Hello everyone ! Just moved in in September in a maisonette, my daughter started school, everything was fine, now, she is having problems in school even at home, she misses her dad, dearly, even though she talks to him everyday, that is affecting her schooling big time and everyday she is talking about going back, besides also the fact that since we moved to Malta still. Can't find a job, her dad now is asking me to wrap things up and go back home, which I have been thinking of doing, this situation is getting me to the edge of depression for real,and affecting my health, I asked the landlord to talk to her next week, do not t know how she will react to it, I am going to be as humble and honest hoping she will understand the situation I am in.
She has a €500 deposit from me, I am sure she keep it, don t know what else she may ask me for, as my finances are shrinking big time from not working all this time beeing in Malta, and flights tickets are very expensive, so any one has ever been in this situation? Any advise? Ankhs so so much !!!!! 
Breaking the yearly lease because of moving back home
Sorry to hear of the problems you have faced.. be prepared to lose the deposit... and potentialy it could be more... but think and stay positive and try to talk calmly and sensibly to your landlord - you never know he/she may surprise you with understanding the drilemma...be open and honest.. and hope for the best - come back to the forum when you know his/her response.
I feel sorry for you being in this situation but its kind of normal.
Almost everyone goes trough the same progress when you live abroad.
I don't know how old your daughter is and of course its hart breaking when you see your child like this.
Adapting to a new country, new customs, food, school et cetera has a big effect on how your feel and it takes time, sometimes a lot of time. If its only your daughter you are worry about, try to find something which distract her in a positive way.
If its about the financial issue and due the lack of finding a job, yeah, then it would be quite difficult.
Maybe the father can support both of you, if possible until you find something?
If the only solution is to go back I am sure that the landlord understand the situation and work something out which fit for both of you.
I wish you good luck and all the best and I hope it will turn out for the both of you.
I am very sorry to hear about the situation you're in, I hope you can turn things around for the best. I was also in a situation I nearly had to leave the country due to losing my job unexpectedly, but fortunately, I managed to find another job recently. Just be honest to your landlord as I was to mine and if he has a heart, I am sure he will understand your situation. I wish you the best of luck!
First of all, thanks so much, for your comforting words, I wish I could turn things around for the best I tried, my first couple months only showed me the bad side of Malta, I only had bad experiences, I couldn t find common sense anywhere I had yo do things, people trying to rip me off, the attitude of people, hey are at first all nice and sweet then you find out there was just a game they played to get your money then , they become so indifferent towards you, finding job it s another whole ball game, they promise you something then you wait and wait nothing, and I often when I want to do a follow Ou, it seems I am begging for job, I felt very awkward, on the other side met very nice, mean nice people too, now I am trying yo make the best out of it, trying to adapt and all that, mu husband is asking me to wrap it up, to give it a try another time he said. We aren t close either it s a long trip to get here, anyway, I am going to miss Malta and the people that touched my heart and I thank you again, as you were added to the list of those people, for being so though full. My best to you and your family
remember you may have had a bed experience as have many others but take heart and some consolation in knowing that not all people are like this - there are some fabulous kind generous people in malta - many maltese are friends now... and they know of this bad side too.
it is indeed a shame that this experience has tainted your view and i can understand it 100% - good luck and take care - maybe next time armed with this knowledge and the helpful people here in this forum you can avoid these pitfalls
Hi ManhattanDave, once again, I feel sorry for what you've been throught and I really understand how you feeling. To be honest with you, I felt nearly the same way on my 1st months of relocating over here, not so much about work as I've always been working from home since the 1st moment i arrived here. After few months of getting here I also thought of leaving the country. I was also a bit disappointed about some people attitudes, their misconceptions, old habits and some racism, specially on my wife's side as she's a dark skin woman. In one occasion, we even been mistreated at Mater Dei hosp from one of the nurses because of being foreigners, which was one of our breaking points. I used to get stressed out every time I've used the public transports. Still, we've decided to give it another go, I bought a car and as my wife was at the end of her pregnancy, we've thought would be better to wait a bit longer to see if things would change. Fortunately, things started to change for the better, we felt that even thought there were still few people that weren't that nice and friendly, the majority of them, were really nice. Putting the incident at Mater Dei aside, the overall staff at the hosp (doctors, nurses, etc) have been very nice with her and I felt she has been looked after really good and the result couldn't bee happier, she gave birth to a beautiful girl
This won't probably change the way you feel and your future plans but this is just to show you that sometimes, it's worthy giving another chance. I admit that at the beginning, I used to be a bit negative about everything but afterwards, I started looking at the positive side and the good points that Malta has to offer and tried to adapt myself at the things I wasn't so happy about it. For example, stopped stressing myself out about people not respecting the queues at the bus stops, pharmacy, shops, etc and started acting the same way. We live in a very nice town which is Mellieha and we really like it. Just few weeks ago I thought I'd be forced to leave the country coz I've lost my job but fortunately, I found another job recently and therefore, we'll be staying over here.
