Dating I HCMC

Lazyfun wrote:

To find a good girl is to invest in a bad girl.

make sense buddy! you remind me of my best buddy hes American..he was dating with a viet girl they start to live together and the girl asked him to stop hanging out with me "she's freaking jealous" with knowing that were best buddy 3 years already before they knew each other..and month before i plan to move in Cambodia he called me for a beer and he said that the nice girl he used to know is a bitch..girl stop working and just asking for money every month and he even ask him dont play music and stop hanging around with all friends including man the worst thing is the girl is having sex chat with random guys..shame..
and girl ask permission to go in Nha Trang having vacation with family but she was with the guy she used to chat,

Tong Tran wrote:

My friend dated with a American for the first time and she doesn't continue with him for the second time because in our culture, boy usually cover for girl at the first date.

Maybe it's my British roots, but as an American I would NEVER dreem of expecting any girl to contribute on a first date (or on most any date for that matter). My father raised me to open doors, pull out a chair and generally treat a lady like a 'lady' ... he would be mortified if I split the bill with a girl after I asked her to go out for a date! Just my 2 cents worth

John

Chris NJ wrote:

NashCat wrote:

cth wrote:

Might have been a record if all replies were on topic.
Interesting thread tho

Yeah, most of them are off topic .... waiting for someone to mention the kitchen sink

Do you know where I can get someone to fix my kitchen sink ?

I don't care who ya are .... that thar is funny

@akoaysibrey

Your friend should of just listen to his girlfriend/wife. You are such a bad girl to have made her jealous?! I am joking.

Getting hot here

I agree that some VN girls who look for foreigners and their money. There are some girls still taking their time to find a good man (either foreigner or local one) at a right time and right place before decide to get married even thought they're 30+.

What if the girl is lucky enough that she meets a rich man and what if she doesn't not love him because of his money but himself??? How can you tell when you were not at her side?

=> Don't judge them when you see they walks side by side with a rich, good looking man if they're not pretty girls.

I have some couples VN girls and foreigner men (they spent 3-4 yrs dating before get married) and the ladies are not all pretty but they have beautiful kids, happy family and a loving couple.
ETC

So please don't think every girls are looking for marriage or money because they all are not like that.

@ Tien Tran: Women are not ugly, they're just not as pretty as others. The beauty comes from the inside.

Saigon Visitor wrote:

Maybe it's my British roots, but as an American I would NEVER dreem of expecting any girl to contribute on a first date (or on most any date for that matter). My father raised me to open doors, pull out a chair and generally treat a lady like a 'lady' ... he would be mortified if I split the bill with a girl after I asked her to go out for a date! Just my 2 cents worth

John

John,
I too was raised in the South, and manners will never go out of style.  When we were in Vietnam, many people just stared at me and later I found out that some Viet men had commented about "...how my wife controlled me...", while a lot of the Viet women comments were "... you are so lucky to have a husband that does things like that for you..." 
I just had to laugh to myself because my wife does so much more for me than I will ever be able to 'repay' her for. 

In the US, many younger folks don't open doors for their wives and girlfriends, but some do.
my 1000 dong...
CT

Ayden's_mom wrote:

I have some couples VN girls and foreigner men (they spent 3-4 yrs dating before get married) and the ladies are not all pretty but they have beautiful kids, happy family and a loving couple.
ETC

@ Tien Tran: Women are not ugly, they're just not as pretty as others. The beauty comes from the inside.

My wife and I dated for over 3 years and have been happily married for almost 11 years. 

She doesn't consider herself pretty, but I sure do... 

Her personality (beauty on the inside) is what everyone sees.

