#1 2011-11-24 18:32:38
- Cutade
- New member

- From: Jakarta
- Registered: 2011-11-24
- Posts: 4
Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi everyone..
Call me Ade, I am from Jakarta, and interested to live in Pakistan since I'm planning to get marry with Pakistani man
Unfortunately, everything is seems very hard. There might be a culture shocks for me since we are deciding to lives in Pakistan after the married.
Well, I just want to know more about the culture in Pakistan, According to his information which based on Pakistan culture, that a woman is not allow to work / find a job as a employee. Is that really true??
Because I used to work in Jakarta, I am a career woman, but he said once we got married and lives in Pakistan, than I must follow Pakistani culture, which I am not allow to work. I should become only a Housewife. And I'm not so sure that I can stand it or not.
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#3 2011-12-19 23:33:35
- alyssa89
- Member

- From: Islamabad
- Registered: 2011-12-19
- Posts: 12
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
hi i am english and moved to pakistan about a year ago. dont believe what the news tells you etc because pakistan is quite a modern country, women here do work i have seen... but i suppose on what part of pak you will be living in. i live in islamaba and i have seen women working, smoking, dating etc but i know that in the more rural areas people are not as tolerant of the modern women as the large cities are... hope this hleps
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#4 2011-12-20 13:11:47
- alyssa89
- Member

- From: Islamabad
- Registered: 2011-12-19
- Posts: 12
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
many women prefer to be housewives and stay homewith the chilren but if they choose to work they are allowed... you should read the Quran and have your husband read too, Allah says women are allowed to work
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#5 2011-12-20 13:45:27
- farrukh_r
- Member

- From: Toulouse
- Registered: 2011-11-07
- Posts: 15
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
alyssa, I am impressed with your thoughts
Islam does allow women to have their space, rights and freedom..
Ade, you can definitely work if you want to in fact being a foreigner your salary might be higher than locals 
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#6 2011-12-20 17:57:47
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
cutade, u can definitely work there. but i agree with alyss. Karachi, Islamabad and Lahore are the only well managed educated and modern cities of pakistan if ur man lives in these area than u can go out for work of ur own choice but if your man lives in any tribal area than i am glad to say that TALIBAN will come to say welcome to u hahahahah.
Regards
#7 2011-12-26 10:12:34
- JOJO86
- Member
- From: Faisalabad
- Registered: 2011-12-24
- Posts: 12
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi Ade
I would just like to say this is not the matter of small or big cities. Infact it is the matter of education / expoture the families have. If the man you are going to engage with is educated and have a good expoture then you will not face any issue doing a job.
There are people or families in big cities like islamabad, lahore, faisalabad and karachi where families have thoughts to not allowed women for work but Islam allows in certain limits.
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#8 2012-01-18 04:09:03
- talkingdentistry
- New member
- From: Islamabad
- Registered: 2012-01-17
- Posts: 2
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
well...keep few things in mind...pakistani society is very male dominating(a little more than almost anywhere else)....women CAN work by law..n by religious norms...but working atmosphere is not very women friendly esp if u r not living/working in islamabad and may be karachi....where ppl are slightly more liberal and working women are taken casually....dont wear flashy or skin revealing clothes to office or in public...it would be a bad bad move....unless you like being taken as an office whore:P...pakistani men just cant handle cleavage...
you dont wanna discuss religion /american policies with anyone...deep inside they all hate americans(and jews/indians if you really must know)
and yeah one more thing....your inlaws(your mother in law to be more precise) will almost certainly not like the idea of you working (even if land a multinationals executives job)...historically working women were frowned upon by most of the pakistanis...and most pakistani men are mammas boys,end of the day.....hope mytwo cents of advice was helpful...
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#9 2012-02-14 07:12:42
- invoice6807
- New member
- From: Lahore
- Registered: 2012-02-14
- Posts: 2
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi if your husband has no objection you can easily
work in pakistan, Pakistani women are very modern
they drive cars, they are in every profession so dont worry
Pakistan culture is very good you will not get any shock.
Ghilman
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#10 2012-02-14 15:57:28
- faizee5252
- Active member

- From: jakarta
- Registered: 2011-12-22
- Posts: 38
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
actually a lot of advise already been there. but i can understand as i m from karachi & living in Jakarta. so its a cultural shock to me also. it took me a year to adjust. although i come from modern city of karachi, it was difficult to absorb..
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#11 2012-03-08 15:52:56
- malikengland
- Member

