Why Move to Ecuador and Seek Out a Gringo Lifestyle?

People move from one country to another mainly for economic reasons. As with every culture that has migrated somewhere else, they like to retain as much of theirs as possible. With time though people assimilate and integrate other societies some times without even realizing it. If you live in Ecuador or anywhere else for a couple of years or more, and then go back to the States. You will find the things that you like most about it. The things that you dislike about it, will hit you like a hammer. Don't take my word for it. Ask around some more.

Sure many don't plan on that. How many say "I'm moving to Ecuador, Costa Rica, Mexico, Panama, etc. so I can live a gringo lifestyle." As is often the case, an unfamiliar language, and culture make the adaption, and integration process difficult. Look at almost any country, and think you'll find it's usually the young children, or younger people that are able to adapt the easiest to a new country, and culture. Am sure many wish they were able to fit in better outside of their normal comfort zone, but that's just not gonna happen for most.

This question doesn't really make sense to me, unless it's being asked by someone with some kind of ascetic agenda wherein they feel they must live as the "locals" do to feel some kind of fulfillment.... Some people just want to live somewhere different, not live differently.

TerrazzoGuy wrote:

This question doesn't really make sense to me, unless it's being asked by someone with some kind of ascetic agenda wherein they feel they must live as the "locals" do to feel some kind of fulfillment.... Some people just want to live somewhere different, not live differently.

Good point.  I don't think anyone has to necessarily abandon any particular lifestyle to be happy elsewhere nor do they need to successfully assimilate into local life and culture, which might be important to some people and unimportant to others.  People leaving after a few years are often the ones that cannot achieve the lifestyle they learned they truly want.

I consider this to be a landmark and epiphanic discussion, and if any thread on this forum warranted one of those orange thumbtacks next to it, this one does.

P.S.
Mugs or CC.  Can you hit me up with the link to the Mexico thread that served as the inspiration for this one?

We've lived in a couple of secured, walled, gated expat compounds (by assignment, not by choice). It's weird. Every time you go in and out of the gate it's like leaving and entering a different world. Jarring. I would never freely choose such a living arrangement.

But I must admit there were times when I really did not want to go out. Some days when I felt like I just couldn't face the poverty and depression and cruelty of life outside the gate. Not even enough to nip out to the nearest kiosk for beer and smokes.

It's better just not to do the secured expat lifestyle to begin with. That way you're not traveling back and forth between cultures all the time. Meld with your surroundings, blend in, become a part of it.

gardener1 wrote:

It's better just not to do the secured expat lifestyle to begin with. That way you're not traveling back and forth between cultures all the time. Meld with your surroundings, blend in, become a part of it.

I suspect we are always traveling between cultures, unless we live some place where there are no expats or have made a conscious decision not to have anything to do with other expats.  I find myself constantly moving between cultures.  Maybe I misunderstand what you mean by melding and blending, but we really stand out and are pretty easily identified for what we are, foreigners.

gardener1 wrote:

It's better just not to do the secured expat lifestyle to begin with. That way you're not traveling back and forth between cultures all the time. Meld with your surroundings, blend in, become a part of it.

Yeah, as much as you can. I think there's a big difference between being an expat and a "foreigner". Maybe it's all in your mind. Something subjective. I dunno

Nards Barley wrote:

I consider this to be a landmark and epiphanic discussion, and if any thread on this forum warranted one of those orange thumbtacks next to it, this one does.

P.S.
Mugs or CC.  Can you hit me up with the link to the Mexico thread that served as the inspiration for this one?

Absolutely, Nards.

That inspiration arose from the following thread about Mexican ocean communities, with Anne's question appearing in Report #11 and mugtech's response in Report #12....

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=482917

cccmedia in Quito

quito0819 wrote:

we really stand out and are pretty easily identified for what we are, foreigners.

Yes, that's very true.

I remember one day in a foreign country I was just on the street minding my own business doing nothing, leaning on a subway stair rail and just watching the world go by. A fellow came up to me and started asking me questions in English, it totally took me by surprise.

I asked him why he assumed I spoke English and why he came to talk to me and why he had bothered to even notice me at all. He replied, that a person of my age and gender and dress and demeanor from his country, would never have been standing in the snow just watching the world go by. Just because I was standing there doing nothing I was sniffed out as as a foreigner.

It is nearly impossible to hide, isn't it?

And I was wearing clothing completely bought in their country, native fashion - buried under hat and coat and gloves and boots, nothing more of me visible than cheeks and nose. Still under all that, I got pegged as a foreigner forthwith.

Addendum: we went off for coffee and had a fine afternoon.

gardener1 wrote:

It's better just not to do the secured expat lifestyle to begin with. That way you're not traveling back and forth between cultures all the time. Meld with your surroundings, blend in, become a part of it.

In Quito, you don't necessarily need to make a choice between a secure building or complex...and such a split of cultures.

