I'm a moroccan girl marrying a British guy,

laduqesa wrote:

By the way, the unemployment rate amongst engineers in general was 13% four years ago. It is worse now after the economic crisis:--

http://cede.lboro.ac.uk/ee2012/papers/e … 99_rdp.pdf

I really don't see you getting a job in the short term or even in the medium term that is of a level with your skills. In addition 50% of recent  UK graduates are in jobs that do not require a degree. The jobs just aren't there. Thirdly, I assume your degree is from a Moroccan university. I don't want to disparage your achievements and it sounds like you have achieved your results honestly, but it is well known in the West that some (many) degrees from the developing world have been obtained by fraud or cash. Therefore the equivalent degrees issued by Western unis are deemed to be of a higher standard.

Middle East/Gulf region is in need of Engineers and highly skilled professionals. I don't know why someone would want to look for work in England, when there are better opportunities and prospects elsewhere.

Gio, your ex is a bit brave that she asked you these questions so that she could mak the things clear to you

Gio,  Laduseqa I know ,But  U never know  what your heart can lead you to.. Now,it's already out of my hands I can't make any other decision but this one..

Good luck!

thank u guys for all ur posts

I want to keep  a self confidence but this  reality"" really makes me feel down 

I'm not trying to depress you - far from it. I think you have to be realistic though.

And I know it's very easy for me to give advice out - it's not my situation. I don't know how I would accept my own advice!

Yes laduseqa, I have / well, i would say we( both my husband and I) have enough confidence to face these and we are realistic ;we seem to have thought of everything..and ready to face any barrier, I trust him a lot

betysam wrote:

Gio, your ex is a bit brave that she asked you these questions so that she could mak the things clear to you


Well, you are right about the differences between living with my in laws down here in Morocco or in the Uk, no way of comparing between the two,but at least I would say in case we live with my in laws, we ( my husband and I ) have a seperate bedroom,that is the only thing I can guarantee, I would not have a word concerning the decor of the house or the kitchen or else the food etc, that's  a big  issue ..I won't feel as a woman, it's like if they are going to adopt me nothing else..
Being with a strong personality , I think I'll be in a big trouble living with them unless if i'm trying to live with and for their choices..

I don't think it was bravely. As I don't think anyone wants to live with the in-laws, especially not in-laws with different language/culture/customs. Even though I & my ex, shared the same language and culture, still she wasn't happy to live with the in-laws. I can imagine it will be much worse for you, as you're not Pakistani. Having a separate bedroom means nothing. Houses in England are small, and bedrooms are very close to each other. Privacy will be very limited, even in your own room. I have a Moroccan friend, living in London, he went to Morocco & got married. And now moving out of the family home, even though the girl is Moroccan like them, and London rents are very high, but still he is leaving the family home, and moving into a place that he will share with her. He could of used the excuse that London rents are too high to save money, and that she is Moroccan and will easily settle in with them, but he didn't. I personally think having your own place is much more important than saving money on rent.

yes,Gio, I believe your are absolutely right

I wish you luck.

thank you Gio, that's so sweet of u

No problem, let us know how it goes.

I married a moroccan girl and we now live together in Leicester.  What you may not be aware of is that a lot of Pakistan and Indian Muslim's follow a different type of Islam to what is followed in Morocco.  Sometimes with a lot of biddah and shirk. I would first find out about what 'group' he belongs to because you and any children will end up following the same. What Masjid does he go to because this usually indicates what group he is with.  It's different to morrocco.  I would I have put in the marriage contract that you will live in your own place because you may end up being treated very badly living with a mother in law. Pakistan culture is often backwards and completely different to moroccan culture which is closer to the islamic way.  The other question is why is he marrying from Morocco and not his own 'community'? Is he divorced or I'd there a problem with him. If you want me to go and meet him I will be happy to do so. My wife is very happy in Leicester and she would be happy to meet you if you come here.  There is very little chance of you getting a job here, only jobs going are house wife and mother.  Any questions please ask. The visa process fir us was very quick, I think 3 months.  Leicester is a nice place, lots of Muslim's. Good standard of living.  Message me if I can be of any help

@Goldkhalifa

Ah, I see where you are coming from now. Please confine your religious prejudices to yourself. You think the woman won't get a job because she ought not to, her place is in the home. What arrant nonsense to spew to a well-educated and qualified Moroccan woman coming to the UK. I do think she will have trouble finding a job, yes, but that's because of the general economic situation.

As for the rest of your intolerant posts, I regret that they were made and am glad that someone who knows much more about Islam than I do was able to call you out on them.

I shan't be responding to you further.

Thank u Goldkhalifa,
He is Sunni exactely like me, thank u for bringing out this point
I have met him and his family , so thank u very much for being ready to meet him for me.
The truth of u being married to a Moroccan wife explains why did he want to marry me, or  may be we have different point of views, but i  deffinitly  respect urs, But our relationship is based on mind and on heart ,and h e is not divorced or older, he is exactel y the same age as mine.
I might agree about the truth that Pakistani are backwards,  ..well not completly

Hi everyone > just to inform that some posts have been removed from this topic.

