Need some advice about moroccan marriage system

Shazza26 wrote:

Hi I am British pakistan female married to a British pakistani man.. I need some advice as I suspect my husband has got married illegally to a morrocon women but he cannot start any legal proceeding if he has because he is already registered married in the uk and we are still together. I suspect because I know and he has admitted of his affair in the past but said he has finished his affair long time I go but I do not trust him.
once he said he can get married doesn't need to be legally but anyways he knows he has too much to lose and will never try to bring this women over as I would leave him and he cannot bring anyone as I know the morrocon system is not that simple but can they can get married in Morroco with just the imam at the mosque without legally submitting or registering would a imam there do this I don't know how the Islamic law is also on these website don't declare ppl that are already married in the uk but just want to get married to a foreigner for pathetic reason or just having someone abroad for pleasure. I know this must sound very bad and who ever reads this must be thinking why am I even bothering with him but things are not as simple as they sound a lot of ppl are involved in a muslim marridge situation s are complicated plus my husband and I are very happy he is good to me but he is a man who's made mistakes and has had a hard life I am not supporting him and he knows I will never ever support him if he has done this but I cannot leave him under suspicious pls help me

I believe Morocco has tightened the process and made it a lot more stricter than before. As it was abused. People would come to "marry", but the reality is they were sex tourists, "halalizing" their sins. Like a mut'ah marriage basically. Now you require a "certificate of non-impediment" from the UK. If your marriage is registered and known by the British Authorities, then if he was to obtain that certificate to take to Morocco to get married, his marital status would be "married", and he would not be able to get married in Morocco. However, many British-Muslim marriages are actually not registered at the registry office, as they were simply carried out by an Imam at the Mosque, and as such, the authorities are not aware of it, and therefore, the certificate will have "single", or whatever his status was before the Nikkah.

This has been a problem for a few people I've spoken to, as their partners were able to legally marry abroad, and even bring their partners over, without coming to the attention of the marriage office, as their Islamic marriage isn't registered with them. They were even able to register their marriage in the UK, without problems (not facing accusations of polygamy). You can try contacting the Moroccan Consulate, and hopefully they can find out whether your husband has gotten married in Morocco or not. Or at least direct you to the right people to contact. I don't believe he would be able to use a different name to get married under. As I think his passport is required, or appropriate I.D, as proof of his identity.

I know in certain Arab countries, such as Egypt, you can get a "urfi" marriage, which the state authorities won't be aware of, as it's not registered, and relatively easy to obtain. But I haven't heard of that in Morocco.

Thank you brother ! For taking time to answer my question yes we have had a nikkah done by a imam and official civil registration of marridge in the uk so he would not be able to have a certificate of impediment or whatever other form of ID u need to convert a adultery in halal these forgeign muslim men deserve Islamic laws like this so they do not abuse other Islamic country laws and I know there are a lot of women in Morroco who are dependent on forgeiners earning by expoiliting their dignity and pride but they should not use that as excuse to ruin other ppl marriages and disrespect their religion there are many muslims in poor country and especially Islamic country's but in marrekech surely the women are modern understanding and educated because the women that my husband was involved with very westernise looked middle class but using her poor profession in luring men the worst thing is families in Morroco support their daughters and sons in doin such disgusting acts and men from other countries having no shame or respect for their religion and women by visiting and keeping sex partners to make it legit or refrain from committing zina they want to get married. I know some ppl are genuine that go from other countries and meet single women and men so I am not referring this to all morrocons or other citizens but I am a women who's educated I too have a daughter other women should realise they are someone daughters and they too might have a daughter so they should not ruin anyone's marridge on purpose for their own selfish motives because allahswt watches everyone and see everything you sins will be counted for when u die and what goes around comes around.

Shazza26 wrote:

Thank you brother ! For taking time to answer my question yes we have had a nikkah done by a imam and official civil registration of marridge in the uk so he would not be able to have a certificate of impediment or whatever other form of ID u need to convert a adultery in halal these forgeign muslim men deserve Islamic laws like this so they do not abuse other Islamic country laws and I know there are a lot of women in Morroco who are dependent on forgeiners earning by expoiliting their dignity and pride but they should not use that as excuse to ruin other ppl marriages and disrespect their religion there are many muslims in poor country and especially Islamic country's but in marrekech surely the women are modern understanding and educated because the women that my husband was involved with very westernise looked middle class but using her poor profession in luring men the worst thing is families in Morroco support their daughters and sons in doin such disgusting acts and men from other countries having no shame or respect for their religion and women by visiting and keeping sex partners to make it legit or refrain from committing zina they want to get married. I know some ppl are genuine that go from other countries and meet single women and men so I am not referring this to all morrocons or other citizens but I am a women who's educated I too have a daughter other women should realise they are someone daughters and they too might have a daughter so they should not ruin anyone's marridge on purpose for their own selfish motives because allahswt watches everyone and see everything you sins will be counted for when u die and what goes around comes around.

Yes indeed, I've heard similar and 'worse' stories so many times. I mean, me & Laduqesa (a member of this site) have spoken time and time again about these issues, but all we've gotten was constant abuse & getting banned because of members incapable of handling reality. And here you are, proving to us that it's indeed a real problem that exists, that there are innocent victims left to suffer, so our efforts were worthwhile, and people shouldn't sweep it under the carpet, but address it. Needless to say, the foreigners are part of the problem. They should know better. Anyway, contact the Consulate and try to find out whether he has gotten married or not.