CT

Patience is the key:)

I used to work with a lot of foreigners in Vietnam and they respect Vietnamese a lot. Because we are workaholic, and honest also clever too. I think everywhere will have both good people and bad people, so don't look down to Vietnamese just because of some bad people. Maybe Vietnam is not a rich country YET, but we are trying so hard to make it become a strong nation in the near future. Back to your situation, depends on the place you usually hangout, you will find what you can get at that place. I mean, for example, if you're looking for a real relationship but you always come to the nightclub or bar full with money girls, then you out of luck. Vietnamese culture is very traditional, especially for girls, so good girls will never hangout late at those places like that. You should try your luck at some museum or art centre, or you can go to some English club also some coffee shop where they want to make friend, to learn and to exchange the culture first then you can find a girl you are looking for. Just remember that good girl is hard to find, once you can find her, it's totally worth. Don't waste your time with money easy girls in vietnam because sooner or later she will end up with you and leave you nothing. It's a pleasure to share something to you. Good luck and welcome to Vietnam

My experience with VN girls and culture is that they will tow the parents line 9 times out of ten . The girls are programmed to believe that they owe the parents something, because they brought them in to the world . However that is the culture and we foreigners have 2 choices on how to deal with it

Like it or Lump it

so, u mean your month is S15000/month  and she is earning $250/m ?

NashCat wrote:

jinxedta wrote:

I not looking for for that type of girl.

I stay away from the so call easy girls. too many land mines in that field.

What about dating site anyone have any luck with those here?

Is there a singles mixers or speed dating places in HCMC?

Try vietnamcupid.com ... but, those girls are looking for marriage. In Vietnam, they don't meet guys to date on/off, it's either a home run or not. Many "good girls" are virgins till marriage

Most of the girls on vietnamcupid.com are easy girls pretending to be good girls.

Tong Tran wrote:

In Viet Nam, parent usually force girl to marry from 25 - 30. Over 30, it is not good for giving a birth and people around you will have rumour such as "Poor her!!! She could not find a man, that is the reason why".

Especially, the girl in The north, average marriage age is 25. Vietnamese has a concept that people just have a mature and stable life until they get a husband. Keeping an old girl in family without marriage is like keeping a bomb. Someday, it will explore and "bommm!!!" (It means that she will have sex and be pregnant)

So, If you want to date with any girl, please set expectation with them first. Because this is our culture. Girl will expect to marry you, it is very natural and usual in this society, we accept it.

yep!

A serious relationship ==> Dating ==> then Married (All of what good girls expect from their boyfriend)

* Just because good girls they do not have time for playing games around*

Try this app on appstore or android : OkCupid. I like this app, it's not just find someone to dating, you can find lot of interesting people there.

You're supposed to pay for EVERYTHING in Vietnam. Even if you're going out with a group, people usually fight over the bill because whoever pays exert dominance and is basically the alpha male of the group.

Stupid but blah, its culture.

LaxFogo wrote:

You're supposed to pay for EVERYTHING in Vietnam. Even if you're going out with a group, people usually fight over the bill because whoever pays exert dominance and is basically the alpha male of the group.

Stupid but blah, its culture.

Where are you living in? The moon?
Its nothing like that with me and my friends here.

VanKhanh Ho wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

You're supposed to pay for EVERYTHING in Vietnam. Even if you're going out with a group, people usually fight over the bill because whoever pays exert dominance and is basically the alpha male of the group.

Stupid but blah, its culture.

Where are you living in? The moon?
Its nothing like that with me and my friends here.

Lmfao I actually live in Binh Thanh. You're bullshitting if you're really trying to tell me that it's not a cultural thing for Vietnamese to fight over the bill.

Ok that is people around you.

For the people around me, I have been living here in Saigon for 7 years including 4 years in Thu Duc District, 1 year in Binh Thanh District, 2 years in District 2, and have been working for 3 years in District 1. Every time I hangout with my friends, different groups of friend, either for food or drink, we SHARE.

Only for some special occasion, for example I just have got a promotion, then I will inform everybody from the very beginning that I will pay. And other people will not "fight" with me at all.

I will not argue with your comment on people around you. But to make a conclusion about Vietnamese culture will take you more time and experience.  Don't act like a frog in the well.

VanKhanh Ho wrote:

Ok that is people around you.

For the people around me, I have been living here in Saigon for 7 years including 4 years in Thu Duc District, 1 year in Binh Thanh District, 2 years in District 2, and have been working for 3 years in District 1. Every time I hangout with my friends, different groups of friend, either for food or drink, we SHARE.

