How to make friends in Copenhagen

So how do you???

Nobody seems to know...

log onto couchsurfing.com and meet people for coffe it is such a friendly site, where people help each other and will meet you can verify them by checking their references on their profile page.

Maggie

Unfortunately making Danish friends are rather impossible task for foreigners. However, it's very easy to make friends with other foreigners who are in the same situation like we are.

Try to go to Danish class, some reading club or whatever hobby you've got

The Copenhagen expat network might help too

right you are Julien.

I've made my friends thru my blog actually. We have this expat-blogging community where we read each other's blogs and leave comments etc. It's a great way to make friends and to know that there are people out there who (might) have the same feeling / be in the same situation are you are

It is indeed tough to make friends with actual Danish people, unless you belong to a hobby group or a sports club, affinity group, etc. etc. You increase your chances if it's a very small number of people who are members of the club, or if it's a rare pastime here.

anyone living in Lolland??

I have found that doing volunteer work is a great way to meet the Danes in a natural and cooperative situation. Pick something that interests you and volunteer to help out. For me it is the upcoming Copenhagen World OutGames, where as a GLBT person, I feel affinity. I am working on the GLBT human rights conference, which is part of the event (in addition to a sports element and a culture element). World OutGames is in real need of volunteers, so perhaps this is for you:

www.copenhagen2009.org

As I have said on other parts of this site, my experience is that Danish people are some of the easiest people in the world to get close to because they are so interested in what is happening in the rest of the world. Where else could "The Daily Show" from the US, which is sophisticated humor directed to viewers who know the details of US politics, get good ratings as it does here? Perhaps the UK, but certainly not FR, IT or ES. Give the Danes a chance -- they are some of the warmest and smartest people I have encountered in my 25 years of working globally.

12-13 years ago, I came here a single middle-aged guy with limited danish skills and job.  The job proved useless as a way to meet people.  I don't drink, and don't go to bars, but i do like to dance.  So, I went to disco clubs and danced and sat down with people. They asked me questions and i answered and I asked them questions.  I got in with a roller bladeing crowd, and it just sort of progressed from there.

My experience was that you have to approach danes.  They are not going to come to you.  Talk with them.  Ask questions.  Listen to the answers.  Don't talk about your job or this or that "project".  Talk about your family, growing up, things you like to do.  In my early days i found danes to be very curious about me, why i was here, what i thought about this or that.  I just had to be the "opener".

I hope this helps.

mac

Danes can be rather reclusive and closed people. It's hard to move here from somewhere else. Gotta do the work yourself and it'll pay off eventually. Actively go looking for people with the same interests as yourself. You may have to start the conversation but somebody cool will come along:-)

YES I AGREE WITH YOU , VERY HARD TO MEET OR MAKE FRIENDS HERE
AS THE DANISH PEOPLE NOT ACTIVE , THEY PREFER TO SPENT THIER TIMES INSIDE HOUSE ,
I LOVE READ YOUR COMMENTS ALWYES , YOU VERY WELL HAVE MUCH INF ABOUT DENMARK SOC

THANK U FOR ALL THE INFO

TO MAKE FRIENDS HERE , ONE WAY , HAVE BIB TV , GOOD PC , AND FORGET ABOUT FRIENDSHIP HERE

DANISH PPL CAN NOT BE FRIENDS

Come on guys! Join an organization. Visit a pub. Go to church. There are just so many ways to meet people here, and as I said in an earlier post, ANY country is difficult to get into when you are new there, especially if the language is different from your own. My experiences in other countries and my 10 years here tells me that the Danes are the friendliest people in the world.

ok give me names of the organisation

Well, you could start with Meet-Up for Copenhagen, assuming that is where you are moving:

meetup.com/cities/dk/copenhagen/groups/?radius=50.0

When I moved to Miami, that's how I started to meet people, through a book club.

thank you , billincph

So far, i have live in 5 differents country in the last years and i must say im immensely disappointed by how danish while being kinds are too much focusing on thenself... Come on danish people, we haven t the plague, we are not biting, start consider us as human and be more curious and open!


vincent*

I think learn some Danish would be help, they are glad to hear foreigner speak Danish, Danish is hard to pronounce, when they make fun of you ,you can be friends, ha

We've noticed that the key to making friends in Denmark with self professed Danes is to make all or most of the effort.  I say that without any bitterness as that is simply the way to do it.