Thank you for replying back to me I understand what you are saying reality is hard to accept and the truth is even harder I accept the truth abt my husband and the reality but us muslims women do not have it that easy to get up and walk or even get away with what muslim men can which is wrong but yes indeed it happens.. I agree with everything you say and ppl should agree and accept the truth abt morrocons and forgeigners two wrongs dnt make a right and all 5 fingers are not equal either therefore men women cannot be compared and other ppl from different nationalities cannot be the same it takes two to tango so it's always both parties men are equally to blame jus as women and women are not such victims either that's a fact not a opinion ive seen it with my own eyes. No matter how hard ur life is and what you've been through ur principal morals and dignity shouldn't change. By destroying others life one can never ever stay happy
Can I ask what is consulate?  how can I get in touch? Thank you again

Shazza26 wrote:

Thank you for replying back to me I understand what you are saying reality is hard to accept and the truth is even harder I accept the truth abt my husband and the reality but us muslims women do not have it that easy to get up and walk or even get away with what muslim men can which is wrong but yes indeed it happens.. I agree with everything you say and ppl should agree and accept the truth abt morrocons and forgeigners two wrongs dnt make a right and all 5 fingers are not equal either therefore men women cannot be compared and other ppl from different nationalities cannot be the same it takes two to tango so it's always both parties men are equally to blame jus as women and women are not such victims either that's a fact not a opinion ive seen it with my own eyes. No matter how hard ur life is and what you've been through ur principal morals and dignity shouldn't change. By destroying others life one can never ever stay happy
Can I ask what is consulate?  how can I get in touch? Thank you again

Morning,

The foreigner is far more to blame. No one forced them to accept that Skype add, Facebook request, or wherever Online they found them, or came across them on holiday. It's common sense to take great care when you meet people online or while travelling. That's the kind of advice given to kids! And parents are told to watch for what their kids do online. To check who they speak to. So I would expect mature, responsible adults not to be naive, foolish enough, to get into a relationship with a complete stranger they don't know anything about. Just like their are people out there that want to harm kids, and start by interacting with them on websites, there are likewise, scammers, fraudsters, who are targeting people from the West, and getting them to send money, and do them other favours. There is no excuse for a foreigner to get duped. They really should know better. Especially as there are plenty of information out there that warns them of this sort of thing, if they bothered to do a simple google search. If they lack common sense, it's not the fault of the fraudster. Your husband, and other foreigners, are entirely to blame, if they are willing to allow themselves to be exploited. I receive e-mails of questionable nature. If I fall for it, it's my fault, rather than the fault of the person sending the e-mail. Why would someone want to give me a large sum of money when they don't know me, in return for a small fee? So I ignore it. Likewise, why would someone love someone they don't know anything about and never lived with? Obviously they don't. That's the sort of thing some of these foreigners fall for. Believe they are 'loved', and what have you. I would say, they need to grow up!

The Consulate deals with issues of visa, passport, marriage, identity cards, and other things:

THE CONSULATE GENERAL OF THE KINGDOM OF MOROCCO

DIAMOND HOUSE 97/99 PRAED STREET, PADDINGTON
LONDON
W2 1NT

TEL: 0044 207 724 0624
FAX: 0044 207 706 7407

E-MAIL: [email protected]

OPENING HOURS:
Monday - Friday 09am - 2.00pm

Thank for the information will try and contact them.. Will there be any point as I am already registered married in the uk and so is he.. Also he didn't meet her thought internet he went out with friends as a holiday and met this Prostituate and started to have a illiget affair this women has already got a daughter as well I really don't know what he had got himself involved in I know her name address in marrekech she seems to know everything just so worried that I end up finding out the whole truth in 10 yrs time or something before it s too late I want a normal honest healthy relationship for me n my children not with a man who is involved with women like that and is getting married to them for his own selfish reason

Shazza26 wrote:

Thank for the information will try and contact them.. Will there be any point as I am already registered married in the uk and so is he.. Also he didn't meet her thought internet he went out with friends as a holiday and met this Prostituate and started to have a illiget affair this women has already got a daughter as well I really don't know what he had got himself involved in I know her name address in marrekech she seems to know everything just so worried that I end up finding out the whole truth in 10 yrs time or something before it s too late I want a normal honest healthy relationship for me n my children not with a man who is involved with women like that and is getting married to them for his own selfish reason

Hi,

Yeah, that's why I mentioned "or came across them on holiday". As it's usually that or Online.

Yes of course there will be a point. Because he shouldn't be able to get married in Morocco, while still legally married to you. So it's an issue they will hopefully investigate or pass to you details of the authorities responsible for it. They can be the starting point for you, in your quest to find out the answer to something that's obviously a matter of urgency. I don't know if you live in London or not, but if you do, just pop-in, and explain your situation. Just don't mention "prostitute" or anything about that, as they probably won't be very keen to hear about it. Just tell them you're married, and your husband has gone behind your back to get married in Morocco - whether that has indeed taken place already or not. And if not, how to report him to the relevant Moroccan authorities, to make them aware that he's married, and does not have your permission to have a second wife. You can also contact the British Embassy in Morocco, and inform them. As well as UK Border Agency, just in case he attempts to make a visa for her. Also your MP, as he/she can speak to Immigration/Home Office directly, so a note is placed on their system, if he tries to bring her here (while still married to you). I don't know if you can divorce someone without them being made aware of it. You might want to check if your marriage is still registered with the British authorities, and that nothing has changed. Otherwise he can obtain a certificate of non-impediment and get hitched without a problem. All in all, it's important you take action, the sooner, the better.

Thank am so stressed honestly so fed up have so many issues to deal with coz of him.. I didn't even think that far that I could do this to find out I know am definantly registered I havent signed no legal document for divorce and he hasn't got the courage to go that far I know that for a fact.. As this is his 2nd marriage and this time he won't have a leg to stand on its his own choice plus asian pride n their community means a lot to him..but I don't want the morrocon authorities or the British immigration to take things far if he has not got married therefore do not want him to find out basically and my suspicious to be wrong end up breaking my mArridge his trust for me over nothing as long as he does not find out it was me. Would they keep everything I tell them
In confidential? And protect my identity and my dignity? Or basically do not want him to get into trouble coz of me for any other issue that's what am thinking.