Only for some special occasion, for example I just have got a promotion, then I will inform everybody from the very beginning that I will pay. And other people will not "fight" with me at all.

I will not argue with your comment on people around you. But to make a conclusion about Vietnamese culture will take you more time and experience.  Don't act like a frog in the well.

You just assume I've only been around "Vietnamese culture" for a short while? I've only been Vietnamese for a short 19 years of my life, sorry mate.

Oh sorry, you still have less than me 6 years

I don't meant that who is living here longer will have clearer view. I don't meant that I know the whole thing. It's same with you. I'm not with you to know what happen in your life but just try to inform you that there are different behaviors which is you still don't know. Hope you can review your conclusion one day.

NashCat wrote:

If u r looking for just sex, there's lot of those too .... just not a lot in between. BTW, if u r looking for a good girl, aren't u looking for marriage?

You nail it on the head.
"A good girl aren't you l looking for Marriage".
Why would a good girl give her body away for free she looking for a stable partner for life.
Not a wham Bam thank you Mame.

LaxFogo wrote:

You're supposed to pay for EVERYTHING in Vietnam.

I think he meant " love affairs". As I see, men usually pay everything. This is true everywhere

Hey Jinxed, I started going to church and meeting English speaking, good Viet girls. Also Christian Cupid dot com, and Vietnam Cupic dot com.  Still you have to sort through the golddigger.  Good luck. SG

Dejavu.dot wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

You're supposed to pay for EVERYTHING in Vietnam.

I think he meant " love affairs". As I see, men usually pay everything. This is true everywhere

No, its actually really is Vietnamese culture to do so.

LaxFogo wrote:

No, its actually really is Vietnamese culture to do so.

I don't think it's Viet culture nowadays. I don't know about foreigner much. But a Viet man often pay for his girlfriend. After marriage is quite different. Someone works for goverment, his income is low, his can't pay all, and his wife also must work so hard to have money for family ! It's especially right for Northerners, because it's not easy to earn money here, except you must be corrupt (money, or time - to work in many companies)

And many young people now, they always share everything with others. Maybe you often hang out with some girls, who don't have a good job, so you must pay all? My friends are not like that, we always share everything. But if someone is a guest in here, I will try to pay all, but it's not normal.

I don't know about dating in Vietnam because I've been married my entire adult life in the U.S. , but I can comment on Viet Kieu (s) in the U.S. on how many..(not all) spend their monies on dating and entertaining. Most VNmese that I have known LOVEEEEE  to entertain family and friends. There is a big emphasis on the quality of food and drinks to be served. If a VNmese INVITES you then you are not expected to pay. I have observed this culture in many other patriarchal societies like VN too. If a woman happens to date a wealthy WESTERNER then most likely she will never be expected to pay for anything. Likewise if she dates a poor guy then she shouldn't expect too much him either.  Young people tend to go dutch on a shared meal because they do not have disposable income. Older financially stable people tend to take turns on paying for meals as they go.

While in VN, I never saw any of my family members fight over the bills.  Actually, if any of them found out I was going on a trip or eating somewhere they asked my mom to ask me if they could go. I didn't mind because they are my extended family and I also know that they know I am the wealthiest and oldest of them all. I think it's really dependent on disposable income nowadays for most people in most cultures.

ngattt wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

No, its actually really is Vietnamese culture to do so.

I don't think it's Viet culture nowadays. I don't know about foreigner much. But a Viet man often pay for his girlfriend. After marriage is quite different. Someone works for goverment, his income is low, his can't pay all, and his wife also must work so hard to have money for family ! It's especially right for Northerners, because it's not easy to earn money here, except you must be corrupt (money, or time - to work in many companies)

And many young people now, they always share everything with others. Maybe you often hang out with some girls, who don't have a good job, so you must pay all? My friends are not like that, we always share everything. But if someone is a guest in here, I will try to pay all, but it's not normal.

I guess I grew up that way since my dad always pay for everything when we go out with a big group of people (this was in the US). So when I came to Vietnam, I don't really hangout with expats with but with well to do locals and it seems to be the same way.