This is where all the group activities come in, and why so many join clubs or make sure they never miss a neighborhood get together,  it is a way of being close to others.

Isn't it showing how the Danes really are as Huang puts it above that they make fun of you when you try to speak their language?

I lived in Paris last year, and in short time I found myself surrounded by new friends (all foreign), sadly I only got a few French friends, and that's so typical when you're living abroad. After Paris I moved to Copenhagen (far away from where I lived in Denmark before Paris), and I feel like a foreigner again. Danes are nearly impossible to befriend, even for Danes. I'm openminded, funny, happy, and social. So, despite my nationality, are there any foreign people living in Copenhagen that needs a friend? (: x

I aggree::: Danes r difficult to befriend, and the weather SUCKS guys:)

fuzzy wrote:

It is indeed tough to make friends with actual Danish people, unless you belong to a hobby group or a sports club, affinity group, etc. etc. You increase your chances if it's a very small number of people who are members of the club, or if it's a rare pastime here.

Surely this is how you make friends in any new city? How else are people expecting to make friends; I currently live in London - non Londoners don't expect to make friends by letting Londoners approach them and besides, if a Londoner approached them it would be deemed as odd behaviour! My non Londoner friends I met through hobby groups or through work

I know it's an old one but this thread has puzzled me slightly. I don't live in Copenhagen but have been many many times and I find the Danes some of the most welcoming people and extremely friendly. I was the only non-Dane at a new year party last year with about 50 Danes (I knew just three people there) and everyone was brilliant and extremely hospitable. All I'll say is that if you go into these things thinking you'll never make friends then you won't because you'll give off negative vibes.

Whether it's Copenhagen, London, Paris etc ... as the newcomers (I'm speaking as one as want to move to CPH) we're the ones who will have to make the effort. People have established lives and aren't our babysitters.

dicania, you will find Danes are very kind to tourists or visitors. It's the people left behind who aren't treated quite as considerately or kindly. You really need to move here to experience the difference.

Of course I can't experience actually living there but my point if from a city dweller's point of view; if I see someone in London on their own in a bar/coffee shop/etc I wouldn't go up to them as I'd assume they're waiting for their friend or are there simply to enjoy their own company (as I do sometimes). In order to make friends in any city in any country (smaller towns may be different, I don't know), you'll surely need to do things like join clubs and take up hobbies - I apologise if I read your post incorrectly, but you seemed surprised by that. I've managed to make my own friends in Denmark and that wasn't by sitting around and waiting for people to come up to me. Or maybe I got lucky, who knows.

Just fell over this topic and it seemed very intresting to hear how people from outside has to say about making friends in DK.

The intresting thing is that I moved to Copenhagen from another small town in DK, because I wanted to make new friends and start all over. I'm a student and live at a "collegium".

However on study place it seemed that a lot of people knew each other from the beginning, and thus it was very hard to get into the group. The group would seclude themself so that it is closed.

And at my collegium even though we have a "common kitchen", what people do is making their food in the kitchen, but then go to their own small rooms to eat, even though there are other people in the room. The other people don't even talk to you or each other... not even a hello when you enter. Of course I do that, and I speak but mostly the answers will be very short, and you get few closed questions back, but the guy you are talking to will still eat at his own small room for himself in stead of joining you.

When I wrote on the big blackboard in our kitchen: Come on people let's go make something together. Let's have a party the third next Sunday. People would ignore it, and when I asked people directly, they would always have something else with some friends from their youth or another excuse, and then maybe 1 will show up, and that party is gone.

Back in my youth town, it was so easy to make friends, but in CPH it pretty much is impossible.

However I don't feel that way, when some foreigners come. Americans are very easy to make friends with and I really like that. One of the reasons why I want to move away from this country.

It hasn't always been that way though. In the 1960's the Danes were the most liberal and opened people, but the liberal mentality is gone and is replaced by closiness but though superficial friendliness.

Maybe people think that because they pay so much in tax, it's OK not to be social at all.

You also wont see girls at the beach sunbathing topless (unlike the rest of Europe), and the girls at the clubs are very hard to get to know.  Lots of them will just stand or sit hours for themselves without letting any guy or girl interact with them. This is way the opposite of how I know Swedish people or American people.