Shazza26 wrote:

Thank am so stressed honestly so fed up have so many issues to deal with coz of him.. I didn't even think that far that I could do this to find out I know am definantly registered I havent signed no legal document for divorce and he hasn't got the courage to go that far I know that for a fact.. As this is his 2nd marriage and this time he won't have a leg to stand on its his own choice plus asian pride n their community means a lot to him..but I don't want the morrocon authorities or the British immigration to take things far if he has not got married therefore do not want him to find out basically and my suspicious to be wrong end up breaking my mArridge his trust for me over nothing as long as he does not find out it was me. Would they keep everything I tell them
In confidential? And protect my identity and my dignity? Or basically do not want him to get into trouble coz of me for any other issue that's what am thinking.

Hi,

These types of reports are always strictly confidential (which you can confirm with them beforehand), protecting the identity of the one submitting it. They don't actually go after the person at all. The information is simply helpful, only when it comes to a decision regarding giving him a visa or marriage certificate etc. Then they can use the information that you provided. It's like reporting someone for benefit fraud. They are not going to go out & knock on your door and say Shazza reported you for fraud. They will simply use the report to assist them in their investigations. That's all. It just helps in that process. So if he does attempt to get married there or bring her here, they would be able to see that he's already married. He won't be getting into trouble until he does something against the law. When he's in Morocco, they won't be hounding him.

Well if he had any Asian pride, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. Quite a number of Asians are travelling to Morocco to get into a relationship with an "Arab", using Morocco as an alternative destination, due to the difficulties they will encounter if they try it in the Middle-East/Gulf, which will nearly always end up in rejection. Since they are 'accepted' in Morocco, that's why it's becoming quite a popular choice of destination for marriage among some Asians, even married ones! I think it's because of an inferiority-complex. They get treated horribly in the Gulf, and going to Morocco compensates for it. That's my opinion, before someone comes along and says you're chatting shit. Lol.

You are so damn right!! Asians get treated low cast in other countries especially Saudia arabia and Morroco is defiantly the low African arab country that these Asians men can get close to associating with pretty arab women to them no matter what they do or what they are as long as they are a Arabian origin just so pathetic. To boost abt their poor credit achievement around their families and friends and his mentioned how forgeigner of any ethnic origin gets treated like royality in Morroco especially by their ladies families.

My husband is a fool am sure his spent so much money but doesn't admit it not bothered as if am gonna pay him or pay towards any of his cost his in debt thank to the poor morrocons council estate version of arabs lol sorry don't mean to offend anyone but it's true and I don't mind what ever criticism anyone gives regards to Asians. The truth is the truth and truth always hurts..

Thank u so much for ur help I have written them a email already jus briefly explaining if I could speak to them over the phone and to make sure my information remains private and confidential. I just want Justice for my self and my children I have bent over backwards to make this marridge work and am so dissapointed he has to steep this low all his given me is lies decite betrayal not to mention accepting and doing everything for his family this is how he rewards me we had a love marridge I am a educated respected good looking women who has prospects in life and a good job just such a shame allah swt gives ppl everything and they are still not happy so ungrateful and go for filthy disrespected desperate dishonoured women with no value nothing I just think men deserve women like that if that's what they are happy that's their match not women with status and respect jus in favour of being a "arab" fake beauty values and customs.

His hurt me so so much I've been through a lot I was such a happy bubbly person had such a good life at my parents home till I married my husband hope he is married so when he gets treated like crap and she leaves him for a another rich forgeigner then he will know how it feels like to hurt another women who's is somone s daughter and sister as his hasn't got no sister of his own over a morrocon whore with cheap valgur make up.

Shazza26 wrote:

he went out with friends as a holiday and met this Prostituate and started to have a illiget affair this women has already got a daughter as well

Hello Shazza. I do sympathise with you a great deal. As xb23 has mentioned, there are many Moroccans who ensnare foreigners for their own benefit simply to get themselves to the West and what they imagine to be a better life. The failure rate of such marriages is catastrophic, yet there is no way anyone can warn the Western partner of their stupidity or naivety, indeed, worse, they appear on forums like this one to encourage others to commit their mistake.

This is a very difficult thing to say to a devout Muslim woman, or, indeed, any woman, but I must strongly urge you to visit the STD clinic at your local hospital in view of what you said about this Moroccan hussy. Your GP would not be informed and you can be seen/treated anonymously if you wish, by insisting on being known by a number. You can demand female doctors and nurses and some clinics separate the appointment times, so that women are seen at certain hours and men at others. It does not have to be the clinic at your local hospital either, you can go to one anywhere and the treatment is the same and free and confidential.

Shazza26 wrote:

You are so damn right!! Asians get treated low cast in other countries especially Saudia arabia and Morroco is defiantly the low African arab country that these Asians men can get close to associating with pretty arab women to them no matter what they do or what they are as long as they are a Arabian origin just so pathetic. To boost abt their poor credit achievement around their families and friends and his mentioned how forgeigner of any ethnic origin gets treated like royality in Morroco especially by their ladies families.

My husband is a fool am sure his spent so much money but doesn't admit it not bothered as if am gonna pay him or pay towards any of his cost his in debt thank to the poor morrocons council estate version of arabs lol sorry don't mean to offend anyone but it's true and I don't mind what ever criticism anyone gives regards to Asians. The truth is the truth and truth always hurts..

I think the excitement of marrying an 'Arab' gets the better of them, and clouds their judgement. In countries like Saudi Arabia, you will find this nationality, at times gets accused of "sihr" - Black-magic. They've generally got a bad reputation in the Middle-East/Gulf region, tend not to be trusted, as well as other parts of Europe, such as Holland, where they get blamed for all sorts of ills. I think there was even a ban on Umra visa's for women of a certain age. None of this is my opinion. It's facts that can be verified by a simple search. So I really don't understand why they are desperate & rushing to go there to get married. If only they understood Arabic, they will think twice.