- From: Jakarta
- Registered: 2010-11-02
- Posts: 20
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Salam Ade,
My husband was showing me your message here and we both laughing cause what you worried about adjusting with Pakistani culture also happend with me. Well let's talk in bahasa okay to make it easy for me to share my thought about this.
Ade, yang paling penting adalah menyiapkan mental untuk hidup mengabdi pada suami & in law department kalau suami kamu sudah kasih aba2 bahwa dia lebih suka istri tinggal dirumah untuk urus keluarga, yang menurut saya pribadi akan sangat berat karena konsep "mengurus keluarga" dalam Pakistani culture termasuk kedua orang tua maupun saudara2nya ( sangat2 berat lagi kalau mereka tinggal dalam satu rumah bersama kamu karena kamu harus mengurus mereka dari mulai memasak hingga pekerjaan rumah lainnya )
Jadi, kalau kamu type wanita karir akan sangat sulit menerima budaya tersebut, tapi sekali lagi cinta kadang butuh pengorbanan seberapa besarnya tergantung kamu sendiri
Ok Ade good luck, wish you all happiness..
Aysha Malik ( wanita yg rela meninggalkan karir , teman & kecintaannya di Indonesia demi my beloved Pakistani husband...but still I'm lucky coz I'm living in Dubai far away from mine & his family
)
Note : O ya, jangan lupa tentang pandangan sinis perempuan2 Pakistan saat kamu bergandengan mesra dgn suami...hahaha...abaikan saja walau hati kesal.
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#12 2012-03-08 19:09:54
- Raazia
- New member
- From: Riyadh
- Registered: 2012-02-21
- Posts: 9
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi,
i am also from pakistan,lahore.well,things have changed a lot and women r working in every sector.and yes its a plus if you have a foreign degree.trust me you can earn more than average pakistani woman.about culture its again dynamic...about ur in-laws u need to ask more frm ur man.and dont worry u'll get adjusted...All da best!
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#13 2012-03-09 08:05:27
- Harmonie
- ViP

- From: Mauritius/Ile Maurice
- Registered: 2011-06-13
- Posts: 19273
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi malikengland, could you please post in English in this Anglophone forum?
Thanks,
Harmonie.
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#14 2012-03-31 16:04:31
- Options
- New member
- From: Lahore
- Registered: 2012-03-16
- Posts: 5
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi Ade, I am Sohail. Welcome in Pakistan. I think the guy who gave you information about our society ad culture are totally wrong.Either that guy is uneducated or he wants to misguide you.
If you have visa and work permit of Pakistan then there must not be any problem for you. If you need any kind of assistance you can send me an e.mail and I will guide you.
Best Regards
Sohail
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#15 2012-04-14 18:00:38
- Cutade
- New member

- From: Jakarta
- Registered: 2011-11-24
- Posts: 4
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
DEAR ALL.....
Thank you so much for all your comments on this post.
Unfortunately, the plan for visiting or even stay in Pakistan will never happen. Frankly, the relationship is finished. The marriage is Off since he will get marry with his cousin
this is also the culture right?
Well, never mind, i'll be ok because the time will heal, i'm sure!!!
Big big Hug to you all!!!
Again, really sorry for the late reply because I open it very rarely. please feel free to write me on my email: pocut.farra[at]gmail.com
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#16 2012-04-24 11:08:09
- immehunzai
- New member
- From: Islamabad
- Registered: 2012-04-24
- Posts: 1
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
in simple it all depends on the guy you gone marry .. there are women working and its absolutely wrong say woman are not allowed to work .
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#17 2012-05-13 16:10:12
- haggishunter
- EB member +

- From: Edinburgh
- Registered: 2012-05-02
- Posts: 522
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Im married to a pakistan man, he still there at moment. Im in uk working. I told him if i moved to pakistan i would help him on farm and he understands.
I would be driven dolally staying at home all day,as long as i got chickens, goats, and my veg plot, and helping hubby i will be happy, We will also have our own house.
I could also take over my paints and spend all day painting.
Last edited by haggishunter (2012-05-14 01:08:41)
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#18 2012-05-14 12:50:19
- Options
- New member
- From: Lahore
- Registered: 2012-03-16
- Posts: 5
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
Hi,I am also a Pakistani citizen.The reservations do you have about Pakistani life, it depends on the background of your hubby.If your husband belongs to urban area then no need to worry but if he has rural background then there are few possibilities of sub-standard life style.Better solution is to talk directly with your hubby and on the other side being friends we are always on your disposal.Keep in touch
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#19 2012-05-23 15:33:11
- DrHassanMalik
- Serial expat
- From: Jeddah
- Registered: 2012-01-30
- Posts: 263
Re: Hi...just want to make friends and looking for opinion
alyssa89 wrote:
many women prefer to be housewives and stay homewith the chilren but if they choose to work they are allowed... you should read the Quran and have your husband read too, Allah says women are allowed to work

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