When I return home through the main entrance to the 90-unit condo complex, I am greeted by my Ecuadorian security guard, and 98 percent of the people I encounter inside appear to be native Ecuadorians.  There is no sense of switching between cultures.

Meantime, I appreciate the 24-hour guard security and other security measures that make interior access difficult for those who do not belong inside the complex. 

For the security, property maintenance and administration, I pay a condo fee of $29.25 per month.

cccmedia in Quito

I know there are many gringos in Cuenca who seek out Ecuadorian neighborhoods because they don't want to live in a building filled with a high percentage of gringos such as the Palmero. 

It may give them the mindset of integrating into the community, but frequently due to their limited Spanish, their interaction with neighbors consists of waving and nodding their heads.  My recommendation is for newbie expats is to embrace their fellow gringo, since they have a lot more in common with them.

Last November I spent 3 weeks out in the province of Ilocos Sur on Luzon in the Philippines, saw no other Americans the whole time.  In the Philippines I can get by on my English when required, and I have my wife, who is fluent in Tagalog and Ilocano.  I do not intend to learn any new language, but we all eat the same foods, shop the same stores, go to the same entertainment etc.  I used the computer to watch NFL football, stay in touch with the USA.  I intend to stay for many months at a time in the future, and if we can locate the right place in the mountains, full time.  I am comforted by the fact that it is a 20 minute bus ride to the provincial capital, Vigan, where I have seen North Americans on previous trips.  There are expats in Laoog, Ilocos Norte, about 90 minutes north of our place.  So I can take the trip to the expat MickyD meeting place if I feel the need.  I realize that being married to a Filipina and being surrounded by family makes my situation different than most, but even in these conditions I am not giving up any of the things That are not well known in the Philippines but enjoyed by me.  I am looking forward to giving all my books about the Philippines to the local library, in my will, of course.

mugtech wrote:

do not intend to learn any new language,....

There are expats in Laoog, Ilocos Norte, about 90 minutes north of our place.  So I can take the trip to the expat MickyD meeting place if I feel the need.

I am sure you will pick up enough of the language to order something from MickyD's without your wife's help.   Worst case scenario, you can use your finger to point at the photo of the desired combo meal.

Nards Barley wrote:

mugtech wrote:

do not intend to learn any new language,....

There are expats in Laoog, Ilocos Norte, about 90 minutes north of our place.  So I can take the trip to the expat MickyD meeting place if I feel the need.

I am sure you will pick up enough of the language to order something from MickyD's without your wife's help.   Worst case scenario, you can use your finger to point at the photo of the desired combo meal.

All I need to know is how to order coffee at MD
I know enough of the language to not starve, if I must order manuk (chicken)

gardener1 wrote:

quito0819 wrote:

we really stand out and are pretty easily identified for what we are, foreigners.

Yes, that's very true.

I remember one day in a foreign country I was just on the street minding my own business doing nothing, leaning on a subway stair rail and just watching the world go by. A fellow came up to me and started asking me questions in English, it totally took me by surprise.

I asked him why he assumed I spoke English and why he came to talk to me and why he had bothered to even notice me at all. He replied, that a person of my age and gender and dress and demeanor from his country, would never have been standing in the snow just watching the world go by. Just because I was standing there doing nothing I was sniffed out as as a foreigner.

It is nearly impossible to hide, isn't it?

And I was wearing clothing completely bought in their country, native fashion - buried under hat and coat and gloves and boots, nothing more of me visible than cheeks and nose. Still under all that, I got pegged as a foreigner forthwith.

Addendum: we went off for coffee and had a fine afternoon.

In 2011 my wife and i went to Ireland and visited my relatives.  To my wife we looked the same.  In Waterford I was waiting outside while my wife was in a store.  just smoking my pipe.  A man came up and said, You're a Yank, aren't you... go figure, Gardner1...(and it was night...)

I hate to admit this but I used to say I was Canadian when people had me pegged as a foreigner.  It always went over better. Why are we Americans so unpopular?

suefrankdahl wrote:

I hate to admit this but I used to say I was Canadian when people had me pegged as a foreigner.  It always went over better. Why are we Americans so unpopular?

Please, Oracle of Oregon, don't get us started on the topics of unnecessary foreign wars and surveillance of foreign leaders.

cccmedia wrote:

gardener1 wrote:

It's better just not to do the secured expat lifestyle to begin with. That way you're not traveling back and forth between cultures all the time. Meld with your surroundings, blend in, become a part of it.

In Quito, you don't necessarily need to make a choice between a secure building or complex...and such a split of cultures.

When I return home through the main entrance to the 90-unit condo complex, I am greeted by my Ecuadorian security guard, and 98 percent of the people I encounter inside appear to be native Ecuadorians.  There is no sense of switching between cultures.