Shazza26 wrote:

Thank u so much for ur help I have written them a email already jus briefly explaining if I could speak to them over the phone and to make sure my information remains private and confidential. I just want Justice for my self and my children I have bent over backwards to make this marridge work and am so dissapointed he has to steep this low all his given me is lies decite betrayal not to mention accepting and doing everything for his family this is how he rewards me we had a love marridge I am a educated respected good looking women who has prospects in life and a good job just such a shame allah swt gives ppl everything and they are still not happy so ungrateful and go for filthy disrespected desperate dishonoured women with no value nothing I just think men deserve women like that if that's what they are happy that's their match not women with status and respect jus in favour of being a "arab" fake beauty values and customs.

His hurt me so so much I've been through a lot I was such a happy bubbly person had such a good life at my parents home till I married my husband hope he is married so when he gets treated like crap and she leaves him for a another rich forgeigner then he will know how it feels like to hurt another women who's is somone s daughter and sister as his hasn't got no sister of his own over a morrocon whore with cheap valgur make up.

Sadly this is a regular occurrence. It's happening all the time. People flying there, leaving family behind to pick up the pieces. There isn't anything that I or anyone else can say, that will improve the situation. Apart from being patient, and hoping that nothing goes on there, and things return back to normal.

U know what they say what's meant to be will happen so am not worried what ever allah swt has written for me I am willing to accept it but I do hope he hasnt for his own mine n our children sake it will be such devastating news for all of us and our families. Thank u for all ur help n advice very much appreciated

Shazza26 wrote:

U know what they say what's meant to be will happen so am not worried what ever allah swt has written for me I am willing to accept it but I do hope he hasnt for his own mine n our children sake it will be such devastating news for all of us and our families. Thank u for all ur help n advice very much appreciated

You're welcome.

It's regretfully 'too late' for any of us to help. We (me & Laduqesa) usually advise people before they embark on going abroad to marry someone they met online or while on holiday. If your husband was posting on here, we would of tried our best to stop him on his tracks. Unfortunately he's already traveled there, and up to no good. We've been banned several times for advising people, and I'm actually, although it's an upsetting story no doubt, happy that you posted on here, as it goes to show, that it IS indeed a real problem that exists (that some people prefer to pretend it doesn't happen), so we were correct in talking about it, and warning others from potentially leading themselves (and their families) to disaster. We've had people call us 'negative', 'miserable' and all sorts of stuff. But look at your situation. Kids potentially growing up without a father. Stories like this upsets us greatly, and that's why we make the effort to speak about it, no matter how many times we get banned, and abused. We know we are doing the right thing, and your story, and many countless others proves that.

Do what I've said in regards to letting the relevant authorities know that he's already married, including speaking to the Consulate. They are open weekdays, 9-2pm. I don't think there is anything such as secretly marrying in Morocco, so if he ruins himself by getting married, it will be recorded, and I suppose you should be able to obtain that information, being his wife. So it's important you alert everyone you can, and go about finding out if he has or hasn't gotten hitched. That's the only thing you can do at the moment. We wish we can help you further, but sadly it's you who is posting here, not him. Otherwise we would of given him frank advice, which he clearly needs.

I don't know why ppl waste their time n money goin to forgien countries like Morroco they obviously just want a visa.. Like my husband said to me over a yr ago to me that u don't know how it's like for women back their do u think they like sleeping with other men it's a hard life for them u have it easy.. by marrying them n saving their lives what's wrong in that in Islam.. I jus couldn't believe IT he was sayin all that to me told him to divorce me n marry the poor whore n save other women lives too he said she doesn't want to come to the uk jus wants to get married I couldn't stop laughing told him his stupid? Do u know what it means by marrying somone it was like he was possessed by her he jus seemed lost.
I heard they do black Magic as well but this idiot wouldn't believe nothin he jus didn't listen to me or anyone else so I don't know if he ever will unless he learns the hard way I want him to learn the hard way.

Shazza26 wrote:

I don't know why ppl waste their time n money goin to forgien countries like Morroco they obviously just want a visa.. Like my husband said to me over a yr ago to me that u don't know how it's like for women back their do u think they like sleeping with other men it's a hard life for them u have it easy.. by marrying them n saving their lives what's wrong in that in Islam.. I jus couldn't believe IT he was sayin all that to me told him to divorce me n marry the poor whore n save other women lives too he said she doesn't want to come to the uk jus wants to get married I couldn't stop laughing told him his stupid? Do u know what it means by marrying somone it was like he was possessed by her he jus seemed lost.
I heard they do black Magic as well but this idiot wouldn't believe nothin he jus didn't listen to me or anyone else so I don't know if he ever will unless he learns the hard way I want him to learn the hard way.

Utter, utter, and utter bollocks. I haven't heard such rubbish, and lame attempts to make an excuse for his dreadful, shameful, disgusting behavior. To make matters worse, tries to say it's all done in the name of religion? Give me a break.

I don't know what Asian country he is from, but I'm assuming Pakistan. Regardless of whether it's Pakistan or India, there is FAR more poverty there. So by his logic, why doesn't he go to his very own country to "save" his own people first, the many poor desperate women, who desire to get married? Rather than a foreign country? Bet he couldn't give an honest answer to that to save his life. We all know why he chose Morocco specifically, while ignoring all those poverty stricken Muslim countries south of the border and beyond. Because they are not of the right ethnicity, aren't I right, Mister. I've heard the same thing being said about Syria. To go and 'save' them because of their situation. Sub-Saharan African countries have had bloodshed for years. They are not interested in 'saving' them. I wonder why eh. Instead of putting his hands up, and accepting he's in the wrong, tries to convince you he's on a religious mission, as if you were born this year. You're very patient I must say. I don't put up with drivel very well. It's not on with me.

