How much money to send to GF and baby per month in Vietnam

Its your baby... be a responsible person and live up to your mistake ... accident or whatever you want to call it...

For me, the baby didn't make a choice, the baby didn't ask to be born, but since you are the father .. either live up to the responsibilities of raising the baby or abandon the baby now.

Sounds cruel ? Yes, better for everyone, for the baby for the mother to be and for you.

Why?
Very simple fact, you are debating and second guessing on what is the right thing to do and how much it cost...Sad, very sad.. tagging a value to the baby's future and well being.

For some of you gentlemen out there, don't peg a USD$ value to a relationship .... its demeaning to the women... treat them well.... with respect..

We are in Vietnam as foreigners, respect their culture, respect their values, respect their people... if you can't do that then why are you here?


Just my personal opinion.

chiwen Hwang wrote:

Its your baby... be a responsible person and live up to your mistake ... accident or whatever you want to call it...

For me, the baby didn't make a choice, the baby didn't ask to be born, but since you are the father .. either live up to the responsibilities of raising the baby or abandon the baby now.

Sounds cruel ? Yes, better for everyone, for the baby for the mother to be and for you.

Why?
Very simple fact, you are debating and second guessing on what is the right thing to do and how much it cost...Sad, very sad.. tagging a value to the baby's future and well being.

For some of you gentlemen out there, don't peg a USD$ value to a relationship .... its demeaning to the women... treat them well.... with respect..

We are in Vietnam as foreigners, respect their culture, respect their values, respect their people... if you can't do that then why are you here?


Just my personal opinion.

Wow this thread really does bring out the worst in some people. Please take this personally; there are many people on this site I hope I never meet, both both women and men, Vietnamese and expats. From my reading of the posts it seems that the money angle is a real axe to grind for so many people on here. While you are grinding your axe chiwen I know of many divorced Vietnamese women who don't get any support from their ex Vietnamese husbands.
This forum often has times when members meet up socially. Given the vitriol I have seen on this thread they must end up in mass punch ups.

Grrrrr,    Grrrrrrr

It's a good thing Yogi got himself castrated before he got here.

Smarter than the average Bear.  Huh.....

Punch on kiddies........Yogi's watching.        Yabba Dabba doooo.

Hi everyone;

LOL... I just feel personally that irregardless of nationality or situation, its the responsibilities that matters.

Just because some VN men are irresponsible doesn't mean "men" in general ...

You are mistaken in me"grinding the Axe".. I just feel that the replies are focused on  USD$ value for the well being of a baby in relation to the big "IF" of how much is enough for a VN mother.. wonder what happens when she is an American or Canadian mother to be..

Anyways, life's a bitch already, lets not make it worst..

LOL..
good day to all..

Chiwen

chiwen Hwang wrote:

Its your baby... be a responsible person and live up to your mistake ... accident or whatever you want to call it...

For me, the baby didn't make a choice, the baby didn't ask to be born, but since you are the father .. either live up to the responsibilities of raising the baby or abandon the baby now.

Sounds cruel ? Yes, better for everyone, for the baby for the mother to be and for you.

Why?
Very simple fact, you are debating and second guessing on what is the right thing to do and how much it cost...Sad, very sad.. tagging a value to the baby's future and well being.

For some of you gentlemen out there, don't peg a USD$ value to a relationship .... its demeaning to the women... treat them well.... with respect..

We are in Vietnam as foreigners, respect their culture, respect their values, respect their people... if you can't do that then why are you here?


Just my personal opinion.

You're scolding the original poster as if he were trying to shirk his parental responsibilities when he isn't; at least he wasn't the last time he struck his head in the door. 

He asked legitimate questions in the hope of finding guidance based on the experience of other expats, which was a very smart thing for him to do, in my opinion.

He got plenty of answers, of both the good and bad variety.  It's up to him to decide which is which, not you.

Hi Tony,
I think at the end of the day, you need to ask from the bottom of your heart.  If you eat noodle every night to provide her with $700 USD/monthly then that is excessive but if you can go to the bar and spent a few hundred dollars with your friend then $700 USD is nothing to you.  Maybe you need to find out if she is a good mother or not.  It is all come down to provide the best for your baby and the mother that take care your baby.  Hope this help....

Teacher Mark wrote:

chiwen Hwang wrote:

Its your baby... be a responsible person and live up to your mistake ... accident or whatever you want to call it...

For me, the baby didn't make a choice, the baby didn't ask to be born, but since you are the father .. either live up to the responsibilities of raising the baby or abandon the baby now.

Sounds cruel ? Yes, better for everyone, for the baby for the mother to be and for you.

Why?
Very simple fact, you are debating and second guessing on what is the right thing to do and how much it cost...Sad, very sad.. tagging a value to the baby's future and well being.

For some of you gentlemen out there, don't peg a USD$ value to a relationship .... its demeaning to the women... treat them well.... with respect..

We are in Vietnam as foreigners, respect their culture, respect their values, respect their people... if you can't do that then why are you here?


Just my personal opinion.

You're scolding the original poster as if he were trying to shirk his parental responsibilities when he isn't; at least he wasn't the last time he struck his head in the door. 

