Writing a book on expat "mistakes and observations" in Cambodia!

You should make a big bill board warning Khmers how to drive properly so no accident be happening between foreigner and khmers. They ride bikes answering their phones. The roads are small and here rushing SUVs and fast bikes. Proper?  . They are illegal parking . and when someone died on the street no one calls the ambulance ,just drag the body like a dead pig , thats it!

Educate the Khmer . Stop issuing licenses to those who can not drive . those people from the mountains driving a car here causing accidents.

That's an excellent post. I agree with you 100%...I'm tired of having to dodge these teens who are on their phones or even texting. Also, I've seen large families on the motos (upwards of 9 people) Unreal.I think one of the problems is that parents have absolutely NO control over their kids, no discipline, nothing. They're allowed to just run around like animals.

Thanks for the reply...you better believe it's going to be in the book.

To make it easy for you I suggest you join the Expat.com for Thailand. Thailand was this way in many ways before.  Globally people look at a coup take over as something very bad.  Well with Thailand take over I can not disagree more.  They have cleaned up a lot of the garbage the westerns brought with them when they first started going there.  Everything was the same there before as you see here.  Sometimes you just have to adjust to some of the things because this is their way of life and that is it.  Yes the driving habits are very bad and I have seen worst in other Asian countries.  So bear with it they are in growing pains until the country grows more.  Advancements and growth go together.  With the growth of tourism changes will automatically happen, it's has to keep the tourist coming.  China is pouring a lot of money in this country so the changes will come but slowly.  I have seen better highways and safer in China then in America. I have been traveling this part of the world for almost thirty years and I have seen growth good and bad.

Thank you very much for the suggestion...I'm going to check it out right now.

the biggest mistake expats make is to come here ( SE Asia ) thinking to find a life companion / wife.

they think that after years of working alone in the west they an just hop on a plane, meet an exotic woman ( often at the bar but not necessarily ) take here out of her misery with a few hundred dollars and that she will be grateful to them for the rest of their lives. 

the bars and the internet are full of sob stories of 60+ year old that got ripped off of every last dime by a cute 20 to 30 year old asian girl.  and yet every year those men keep on flocking to SE asia thinking "no, its not gonna happen to me, im different, im smart, i can tell if they're pulling my leg.."

these women know every trick in the book to make a man believe that she's willing to leave that lifestyle just to be his and only "wife".  but once the poor lad has invested money to rebuild her parents house ( roof ) and bought her a few golden trinkets, maybe a piece of land for their love nest etc thats when things change.

she'll pretend more and more money, expect him to pay even for the neighbors schooling; and if he says no or i can't then she'll leave him and look for the next guy fresh off the plane and it all starts again.  these women can not change or leave this scamming lifestyle.  there's big money to be made easily and there's a big flow of lonely western guys with glossy eyes wanting to find love after working 40+ years.

they also know that these guys have no one back home and probably no one would marry them either; if they were a "catch" they wouldn't come to the other side of the planet to find companionship.

for example Thailand is jammed packed with such stories; and most of them end in tragedy, literally.  some men after selling their home in London and bought a house and land for them to spend the last years of his life; he finds out that the land was actually her families and that she is still married to a Thai guy that has 2 girlfriends on the side while his wife is out scamming lonely western men. 

like once a bargirl asked me "why do you foreigners ( farangs ) never check-in your brain at the airport when coming to Thailand ?"

good luck.

EXCELLENT post, thanks. I as well have heard of these stories. I have a friend that at this moment is going through at least one of these "situations".  All interesting to listen to, but also sad.

Thanks!!

I can tell you first hand that the above is true. The women here all think Farangs are all rich, even if you tell them 1,000 times that you are not. The women, and their families, for the most part, are all scheming on ways to get you to spend all your money on them. When you run out of money, the women leave. Mine did, after 4 1/2 years together. I would rather live under a bridge in the USA than live with another Khmei woman.

Re driving, most people simply buy their licenses.That is what is expected by all. They never do a driving test.