Yeah I know! That's exactly what I said to him if your so concerned about saving lives and earning rewards then u should have chosen pakistan and these bare girls in your family why chose Morroco only coz they are arabs ethnic.

I have to be patient coz I have a special need little boy he was born with a lot of complications. Allhumdulliah he is a lot better but requires medical attention he is a very precious gift to me and my husband loves his dad dearly my heart breaks to see him separted from his father. Also I am in the medical profession so therefore that helps me and my son in understanding and dealing with all his complex needs.

Thank you for all your advice very much appreciated I know everything I am just patient because of my children and for the love of Allah swt I have a lot of pride and dignity it means a lot to me it's easy to walk out of ur marridge but hard to maintain and accomplish a difficult marridge as a muslim being married completes at least more than half of your religion so I hope u understand where I am coming from I am not in this relationship to tolerate any type of abuse verbally or physically or because I am weak but because I am strong and love my children and my religion I shall see where my life and my destiny leaves me all I know I am honest truthful and have a clean conscious so I have nothing to worry about I will fight whatever battle I have upcoming with or with out my husband. Jazak allah

Shazza26 wrote:

Yeah I know! That's exactly what I said to him if your so concerned about saving lives and earning rewards then u should have chosen pakistan and these bare girls in your family why chose Morroco only coz they are arabs ethnic.

I have to be patient coz I have a special need little boy he was born with a lot of complications. Allhumdulliah he is a lot better but requires medical attention he is a very precious gift to me and my husband loves his dad dearly my heart breaks to see him separted from his father. Also I am in the medical profession so therefore that helps me and my son in understanding and dealing with all his complex needs.

Thank you for all your advice very much appreciated I know everything I am just patient because of my children and for the love of Allah swt I have a lot of pride and dignity it means a lot to me it's easy to walk out of ur marridge but hard to maintain and accomplish a difficult marridge as a muslim being married completes at least more than half of your religion so I hope u understand where I am coming from I am not in this relationship to tolerate any type of abuse verbally or physically or because I am weak but because I am strong and love my children and my religion I shall see where my life and my destiny leaves me all I know I am honest truthful and have a clean conscious so I have nothing to worry about I will fight whatever battle I have upcoming with or with out my husband. Jazak allah

Wa Jazak.

Well first I must say MaSha'Allah, for being part of a profession, that I hold with great esteem.

We are not here to judge you, or your relationship. We are not questioning why you've chosen to remain. That is something entirely personal, and none of our business. Although you explained your reasons, you didn't have to! I'm glad your son is getting better. And may that continue.

I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors, I'm sure you will succeed!

Thank you! good luck to u too hope u all the best in life.

Please stop the religious invocations!. It is not welcome here. (Moderated: no need to be rude here)

laduqesa wrote:

Please stop the religious invocations!

Would you want me to preface every post with "In praise of god the father and his holy representative in Rome"? And then conclude with "Thanks be to Jesus, Mary and Joseph"? Of course you wouldn't. It would be utterly ridiculous mumbo-jumbo. And so are these Arabic mumbo-jumbo phrases. Keep your religion to yourselves. It is not welcome here.

You haven't tried it. So you wouldn't know. You shouldn't assume. And if you do try it, you will find no-one will actually care, and ask you to refrain from doing so. Muslims willingly move to the Western world, and even attend Catholic Schools, as I did. We wouldn't do that if we found their beliefs "utterly ridiculous" and "mumbo-jumbo".

And "Alhamdulilah", "MaSha'Allah", "InSha'Allah", are all used by Christian, Jewish, and other Arabic speakers. As well as apathetic Muslims. It's not necessarily religious at all. Just like when someone says - "Thank God nobody was hurt!". Or "God willing, I hope to see you sometime in the future!". Hardly to do with religion, and you wouldn't ask them to keep their religion to themselves, and stop that. Only when it's said in Arabic, and not another language, suddenly it's "religious", and a problem? It shouldn't be. Certainly for someone who lives in a country where they hear it on a daily basis. I suppose you wear ear-plugs, to avoid all the "mumbo-jumbo" around you, from doing your head in over there. I find it just as strange as a Muslim, not being able to tolerate the religion of the natives, yet happily continuing to live here. Anyone would think, and they have as a matter of fact, why don't they return home if they find it so offensive? I've said it myself, to any Muslim complaining about life here. If they don't like it, they know what to do. I would say the same to anyone living abroad, and finding the beliefs and/or language of the people, distasteful.

I never meant to offend anyone! I feel a bit disappointed that u actually feel this way anyway s don't worry I won't be making no comments or any comment s in near future what ever happened to freedom of speech

We seem to be wandering off topic here.
Please refrain from postings regarding religion.

If posts continue to be off topic admin are likely to close this thread.

Thank you.

Lets not make a scene.. a needless fuss over nothing.

Hello all

> Shazza26 : Kindly note that a new thread has been created as from your post and responses received since the thread on which you participated before was meant only for exchange of information concerning formalities for marriage in Morocco.

Regards
Kenjee
Expat.com Team

Shazza26 wrote:

You are so damn right!! Asians get treated low cast in other countries especially Saudia arabia and Morroco is defiantly the low African arab country that these Asians men can get close to associating with pretty arab women to them no matter what they do or what they are as long as they are a Arabian origin just so pathetic. To boost abt their poor credit achievement around their families and friends and his mentioned how forgeigner of any ethnic origin gets treated like royality in Morroco especially by their ladies families.

My husband is a fool am sure his spent so much money but doesn't admit it not bothered as if am gonna pay him or pay towards any of his cost his in debt thank to the poor morrocons council estate version of arabs lol sorry don't mean to offend anyone but it's true and I don't mind what ever criticism anyone gives regards to Asians. The truth is the truth and truth always hurts..

