To marry or not to marry? that's the question

This "triviality" is considered by many the most important achievement in life.

You know I really do not think it matters.

I am not planning to get married, but whatever I think now flies out the door the second I fall in love.

I kinda agree with loner look at all of these relationship problems:
Affairs / infidelity / cheating ( the worst one)

Sexual Problems

Significant differences in core values and beliefs

Responses to prolonged periods of Stress, such as Work-Related Stress, long-term illness, mental health issues, Financial Problems, problems with the children, infertility and many more

Bored in or with Your Relationship or ...

Relationship Communication issues

Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as physical abuse

  Knowing you should not have got married in the first place! (regrets)

Lack of responsibility regarding finances, children
Unrealistic Expectations - still thinking your partner / spouse is the princess / knight and not seeing the 'real' human being

Addictions - substance abuse (see: Alcoholism Stages)

Excessive reliance on social media, at the cost of the relationship (see: Facebook Problems)

Lack of support

Manipulation or over-involvement in your relationships with family or friends

Lack of communication about important matters

Poor division of and / or one-sided lack of responsibility for chores and tasks.  It is not always women who complain about this relationship problem!

Perceived lack of concern, care and consideration / attentiveness

Significant personal disappointments and traumas.

Long term depression or other mental health issues suffered by one partner or both

Significant differences in opinion 

Long-term stress

"message"

until u fall in love first, then everything else comes second in mind.and then u would just realize, all my life, this is what ive been missing.pathetic.

i have a question and a suggestion
the question is :Dont you have a sexual desire ,
if you dont the suggestion is : you should see a doctor.
your probleme in this short life is inside the question.

I was married and for the most part it was good. Then we got divorced and I discovered that I enjoyed my freedom enough that I never remarried. One does not have to be married to have a wholesome and wonderful relationship. If in your life you choose not to have children then the marriage thing may have very little value but if you do want children then I urge you to marry the mother of your child. AS in all things choose for yourself and live with the consequences.

pathetic. after years of hardwork in marriage, sweetness and love for each other,there's one common endpoint.divorce.isn't it pathetic hailey?need i to elaborate more?

HaileyinHongKong : what is The basis of human being
sexual desire , marriage , human being
FOR normal peopole its ALL linked together in one circle

.

Abes677 wrote:

i have a question and a suggestion
the question is :Dont you have a sexual desire ,
if you dont the suggestion is : you should see a doctor.
your probleme in this short life is inside the question.

i don't know if that's ironic but it is believed that wives refuse to have s3x with their own husbands most of the times...

i will give you islam opinion about this case wich is also my opinion:Islam encourages and insists on chastity and fidelity. Islam prohibits and condemn illicit sexual relations, extra-maritial affairs, pre-marriage sex, fornication, adultery, prostitution, pornography and promiscuity. It is for this reason that a wife is bound to fulfill her husband's sexual desires so as to prevent him form straying.

Abes677 wrote:

It is for this reason that a wife is bound to fulfill her husband's sexual desires so as to prevent him form straying.

And not the other way around?

Abes677 wrote:

i will give you islam opinion about this case wich is also my opinion:Islam encourages and insists on chastity and fidelity. Islam prohibits and condemn illicit sexual relations, extra-maritial affairs, pre-marriage sex, fornication, adultery, prostitution, pornography and promiscuity. It is for this reason that a wife is bound to fulfill her husband's sexual desires so as to prevent him form straying.

Salam Bro.,
Please don't get me wrong.
I invite you not to involve religion in your discussions on the site (which you are doing mostly) because this is your "own personal believe". In addition, please stop saying the phrase "Islam says" as you are just translating "literally" from Arabic to English, which gives very weird impressions about Islam concepts and doesn't explain them correctly.
Also be advised that such weird impressions, which other members might get from your translations, will drag you into more debates "as the one below" which you are not up to.

Thanks for considering my words,
MO.

Primadonna wrote:

Abes677 wrote:

It is for this reason that a wife is bound to fulfill her husband's sexual desires so as to prevent him form straying.

And not the other way around?

I agree with  you MO2013, that's why I ask that question in the hope that he can give me a good answer or at least, to think about what he wrote.

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

What does sexual desire have to do with marriage?

I got married when I realised there would come a day when I wasn't handsome enough to pull a bird so I'd never get a bonk.

Any other questions?

Abes677 wrote:

i will give you islam opinion about this case wich is also my opinion:Islam encourages and insists on chastity and fidelity. Islam prohibits and condemn illicit sexual relations, extra-maritial affairs, pre-marriage sex, fornication, adultery, prostitution, pornography and promiscuity. It is for this reason that a wife is bound to fulfill her husband's sexual desires so as to prevent him form straying.