A "dos and dont's" book sounds a bit simplistic and there are several on the market already. Have a look at Amazon.
Maybe you should do a bit of profiling on the Barangs, the girls and business for that side of the story. It might help if you try and map out some social and economic framework for your anecdotal collecting.

Yes, yes, it is very true.  well don't expect too much and if its too good to be true then most likely its not real.   With anything in life you have to get your feet wet to actually know, its a gamble!  But you do have your brain so please do not let your desires over run it.

Like what was said  above,  keep your eyes and ears open for the unexpected,  and don't be surprised at the  driver ahead, behind and on either side of you to do something totally different from what you might expect.  Watch out for the guy  with the 4 meter length of PVC on his shoulder,  with 3 meters behind him, or the guy with a 30 cm wooden beam lashed cross ways on the seat behind him, effectively blocking at least 2 lanes. Or the guy pulling 10 meters of rebar, with the last few meters dragging on the ground,  throwing sparks as he goes.  Alwayd remember that you are in the wrong in any accident,  regardless of what crazy thing the other guy did. That's why it is a very good idea to have insurance,  as the first thing you should do is   call them and let them deal with the other side and/or the police.  Never admit that it was your fault. Let the insurance company deal with all that. Its cheap,  maybe $50 a year for a large motorcycle.  Thats what I paid for my Harley Sportster in 2010. It can save you a lot of money in the event of the least significant accident.

By the way,  I did write much about the subject.  It's most likely in the Archive here , under the title of "Anyone ever been given a woman?  Well I have". It was quite lengthy, but covered a lot of areas. I would be glad to talk to you about it if you are interested.

My observation. The first mistake loser expats make is they come to a place where they think the people are ignorant animals. Why would they do that? Then they whine about how the ignorant animals took 'em to the cleaners or ruined their lives when actually its their own lack of brains and immorality that got them into trouble. A 60-something guy losing money to a 25yr old desperately poor Khmer woman is an ignorant immoral animal who came here to buy sex from a young girl for a few dollars and stupidly fell in love over a few sweet words of English from someone who's "job" it is to make them feel good. The ones who married women they can't even say hello to in their language are the dumbest people on Earth. No book is going to save them. These bitter gullible people are eager to share their angry complaints and ignorant failures with an amateur author who's trying to cash in on their misery too. I have only been here a year and I know far more guys who are happily married to Khmer women, have children than I do sad sacks. None of these guys write books about it or think Khmer are gold-digging animals. Why not write a book about them? So instead of have disgruntled angry people hee-hawing about their failures you'll have happy people who explain and demonstrate how it's done.

I'd like to hear about that...I'll look at the other topics, and if I can't find it I'll let you know. I've been here over three years but am still fascinated by all subjects. Thanks!

I've seen that as well...the 60 or even 70 year old expat sitting next to some extremely young Khmer girl in a tuk tuk, not talking, both looking miserable. All he knows how to say (most likely) is "boom boom". All she's thinking of how much she can get from him for her "dead cow" or "sick grandmother in the country", even her gambling or drinking problem. Oh, and the entire family moves in with them and sleeps on the floor. I've heard too much already, and it's pretty depressing.

A young Khmer girl approached me in a restaurant and said in beautiful English
"Excuse me sir. Would like to buy a book?".
I am always interested in books. "Let's see".....
She tried to hand me seven different books. Every one was about the Khmer holocaust some with skulls on the cover and such. I wouldn't touch them.
"No thanks" I said, "I do not read those books."
"Why not sir? They are very interesting."
I don't read them because they make me sad."
She said "They may make you sad sir, but they are still very interesting."
"They are not interesting to me. They would make me sad and want to cry. Why do you sell them?"
"I earn money to go to school sir."
"Well your English is amazing. I think it's great that you go to school. How much do you earn from selling one book?"
"One dollar sir."
"How much does it cost to go to this school that teaches you this perfect beautiful English you speak?"
"Oh thank you sir! Two dollars per day sir.".... (Sounds like a lot.)
I said "I will give you six dollars but I don't want your books. I want you to promise to write a book someday, in English, about how you put yourself through school selling books and became an author. And other children can sell your book and not books about the saddest time in Cambodia."
I handed her six bucks.
"I will sir. Thank you very much sir."
We had quite a mature conversation over the next fifteen minutes.
I imagine she went right home and gave the money to Mum. But the odds seemed good it went to pay for school.
I will never know. But I hope I helped her to look to the future for salvation and not the ugly past.