MIA2013 wrote:

I don't know about dating in Vietnam because I've been married my entire adult life in the U.S. , but I can comment on Viet Kieu (s) in the U.S. on how many..(not all) spend their monies on dating and entertaining. Most VNmese that I have known LOVEEEEE  to entertain family and friends. There is a big emphasis on the quality of food and drinks to be served. If a VNmese INVITES you then you are not expected to pay. I have observed this culture in many other patriarchal societies like VN too. If a woman happens to date a wealthy WESTERNER then most likely she will never be expected to pay for anything. Likewise if she dates a poor guy then she shouldn't expect too much him either.  Young people tend to go dutch on a shared meal because they do not have disposable income. Older financially stable people tend to take turns on paying for meals as they go.

While in VN, I never saw any of my family members fight over the bills.  Actually, if any of them found out I was going on a trip or eating somewhere they asked my mom to ask me if they could go. I didn't mind because they are my extended family and I also know that they know I am the wealthiest and oldest of them all. I think it's really dependent on disposable income nowadays for most people in most cultures.

Exactly, its a cultural thing for Vietnamese to go out and pay for the whole group. Many people do not experience this because they hangout with westerners or the locals they know can't afford it.

LaxFogo wrote:

Exactly, its a cultural thing for Vietnamese to go out and pay for the whole group. Many people do not experience this because they hangout with westerners or the locals they know can't afford it.

If you think it's culture ==> there are many rich people in Vietnam? Are you sure?
When I was in Hanoi, I can earn money a little much, because I had job immediately after graduate. I attended a birthday party of my closest friend, that's time he didn't have a job. So I want to pay all for him and all my friend, about 1 mil VND in 2004, not much with many people, but very much with me . But one guy said: no, you are crzay, we will share. We always try to share with others, not because we can't pay all. I'm sure about that.

BTW, my dad always pays all for group, that's why he had many friends. But when he had something in his life, I didn't see many people tried to help him .

ngattt wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

Exactly, its a cultural thing for Vietnamese to go out and pay for the whole group. Many people do not experience this because they hangout with westerners or the locals they know can't afford it.

If you think it's culture ==> there are many rich people in Vietnam? Are you sure?
When I was in Hanoi, I can earn money a little much, because I had job immediately after graduate. I attended a birthday party of my closest friend, that's time he didn't have a job. So I want to pay all for him and all my friend, about 1 mil VND in 2004, not much with many people, but very much with me . But one guy said: no, you are crzay, we will share. We always try to share with others, not because we can't pay all. I'm sure about that.

BTW, my dad always pays all for group, that's why he had many friends. But when he had something in his life, I didn't see many people tried to help him .

You just proved my point, its a cultural thing to do if they can afford it.

Not everywhere in Vietnam is as expensive as Saigon btw. Don't be so close minded.

LaxFogo wrote:

ngattt wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

Exactly, its a cultural thing for Vietnamese to go out and pay for the whole group. Many people do not experience this because they hangout with westerners or the locals they know can't afford it.

If you think it's culture ==> there are many rich people in Vietnam? Are you sure?
When I was in Hanoi, I can earn money a little much, because I had job immediately after graduate. I attended a birthday party of my closest friend, that's time he didn't have a job. So I want to pay all for him and all my friend, about 1 mil VND in 2004, not much with many people, but very much with me . But one guy said: no, you are crzay, we will share. We always try to share with others, not because we can't pay all. I'm sure about that.

BTW, my dad always pays all for group, that's why he had many friends. But when he had something in his life, I didn't see many people tried to help him .

You just proved my point, its a cultural thing to do if they can afford it.

Not everywhere in Vietnam is as expensive as Saigon btw. Don't be so close minded.

Come on it's not about affordable or not 

It's about who you are. If you are a friend, we share. If you are a guest, I pay. If I consider you as potential boyfriend, you pay. Nothing to fight here.

LaxFogo wrote:

You just proved my point, its a cultural thing to do if they can afford it.