Yes, I gave up a lot when I converted.

to marry
not to marry
to marry
not to marry
to marry
not to marry ............

"veeeeeeeeery confusing"

I feel sad for your post, mainly that you feel love and marriage is trivial....I am so sure you will not entertain the same beliefs when God allows you to meet someone that touches your soul and opens your eyes in ways you don't see now. Life alone is very difficult. Sharing life with someone you truly love is the greatest gift we can ever have.

Wow...how ironic a statement. I have only heard about husbands that want to sin against their wives by committing adultery? However marriage vows are to be taken seriously before God. Both men and women have equal responsibilities toward each other.in everything. So please refrain from sarcastic sexist remarks, they are so redundent.

faithandHope wrote:

I feel sad for your post, mainly that you feel love and marriage is trivial....I am so sure you will not entertain the same beliefs when God allows you to meet someone that touches your soul and opens your eyes in ways you don't see now. Life alone is very difficult. Sharing life with someone you truly love is the greatest gift we can ever have.

WOW, I cannot believe that you said "sad", don't you think it is a little bit "big" word.

- Can you tell me how did you get that it wasn't really confusing for me, heh?

- How did you get my feeling about love and marriage that is trivial, do you read minds?

- How can you be sure that that I will not entertain the same beliefs when God allows me to meet someone that touches my soul, do you see the future?

The answers of my questions are clear:
you misunderstood my post and neiter you can read minds nor see the future.

Therefore, i suggest when you emphasis about the certainty of something "which you don't know" to take it more easier and try to understand what others want to say.

My apologies Mo2013 as my response was intended for the original post, not for yours. There appears to be some technical issues with this site? I answered a completely different post yet it appears here as well. I had no confusion with what you posted here and understood your viewpoint....

My post here speaking of adultery was in response to a man that made sexist remarks concerning women. Why it got posted here is obviously another tech error?

faithandHope wrote:

My apologies Mo2013 as my response was intended for the original post, not for yours. There appears to be some technical issues with this site? I answered a completely different post yet it appears here as well. I had no confusion with what you posted here and understood your viewpoint....

faithandHope,
Thanks for your fast and kind reply, appreciated. you are a true gentle-woman.

Shukran....I thank God for this. I don't want anyone to misunderstand me either.

faithandHope wrote:

Wow...how ironic a statement. I have only heard about husbands that want to sin against their wives by committing adultery? However marriage vows are to be taken seriously before God. Both men and women have equal responsibilities toward each other.in everything. So please refrain from sarcastic sexist remarks, they are so redundent.

Don't worry your pretty little head about that nasty man.

mas fred wrote:

Any other questions?

Many.  Oh so many.

faithandHope wrote:

My post here speaking of adultery was in response to a man that made sexist remarks concerning women. Why it got posted here is obviously another tech error?

If you don't want to see sexist comments, you're at the wrong website.  Racism is not tolerated at all - which is a good thing - but hatred of women is very popular.

I'm not worried, just find negative remarks and "blanket statements" demeaning women (and men) rather sad...respect is obviously the high road...but thank you for your concern.

I'm new on this site so I haven't witnessed this, besides this 1 comment. I think for the most part that men do respect women. (Can men disrespect their own Mother or sisters?) I think the issue is that many people forget that blogging and interacting online is still communication between people. I talk to people with respect in person....as I do in any forum. Thank you for your feedback, I hope your day is blessed.

faithandHope wrote:

I feel sad for your post.

You're sad because i chose an alternative way of life and have different views on marriage? And who are you to insinuate that we find happiness in marriage? Are you the author of the marriage? life alone is hard for you but not for me. Obviously you can't stand different opinions from yours and you are at the wrong place.

Loner: Please don't judge harshly those who have a different opinion from yours - and in the same post demand that others accept your opinion!
In addition, it is not up to you to decide who should be on this forum and who not!

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

faithandHope wrote:

My post here speaking of adultery was in response to a man that made sexist remarks concerning women. Why it got posted here is obviously another tech error?

If you don't want to see sexist comments, you're at the wrong website.  Racism is not tolerated at all - which is a good thing - but hatred of women is very popular.

Guys don't hate women; we love you.

Now, go make me a cup of tea.

How many men does it take to make a cup of coffee?



None - It's women's work.

Good to hear this....I'm supposing you want some chai...

Actually I don't set the standard for life..only God does. And I never said I am unhappy nor did I insinuate people only find happiness through marriage. But I do believe finding someone you really love will change your outlook. I would like to add that if you post something of this personal a nature then you are inviting peoples opinions and interactions. I think most here have been more than respectful towards your feelings.

You better hide bud

Marry only with a right girl of your own choice if you really want to live happily in your life.