Thank u so much for ur help I have written them a email already jus briefly explaining if I could speak to them over the phone and to make sure my information remains private and confidential. I just want Justice for my self and my children I have bent over backwards to make this marridge work and am so dissapointed he has to steep this low all his given me is lies decite betrayal not to mention accepting and doing everything for his family this is how he rewards me we had a love marridge I am a educated respected good looking women who has prospects in life and a good job just such a shame allah swt gives ppl everything and they are still not happy so ungrateful and go for filthy disrespected desperate dishonoured women with no value nothing I just think men deserve women like that if that's what they are happy that's their match not women with status and respect jus in favour of being a "arab" fake beauty values and customs.

His hurt me so so much I've been through a lot I was such a happy bubbly person had such a good life at my parents home till I married my husband hope he is married so when he gets treated like crap and she leaves him for a another rich forgeigner then he will know how it feels like to hurt another women who's is somone s daughter and sister as his hasn't got no sister of his own over a morrocon whore with cheap valgur make up.

Sister you should speak to your husband - it sounds like most of what you say is based on suspicion so probably best to talk to your husband before speaking to authorities. I appreciate you must be upset. Even some of the Prophets wives got jealous of co-wives but it is a man's right to have up to four wives if he treats them equally. Be patient because you have a daughter.

She's already obviously spoken to him, and he's tried to convince her what he's up to is acceptable, when it's clearly not. No woman should accept it, especially if she has children with him. He has left her with little to no option but to seek answers online, and contact the relevant authorities to confirm whether he has or has not, gotten married. It sounds like you're defending his actions. No, she should not, and never be patient for such antics! She needs to act. And start by contacting everyone she can! Life is too short to put up with such nonsense!

XB23 wrote:

She's already obviously spoken to him, and he's tried to convince her what he's up to is acceptable, when it's clearly not. No woman should accept it, especially if she has children with him. He has left her with little to no option but to seek answers online, and contact the relevant authorities to confirm whether he has or has not, gotten married. It sounds like you're defending his actions. No, she should not, and never be patient for such antics! She needs to act. And start by contacting everyone she can! Life is too short to put up with such nonsense!

I was just thinking she shouldn't burn bridges with him because her daughter only has one father and that's him. If he is right or wrong that is not for me to judge. If he has made a mistake then, if but for the daughters sake, allow him to recover from it. For no want of setting off laduqesa, the sister should first be patient, do istafa, increase her sadaqa and salat. He cant get legally married in morocco without either a) notice of impediment or b) approval of the sister (his wife) for co-wife. Like in this country he can do niqah without the governing authorities being involved.

Once when I was experiencing a calamity a brother said to me 'be patient, or don't be patient the outcome is the same'

So the brother cant bring his new wife to the uk and is very likely to return to his uk family and work. Surely its not the end of the world if he has a second wife in Morocco which he will probably only see for holidays. It does sound like he let is uk wife know that was his plans - just because she doesn't like it, it doesn't make it wrong

Goldkhalifa wrote:

XB23 wrote:

She's already obviously spoken to him, and he's tried to convince her what he's up to is acceptable, when it's clearly not. No woman should accept it, especially if she has children with him. He has left her with little to no option but to seek answers online, and contact the relevant authorities to confirm whether he has or has not, gotten married. It sounds like you're defending his actions. No, she should not, and never be patient for such antics! She needs to act. And start by contacting everyone she can! Life is too short to put up with such nonsense!

I was just thinking she shouldn't burn bridges with him because her daughter only has one father and that's him. If he is right or wrong that is not for me to judge. If he has made a mistake then, if but for the daughters sake, allow him to recover from it. For no want of setting off laduqesa, the sister should first be patient, do istafa, increase her sadaqa and salat. He cant get legally married in morocco without either a) notice of impediment or b) approval of the sister (his wife) for co-wife. Like in this country he can do niqah without the governing authorities being involved.

Once when I was experiencing a calamity a brother said to me 'be patient, or don't be patient the outcome is the same'

So the brother cant bring his new wife to the uk and is very likely to return to his uk family and work. Surely its not the end of the world if he has a second wife in Morocco which he will probably only see for holidays. It does sound like he let is uk wife know that was his plans - just because she doesn't like it, it doesn't make it wrong

I've already advised her that he won't be able to get married in Morocco. She is suspicious, and that's obviously causing a lot of discomfort, and putting a strain on the marriage. Hence my reason for telling her to contact everyone she can, in order to rid herself of suspicions, by verifying he hasn't got married in Morocco, and to make it hard for him to do so, by notifying both British/Moroccan authorities. He won't be aware of any of this. In the event he does try to get married without her knowledge, the reports will hopefully lessen the chance of him succeeding. It's all about saving the relationship, and making it difficult for him to ruin his family by his wrong, selfish actions.

Goldkhalifa wrote:

So the brother cant bring his new wife to the uk and is very likely to return to his uk family and work. Surely its not the end of the world if he has a second wife in Morocco which he will probably only see for holidays. It does sound like he let is uk wife know that was his plans - just because she doesn't like it, it doesn't make it wrong

I just find this utterly surreal, indeed, utterly vile and disgusting.

As far as I can see, he needs her agreement to take this Moroccan prostitute as his second wife. He is not going to get it. Yet GoldKhalifa, a supposedly faithful Muslim, albeit a salafist, says, in effect, well hard Cheddar, if he does it he'll only be having sex with her on holiday and that the original wife just has to put up with it, it's not wrong.

Anything more filthy and loathsome and more calculated to give ammunition to the enemies of Islam would be hard to imagine. If this is the true, accepted situation, I think I'll join UKIP! No, maybe BritainFirst would be more appropriate.