Dear all,

its really funny to see comments and advice from third parties that have no idea about her husband and what his intention are , it is very wrong to give an advice on this matter.
None of you had given even positive advice so far ...how about this small example???????????
what about if her husband wanted her to stay with his family for little while because he is trying to save a bit of money so they can stand on their feet or have good start in life or want to save money for deposit to buy a flat or ...or  trying to pay his debts or he is trying to earn better qualification to gain better employment or he has good plan for his wife to learn from his mum how to cook asian food or ....or ...i could list many positive reason here.
You need to know the circumstances of her husband as well before you give any advice ...and as her husband is not here on this forum then i see it absurd to make any judgement on here. we are hearing only one side of story.
Regarding your employment , that would depend on your skills and knowledge as you said , no one has right to say that will be dificul or easy , and everyone has his own luck , some have found a job from day one and others took them longer ...the most important is that you speak english and thats very positive step towards getting an employment unless like some foreigner who immigrated to uk and they did not speak a word of english and even though  i know many already that have job without speaking the language.
One last thing i would advice you is not to discuss your personal life on the forum , cuz you do now who you are getting an advice from specially you do not know them in person and they dont know your real circumstnces are so it will be invalid to take an advice.
also you may get an advice from wrong person who had failures in his journey life doing same experience as you and you dont wanna apply that to your life experience.
My only advice to you is have good intention of whatever you decide to do and inchallah you will be rewarded from allah.

SALAM

I have missed to mention one more point :
Any cultural tradition or religious differences should have being discussed before marriage already and not after you get married. so before the nikah you get to sit down with man you planning to get married to and inquiry any issues you may have with him or anything  that you wish to know  about him , his family , his personal life , his past life  etc....and once you are satisfied then you can make the move.
what i do not understand is why many people get themselves rushing into marriage with foreigner and later they start asking strangers about the differences that they may face with their spouces.
I beleive you should do your home work before the exam that is my opinion.
I apologise if i am being direct and stra8 forward.

Waalikum assalam wa  rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, London 76

I have no words to add, really, by u saying ur post here ,u were right In every single thing u have said
Thank u

Yes, i get ur point,
I did all my homework, no worries, i'm/we are  aware of all the cultural barriers
thank u for ur advices

You won't know how anything will turn out, until you actually experience it, no matter how much preparation & research you have put into it. So just ensure you prepare/research well, and if you're happy with your decision and the outcome of your preparations, then go and hope for the best. You live once, life is short. Don't waste time thinking about it. Plan, decide, then do it! InSha'Allah it will go as planned.

In shaa Allah, thank u zayn.

Another thing is, to be realistic. If you go there with big expectations, you will quickly become disappointed. Don't expect that you will simply walk into the job you want, even if you are a degree holder. It's an expensive place to live, and the cost of living is ever rising. It has it's advantages, but also disadvantages, which many people seem to overlook. One of the things you will notice is the social life. It's quite different to Morocco. It's far less family-orientated. Life is more hectic and runs at a faster pace, compared to the laid back lifestyle in Morocco. Which has led for some to become homesick. London is a good place to live, since there are a number of areas concentrated with Moroccans, and that can make you feel at home. A lot of other Arabs and foreigners too, so you will never feel like an outsider and will fit in immediately. You mentioned Leicester. From my understanding, the foreigners there are mainly Asians. I'm not an Asian myself.

Interestingly enough, I lived with an Asian family when I was young (aged 10). This might sound odd, living with them, but we moved to Newcastle due to my father finding work there, and while we were looking for somewhere to stay permanently, we stayed briefly with a small Asian family (1 young girl & 1 older daughter), who had their spare rooms up for rent, and the location was convenient. They were from Pakistan, specifically. We didn't have a single problem with them. I really enjoyed it. Never once did I find a cause for concern. No fights, arguments, or that nonsense. We are not argumentative by our nature. We try to fit in anywhere we go, and things we don't like, we keep it to ourselves, for the sake of peace, and calm. However, during my several visits to Morocco, I've noticed that some tend to be quarrelsome, which may be a normal thing there, but it will be problematic if you have a strong personality and vocal about your feelings, when living under the same roof as them. As they expect things to run the same way, their way, and if you are expecting change or compromise, then that may spell trouble.

Hi

Do you have any information around what do you need to take with you to marry in Morocco? I'm a  British citizen and marrying a Moroccan so wondering what documents I need and also how long it takes to process? There seems to be lots of information online but unsure which is correct. I've tried calling the embassy in London and emailed but no response.

Your help would be most appreciated.

Hi

You will need...  Valid passport.
*   4 photos.
*   Birth certificate.
*   Certificate of conversion to Islam.
*    Criminal records issued by the police in UK.
*    Divorce certificate if you have been married before.
*    Certificate of no impediment.
*   Proof of employment along with the last 3 months pay   slips.
*   Certificate of capacity from British Consulate in Morocco.
Criminal records from the Ministry of justice in Rabat
Medical Certificate issued by a doctor in Morocco .

