How can an egyptian man get a divorce

#1 08 November 2012 03:30:18

diamond5
diamond5
Vineland

How can an egyptian man get a divorce

Hello, thank you Egyptian blogger, for the divorce comments to the other website visitor/inquiry. Can you expand on it a bit for me?

I met an Egyptian man on line and we became very interested in each other. He was basically manipulated into a marriage with a cousin that he did not love when he was very young (17).  His parents and her parents were obviously related and the woman is his cousin and now also his wife.

He never loved the woman but feared his family so he married her out of compulsion because they told him he must honor his parents wishes before Allah.  So he married the woman and has never been happy with her.

Now he is 37 and has been married for so many years to this woman he has never loved and he is just sick with grief these many lost years.  She does not enjoy sex and the marriage has been unhappy for him.   

To make a long story short, both of his parents died, and he remained with his wife until he met me and fell in love with me, an American, and yes I know people think it is  just for a green card, but I know that is not true.  He is very sincere with me and is a very God-fearing Muslim.  we have not even touched each other.  The contact has been only verbal, with respect for God and religion until he is divorced. 

He told her he wanted a divorce to marry another woman but she was outraged and went to divorce court and told the court crazy lies that he would leave the country and not support her or the children which is not true and she is demanding gold, and a house, and other financial support such as fifty thousand pounds which he does not have. 

He is not a man of wealth.  He has been a Barber for over 20 years.  All these years they lived with her parents and no one ever made an issue about him buying her a house or giving her fifty thousand pounds but now that he wants a divorce there is this greed and demand of gold, a new house with new household appliances, furniture, finances and also alimoney and support that he simply does not have.

He is willing to pay alimoney and child support and even agreed to buy her a house but he does not have fifty thousand extra pounds and money to furnish the entire house on top of all that.  What are his rights as a man in Egypt?  can't he just get a simple divorce?  I thought Muslims could just tell their wife 3 times they want a divorce.  How can these people force him to give the wife money that he does not have.

They are telling him they will not let him out of the country if he does not pay her these things.  How can that be legal civic court?  Is this legal?  Even the Quran says a man is only obligated by Allah to pay what he has within his means, that he is not obligated to pay more.  Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease. Quran Sahih International (65:2)

He is telling me the lawyer and her family is demanding he pay her.Is this a some type of family-related religious obligation thing?

Can Sharia law help him get a simple divorce and pay her within his means?

Please give advice. Thank you.

Last edited by diamond5 (08 November 2012 03:40:10)

#2 08 November 2012 07:35:42

Melissa
Melissa
Pamplemousses

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

Hello diamond5,

Welcome to expat-blog!

I have started new thread for you on forum Egypt for better visibility.

Could you maybe ask more specific questions :)?
It will make it easier for the members to help you.

Good luck,

Melissa

#4 08 November 2012 08:26:44

The Egyptian

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

In Islam, the divorced woman has right to the following

1- Deferred dowry (Mu'akhar مؤخر) as agreed in their marriage contract

2- Alimony for waiting period (Support for her for 3 months post divorce)

3- Alimony for Mut'aa (for enjoying her company), which is for half the period of marriage. If they were married for 20 years for instance, he has to support her financially for 10 years.


4- If he has signed a Pledge (Qa'ema قائمة) which is a customary practice in Egypt, saying that the husband received as a matter of trust the following items (sometimes they make him sign for receiving gold and jewelry). This is legally an IOU ... It is used to restraint men from divorce. Stupid, isn't it?

Now let's move on to children, if he has children, he has to

1- Provide shelter, which has to be a housing within his means, doesn't have to "buy", he can rent. They cannot force him to buy (unlike the myth that many people believe).

If they were already living in his property, she has the right to seize it until the children are past custody age (boys' custody age is 15, girls' custody age is until they are married !!!)

Shelter has to be furnished and is in a "livable condition".

If a woman wishes to remain with her family, he will have to pay the equivalent of the rent of a proper housing to her as a "Housing Pay" ........

2- Pay for child support, which includes food, medical bills, education .....

However, the court is usually wise, and stipulates that all expenses (her alimony, child support, housing, ...etc., cannot amount to more than one third of his income, especially if he remarries and shows the court he has another family to support now).

#5 08 November 2012 08:39:54

The Egyptian

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

and, on a side note, divorce, custody and visitation laws in Egypt are designed to cripple any man thinking of divorce.

The laws are well biased against men ..... For instance if he does not pay alimony, she'll easily send him to jail in 2 months, but if she does not let him practice his visitation rights, he can do nothing !

#6 08 November 2012 08:44:52

layla1313
layla1313
Hurghada

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

how are you? my marriage certificate says 20 bucks if divorce lol if it doesnt say anything else what you said does apply with no kids?

i thought after like age 9 the costody goes to the father. alos its like that in the states if a couple has children and the man doesnt pay he goes to jail and has to pay back pay too. BUT a man can also claim the same if his wife makes more money than him or he doesnt work.


The Egyptian wrote:

and, on a side note, divorce, custody and visitation laws in Egypt are designed to cripple any man thinking of divorce.

The laws are well biased against men ..... For instance if he does not pay alimony, she'll easily send him to jail in 2 months, but if she does not let him practice his visitation rights, he can do nothing !

#7 08 November 2012 08:51:49

The Egyptian

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

layla1313 wrote:

how are you? my marriage certificate says 20 bucks if divorce lol if it doesnt say anything else what you said does apply with no kids?

i thought after like age 9 the costody goes to the father. alos its like that in the states if a couple has children and the man doesnt pay he goes to jail and has to pay back pay too. BUT a man can also claim the same if his wife makes more money than him or he doesnt work.


