Pervert on Expat Blog

ladyluck13 wrote:

Not complaining, just decided to join in this discussion, I just block them and that's the end of them. After all they are harmless if ignored. I would never dream of replying to them as it just gives them the attention they crave. Just find it better to have a sense of humour and a good laugh about them on here 

Just a little bit to think about ladyluck13.  If you were the one getting unsolicited, unwanted, annoying, messages seeking dates or even outrightly seeking sexual relationships from people you didn't even know; wouldn't you appreciate every little bit of help you could get to put a stop to it??? I'm sure you would.

Blocking may solve the problem for you, but not always. There are ways for computer savvy people to get around that. The only definitive way of resolving the problem for yourself and for everyone else is to REPORT every incident. When a member is banned for this activity they usually have their IP address banned so that means they can't simply register as a new user and continue to pester female members here.

Blocking does nothing to help all the other female members who are experiencing the same problem. Reporting does!!! Also blocking a member does absolutely NOTHING to stop others from committing the same kind of things. Reporting does, seeing all the avatars with BANNED under them gives all of the other creeps and perverts out there the strong message that we take these things seriously and they won't last long here. That in itself disuades many of them from even starting.

Like the old saying goes, "If you're not part of the SOLUTION, then you're part of the PROBLEM."

I cannot stress this firmly enough to our members (all members male and female) when you have any problems at all with private messages or topic postings that you find annoying, objectionable, improper in any way, the only correct way to deal with them is REPORT, REPORT, REPORT.

Blocking afterwards, if you wish to do so if fine, but does failing to REPORT, (an action equal to throwing someone else to the hungry wolves to save your own skin) really sit well with your conscience, knowing that you COULD HAVE HELPED????

Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team

Regarding banning will help, don't think so cos there are lots of  anonymous programmes, meaning with every log in, a different IP! Ignoring is by far the best way, afterall people have already mentioned the messages are rather harmless and silly. Since banning could result in a trial of strength with hackers, the site will look stupid at the end cos not standing a chance, if we take into consideration real web chiants had to bow the time they started closing accounts... If u give silly people to much attention they will gain confidence ... After all attention is what they are waiting for...

You don't give attention by deleting them, ignoring you will. So ignore the unsolicited and unwanted messages,  how harmless they might seen in the first place,  is a stimulant to go bother other women. And they aren't welcome..
The moderation team can see who's coming back (other nickname, same IP address) and in those cases they take other actions.

Hope no more new nicknames they use and no more Silly messages they send and no more lame excuses they posted on Forum 

Primadonna wrote:

You don't give attention by deleting them, ignoring you will. So ignore the unsolicited and unwanted messages,  how harmless they might seen in the first place,  is a stimulant to go bother other women. And they aren't welcome..
The moderation team can see who's coming back (other nickname, same IP address) and in those cases they take other actions.

Thanks, but I know how the moderation team works as I have been running my own site for a few years. I'm not complaining as I do what works best for me and that is block them. I can't speak for others. I was simply replying to a post that someone else started. What I have noticed on this site though is that when someone starts a topic and it is just for a bit of fun, admin, moderators are way too quick at blocking that topic. It would be a good idea to let people have fun once in a while as long as people are not being rude or nasty, then it hurts nobody.

James wrote:

ladyluck13 wrote:

Not complaining, just decided to join in this discussion, I just block them and that's the end of them. After all they are harmless if ignored. I would never dream of replying to them as it just gives them the attention they crave. Just find it better to have a sense of humour and a good laugh about them on here 

Just a little bit to think about ladyluck13.  If you were the one getting unsolicited, unwanted, annoying, messages seeking dates or even outrightly seeking sexual relationships from people you didn't even know; wouldn't you appreciate every little bit of help you could get to put a stop to it??? I'm sure you would.

Blocking may solve the problem for you, but not always. There are ways for computer savvy people to get around that. The only definitive way of resolving the problem for yourself and for everyone else is to REPORT every incident. When a member is banned for this activity they usually have their IP address banned so that means they can't simply register as a new user and continue to pester female members here.

Blocking does nothing to help all the other female members who are experiencing the same problem. Reporting does!!! Also blocking a member does absolutely NOTHING to stop others from committing the same kind of things. Reporting does, seeing all the avatars with BANNED under them gives all of the other creeps and perverts out there the strong message that we take these things seriously and they won't last long here. That in itself disuades many of them from even starting.

Like the old saying goes, "If you're not part of the SOLUTION, then you're part of the PROBLEM."

I cannot stress this firmly enough to our members (all members male and female) when you have any problems at all with private messages or topic postings that you find annoying, objectionable, improper in any way, the only correct way to deal with them is REPORT, REPORT, REPORT.

Blocking afterwards, if you wish to do so if fine, but does failing to REPORT, (an action equal to throwing someone else to the hungry wolves to save your own skin) really sit well with your conscience, knowing that you COULD HAVE HELPED????

Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team

Thanks for all that James. I cannot be held responsible in keeping other women or members of this site safe. That is the job of admins & moderators as I have my own site and it is my responsibility for that. 

Also as you mention "computer savvy" people. and talking through experience, lots of people these days log in using Proxy servers which lets them change their IP every time they come online and log into sites, forums etc, It's a very simple process, so when people report someone to admin, admin them bans the culprits IP address, The banned person them finds that he cannot log in so simply changes his proxy server which in return assigns him a nice new IP. So he simply creates a new user name and comes back again. I've seen this happen too many times. So I hope you understand why I personally find it easier to just block a stupid message as I really have no desire to chat with some total weirdo lol. I just drop by here to see what's happening, read topics and generally join in conversations, Although I have seen where some of the topics get closed by mods & admins just for trying to have a bit of a banter and harmless fun. Not everyone wants to sit talking in private messages.

If you see a perv/weirdo/nut job, just hit the report button.

Loads get found within a few minutes of posting, banned and posts deleted, so most members never see them, but they're put there, so any help in weeding out the ones the team misses is good news.

For whatever reason, I find more on the middle east section than any other area of the forum I visit - no idea why, but Europe is a pretty close second. Asia gets a few, but not many.