No, you misunderstood me! I want to say, when someone is really difficulty about financial and she/is really close with me, I will try to pay for them, but it's not normal (in this story, I said, my friend didn't have a job at that time). But next time, if we had another party, that guy would be paid all .
If someone never pays, I'm sure, I will never want to hangout with him/her.

ngattt wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

You just proved my point, its a cultural thing to do if they can afford it.

No, you misunderstood me! I want to say, when someone is really difficulty about financial and she/is really close with me, I will try to pay for them, but it's not normal (in this story, I said, my friend didn't have a job at that time). But next time, if we had another party, that guy would be paid all .
If someone never pays, I'm sure, I will never want to hangout with him/her.

Right but you guys are mainly young kids, you haven't gotten to the that point where you have the money to do that yet. Old people usually do what I brought up as a cultural thing.

I relly dont know what the kind of vietnamese girls ,did  you meet .what did they do to make foreign guys think Vn girls like call girl who will sex with u immediately cause your money  . For Vietnamese girl I feel sad ,hurt about the ways foreign people think about us . Some girl could be date with u cause your money or you're western guys, but that dosent mean all of vietnamese girl ,that  depend person .and every country has diffrent culture. ,we need to learn how to respect that

LaxFogo wrote:

Right but you guys are mainly young kids, you haven't gotten to the that point where you have the money to do that yet. Old people usually do what I brought up as a cultural thing.

It doesn't depend on your age, but your lifestyle/attitude!
I have a friend, she is very rich, she always invited me to the party in her house, everyweek. I really wanted to buy something (like fruit) when I went there. But she knew I couldn't spend money like her, so she always bought everything, even after party she gave me much fruit to bring to my home.
I didn't know how to help her, just always tried to wash up all dishes, cups,... (so much!), cook with her if I had time. Sometimes, I bought some special fruit for her, like durian. I tried to help her family when someone was in hospital, gave money for her grandchild when Tet's holiday.
There are many ways to "pay", if you want!

PS: but I really didn't want to eat free food always. It made me feel uncomfortable. That's why when I live far from her now, I always denied her invite . It's not easy to pay anything for me 

Jinny.Nguyen wrote:

I relly dont know what the kind of vietnamese girls ,did  you meet .what did they do to make foreign guys think Vn girls like call girl who will sex with u immediately cause your money  . For Vietnamese girl I feel sad ,hurt about the ways foreign people think about us . Some girl could be date with u cause your money or you're western guys, but that dosent mean all of vietnamese girl ,that  depend person .and every country has diffrent culture. ,we need to learn how to respect that

Oh calm down. I don't think that he means so.

LaxFogo wrote:

ngattt wrote:

LaxFogo wrote:

You just proved my point, its a cultural thing to do if they can afford it.

No, you misunderstood me! I want to say, when someone is really difficulty about financial and she/is really close with me, I will try to pay for them, but it's not normal (in this story, I said, my friend didn't have a job at that time). But next time, if we had another party, that guy would be paid all .
If someone never pays, I'm sure, I will never want to hangout with him/her.

Right but you guys are mainly young kids, you haven't gotten to the that point where you have the money to do that yet. Old people usually do what I brought up as a cultural thing.

So you mean, "Vietnamese culture is Rich people will have to pay all". In this case, I say maybe, if they willing to. If not, people still share and happy to share. As Ngattt , and a lot of people I see, old people especially, feel uncomfortable to let other pay for them.

Your original statement is "there's always 1 person have to pay for the whole group when you hangout, that is Vietnamese cultural". So I disagree with this. Since I rarely see it around me, it just happen for some special occasion.

Alex3372 wrote:

If you marry - you marry the whole family. If not then just pay for sex.
Difficult question, on the one side I need love on the other I don't want responsibility for the whole family.

Another solution is getting married with middle-class girls whose family are educated and rich. They don't need you to feed them. But you have to be somehow different to be chosen.

I also feel it's hard to take responsibility for whole family

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Alex3372 wrote:

If you marry - you marry the whole family. If not then just pay for sex.
Difficult question, on the one side I need love on the other I don't want responsibility for the whole family.

If so, it is better to be single and play
I also feel it's hard to take responsibility for whole family

Why do the same posts keep showing up over and over?