The Egyptian wrote:

and, on a side note, divorce, custody and visitation laws in Egypt are designed to cripple any man thinking of divorce.

The laws are well biased against men ..... For instance if he does not pay alimony, she'll easily send him to jail in 2 months, but if she does not let him practice his visitation rights, he can do nothing !

I am fine ..... long time no see !

If you have no kids, you get your deferred dowry, plus alimony for your waiting period + half marriage period.

Example : If you were married 10 years, and your contract says your deferred dowry is 10K EGP.

Upon divorce, your husband has to pay 10K EGP up front, then pay your alimony for 3 months of waiting period + for five years from that date.

Doesn't matter if you make more money or if you are richer than him.

In Egypt, custody WAS until the kid is 9 years old, but it was amended ...... And, visitation is not guaranteed ! So a man can keep on paying for, but not seeing his children !

#10 08 November 2012 09:03:31

layla1313
layla1313
Hurghada

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

i have heard similar stories..


(this is not directed at your man) but there are many ppl that seem god fearing muslims that pray 5 times a day etc. and still are bad and lie.




diamond5 wrote:

Hello, thank you Egyptian blogger, for the divorce comments to the other website visitor/inquiry. Can you expand on it a bit for me?

I met an Egyptian man on line and we became very interested in each other. He was basically manipulated into a marriage with a cousin that he did not love when he was very young (17).  His parents and her parents were obviously related and the woman is his cousin and now also his wife.

He never loved the woman but feared his family so he married her out of compulsion because they told him he must honor his parents wishes before Allah.  So he married the woman and has never been happy with her.

Now he is 37 and has been married for so many years to this woman he has never loved and he is just sick with grief these many lost years.  She does not enjoy sex and the marriage has been unhappy for him.   

To make a long story short, both of his parents died, and he remained with his wife until he met me and fell in love with me, an American, and yes I know people think it is  just for a green card, but I know that is not true.  He is very sincere with me and is a very God-fearing Muslim.  we have not even touched each other.  The contact has been only verbal, with respect for God and religion until he is divorced. 

He told her he wanted a divorce to marry another woman but she was outraged and went to divorce court and told the court crazy lies that he would leave the country and not support her or the children which is not true and she is demanding gold, and a house, and other financial support such as fifty thousand pounds which he does not have. 

He is not a man of wealth.  He has been a Barber for over 20 years.  All these years they lived with her parents and no one ever made an issue about him buying her a house or giving her fifty thousand pounds but now that he wants a divorce there is this greed and demand of gold, a new house with new household appliances, furniture, finances and also alimoney and support that he simply does not have.

He is willing to pay alimoney and child support and even agreed to buy her a house but he does not have fifty thousand extra pounds and money to furnish the entire house on top of all that.  What are his rights as a man in Egypt?  can't he just get a simple divorce?  I thought Muslims could just tell their wife 3 times they want a divorce.  How can these people force him to give the wife money that he does not have.

They are telling him they will not let him out of the country if he does not pay her these things.  How can that be legal civic court?  Is this legal?  Even the Quran says a man is only obligated by Allah to pay what he has within his means, that he is not obligated to pay more.  Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease. Quran Sahih International (65:2)

He is telling me the lawyer and her family is demanding he pay her.Is this a some type of family-related religious obligation thing?

Can Sharia law help him get a simple divorce and pay her within his means?

Please give advice. Thank you.

#11 11 November 2012 16:00:06

Ahmad Khallaf

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

You gotta know something, not all Egyptian men who meets and fake a relation with a foreigner do it for Green card only, Money is a big motive as well. disgracefully some men are very stupid to go far beyond any mind can Imagine for money, sex and life (which is green card for them)

Well, as an Egyptian man the whole story sounds like very fishy for me. I wouldn't believe him to be honest.

I guess that soon he will come to ask you for money to pay it for her and divorce her and finally be able to marry you and he will pay every penny who took from you later when you're happily married.

all what I am saying is that you should be ware of your emotions before you're worried about anything else. words are always great but actions are what counts at the end.

I really do hope I am wrong and you have one fine man in your hands. all what I am saying is that you've to be damn sure before you sacrifice any of your happiness for someone who doesn't deserve it.

Best of luck

#12 11 November 2012 19:25:18

layla1313
layla1313
Hurghada

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

i like what you said at the end.. "you've to be damn sure before you sacrifice any of your happiness for someone who doesn't deserve it." 



Ahmad Khallaf wrote:

You gotta know something, not all Egyptian men who meets and fake a relation with a foreigner do it for Green card only, Money is a big motive as well. disgracefully some men are very stupid to go far beyond any mind can Imagine for money, sex and life (which is green card for them)

Well, as an Egyptian man the whole story sounds like very fishy for me. I wouldn't believe him to be honest.

I guess that soon he will come to ask you for money to pay it for her and divorce her and finally be able to marry you and he will pay every penny who took from you later when you're happily married.

all what I am saying is that you should be ware of your emotions before you're worried about anything else. words are always great but actions are what counts at the end.

I really do hope I am wrong and you have one fine man in your hands. all what I am saying is that you've to be damn sure before you sacrifice any of your happiness for someone who doesn't deserve it.

Best of luck

#13 12 November 2012 07:09:03

The Egyptian

Re: How can an egyptian man get a divorce

You can find out if the green card thing is what he wants or not so simply by telling him you want to settle down in Egypt ..... and see what his reaction is gonna be

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