I think social pressure is one of the reasons why girls here are obsessed about being pure the old fashion way. People care a lot about how other people view them, and don't want to make conflicts or being viewed in a bad way.

So as I stand now, I was forced to go make some vulenteer work, and there I met nice open people. But else I'm forced to still hang out with my friends from my small town outside cph.

welcome on Expat-Blog danji88

Majority of people aer right in saying danes are introevrt and its really very difficult for expats like me to get some friendship going.I am here for 2 months but do not have a single aquaintance . Its getting depresseing here , though i am her eon a Green Card still i have beginning to think to go back home.

asad675 wrote:

Majority of people aer right in saying danes are introevrt and its really very difficult for expats like me to get some friendship going.I am here for 2 months but do not have a single aquaintance . Its getting depresseing here , though i am her eon a Green Card still i have beginning to think to go back home.

then go home.
how do you want to make acquaintances when you can not properly speak any language apart form your mother's tongue? making friends = communication, i.e. you must be able to make urself understood and understand the others. judging from you english - a difficult task!!

did anybody of the whiners above not know it before u moved to the country? what did you expect - that they would roll the red carpet for you and introduce you to the danish queen?

the nordic nations are known to be a bit "colder" in regards of their relationships with the others. if this is not your type of communication - well, simply choose another country to move to.

tsveti >  Your message is a bit aggressive

@ Tsveti: About 2 Billion people in the world speak english and i guess it would not be justified to compare 2 billion to a language spoken by a population of 5.4 million .

So if english is mostly used , and danes also know it then i do not see any harm in local people here conversing with foreigners in english . Lets not make it an egoistic issue. Moreover we are learning Danish language as well and trying to integrate , but it will take some time i guess.

Well my command over English language was that bad then " Your Country " would not have granted me a work permit in highly skilled category . If you think the system here is wrong then the policy makers and the people running the system are mostly danes therefore are you questioning intellect of your own people ?

I read my post to which you replied ,there was not anythin gramatically wrong , i admit a lot typos though .

I am definitely not expecting a Red Carpet , but atleast a friendly attitude , behaviour would certainly help. This is not about Denmark in particular , but whenever you go to a new place after spending a lifetime at a place intially its hard to get accustomed to the culture etc. but in the long run things get sorted out.

Above all , who are you to  ask me to move to other country ? if you want to do that then ask you policy makers who found me capable enough to come here and add value to businesses being done here .

i can smell something my friend here , and to cool things down i can share with you a quote : read it with a cool mind , put yourself in my place and see how would you feel , if you move to some other place where you do not know local language , you do not know people etc.

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.
“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” MLK jr

Hi all!

Can we please cool down and avoid personal attacks which are obviously contradictory to the topic of this thread?

Thanks
Armand

@Armand: yeah you are right , this is a place to let go of all the animosity and develop good relations and help each other out

why does everyone automatically assume that all expats live in Copenhagen

That being said to make friends with Danes, your best option is to join one of the many sports/social clubs that exist almost all over Denmark. I personally live in a town of only about 4000 people, and we have a Billiard club, Soccer Club, Handball Club, Swimming Club, 3 shooting ranges (two outdoor and one indoor) 2 gymnastic clubs, Danish Folk dancing association, Badminton club, Cycling club, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

I hope this helps

Best Regards from a native Dane
Henrik

Hy guys, I'm an Italian newcomer! I arrived in Copenhagen at the end of Maj, and I'm staying here for the summer, for some researches at the university.
What you all are saying is true: it's really hard to be friends with danish people.
I'm used to the italian way: everybody is warm with newcomers and try to make you feel at ease, showing their best and offering help and everything ... When I arrived at the university, I indtroduced myself to the departmen's staff, they all smiled at me and returned at their work, as if I was invisible ... 10 days passed and still I don't know anyone, even if sometimes I try to start a conversation.
So, I'm feeling really bad, I'm always alone and I spend all my days at the university, but I can't stand it anymore! I want to go outside, for a coffee or a beer, talk with people, organize dinners at my appartment, go shopping ... and all the things people usually do with friends ...
Danish people are really kind, but they they never treat you with familiarity ...

Hi,

I'm Anirudh. I will be soon moving to Copenhagen hopefully in december. Add me to your contacts so that we can in touch.

Thank you.

regards,
Anirudh.

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