Well, I am sorry for my long post but I really hope you turn things around for the best and that you make the right decision. All the best for you and your family.
Cheerio,
Antonio
Hello ManhattanDave,
First off I too feel sorry for the situation you find yourself in, but it really begs the question...
What possessed you to even consider expatriating without a firm job offer? This is something risky enough for a young single person looking for nothing more than an adventure, much less for an adult who is also taking along a child.
It's sad to see just how many expats really don't take the idea of uprooting themselves and moving to another country as seriously as they should. It's difficult at the best of times even with a great deal of forethought and preparation, yet some people treat it as if it's no different to moving to a new apartment across town.
"Wrap things up and go back home", sounds like pretty solid and well considered advice to me. You really should listen to it.
PEOPLE DON'T PLAN TO FAIL - THEY JUST FAIL TO PLAN.
THE WORDS ARE HARSH BUT NEVERTHELESS TRUE w j woodward.
Well I'm sure that last post is of great comfort to ManhattanDave as they attempt to pick up the pieces of their adventure in Malta !
Why on earth do some people feel the need to post patronising/negative comments on this forum ?
Listen wjwoodward , they gave it a go eh ? Sadly it didn't work out and it may well be a case of insufficient planning/research etc but we're all guilty of that at times I'm sure ! But do these people REALLY need an earful of your priceless wisdom as a parting shot as they prepare to depart ?
ManhattanDave , I'm very sorry to hear things didn't work out for you and wish you and your family all the very best going forward ! - sometimes we fail for all sorts of reasons and actually I firmly believe that people NEED to make their own mistakes as a way of learning about ourselves and what we really need in life ! - take the positives from this experience , it will stand you in good stead for the future ! Good luck and take care 👍
Toon , I agree the words are extremely harsh and in my opinion , uncalled for !
I also agree they are probably true but do we really need to trample over people's feelings, at an already low point in their lives ?
Hello! That wasn t very nice of you as being so judgemental about my situation, one knowing the details of it, I was promised a job, coming here, worked hard on following with it, they kept postponing the date of start, each time it was a different story, but it's ok everyone can have an opinion, it s just, I feel depressed at the moment, and your words didn t help my day, but don t worry, I already got over it, I am a very responsible individual and parent, with very strong ethics, and and a conscience, I am a strong person, if things didn t work out, I have to think what s best for my family first, and again not knowing exactly the depth of my situation, don t assume, I am not here to try to prove myself, as I know who I am . Anyways, with all my respect, I still thank you for your reply, in life we always learn from good and bad, so it's ok, thanks.
Thanks for your reply, appreciate it, take care,
Hello again friend, that was very nice your post , even though felt bad about what you guys had went thru, but as we say, after the rain, comes the sunshine, it seems that 's what happened to you, you were blessed with something priceless in this world, a beautiful child, god blesses her and blesses her parents, whatever situation, things always end up work out the right way, as long as a person has a positive attitude towards any situation, only time heals things, and we learn from them, that's all, appreciate all your encouragements that was very sweet of you, I wish you best of luck for your new job, enjoy that little bundle of joy, that s there counts the most in your world, nothing else is worth the hassle, as I was packing my luggage, I felt wanting to go to the beach and cry it out, but started pouring, I really need it, it will make me feel better, nothing wrong with that:) thank you, thank you again from the bottom of my heart, sincerely, Me
wjwoodward wrote:It's sad to see just how many expats really don't take the idea of uprooting themselves and moving to another country as seriously as they should. It's difficult at the best of times even with a great deal of forethought and preparation, yet some people treat it as if it's no different to moving to a new apartment across town.
"Wrap things up and go back home", sounds like pretty solid and well considered advice to me. You really should listen to it.
PEOPLE DON'T PLAN TO FAIL - THEY JUST FAIL TO PLAN.