He asked legitimate questions in the hope of finding guidance based on the experience of other expats, which was a very smart thing for him to do, in my opinion.

He got plenty of answers, of both the good and bad variety.  It's up to him to decide which is which, not you.

Exactly.  He,s already decided to pay her rent for 1 year in advance, send her $700 a month to live on and intends having her and the child join him in Canada. And yet it seems not enough for some of the females posting here, who go on to bad mouth him.

Reading this reply was like riding a roller coaster.  I'm way up high on the roller coaster as I read about the self-reliance and determination on the writer's part, then at a low when I read the part about the attempts to end life, then back up again with the last line about asking strangers prior to discussing privately.  As with everything in life, a person's situation dictates what the proper procedures should be to survive.  I apologize for going off topic, but I couldn't help but respond to this.

Hi everybody,

Can we please calm down here? It is not helpful if everyone starts brawling !! 

We are only here to help the initiator to find some information on how much money he should send to his girlfriend and his  baby per month in Vietnam and nothing else !

P.S Also note that if there are other off topic posts in the future, they will be removed.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Priscilla

I have same situation sending $100 per week. She lives with her mother so no rent is involved.  The money covers the cost of her two daughters and mother.  Moving to Saigon in fall rent, food and the family will be $1200 per month. I might buy a property and have a home based business.  Hope that helps?

That is your baby and your gf. A little bit generous doesnt waste anything of yours. For an averaged living standard, I would say 10mil. But to buy stuffs and hire a mate, 14 mil is good for both.

HaChi Dang wrote:

That is your baby and your gf. A little bit generous doesnt waste anything of yours. For an averaged living standard, I would say 10mil. But to buy stuffs and hire a mate, 14 mil is good for both.

An average living standard where?  Chau Doc or District 1 HCMC?

I have a 2 years old niece living in Binh Thanh district so I don't how much to raise a baby. It depends on the budget, if the parent is generous spending money to buy good food, toys, clothes, diapers, fomular, mate so 10 mil/ month is just enough. A full time mate is 6 million/ month. Im talking from the view of a foreigner and his offshoring, I dont mention about averaged Vietnamese factory workers's income. Please standing in different sides to look at things.

You should not ask other people, you should ask yourselves how much you want to send and how much you care about the lifestyle that both should live.  You know best of your circumstances.  I am amazed at how many people here thinking 14 million Vietnam dong is generous.  Generous in what aspect??? Just living expense??? how about the cost of education???  Actually I think it is a cheap price for you keeping a Vietnamese girl friend and your kid.  You SHOULD know.

Fish323,
How do you know a lot of divorced Vietnamese men did not support their wives and children?  You made them up if you cannot provide the source.  That is a bunch of craps!!!

It's your family, you're child, money should not be a object. Family does not have a price...

@scarievn , trying to kill yourself doesn't seem like you are doing your child any favours .

mygirl8695 wrote:

You should not ask other people, you should ask yourselves how much you want to send and how much you care about the lifestyle that both should live.  You know best of your circumstances.  I am amazed at how many people here thinking 14 million Vietnam dong is generous.  Generous in what aspect??? Just living expense??? how about the cost of education???  Actually I think it is a cheap price for you keeping a Vietnamese girl friend and your kid.  You SHOULD know.

You,re too late to the party.  It,s over.   He decided what to do last June. Why don,t you read post #18 and you can read what he decided to do. If she,s going to get $700 a month plus the $250 a month she earns part time and not have to worry about rent for 12months, I think her life in NHA TRANG will be quite ok. Maybe young, well educated english speaking Vietnamese women who have good jobs and earn good salaries  living a very different life style to those outside Ho Chi Minh City where the cost of living is much cheaper should realise that  Vietnam extends  further than District 1  Here is an idea of basic costs:- Retire in Nha Trang on $840 Per month




Costs

Price per month


Accommodation

               US$ 400-US$500


Power

US$   40


Water

US$     5


Internet

US$     7


Gas bottle

US$     5


TV cable

US$     3


Motor bike rental, fuel

US$   70


Visa extention

US$   30


Food

US$ 250


Housekeeper (Once per week)

                                    US$   10


Total    US$800   Less $500 accommodation which is already paid in advance for 1 year = $300.   The girlfriend / wife to be will have $950 per month so she will not be struggling at all.

The very first thing I would be doing , is having a DNA test .I have see countless foreigners deceived in to paying for a child that is not theirs . If the child is yours then I admire your sense of responsibility

Happy8888 wrote:

The very first thing I would be doing , is having a DNA test .I have see countless foreigners deceived in to paying for a child that is not theirs . If the child is yours then I admire your sense of responsibility

He covered that in post #18

mss.vicky wrote:

I agree with you. Well, almost guys here in this topic are male, they never take care their kids enough to realize that raising a baby is very diffucult. Well, what if your wives give you - these gentle men 3 millions per month to stay at home only and raise your kids? 3millions vnd is even not enough for you guys have a good night at bars so why you guys ask us to accept it? You guys think we are vietnamese and of course we have a low level compare to yours so that s certainly?

These guys live in mountain and forest. They are so mean and penny. Bad luck for their wives.

Your gf and your baby, they need you, but not your money. So any money isnot enough for them.