wjwoodward wrote:Any marriage, not just a mixed marriage, is based on three things - a triangle if you will - LOVE, RESPECT & TRUST. If any one of those factors are missing a couple simply does not exist.
To love your partner, first you must also love yourself - have a feeling of self worth. Unless you have that self love you can not really love anyone else. You must understand too that love is not passion or attraction. Love is that deep rooted desire to be with someone simply because you want to be with them, not because you NEED to be with them. Love is that strong bond of friendship that conquers all barriers.
To respect someone again you must also have self-respect. Respect is not always easy because sometimes it also involves sacrifice. Sometimes we must make compromises out of respect for our partner. It is also a two way street, the respect must be mutual.
Trust is the most difficult of all to achieve since it grows over time, it's fragile and can easily be destroyed. Again it also depends on a certain level of self-trust. You must be confident in order to really trust.
If you have all three of these things then a marriage (mixed or otherwise) stands a decent chance of success. If not, it's doomed to failure. Just remember love is a seed that we plant. We nurture it and watch it grow. Once the flower blooms we must redouble our efforts in order to keep it alive and vibrant. That rose will wilt and die unless we constantly tend to the garden.
I am in a mixed marriage, it is mixed in every sence of the word - there is not only a cultural difference (I'm Canadian and she's Brazilian), but there is also a racial difference (I'm white, she's negro) and a vast difference in ages (I just turned 63, she will soon be 27). Luckily, we both have the same sentiments about love and marriage. We both are "good gardeners" and constantly work on building a strong relationship. Despite the fact that we face many prejudices and others who are simply thoughtless, we are strong. I have never been so happy in all my life, neither has she... the real beneficiary of all of this is our wonderful five year old son who is very happy, very much loved and has both a mother and father who are constantly present in his life. Before you go thinking that our relationship is based on money, wrong! I'm not wealthy, I work hard to earn a living and we just make it by. My wealth, the greates riches in this world can't buy. My wealth is my wife and son.
Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog
your words and thoughts is very well delivered ... plz help how if you are not only mixed marriage but also different religions .. that makes us "double-mixed-marriage" .. now i can say that i will do my best and continuously LOVE, RESPECT, and TRUST him ^^
that's all upon time.. even we have not meet yet hehehehhe