I tell you what is sad too see how many expats who have been on this forum a very long time think that gives them an excuse to be sanctimonius and rude ,
Whilst , i may agree that in an ideal world things would run perfectly smoothly and if plans were put in place there wouldnt be so many problems .. in the case of the OP it seems they had a job offer and the problems were not their fault , they have just expereineced a bad few weeks and whilst going home on paper might see in your you opinion the best offer , i personally would say to you Manhattandave that whilst returning home in the short term might seem the right thing to do , you also have to consider the emotional affects of leaving not only on your self but also on your child. Whilst she is bound to be a bit homesick at first and she is going to miss her father continued uprooting off her in the long term isnt going to do her any good either ... it is understandble to feel upset and depressed especailly if you dont have a sense of belonging out here.
i would say you need to ask yourself the following questions
do you want to be in malta still.?
do you think you can find some work ?
have you gotten to know people out here are theres some other famlies on this forum you could make friends with . as i think having others to rely on will be good for you
if you do think returning home is going to be the best ultimate option for you then by all means you have to make the right descsion for you and your family , i wish you all the best for the future and good luck
p.s. if you want to speak to one of those young carefree people who came here without any firm plans and such .. then i will happily answer any questions .. im not saying its been easy but it can be done
ManhattanDave wrote:Hello again friend, that was very nice your post , even though felt bad about what you guys had went thru, but as we say, after the rain, comes the sunshine, it seems that 's what happened to you, you were blessed with something priceless in this world, a beautiful child, god blesses her and blesses her parents, whatever situation, things always end up work out the right way, as long as a person has a positive attitude towards any situation, only time heals things, and we learn from them, that's all, appreciate all your encouragements that was very sweet of you, I wish you best of luck for your new job, enjoy that little bundle of joy, that s there counts the most in your world, nothing else is worth the hassle, as I was packing my luggage, I felt wanting to go to the beach and cry it out, but started pouring, I really need it, it will make me feel better, nothing wrong with that:)
Thank you and you're very welcome! I sincerely wish you the best of luck to whatever decision you make, and you're right, after the rain, comes the sunshine. Take care!
GBS14 wrote:Toon , I agree the words are extremely harsh and in my opinion , uncalled for !
I also agree they are probably true but do we really need to trample over people's feelings, at an already low point in their lives ?
probably uncalled for but nevertheless true - its not the first time w j woodward has enetered pearls of wisdom for malta from brazil......
and yes i agree its not really the right time to say these things when some one is already down - but by no means out... timing and planning may be a little off and with luck it will be a learning experience and next time will probably be succesful if they wish to try again .. but i have to say an experence like this would put me off ever trying again there.
just my opinion....
and i truly wish them good luck in whatever decision is made and the path they choose to take
quote her dad now is asking me to wrap things up and go back home,
Was dad to come out and support you and child?
Did you have funds to support you for a couple of months.
Or just relying on job offer.?
"Wrap things up and go back home", sounds like pretty solid and well considered advice to me. You really should listen to it. Never a spoken truer word.
quote I tell you what is sad too see how many expats who have been on this forum a very long time think that gives them an excuse to be sanctimonius and rude ,
Its called survival kills.
Not really sure I understand that last post ?
am not understanding it either - sorry to say....
MalteseCross wrote:quote her dad now is asking me to wrap things up and go back home,
Was dad to come out and support you and child?
Did you have funds to support you for a couple of months.
Or just relying on job offer.?
"Wrap things up and go back home", sounds like pretty solid and well considered advice to me. You really should listen to it. Never a spoken truer word.
quote I tell you what is sad too see how many expats who have been on this forum a very long time think that gives them an excuse to be sanctimonius and rude ,
Its called survival kills.
you seem to have lost some of your html tags for quoting so the post is a bit confusing
but i understand what your asking ... your asking the op if Was dad to come out and support you and child?
Did you have funds to support you for a couple of months.
Or just relying on job offer.?
you also feel their best option is to return home and that the advice of the daughters father should be taken above all other options - this is fine and your entitled to your opinon my only concern would be is the father considering the needs of his family or his own needs of being able to see his daughter.
and something about survival skills , the best survival skills are gained from when things go wrong and you pick your self up dust off your trousers and you do everything you can to make a go of it and not gained from telling people on forums that you are somehow superior to them because you planned for every eventuality and that the way they went about things is somehow wrong . and they are not gained from running away and pretentding it didnt happen either .
We all make mistakes ... We learn from them and chalk them down to experience.