Quite apart from the emotional damage to the first wife is the possibility of her infection with STDs every time he returns from meeting the prostitute he has made his second wife. After all, I'm sure we all know the old adage, "Once a whore, always a whore". The Moroccan strumpet, perfectly willing to ruin a marriage, will continue to ply her trade during hubby's absences in the UK. Yet in the other breath this contributor asks the OP to pray harder and increase her charitable impulses. Repulsive, phallocentric nonsense and oppression of women, something this contributor seems to think is fine.

To the OP. Get rid of this repulsive husband of yours. Dump him. I know this is far easier said than done. However, you cannot accept the emotional and physical risks of continuing. To those who say that she should stay with this man for the children, I say why would the OP want to expose them to such as evil monster?

laduqesa wrote:

To the OP. Get rid of this repulsive husband of yours. Dump him. I know this is far easier said than done. However, you cannot accept the emotional and physical risks of continuing. To those who say that she should stay with this man for the children, I say why would the OP want to expose them to such as evil monster?

It would be difficult, actually impossible, to answer this question without involving religion, a topic you don't want to hear about. So as not to upset you once again, basically divorce isn't that straight-forward for us, particularly when there is a child involved, among other things, whether it's a house or what have you. If you're living in your husbands home, you don't want to end up homeless with your child, so that he can bring his new partner to live there (which has happened). It's also the father who is responsible for the upbringing of the child after a certain age. It's important for the child to have it's father present. Terminating the marriage will effect the child, which has to be taken into consideration. Actually my parents stayed together for that very reason. They both sacrificed many years of their life, living together with someone they were not particular fond of, all for our sake! I did ask them why they did it, as I would of personally left! But I guess there are people who put their children needs before themselves. A good thing, which I hope I would be able to do if the need arises.

Also for some people, things would have been quite normal before their partner met the person, whoever they are. So they hold out hope that it's only a phase they are going through, and things will return back to normal. So giving them a chance, rather than ending things permanently. We all deserve a second-chance, don't we. And finally, the chances of re-marriage for a divorced woman with a child, is quite limited, for obvious reasons. You might argue, that you don't have to marry again. Needless to say, you can't have a relationship outside of marriage.

laduqesa wrote:

Goldkhalifa wrote:

So the brother cant bring his new wife to the uk and is very likely to return to his uk family and work. Surely its not the end of the world if he has a second wife in Morocco which he will probably only see for holidays. It does sound like he let is uk wife know that was his plans - just because she doesn't like it, it doesn't make it wrong

I just find this utterly surreal, indeed, utterly vile and disgusting.

As far as I can see, he needs her agreement to take this Moroccan prostitute as his second wife. He is not going to get it. Yet GoldKhalifa, a supposedly faithful Muslim, albeit a salafist, says, in effect, well hard Cheddar, if he does it he'll only be having sex with her on holiday and that the original wife just has to put up with it, it's not wrong.

Anything more filthy and loathsome and more calculated to give ammunition to the enemies of Islam would be hard to imagine. If this is the true, accepted situation, I think I'll join UKIP! No, maybe BritainFirst would be more appropriate.

Quite apart from the emotional damage to the first wife is the possibility of her infection with STDs every time he returns from meeting the prostitute he has made his second wife. After all, I'm sure we all know the old adage, "Once a whore, always a whore". The Moroccan strumpet, perfectly willing to ruin a marriage, will continue to ply her trade during hubby's absences in the UK. Yet in the other breath this contributor asks the OP to pray harder and increase her charitable impulses. Repulsive, phallocentric nonsense and oppression of women, something this contributor seems to think is fine.

To the OP. Get rid of this repulsive husband of yours. Dump him. I know this is far easier said than done. However, you cannot accept the emotional and physical risks of continuing. To those who say that she should stay with this man for the children, I say why would the OP want to expose them to such as evil monster?

You are welcome to comment on Moroccan marriage laws and requirements but please refrain from commenting on anything to do with Islam; because as you so often point out this is not a religious forum; you frequently insult Muslims with your anti-Islam views (example saying 'assalam alaykum, inshallah' and like are mumbo jumbo) and mainly because Islam is a way of life with a beginning, a purpose and end from which you could never comprehend or truly understand, without actually being a Muslim. If you was a Muslim your outlook and views would be coming from a position not centred around cradle to grave, and what's beneficial in-between. If you was a Muslim you would be able to comprehend that this life is a temporary passing where hardships, trials and tribulations are means of purification. If you can understand that having these hardships, trials and tribulations in this life can be a means of salvation, if met with patience and also understand that everything happens, happens for a reason.....I could carry on but I'm sure I lost you way back, I remembered that you are not a Muslim and you don't see things as we see them and without being offensive, when it comes to matters of Islam you are deaf, blind and dumb. It's a shame for you, I mean you ended up in an environment where you could almost see it - but you can't.   

A few points - the other woman; you have no right to call her a whore/prostitute. We know nothing about this woman or what the man told her. He might not have even mentioned he was married. Being a co-wife is completely acceptable in Islam and in the past was much more common than today.

Advising to break up a family when you know hardly anything is not good advise. The woman is of course upset and emotional. My advise to pray, give charity and basically focus on the one who's hands the affair is in would most likely bring the sister to a more focused and stable condition. Advising to break a marriage to me indicates you are not married and don't have children -again advising on subjects you are not really in a position to advise on.

Salafist? When did I say I was Salafist? Not that you know what the word means, to give you an idea it means some one who follows the Prophet and the first generations of Muslims. As you don't even understand the basic principles of Islam I don't want to start confusing you

Really my dear this forum has certain topics that you cant contribute to and Muslim marriage is not one of them, because you are not a Muslim and all the points on Moroccan civil marriage have already been discussed

XB23 wrote:

laduqesa wrote:

To the OP. Get rid of this repulsive husband of yours. Dump him. I know this is far easier said than done. However, you cannot accept the emotional and physical risks of continuing. To those who say that she should stay with this man for the children, I say why would the OP want to expose them to such as evil monster?