It will probably take about 3 weeks if you are organised....first step is to have an appointment booked at British embassy before you fly out.  Then after the marriage there is the visa so check online about the requirements and current processing times

Thank you that's great. Really appreciate your help. With the appointment with the British Embassy what do they do.? What's the reason for a medical certificate?

Thanks so much

No worries.  At the British embassy they just validate your passport,  like give you a certificate - you have to get everything translated into arabic. The medical certificate - do it in Morocco because it's cheaper, it's nothing really just to say you are in good health and that the women has not been 'messing about' before marriage!

- First check whether you satisfy the requirements to bring a partner to the UK (if you intend to live here with her). This includes the new financial requirements, as well adequate accommodation and other things you must satisfy. This information can be found on the UKBA website.

- They need to speak English to a reasonable level. They have to sit an English exam at one of the test centres in Morocco. Information about that can be found on the British Council website. I seriously suggest that if you're sure the marriage will be going ahead and everything will be in place, then for her/you to book the English exam from now, as sometimes it takes time before there is an available date, and also it takes time for her to receive her results. You can not apply and send off the Spouse Visa until she passes the exam, so that's why I'm saying book it from early, so she can sit it and receive her results as soon as possible.

- I took a medical record from London. The one I got from Morocco, the so-called certificate was a joke, for want of a better word. I basically paid for the paper and got it in 5 minutes. Actually I was disappointed. I went out of my way to get a real medical paper from London, as I am totally against the idea of anything not 100% genuine. So instead of a doctor or someone appropriate checking the record I brought with me, or even me undergoing tests there, for which I'm more than happy to pay for, instead I was given a paper, signed, saying I have nothing of concern, after she asked me to pay for it. She got one too the same way.

I paid my gp for a letter too,  money straight in his back pocket but I didn't go for the full record!    The moroccan doctor was much more honest and friendly and I'm sure only charged us a small amount.  Don't bother letting your gp make a few quid as the morocan's won't accept it any way

This is really useful thank you. Do you have contact details for the British embassy in Morocco? Do you know how much notice the place needs where we get married in Morocco to see the documents before we get married? I'm not converting to Muslim so does this make a difference?
Also what checks do they do at the doctors as in how do they check things like 'you haven't been messing'. I just hate needles so wanted to know so I can prepare myself.

Thank you appreciate your help. What checks did the Moroccan doctor do with you .

Shook my hand and gave me salaam.  Said he was happy to see English Muslim and then had to go back to looking after the patient's.  Nothing to worry about.

I simply requested at the front-desk, a copy of my full record they have of me, and they gave it free of charge, instead of asking the GP for a letter, which will basically be the same thing, but for which I'm certain, knowing him, he would of asked money for it! Regardless, the Moroccans won't even look at it, never-mind ask for it. So it's a waste of time and possibly money, getting anything from the GP.

If you're lucky, well in my case, I found it unlucky, the doctor in Morocco won't do anything, apart from give you a signed paper in 5 minutes, after paying him. I think this is a problem, as the husband or wife may have something, that without proper tests might be unknown to the other partner.

Mulchaleah1986 wrote:

This is really useful thank you. Do you have contact details for the British embassy in Morocco? Do you know how much notice the place needs where we get married in Morocco to see the documents before we get married? I'm not converting to Muslim so does this make a difference?
Also what checks do they do at the doctors as in how do they check things like 'you haven't been messing'. I just hate needles so wanted to know so I can prepare myself.

- I went to the British embassy in Rabat, and booked an appointment via their website:

rabat.clickbook.net

I think there is a British embassy in Casablanca too. But anyway, I went to the one in Rabat.

- If you're not a Muslim, nor plan to become a Muslim, then marrying a Muslim Moroccan woman is not allowed. In general, marrying a Muslim woman isn't allowed, regardless of her nationality, if the man isn't Muslim. If you're both Christian and/or Jews, then that could be done, but slightly differently.

- The doctor won't do anything to you. Just throw him dirhams, he will throw you the paper.

This is great thank you. Do you have any info for the British embassy in Morocco. Also how much notice I have to give with my fiancé before we can get married. I've heard some places need 3 months notice but just wanted to know if this is the case? Also do I need to travel to Rabat to see  them and show them my passport?

Thank you. My fiancé is  Muslim and I am not. My family are Jewish so what would happen in this case? Thank you all for your help.

Yes, you have to travel to Rabat. I gave the information about the embassy in the post above yours, which you may have missed. You don't need to give them 3 month notice at all.

Mulchaleah1986 wrote:

Thank you. My fiancé is  Muslim and I am not. My family are Jewish so what would happen in this case? Thank you all for your help.

A Muslim man can marry a Christian or Jewish woman. But double-check with your fiancé, and get him to check the marriage laws in Morocco just to be certain of what the laws are regarding mixed-faith marriages.

This is fantastic thank you. I was just advised that if I am providing my certificate of no impediment from the council here in the Uk that I may need to request this 3 months prior to the marriage which sounded strange. So I guess if we are not getting married until December or January than I have lots of time and maybe start preparing them November of which I can travel to Rabat.

Thank you for your help