Quite the optimist (and two dollars is way too much for school, more like 75 cents) But anyway, good to have some optimism in the country.

Like I said it sounded expensive. So she conned out of enough money to pay for school for a week.

I couldn't agree more. Sounds as if you have as much on the job training as I have.  To the point and in laymen terms for anyone to understand.

i'd say that the capital of the world for older farangs getting ripped off by local bargirls is PATTAYA.  there are even youtube vieos made by those guys warning not to go there and sharing their sad experiences. 

books have been written about Pattaya; but keep falling on deaf ears.

all those guys think "no, its not gonna happen to me" and "no, she's different".

I'm on the girls' side.... except for out-right theft, that is a one-off stealing cash or property. But often that is the fault of the victim too for carelessly leading them into temptation by leaving his cell phone or wallet laying around. It just shows he's totally ignorant about the people he's dealing with and how desperately poor these girls are along with the families they most often provide for by..... selling themselves, an abomination and sin in Cambodian culture.

But if it's a sex/love/marriage/business/money long-term con-game why shouldn't these guys get "ripped off"? Let the buyer beware. And what are they up to themselves? Most of the time they're not so high&mighty Christian moral giants in my book. I sure ain't myself. I feel for these victims but it's pity at their ignorance and stupidity that I feel most. When you can't even say "I love you" in her language you should question your judgement.
One of my long-time live-in Thai paramours asked me one night "Why do you love me?" I took her by the hand and walked over to the mirror. I said "look at that", the two of us standing there side by side. But I never bought her a house for chrissake!.

The typical "victim" is often someone who has no one in the world who cares for them, for whatever reason (he might be a total shit), and has some money which doesn't serve to make him happy at all. And he pays while enjoying the happy delusion that he's loved and cared for. That can have a very sad ending indeed! But I think it's actually as common in our own countries as it is here.

The other type of guy is involved right in the game himself. A savvy successful guy who (thinks he) knows the score. Occasionally one gets out-foxed because in his diabolical mind he's the one doing the victimizing; winning the game. Welcome to the jungle!

I think the cases of Khmer (&Pattaya) girls losing out are far far more numerous. For a few dollars and false promises of more they give it all up and lose because the guy doesn't really give a shit. They wind up as penniless as when they started and they lose their time, happiness and dignity and some actually have a broken heart to boot. Nobody writes books about them.

The barang horror stories anyway are far far fewer than the successful stories. Nobody writes about being happily married with three children and business, work, schools and family or endless days living on the beach with their  20-something China-girl. We don't talk about it. We do it.

The person who started this thread is conning us. We're writing the book not her. She admittedly knows nothing about the subject and has nothing to contribute, but believes she can make some money or fame "writing" a book. What she's actually doing is producing an anthology and not intending to pay the authors.
So before you talk about Khmer merchants and bar-girls ripping you off think about that.

A friend of mine married an ex-bar girl-not to call it something else...
They are living together for over 5 years. They also live on €700 a month, have a beautiful boy, (5y)
They never never looked back and are happy together.

I also have two friends who married proper bitches.
Gambling away all of their husband money in Casinos. One use to be a industrial and "was" loaded.

I have another friend who married a girl from the country side.
She's got a sister who lives with them and a daughter from her first marriage. He's 65 she's 38. They love each other and are together for over 7 years.
Score: 2 v 2
No further comment.

What's your point? No making money or not spoiling bar girls reputation?

Is driving safely in Cambodia possible?
Of course it is: As most of us will not be working but are here to enjoy life...
GO SLOW, DON'T LET YOURSELF DISTRACTED BY YOUR PASSENGER, DON'T TAKE DRUGS OR DRINK WHILE DRIVING, STOP IF YOU SENSE ANY DANGER UPFRONT, CHECK YOUR SIDE MIRRORS EVERY 10 SECONDED.
If you follow these simple (common sense) advice, YOU'LL LIVE LONGER AND WILL SAVE ON HOSPITAL BILLS!

