is one of the most interesting topics of this forum and as long women need advice then this is the place where she can go to.

It is not about THE Jordanian or THE Arabic man but about the one who she felt in love with and have to deal with difficulties or doubts about her relationship.

I'm agree with U

Ingrid1973 wrote:

Hi, May I ask you because im considering the divorce. Im been married with a jordan for about 4 years and a half but he abandoned me in february this year ...Do you know If I go to Jordan I will be safe...regarding if Dawoud as my legal husband can prohibited me to leave the country?
Any input will be great!
Thanks

If you have children with him, he can!
If not, he cant.
But I wonder why you want to go to the Jordan if your husband abandoned you. To make your divorce legal in Jordan?
I advise you to seek information at the closest Jordanian Embassy or check out the sticky topic " Great links for newbies" on the main forum. There are links included from the government which you can contact.

All the best and take care!

yes ,thats all is true. every girl who is thinking to marry jordanian man should reed this

Arabian countries have traditions like all other countries in the world and it is strange arguing cos you would not find it right either if someone complains about the traditions of your own country..
Basically I handle relationships this way that I am honest from the beginning telling how I want the other to be. I would say women like to marry for certain reasons, afterwards they start to realize they should have cared more about the soul cos it's difficult to change... It might be true that sometimes people have to act traditional, but with understanding and the right way of  comforting it should be of no problem for the woman to adjust in case she loves her man.. if you think freedom is being taken from you by traditions, you will probably never adjust and have a hard time... True that men not always say the truth and it's sad that someone has to lie in order to get a relationship, then again women think more with the head than the heart, think they can change any person at any time anyway they want, find out its not that easy, should have cared about humanity from the beginning, then start complaining....
Not to talk or look at other men should be for a woman who respects her man no problem at all!
This means even if the partner finds it odd, he will adjust in order to please the other in the name of love..
Another thing to mention is a relationship is not a country, and even traditions do not rule the country, otherwise all people would wear and behave the same, but they don't. There is plenty of space for freedom, depending on what kind of freedom one is looking for!

Hello my name is Monica I live in new York ,born and raised in the united states. My family background is Spanish and have catholic belief.  I am met a Jordanian on line for about 2months now and fell in love with him.  We chat on line and video chat as well.  His English is not very good but we communicate as much as we can.  He asked me to marry him,,I accepted. I am trying to find out as much as I can about him.  I'm hearing many things about Arab men,,good and bad. Some of the things I have found out its making me doubt should I get into the marriage.  My heart is telling me to do it and feels just right but when I hear stories from people who have had experiences with Arab men and how controlling and abusive,,or jealous they can be makes me wonder. I want to be able to make right decision. He is much younger than I am and does not have children this can play a major role in the marriage not working. He wants me to go to Jordan to marry him and than he wants to come to the U.S. to live.  He does not want to return to Jordan.  I am very confused and am in dire need of information.  I would like to know what necessary steps I need to take to make this marriage become a reality if possible and is it safe for me to go to Jordan to marry him.  Any information will be greatly appreciated.     Thank you!

Take it easy my dear...If you love the guy and he loves you and you both of you trust each others simply go ahead and marry him. You both will adapt to each others cultures.... If don't then do not marry him....In any way do not hope for a life without problems it's just a natural part of our life regardless who you will marry... and as wise man once said.... 10% what life it is and 90% how we look at it and deal with it....finally it's your choice...

God bless you,
Samer

monicapadin wrote:

Hello my name is Monica I live in new York ,born and raised in the united states. My family background is Spanish and have catholic belief.  I am met a Jordanian on line for about 2months now and fell in love with him.  We chat on line and video chat as well.  His English is not very good but we communicate as much as we can.  He asked me to marry him,,I accepted. I am trying to find out as much as I can about him.  I'm hearing many things about Arab men,,good and bad. Some of the things I have found out its making me doubt should I get into the marriage.  My heart is telling me to do it and feels just right but when I hear stories from people who have had experiences with Arab men and how controlling and abusive,,or jealous they can be makes me wonder. I want to be able to make right decision. He is much younger than I am and does not have children this can play a major role in the marriage not working. He wants me to go to Jordan to marry him and than he wants to come to the U.S. to live.  He does not want to return to Jordan.  I am very confused and am in dire need of information.  I would like to know what necessary steps I need to take to make this marriage become a reality if possible and is it safe for me to go to Jordan to marry him.  Any information will be greatly appreciated.     Thank you!

I hate to sound mean, but it honestly sounds like he might just be using you get into the US

I appreciate your response,,i will take that in consideration!  That is helpful to me. Thank you!

samer800 wrote:

Take it easy my dear...If you love the guy and he loves you and you both of you trust each others simply go ahead and marry him. You both will adapt to each others cultures.... If don't then do not marry him....In any way do not hope for a life without problems it's just a natural part of our life regardless who you will marry... and as wise man once said.... 10% what life it is and 90% how we look at it and deal with it....finally it's your choice...

God bless you,
Samer

With due respect, I find your response both patronizing and simplistic.