It would be difficult, actually impossible, to answer this question without involving religion, a topic you don't want to hear about. So as not to upset you once again, basically divorce isn't that straight-forward for us, particularly when there is a child involved, among other things, whether it's a house or what have you. If you're living in your husbands home, you don't want to end up homeless with your child, so that he can bring his new partner to live there (which has happened). It's also the father who is responsible for the upbringing of the child after a certain age. It's important for the child to have it's father present. Terminating the marriage will effect the child, which has to be taken into consideration. Actually my parents stayed together for that very reason. They both sacrificed many years of their life, living together with someone they were not particular fond of, all for our sake! I did ask them why they did it, as I would of personally left! But I guess there are people who put their children needs before themselves. A good thing, which I hope I would be able to do if the need arises.

Also for some people, things would have been quite normal before their partner met the person, whoever they are. So they hold out hope that it's only a phase they are going through, and things will return back to normal. So giving them a chance, rather than ending things permanently. We all deserve a second-chance, don't we. And finally, the chances of re-marriage for a divorced woman with a child, is quite limited, for obvious reasons. You might argue, that you don't have to marry again. Needless to say, you can't have a relationship outside of marriage.

Yes some very good points here

It is an impossible topic to discuss on a forum that doesn't allow any talk relating to religion whatsoever. I guess there are more appropriate places for where this discussion can be held, but this is not it. I would of liked it to be carried out here, but alas, rules are rules.

GoldKhalifa. The OP has stated that the Moroccan is a prostitute. XB23 has stated that you are a salafist.

XB23. Fortunately sharia law is not in operation in the UK. Civil divorce is available and under one ground, the irrretrievable breakdown of a marriage. We are living under a civil jurisdiction in the UK, not a religious one, thus assertions that the father should take the child or take care of them from a certain age are moot. Fortunately, in the UK, the mother would remain in the home with the child, so this point is moot too. How could the OP ever trust this man again?

She headed the thread "Need some advice about moroccan marriage system" but her original post asked much more than that as did some of her subsequent posts, thus it's not off topic to respond to those queries either. She is asking for advice.

laduqesa wrote:

GoldKhalifa. The OP has stated that the Moroccan is a prostitute. XB23 has stated that you are a salafist.

XB23. Fortunately sharia law is not in operation in the UK. Civil divorce is available and under one ground, the irrretrievable breakdown of a marriage. We are living under a civil jurisdiction in the UK, not a religious one, thus assertions that the father should take the child or take care of them from a certain age are moot. Fortunately, in the UK, the mother would remain in the home with the child, so this point is moot too. How could the OP ever trust this man again?

She headed the thread "Need some advice about moroccan marriage system" but her original post asked much more than that as did some of her subsequent posts, thus it's not off topic to respond to those queries either. She is asking for advice.

- That's because we had our run-ins. We were at loggerheads, and things that we shouldn't of said, have been said. I don't know him personally, and shouldn't of said it. Likewise some of the comments aimed at me where equally not necessary. I consider that the past.

- I didn't say the father should take the child. Nothing about that. I said it's important for the father to be present, and be responsible for the upbringing of the child (financially, as well as emotional). Which they should. It shouldn't be on the mother to provide for her kids, and take care of their needs. He needs to be involved. To be there for them, which is what I believe in.

- I'm actually speaking to a woman, who is in the process of being kicked out after her husband has left her, and also went abroad. She isn't making it up.

Also to add to that, since you don't want to hear anything about religion, I can't give you a full, detailed response to your questions, which will otherwise shed light on what has been said. GK already did that, but I wanted to go further, but it's against the rules. Anyway, it's not only our religion:

Laduqesa wrote:

We are living under a civil jurisdiction in the UK, not a religious one, thus assertions that the father should take the child or take care of them from a certain age are moot.

“The rule of law that a father is the natural guardian of his legitimate child”. I think this has been abolished. But it's nothing to do with shariah law is it.

Children Act 1989 wrote:

The Act rests on the belief that children are generally best looked after within the family with both parents playing a full part.

Again, that's nothing to do with shariah law. Anyway, this is exactly why I said it's important for the child to have it's father present, and to be responsible for the upbringing of the child after a certain age, as it's usually the mother who plays the bigger part during their early years.

Fortunately, in the UK, the mother would remain in the home with the child, so this point is moot too.

No, it depends on the circumstances. Each case is different. They can, and do have, ended up homeless after a divorce, be it because the house was sold, or payments not being kept up with, or whatever it is.

There are plenty of reasons why we believe in staying in the marriage when their are kids involved, and encourage the person to remain patient during those testing times. But I will let statistics speak for themselves:

Office of National Statistics wrote:

1 in 3 children – nearly 4 million in total – live without their father.

Youth Justice Board wrote:

70% of young offenders come from lone-parent families

Office for National Statistics wrote:

93.1% of broken families are headed by a single mother

Relationships Foundation wrote:

The direct cost of family breakdown to the UK economy has been estimated at £44 billion a year or £1,470 per taxpayer .

So you may consider our beliefs as backwards, but there is a reason why we believe in them. To add more reasons:

CIVITAS wrote:

Lone mothers are twice as likely as two-parent families to live in poverty at any one time (69% of lone mothers are in the bottom 40% of household income versus 34% of couples with children).

So it's clear that marriage is the best environment for the kids, which is why people would prefer to save their marriage for their sake, rather than divorce. As well as the country, as the taxpayers foot the bill for fatherless families.

It was my father that kept me on the straight & narrow, physically when necessary. A mother simply can not do it. That's one of the reasons we believe a father is responsible after a certain age. I'm glad my parents stayed together for our benefit:

Donnellan wrote:

One in four secondary school pupils now has a criminal record.