Meantime, I appreciate the 24-hour guard security and other security measures that make interior access difficult for those who do not belong inside the complex. 

For the security, property maintenance and administration, I pay a condo fee of $29.25 per month.

cccmedia in Quito

From my own experience, I think we tend to socialize with people who are and think the way we do, and that doesn't necessarily mean locals vs. foreigners.  Here, we have local friends, but also friends from France, South Africa and UK. What do we have in common with these people?  Education/culture, interests, activities... and financial means.

No friends from Quebec or Canada despite the facts that we met some.  We just don't "fit" with them.

I presume it's the same all over the world.  Look at how many gated communities there are in the US.  You don't need to live abroad to see similar people gathering together.  Most people who immigrate in a Western country also tend to move around the same area creating a kind of ghetto.  How many Chinatowns can we find all over the world?  Same for Italian, Portuguese, Jews... wealthy and poor.

If you are a truck driver living in a small house countryside in US or UK and suddenly a wealthy Arabic buys the house next to yours and wants to become your friend.  Do you really think it will work out?  Your first reaction will be "what the F... is he doing here?  We have nothing in common...".  I'm not saying it can't work out.  I'm just saying that when you settle somewhere, there are good chances there's a fit with who you are and where you've been.

Hello, all,
As yulrun noted, compatibility is the key variable that bonds us to friendships regardless of where we are from and who we are. That doesn't necessarily mean individuals come from the same country or culture. I've lived/taught in various countries in Europe, Asia and the Middle East. Not all of my buds were Americans but it's true ex-pats tend to gravitate towards those who share similar interests AND can communicate in the same language, a major factor, I believe. As another poster commented, many older folks who retire in Ecuador may find that mastering a second language is not on the top of their list (nor is it easy based on psycholinguistic research--and some are more talented in foreign languages than others) which may ostensibly lead to searching out friends who speak the same lingo. It seems economic variables (living comfortably) motivate many to retire in Ecuador but the ex-pat to ex-pat friendships that develop can be explained along socioaffective dimensions (sharing similar interests, passion for travel, meeting others, learning about other cultures; easy to develop an emotional bond).

Conversely, just because native English-speaking ex-pats can communicate in the same language doesn't mean they share the same cultural perceptions.  For one, we certainly know men and women exhibit different communication styles. Case in point: I had gone to a dinner club with a friend in New Zealand. The comedian began his show by asking how many in the audience were from NZ, Australia, UK, Canada or the U.S. I was the only one who raised my hand as a Yank. As he delivered his performance, I admit I didn't grasp the humor as the locals did. The point here, though, is if we have a misunderstanding, it is unequivocally easier to communicate when both parties can repair/negotiate in the same language.  This scenario illustrates how language and culture are inextricably bound. I'm sure there will be as many responses to this question as there are personalities, as we are all unique individuals. Apologies if I exceeded the word limit.
Best wishes,
PS

peripatetic_soul wrote:

The point here, though, is if we have a misunderstanding, it is unequivocally easier to communicate when both parties can repair/negotiate in the same language.,,, Apologies if I exceeded the word limit.

There's a word limit?

cccmedia wrote:

suefrankdahl wrote:

I hate to admit this but I used to say I was Canadian when people had me pegged as a foreigner.  It always went over better. Why are we Americans so unpopular?

Please, Oracle of Oregon, don't get us started on the topics of unnecessary foreign wars and surveillance of foreign leaders.

I absolutely was not going there

peripatetic_soul wrote:

Case in point: I had gone to a dinner club with a friend in New Zealand. The comedian began his show by asking how many in the audience were from NZ, Australia, UK, Canada or the U.S. I was the only one who raised my hand as a Yank. As he delivered his performance, I admit I didn't grasp the humor as the locals did. The point here, though, is if we have a misunderstanding, it is unequivocally easier to communicate when both parties can repair/negotiate in the same language.  This scenario illustrates how language and culture are inextricably bound. I'm sure there will be as many responses to this question as there are personalities, as we are all unique individuals. Apologies if I exceeded the word limit.
Best wishes,
PS

I experienced something similar during 9/11 as I was stuck in South America during a business trip without any way to come back to Canada.  Our distributor in Chile invited me to a family outing on a Saturday evening,  I was really happy as it was an opportunity to do something else than hanging around my hotel... I felt privileged to have an opportunity to "blend with the locals"

We went with several members of his family to a restaurant/comedy club and I basically spent the whole evening looking at them laughing like crazy.  I maybe caught 2-3 jokes!  Interesting experience, but not the kind of thing you want to do an a regular basis.

I am a retired airline pilot who flew to Quito for 16 years (I prefer the old airport by the way). I married a Quitania dentist and am ready to acclimate to the Ecuadorian lifestyle and obtaining my citizenship there. While I understand what other Expats are doing, I guess I'm on the side of diving in head first and going all in.