Call it a fair exchange, lol. The guy get what he wants- the girl too-

Have to confess that I enjoyed reading madmax's earlier thread/posts without feeling any guilt, superiority, despair, moral indignation and such. People do like to get judgmental as a first response, but it might be more fruitful to have a bit of compassion for both sides, after all the situation is the product of larger forces.
Why is it that so many Khmer women have come to be in an untenable economic position, so that many have chosen prostitution rather than become a worker in a garment factory, or taken up the less hard core business of being a professional girlfriend, with a view to possibly making a good marriage? The vast majority of prostitution is in any case entirely Khmer and if you ask why many Khmer girls prefer a Barang, they will probably tell you firstly that there is endemic domestic violence practiced by Khmer men, then there is the money that can at least alleviate the brutalizing poverty that so many people live in, while their well heeled compatriots are razing the forests and building condominiums worth millions instead of contributing to building a fair nation.
On the Barang side, there are many older men who have lost out with family and ageism in their own countries and are for all practical purposes alone and very needy emotionally. They have in many cases forgotten what a robust live relationship entails and reverted to primitive transactional ideas of women as chattel; women who can't answer back, because they probably don't have enough language, education or understanding of foreign values. They just can't explain themselves in Pidgin English, even if they realize that some of the problem is that they can't establish a dialogue.

Then there is also the most basic cultural problem, which is more along the lines of old fashioned "class" than nationality and language. Whether the man is American, French, German, Russian and so on, they are still likely to have come from a city with at least a high school education and some idea of the outside world through media and travel, even if they are working class bogans, whereas the girl they fancy is likely to be illiterate or just attended a very dysfunctional Cambodian primary school and internalized the hard, disruptive, free-for-all values of the villages with radically different ideas of what constitutes a victim.
Recently, I was in conversation with a Cambodian friend about how far Cambodia has come in eliminating sex trafficking, especially of underage children, to which my friend replied that you can still buy 12 year old virgins for around $2500 in may villages. Yes, she said, it is more secret, but there is no problem for rich Khmer men going through family contacts and so on. I expressed my sadness for the young, who have to endure this practice, to which she replied that I need not feel sorry, as the young girl may feel lucky, as she now will have enough money to establish a family of her own.

I don't know what to say about this feudalistic mindset, so far from middle class values that the rich countries of the world have been able to afford for their children. It's a hard and hypocritical world. Ask any Syrian.

Linda, if you don't find a way to credit your on-line sources, you may get IP issues and even litigation...

Yep, have seen something similar in contemporary Greece with gender reversal, where a rich older north European woman had bought a lot of clothes and bling for a young gigolo, who looked like Apollo. She thought she "owned" him and could demand his attentions outright, only to be left and laughed at.

How about all foreigners thinking Asian women walking hands in hands with a white guy is automatically a prostitute?

I have Cambodian parents, I'm born in Belgium (Flanders so yes I do speak Dutch) look like Khmer came and live here with my white husband (French speaking learned him English thole)  and most of the time when we meet new expats i am ignored because I probably don't understand them. Because well you know I must be with him for his money or papers. Getting judged by expats is something I have to deal with almost every day.

But don't worry getting judged by the locals also cause they dont understand why with my white husband I refuse to stay at home and have a shit loads of baby's like that I secure my future with my husband..... Sorry I'm a bit feminist and like to have my financial independence and truly believe that both of us need to bring money in, not just the guy and having a baby to be able to blackmail the husband for staying with me is a big no no.

Very difficult human relationships over here maybe I will go and live on a deserted island with my husband of course.

I have read a sad story recently.
A man was accused of been a pedophile in the street. Even shouted at by some females pedestrian as he was walking hand in hand with a 11 years old girl.
It was his daughter!

Another true story, this time in the uk.
A mob sent a man to the hospital, by beating him up, and try to set his house on fire.
Yes, the mob, read in the news paper that he was a pediatrician and confused him with a pedophile.