Maybe your choice to move to Malta wasn't the best choice but you can only look forward, at least you tried ..... Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Being an Expat isn't for everyone ... Some are home birds and trust me I have met some miserable expats here who hate the place but can't afford to move.
Spread your wings, bit more planning and security and you will be fine.
Beats me why anyone living elsewhere has to make any comment on a board not related to their previous experience.
Toon has vast experience of Malta and living here.
Mr Woodward, I would be interested to know of your experiences here.
You describe yourself (modestly) as................'That's why I'm now Brazil & Canada Expert for Expat-blog Team. At least now there's a source of reliable information so the rest of you expats won't have to go through all the nightmares I have been through.'
Doesn't apply to Malta though does it?
Couldn't agree more 👍
redmik wrote:Beats me why anyone living elsewhere has to make any comment on a board not related to their previous experience.
Because there are some experiences which is not related to a specific place in a specific country, perhaps?
But related to live abroad? Anyone who thinks can contribute to a certain topic is welcome to share and its up to the OP if its useful for them. There are no boundaries to stick only to your own forum of a country where you are currently are. Every member can share his thoughts, experiences, ideas and ask questions on every single forum of this blog
I never red a rule that prohibit this kind of acting on this blog.
Primadonna wrote:redmik wrote:Beats me why anyone living elsewhere has to make any comment on a board not related to their previous experience.
Because there are some experiences which is not related to a specific place in a specific country, perhaps?
But related to live abroad? Anyone who thinks can contribute to a certain topic is welcome to share and its up to the OP if its useful for them. There are no boundaries to stick only to your own forum of a country where you are currently are. Every member can share his thoughts, experiences, ideas and ask questions on every single forum of this blog
I never red a rule that prohibit this kind of acting on this blog.
whilst i agree with your sentiment ... i know nothing of football it has never interested me but i certainly wouldnt go on a football forum and tell someone exactly what they should do as the poster did on here by all means offer advice and support but when you tell somone they should leave and go home without having any knowledge of the country to which they are referring to then im afraid you have over stepped the boundaries
'VIP's and Experts' ?
How is this title achieved?
Is it because of the number of posts an individual has made, or is it the length of time they have used the site, or what? It certainly does not seem to be based on useful and helpful posts!
Many seem to post for the sake of posting, when they have nothing to offer other than sarcasm and rudeness, I assume to further their ambition to be one of the above!
F0xgl0ve wrote:'VIP's and Experts' ?
How is this title achieved?
Is it because of the number of posts an individual has made, or is it the length of time they have used the site, or what? It certainly does not seem to be based on useful and helpful posts!
Many seem to post for the sake of posting, when they have nothing to offer other than sarcasm and rudeness, I assume to further their ambition to be one of the above!
The title at your avatar you can achieve by the number of posts you made and it changes automatically when you number of posts doubles regardless if you post useful or helpful post.You for example, your title change when you posted 100 posts. You become a VIP when you posted 1000 posts. Not only your title will change, also the number of your suitcases increase:
25 posts -> 1 suitcase
100 posts -> 2 suitcases
200 posts -> 3 suitcases
500 posts -> 4 suitcases
1000 posts -> 5 suitcases
2000 posts -> 6 suitcases
5000 posts -> 7 suitcases
For the tile of Expert, is a bit different: base on the number of useful and informative posts and intern procedure you can be invited by the founder of this site, Julien, if you want to join the team. The experts are volunteers and a part of the team without the moderations skills.
Whilst I agree that generic advice can be given by anyone anywhere personal comments regarding an individual's circumstances in a country that one is NOT familiar with can be counter productive and in some cases harmful.
Also, to describe oneself as an 'expert' as one particular person has done is self indulgent. Only peer review should permit anyone to describe themselves thus.
F0xgl0ve wrote:'VIP's and Experts' ?
Many seem to post for the sake of posting, when they have nothing to offer other than sarcasm and rudeness, I assume to further their ambition to be one of the above!
Interesting how some do exactly that which they accuse others of doing. 
There is a review which is done by Julien and the team on EB and then an offer is made.
Hello! I wanted to thank you so so much for your nice sweet encouragement a and sharing your experiences with me, someone who can relay to my actual situation, and feelings, I hope things are working out great for your new job, you must be happier now, and time to move on the good things laying for you and your family, that s the only thing that counts in your life now, may god blesses you and yours , wishing you the best of all, have a great day
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